Russian Women Discussion

RWD Discussion Groups => Questions to Russian Ladies / Спросите Русских Женщин => Topic started by: farmer.Al on December 26, 2015, 10:16:02 AM

Title: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: farmer.Al on December 26, 2015, 10:16:02 AM
I would like to have children and I would like to find a partner who really wants children. I am  searching on Elena's for ladies who want to have children.   A lot of the ladies that come up are 30 to 35, divorced with no children which seems a little odd, if they wanted children and could get pregnant then why didn't they when they first got married?

OK, I  know it is hard to generalise but could someone explain the most likely explanation as to why?

I am selfish,obviously,but I  want to be sure of finding someone who really does want children not someone just saying that to cast their own net wider.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: calmissile on December 26, 2015, 12:17:46 PM
I would like to have children and I would like to find a partner who really wants children. I am  searching on Elena's for ladies who want to have children.   A lot of the ladies that come up are 30 to 35, divorced with no children which seems a little odd, if they wanted children and could get pregnant then why didn't they when they first got married?

OK, I  know it is hard to generalise but could someone explain the most likely explanation as to why?

I am selfish,obviously,but I  want to be sure of finding someone who really does want children not someone just saying that to cast their own net wider.

This is an interesting question.  I asked my UA wife her opinion on the topic. I will do my  best to transate what she said.

My brother in law in UA was faced with this issue.  His wife was unable to have children for several years.  They tried for a very long time before she conceived.  It was an medical issue the wife had.  My wife indicated that many of these cases are because of 'female' issues, rather than a desire to not have children.  Apparently, this problem is much more prevalent in the FSU than in the USA.

She has discussed this issue many times since coming to the USA.  A couple of UA friends that she met here in the USA indicated that they did not want children, but after becoming close friends they admitted that they are unable to have children.  Apparently there is a stigma to admitting that a woman cannot become pregnant and only admit it to close friends.

She also indicated that sometimes the problem is the male's ability to have children.  I asked her why and she made some loose reference to Chernobyl as well as being drunks, etc.  I doubt Chernobyl is a legitimate cause, but then it is not my area of expertise.   It is the culture in UA to have children in the late teens or early twenties.  She indicated that it is not common for women to put off childbearing in place of education and career development as is becoming more common in the USA.

I am not sure what to advise you but consider it not usual for women of this age group to not already have children.  I suppose you could ask them why and evaluate their answers, but as my wife indicated you may not receive the truthful answer.

We were fortunate in that my wife came with a wonderful 5 year old daughter, and I had no desire to add a newborn into the family.  You might consider looking for a wife with a young child.  It would indicate that she is likely to be able to have more children, but then you would be adding the responsibility to raising the existing child as though it were your own.

Hopefully some of our female members on the forum can add their opinions to the thread and get a more diverse response to your question.

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: jone on December 26, 2015, 01:13:02 PM
I know many women who are in their early thirties from FSU countries.  I can tell you that the great majority of them, if they don't have children, are planning to have them ..... immediately.


(http://www.wikihow.com/images/1/14/Draw-an-Old-Fashioned-Alarm-Clock-Step-15.jpg)


Imagine a giant sized alarm clock going off right next to you, ringing away, with the only way to stop it by jumping your man and getting pregnant.  That about sums it up.

Now, to be truthful, there are two types of women that are on the dating sites.  The first is not really into finding her man.  She might be a pro-dater or someone who has lots of experience dating.  She has made the choice not to have children because her active lifestyle does not include time for them.  Just for the fun of it, label her "American".

Then there is the other type of woman on the dating sites.  She has never found her man, or if she has, he has not lived up to her standards.  So when she finds someone that she likes, she is more than likely going to want to start a family with him.    This is true for most of the women from the FSU that have married men from the West.  See the alarm clock up above!
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Muzh on December 26, 2015, 02:18:19 PM
My best advice is DON'T.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: zooble on December 27, 2015, 12:39:38 AM
Just bring up children early such as before you meet... but probably not in the first conversation.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: farmer.Al on December 27, 2015, 02:31:26 AM
I know many women who are in their early thirties from FSU countries.  I can tell you that the great majority of them, if they don't have children, are planning to have them ..... immediately.


(http://www.wikihow.com/images/1/14/Draw-an-Old-Fashioned-Alarm-Clock-Step-15.jpg)


Imagine a giant sized alarm clock going off right next to you, ringing away, with the only way to stop it by jumping your man and getting pregnant.  That about sums it up.

Now, to be truthful, there are two types of women that are on the dating sites.  The first is not really into finding her man.  She might be a pro-dater or someone who has lots of experience dating.  She has made the choice not to have children because her active lifestyle does not include time for them.  Just for the fun of it, label her "American".

Then there is the other type of woman on the dating sites.  She has never found her man, or if she has, he has not lived up to her standards.  So when she finds someone that she likes, she is more than likely going to want to start a family with him.    This is true for most of the women from the FSU that have married men from the West.  See the alarm clock up above!

I have lived in Eastern Europe so I  know that they place great importance on having children. Every young woman that I know out there has had children within a year or two of getting married,in fact most have not married until they were pregnant.

That is why it seems so odd to me that they are saying that they want children when they didn't have them when they were married.

I fully understand the situation with never married ladies but not with the divorced ones.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BC on December 27, 2015, 04:59:52 AM
Despite disparity in age, culture, likes and dislikes, this was one desire we both brought into the relationship. - and it happened rather quickly.

One aspect might be that I find FSUW women quite pragmatic.. and that life choices may well depend on whether or not the ground they sow is fertile enough and can support a child.  I can imagine some may wait for that to happen.

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: alex330 on December 27, 2015, 09:32:52 AM
I will echo what Cal posted upthread. The only FSUW women without children in that age range have had female issues and are unable to.

In most of the world the sperm count for men has gone gone dramatically recently as well. In Russia it is even more of an issue than elsewhere.

This study has more info on other reasons as well -  http://yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/russian-demographics-perfect-storm
 (http://yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/russian-demographics-perfect-storm)
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Gator on December 27, 2015, 10:56:31 AM
I know many women who are in their early thirties from FSU countries.  I can tell you that the great majority of them, if they don't have children, are planning to have them ..... immediately.


(http://www.wikihow.com/images/1/14/Draw-an-Old-Fashioned-Alarm-Clock-Step-15.jpg)


Imagine a giant sized alarm clock going off right next to you, ringing away, with the only way to stop it by jumping your man and getting pregnant.  That about sums it up.


Farmer Al,  you do not have to ask the question.  The woman who wants to have a baby will raise the subject and she will be as obvious as Marisa Tomei: 

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=My+Biological+Clock+Is+Ticking&view=detail&&mid=6A3F097B18EFDB79921F6A3F097B18EFDB79921F
Title: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: 2tallbill on December 27, 2015, 11:31:09 AM
I am selfish,obviously,but I  want to be sure of finding someone who really does want children not someone just saying that to cast their own net wider.

Most FSUW will want to have children especially if they don't have any. Very few will
say that they want children if they don't. If they are going to lie about something
more likely it will be about smoking, since they plan to quit someday.

It's for more common for an FSUW to say that she doesn't want children then change her
mind, than to say she wants children and then decide that she doesn't.

(http://lilywell.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/biological-clock.jpg)
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: LAman on December 27, 2015, 12:10:30 PM
I think the presumption in Ukraine is to have a child before 30 because you are considered 'too old' to have a child after this. There could be many reasons a women in her 30's has not had children.....not only medical ones.
The women I speak with in their 30's( not kids) seem to want a family, who knows what they really mean. I wonder how strong the urge is for a women to give birth to a child( at least one)!!!!

 
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: GuppyCaptain on January 15, 2016, 06:47:46 AM
Okay, this needs clarification. I thought that all FSUW want to have at least one child, but some of the things written up thread suggest there might be some who don't. Is that right?

I ask because honestly I'd be more than okay without having a child. I don't have any now and honestly the thought of a newborn is not appealing to me. This is one of the reasons why I'm very open to marrying a lady with a child already.

Also, I just don't see a woman leaving her family, friends, and everything she knows and is comfortable with if there isn't a child in the picture already (wants a better life and more opportunity for him/her). Are you folks saying that it's possible there are some that are willing to relocate, don't have a child, and genuinely don't want one? I never thought that a possiblity when it comes to FSUW.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Faux Pas on January 15, 2016, 08:05:00 AM
Okay, this needs clarification. I thought that all FSUW want to have at least one child, but some of the things written up thread suggest there might be some who don't. Is that right?

I ask because honestly I'd be more than okay without having a child. I don't have any now and honestly the thought of a newborn is not appealing to me. This is one of the reasons why I'm very open to marrying a lady with a child already.

Also, I just don't see a woman leaving her family, friends, and everything she knows and is comfortable with if there isn't a child in the picture already (wants a better life and more opportunity for him/her). Are you folks saying that it's possible there are some that are willing to relocate, don't have a child, and genuinely don't want one? I never thought that a possiblity when it comes to FSUW.

IMHO, this type of general stereo typing will only hinder your chances of success. Free your mind of that "in the box" thinking. I've heard that hundreds or even thousands of times on the boards. It's bullshit. Yes, FSUW generally have a different outlook towards having a child but no. All FSUW do not think alike, nor want alike. They are not alike just as their Western sisters are not alike. They are women just like women the world over. Some want babies, some want a few and some want many yet some do not want any.

Some like red, some like black, some like blue. The culture is somewhat different toward having children and beating the biological clock but how they react to it is as different as woman you've known everywhere else.

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: GuppyCaptain on January 15, 2016, 09:39:12 AM
IMHO, this type of general stereo typing will only hinder your chances of success. Free your mind of that "in the box" thinking. I've heard that hundreds or even thousands of times on the boards. It's bullshit. Yes, FSUW generally have a different outlook towards having a child but no. All FSUW do not think alike, nor want alike. They are not alike just as their Western sisters are not alike. They are women just like women the world over. Some want babies, some want a few and some want many yet some do not want any.

Some like red, some like black, some like blue. The culture is somewhat different toward having children and beating the biological clock but how they react to it is as different as woman you've known everywhere else.

Thanks. Good advice and I'll try to take it into consideration.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: ML on January 15, 2016, 09:43:27 AM
Yes, don't think they are totally alike.

But still, best to go with the odds.

The odds say that most women will want to have a baby at some point, even as they express the desire not to earlier in their life.

The odds also say that FSUW will be somewhat more desiring of having a baby at some point, compared to WW, even as she also expresses desire not to.

If you really don't want a child, then post that you only want responses from women who have a certificate of sterility.  That should go over big.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: GuppyCaptain on January 15, 2016, 09:48:15 AM
Yes, don't think they are totally alike.

But still, best to go with the odds.

The odds say that most women will want to have a baby at some point, even as they express the desire not to earlier in their life.

The odds also say that FSUW will be somewhat more desiring of having a baby at some point, compared to WW, even as she also expresses desire not to.

If you really don't want a child, then post that you only want responses from women who have a certificate of sterility.  That should go over big.

 :ROFL:  It's not that I don't want a child. I'm very accepting of women with a child. And for the record it's also not a health issue where I can't physically have one. I do appreciate your advice ML. I think I'll pass on the Certificate of Sterility Part. Spasibo.

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Faux Pas on January 15, 2016, 10:01:04 AM
Yes, don't think they are totally alike.

But still, best to go with the odds.

The odds say that most women will want to have a baby at some point, even as they express the desire not to earlier in their life.

The odds also say that FSUW will be somewhat more desiring of having a baby at some point, compared to WW, even as she also expresses desire not to.

If you really don't want a child, then post that you only want responses from women who have a certificate of sterility.  That should go over big.

It's a hodgepodge. Probably true up to a point. What I've seen from the women in my life intimately and other wise but mostly observation 18-24 year old women all seem to want children. Then as the age progresses and the clock is winding down, it either accelerates or declines from 24. I've known many women that previously wanted children that reached later 20's without them and then decided not to and women hit their 30's without and got on a fast track to make it happen.

Just more reason to stay away from the stereo typing. I've never known what women were thinking. Anyone who says they do know are lying or are delusional. Those believing they know what they want are even more so.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Slumba on January 15, 2016, 10:04:58 AM
:ROFL:  It's not that I don't want a child. I'm very accepting of women with a child. And for the record it's also not a health issue where I can't physically have one. I do appreciate your advice ML. I think I'll pass on the Certificate of Sterility Part. Spasibo.

If you are accepting of a woman with a child, then I think you can have the best of both worlds.

1. She already has a child, so she may be OK with having only one.

2. In the event that you decide to have another, she has proven that she can get pregnant already. There is some evidence that suggests that women who have had a kid before 30, can either get pregnant more easily, or be fertile for a longer number of years, after 30.

As well, women with an existing child are not as highly sought after; so you will find them more open to you, I think.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Faux Pas on January 15, 2016, 10:32:18 AM
:ROFL:  It's not that I don't want a child. I'm very accepting of women with a child. And for the record it's also not a health issue where I can't physically have one. I do appreciate your advice ML. I think I'll pass on the Certificate of Sterility Part. Spasibo.

Sounds like you're open to possibilities, which is good. I haven't been on the soap box in quite a while but there are many threads here where I've preached to "find the woman" that you are looking for. Then, if she has children, doesn't want children, has and want's more, all of those things either get melded into the relationship or kill the relationship.

Find the woman, date her, build a relationship and if love develops, all of other requirements/logistics/baggage will take care it themselves. Somethings you think important to you now, will look completely different when you are on the inside of a loving relationship looking out. Knowwhaddameen? You know what you want "now" but with the right woman those things have a way of changing and you probably won't even see it coming.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: GuppyCaptain on January 15, 2016, 10:38:50 AM
Yeah, I know what you mean. Been there before. I know that sometimes I just worry too much about the details. Yeah, I'm open to possibilities. I just don't think being a Dad to a newborn in my mid 40s is one of them (I'm 41 now).
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Faux Pas on January 15, 2016, 10:49:54 AM
Yeah, I know what you mean. Been there before. I know that sometimes I just worry too much about the details. Yeah, I'm open to possibilities. I just don't think being a Dad to a newborn in my mid 40s is one of them (I'm 41 now).

Understandable. You wouldn't be doing the newborn any favors, either.

I was 43-44 and an empty nester when I started traveling East. I had already raised 2 as a single dad and put them through college. Not only was I not looking for a newborn I wasn't looking to raise more children but, I wouldn't have discounted the idea. The thing to keep in mind is the age group of the women you are dating. Personally I did want a woman at the same stage in life that I was at so, I dated those closer to my age. If you are dating younger women the idea of children or more children will likely arise with every single one. The older the age the less likely but probably never completely.

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Faux Pas on January 15, 2016, 10:53:02 AM
We've had some real doozies through RWD over the years. I remember some, one in particular that it didn't really matter much about the woman, it mattered more that she "did" have a child and it be a girl. His claim was that he wanted her to have one the same age as his so they would have someone to play with. I thought that was way too creepy on so many levels. He was very serious
Title: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: 2tallbill on January 15, 2016, 12:20:23 PM
I will echo what Cal posted upthread. The only FSUW women without children in that age range have had female issues and are unable to.

In most of the world the sperm count for men has gone gone dramatically recently as well. In Russia it is even more of an issue than elsewhere.


Many FSUW have used abortion over many years as a form of birth control. I've
talked to FSUW who've had 4 abortions.

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on January 16, 2016, 10:30:26 PM
I would like to have children and I would like to find a partner who really wants children. I am  searching on Elena's for ladies who want to have children.   A lot of the ladies that come up are 30 to 35,



Are women ages 30-35 what you're targeting to bear your children? I wouldn't go much older. The older the women are when having kids, the greater the chances are for birth defects, especially mental defects.


Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: alex330 on January 16, 2016, 11:02:36 PM
Many FSUW have used abortion over many years as a form of birth control. I've
talked to FSUW who've had 4 abortions.

I was speaking of the women in my wife's circles that we know. Like you mention I have heard statistics that the abortion rate in the FSU was quite high, but it is not something I am familiar with or that has been personally shared with me.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: treadmilldude on March 19, 2016, 10:21:12 AM
This is a very interesting thread, and personally, a very important thread to me as I have exactly the same questions and confusions that the OP and Guppycaptain have. I have definitely found that on Mamba, women between 28-33 who do not have children are way way more popular with the men (since on Mamba, 98-99%% of the men are Slavic and only maybe 1-2% or less are Western men, and I just do not think that young Slavic Men whose pictures show them smoking cigarettes, chugging beers and vodka, and looking extremely immature, stupid and mentally challenged, have Children as their #1 concern in life, the way many Western Men, such as myself, do) than women who do have children. I base this assertion of popularity by looking at the bottom of the women's profiles, where it clearly says "Visits this Month" and then it displays the exact number of times a girl's profile has been looked at by the men on Mamba....women with Children between the age of 28-33 are still popular, but typically have about only 1/4 to 1/3 as many page views as women without Children...hence my hypothesis that most men on Mamba are 1) Slavic 2) looking for a good lay 3) do not want a woman with Children as a Child might get in the way of them receiving a good lay.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: treadmilldude on March 19, 2016, 10:30:09 AM
Guppycaptain, I know you said you are traveling to Kharkiv this weekend and are going to use Michael Mordinson's agency a second time while there in Kharkiv. Are you in Kharkiv yet, or are you flying over the Atlantic right now as I type this? I am excited for you big guy, I am very excited for you. I wish it was me, and not you, who was about ready to arrive at Kharkiv International Airport and meet Michael Mordinson there, with a full week of meeting some very nice, kind, friendly, loving, caring young Kharkiv women from the Mordinson agency all lined up.  :)

Guppy, I am thinking about you buddy and praying for your success. I really hope you meet a woman who is the most sweet, kind, caring, loving young woman you have ever met in your life....and there is fantastic chemistry between the two of you, such that you have so much fun with her the entire time you two are together. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers you big, handsome American stud!! Overwhelm those women with your studliness and good looks!!  :)
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: vwrw on March 20, 2016, 06:13:43 AM
I am  searching on Elena's for ladies who want to have children.   A lot of the ladies that come up are 30 to 35, divorced with no children which seems a little odd, if they wanted children and could get pregnant then why didn't they when they first got married?

OK, I  know it is hard to generalise but could someone explain the most likely explanation as to why?



Many young women have kids without consideration whether they can be good mothers at this particular time or whether they have necessary resources. Other women not only want to have children, they also want to be good mothers. Therefore, these women postpone having kids until proper circumstances are in place .


It would be odd if the women wanting kids still would be married and did not have kind by 35. However, the fact that they got divorced indicates that their marriages were problematic. Why to complicate the situation even more by adding kids to it?

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: vwrw on March 20, 2016, 06:14:38 AM
Farmer Al,  you do not have to ask the question.  The woman who wants to have a baby will raise the subject and she will be as obvious as Marisa Tomei: 

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=My+Biological+Clock+Is+Ticking&view=detail&&mid=6A3F097B18EFDB79921F6A3F097B18EFDB79921F (http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=My+Biological+Clock+Is+Ticking&view=detail&&mid=6A3F097B18EFDB79921F6A3F097B18EFDB79921F)


So true!
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: GuppyCaptain on March 20, 2016, 04:49:18 PM
Guppycaptain, I know you said you are traveling to Kharkiv this weekend and are going to use Michael Mordinson's agency a second time while there in Kharkiv. Are you in Kharkiv yet, or are you flying over the Atlantic right now as I type this? I am excited for you big guy, I am very excited for you. I wish it was me, and not you, who was about ready to arrive at Kharkiv International Airport and meet Michael Mordinson there, with a full week of meeting some very nice, kind, friendly, loving, caring young Kharkiv women from the Mordinson agency all lined up.  :)
.
Guppy, I am thinking about you buddy and praying for your success. I really hope you meet a woman who is the most sweet, kind, caring, loving young woman you have ever met in your life....and there is fantastic chemistry between the two of you, such that you have so much fun with her the entire time you two are together. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers you big, handsome American stud!! Overwhelm those women with your studliness and good looks!!  :)

Thanks Tread. Careful. If you keep talking dirty to me like that I might just look you up if things don't work out with any of the ladies here in Ukraine.  ;D

To answer your question, I arrived in Kharkiv late Saturday night so today was Day 1. I had a busy day today to say the least as Michael lined up four dates spaced three hours apart. The first two spoke good English while the second two required him to be there to translate.

I gotta tell you, just like last time the most difficult part of this is going to be telling some of them that I've decided to focus on someone in particular (assuming that ends up being the case). It's an absolute pleasure to be in the company of these women. Of course this needs to be prefaced with acknowledging that everyone is on their best behavior on first dates, but it's simply so enjoyable to spend time with them. I literally didn't want any of today's dates to end. I guess that's what happens when you're seated at a table with someone who is feminine, beautiful, down to earth, classy, and most importantly doesn't have the "My you know what doesn't stink" crap attitude that we're so used to dealing with back in the States.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmobyone on March 26, 2016, 07:40:40 AM
It's an absolute pleasure to be in the company of these women. ... I literally didn't want any of today's dates to end. .


Good to hear..

The OP's question is a real hot potato ... my fiancée knew from the start that I was not able to have more kids  - I elected to have the snip aged 41 - having had two daughters ..and I never intended to have more.

SC had had a kid, but he died at birth and he'd be 30, years old , now..

Suddenly, she says she been reading up  and  it is possible for us to conceive  :o

She has never married and I had never thought of being a dad, again .... Never say never... you just can't tell what will happen in life .. :D

 
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: fathertime on March 26, 2016, 08:00:31 AM

Good to hear..

The OP's question is a real hot potato ... my fiancée knew from the start that I was not able to have more kids  - I elected to have the snip aged 41 - having had two daughters ..and I never intended to have more.

SC had had a kid, but he died at birth and he'd be 30, years old , now..

Suddenly, she says she been reading up  and  it is possible for us to conceive  :o

She has never married and I had never thought of being a dad, again .... Never say never... you just can't tell what will happen in life .. :D


Possible yes....but no probable, at least not in 2016.  If your lady has any eggs left, and you unsnip yourself, maybe you can find a 'carrier' to carry a child.  When I was in Home Depot last year I was speaking to a black young lady who was 9 months pregnant.  She was carrying the child for a wealthy single Chinese man, who choose to use an egg some lady got paid to donate.  I can't recall for sure how much the black lady was getting for carrying the child, but I am certain it was 50k or less. 


Fathertime!


Fathertime! 
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: zabi on July 17, 2016, 01:23:34 AM
Hello Ladies i am zabi from India . If any women intereated to have children i am readh for it .
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmobyone on July 17, 2016, 07:03:59 AM

Are women ages 30-35 what you're targeting to bear your children? I wouldn't go much older. The older the women are when having kids, the greater the chances are for birth defects, especially mental defects.

BillyB

Now, you're an 'expert' in this field.. :D ? I've just left the company of someone who is... We were discussing SC's odds... VERY late 40's



Sure the risks are greater - but there's plenty of women having kids -in the west - who are older than 36..



 
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Faux Pas on July 17, 2016, 08:01:38 AM
Hello Ladies i am zabi from India . If any women intereated to have children i am readh for it .

What a "stand-up" guy you are zabi. Sacrificing yourself  :clapping:
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on July 17, 2016, 08:43:42 AM
If any women intereated to have children i am readh for it .


Ready to bang. I like your style.

Now, you're an 'expert' in this field.. :D ? I've just left the company of someone who is... We were discussing SC's odds... VERY late 40's

Sure the risks are greater - but there's plenty of women having kids -in the west - who are older than 36..


Why would your wife want a baby when she just married one? Seriously though, odds for a woman in her late 40's having a mentally disabled child skyrockets. In the link below, women 45 years old have a 1 out of 30 chance their baby will have down syndrome. Risks for other mental defects are increased too. Consider the facts and if you can live the rest of your life taking care of a child with mental defects before deciding on a baby.

http://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/down-syndrome.aspx
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: ML on July 17, 2016, 08:44:03 PM
BillyB

Now, you're an 'expert' in this field.. :D ? I've just left the company of someone who is... We were discussing SC's odds... VERY late 40's

Sure the risks are greater - but there's plenty of women having kids -in the west - who are older than 36..

Billy didn't say older women weren't having babies.
He said the risk was higher.

And you are agreeing with him.

One doesn't have to be an 'expert' to read a little and see the risks.

Adopt.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Boethius on July 17, 2016, 08:57:31 PM
Those risks also exist for older fathers.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on July 17, 2016, 09:49:24 PM
Those risks also exist for older fathers.

I think msmobyone is older than dirt but the increases in birth defects he'll contribute is nowhere near what an older woman contributes. In the link below, a baby born with autism is 66% more likely with a father over 50. A woman 45 yo has over a 4000% greater chance on giving her child down syndrome over a woman in her young 20's.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3116727/Who-likely-child-autism-Teenage-mothers-older-parents-couples-large-age-gaps-landmark-study-reveals.html
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmobyone on July 18, 2016, 02:33:04 AM


Why would your wife want a baby when she just married one? Seriously though..

BillyB, let's not 'go there' .. seriously ... as I prefer my partner to have been attending school when I was ...


odds for a woman in her late 40's having a mentally disabled child skyrockets. In the link below, women 45 years old have a 1 out of 30 chance their baby will have down syndrome. Risks for other mental defects are increased too. Consider the facts and if you can live the rest of your life taking care of a child with mental defects before deciding on a baby.

http://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/down-syndrome.aspx

Thanks, but I took issue with your 'cut-off point' - over 35 ...

Be a good chap and respond to the point..I made about the large numbers of professional women have kids late without issue
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on July 18, 2016, 08:49:26 AM
Be a good chap and respond to the point..I made about the large numbers of professional women have kids late without issue


Many professional women gave up their best child bearing days for a career. You want to point out many older ladies had healthy babies as motivation for you and your wife to have one. That is fine but what you should be concerned about are the risks that exponentially increase the older she gets.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: ML on July 18, 2016, 09:10:57 AM
Be a good chap and respond to the point..I made about the large numbers of professional women have kids late without issue

You know better than this.

It is not appropriate to look at the raw numbers.

Percentages are the relevant figures.

e.g.  It would serve no purpose to say: WOW . . . 10,000 older women gave birth without issue.  When at the same time 6,000 older women gave birth where some defects were involved.

Yes, I am exaggerating for effect . . . but the point remains.  Look at percentages, not raw numbers.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmobyone on July 19, 2016, 05:10:34 AM
Many professional women gave up their best child bearing days for a career. You want to point out many older ladies had healthy babies as motivation for you and your wife to have one. That is fine but what you should be concerned about are the risks that exponentially increase the older she gets.

Sighs

More proof BillyB just doesn't read before responding

1/ YOU - yes YOU mentioned 36 and beyond... This age range has increased risk - but many healthy sprogs are born to this age group - increasingly so...

2/ I totally agree having a child in the late 40's carries substantially higher risks..
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: ultramarina1980 on January 11, 2017, 09:55:34 AM
I new here. Like practice my English and answer your question. I'm 36 and I want children, only after marriag and with money in the family. In Russia, it is hard to raise a child alone. Bye!
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Gator on January 11, 2017, 10:42:33 AM
I new here. Like practice my English and answer your question. I'm 36 and I want children, only after marriag and with money in the family. In Russia, it is hard to raise a child alone. Bye!

Marina  :welcome:

You are a wise woman.  Family with children has been my greatest source of joy in life.

I imagine your requirements also includes loving your man besides marriage and money.   :D (this is a joke).

You have time to find all three.   I wish you happiness. 

Please come back to RWD and practice your English.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on January 11, 2017, 03:06:51 PM
Bye!

Why "Bye"? Don't love us and leave us like all the other women did. Stay!

I new here. Like practice my English...


We have plenty of men here who will help you practice English. :D
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Brianinaz on February 04, 2017, 09:56:12 AM
Yeah, I know what you mean. Been there before. I know that sometimes I just worry too much about the details. Yeah, I'm open to possibilities. I just don't think being a Dad to a newborn in my mid 40s is one of them (I'm 41 now).

For sure that's a personal decision. I was 37 when I had my first child and my 4th was born when I was 45. I was 53 when I got remarried to my wife who was 35 at the time. She had a daughter who was 6 at the time and I have subsequently adopted her. We talked about having another child together but time kind of slipped by. The point being for a guy having a child in your forties and early fifties is reasonable if that's what you really want. Life expectance is increasing and people are working longer. A person who is forty now and has a good career will likely work into their early 70's and live well into their 80's. That's plenty of time to raise a child and see them well into adulthood before you move on.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: SANDRO43 on February 04, 2017, 12:42:37 PM
Why "Bye"? Don't love us and leave us like all the other women did. Stay! We have plenty of men here who will help you practice English. :D
Billy, Ultramarina1980 was no woman but an impersonation of Papakota's, and he/she didn't really need to practice English further :D.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on February 04, 2017, 07:47:39 PM
Billy, Ultramarina1980 was no woman but an impersonation of Papakota's, and he/she didn't really need to practice English further :D.

I wonder how many men here wrote Marina a PM trying to flirt with her?
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Avis on June 20, 2018, 08:41:36 AM
I would like to have children and I would like to find a partner who really wants children. I am  searching on Elena's for ladies who want to have children.   A lot of the ladies that come up are 30 to 35, divorced with no children which seems a little odd, if they wanted children and could get pregnant then why didn't they when they first got married?

OK, I  know it is hard to generalise but could someone explain the most likely explanation as to why?

I am selfish,obviously,but I  want to be sure of finding someone who really does want children not someone just saying that to cast their own net wider.


Ok I know it's an old one, but it is my life story.
Got married to a russian dude, got divorced, thank God didnt have kids together, it would simply make things so much more difficult.
Doesn't mean anything except something didn't work out.
I am happily married to another guy now (6 years, 9 years together), 2 kids ;) Would have more if we had bags of cash!

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: 2tallbill on June 20, 2018, 09:33:11 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX15un8nf3o
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Boethius on June 20, 2018, 09:38:44 AM
I am happily married to another guy now (6 years, 9 years together), 2 kids ;) Would have more if we had bags of cash!


Congratulations, Avis.  Great to know you are doing well.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: 2tallbill on June 20, 2018, 09:46:40 AM

Congratulations, Avis.  Great to know you are doing well.

+1

Congratulations Avis!
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Avis on June 20, 2018, 10:04:05 AM
Thanks guys :)



Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmob on June 20, 2018, 01:46:35 PM
Great to hear
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: AlyonaN on August 28, 2018, 05:06:39 AM
Most of Ukrainian ladies want to have children, if they don't already have. ;) I met only a few ladies who were so much preoccupied with the beauty of their body that were not ready to become a mother.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on August 28, 2018, 08:27:23 AM
Most of Ukrainian ladies want to have children, if they don't already have. ;) I met only a few ladies who were so much preoccupied with the beauty of their body that were not ready to become a mother.

Some ladies having a baby will insist on a cesarean section instead of nature birth so their hips don't widen. They can have their baby and maintain a slim figure.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: ML on August 28, 2018, 08:40:24 AM
Some ladies having a baby will insist on a cesarean section instead of nature birth so their hips don't widen. They can have their baby and maintain a slim figure.

Something doesn't compute here.

I thought it was the pregnancy that caused hips to widen . . . not the final act of passing through birth canal.

Vagina might be kept more narrow and tight with cesarean as compared to vaginal birth; but I am not even sure about that, as it has amazing elasticity and re-contraction ability.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on August 28, 2018, 08:51:43 AM
Something doesn't compute here.

I thought it was the pregnancy that caused hips to widen . . . not the final act of passing through birth canal.

Vagina might be kept more narrow and tight with cesarean as compared to vaginal birth; but I am not even sure about that, as it has amazing elasticity and re-contraction ability.

Google "do hips widen during labor" and there's some interesting info about it. Women release a hormone during labor that relaxes pelvic joints and ligaments to widen the canal for the baby to pass through.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: Boethius on August 28, 2018, 08:56:29 AM
Something doesn't compute here.

I thought it was the pregnancy that caused hips to widen . . . not the final act of passing through birth canal.


You are correct, in a way.  Ligaments stretch and loosen during pregnancy.  That causes hips to widen.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BdHvA on August 28, 2018, 11:01:59 PM
Some ladies having a baby will insist on a cesarean section instead of nature birth so their hips don't widen. They can have their baby and maintain a slim figure.

Elective cesarean deliveries are popular in some nations, such as Turkey amongst the upper class. But as a woman she is undergoing major surgery, there are risks to her as well as her infant.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmob on August 28, 2018, 11:50:48 PM
My partner had a son at 18

My ex-wife had a son at 20

Both retain coltish figures..

I have a good friend who is a retired obstetrician and gynaecologist...will ask him about this...'hip-widening'  ..interesting

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: ML on August 29, 2018, 08:36:17 AM
Google "do hips widen during labor" and there's some interesting info about it. Women release a hormone during labor that relaxes pelvic joints and ligaments to widen the canal for the baby to pass through.

Yes, that is all temporary for the time during labor, then all goes back to as before.
But as Boe says, during the actual pregnancy, some more permanent changes occur.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: BillyB on August 29, 2018, 09:24:29 AM
Yes, that is all temporary for the time during labor, then all goes back to as before.


No doctor will guarantee a woman's hip's will go back to where they were the day before labor. Some women get wider with every kid. Some remain skinny after many kids. Article below second paragraph mentions labor can permanently widen hips.

http://www.upspringbaby.com/blog-postpartum-hip-changes

Sometime facts don't matter. A large group of people in the FSU believe air conditioning in the house or car and ice in drinks can make you sick and it affects their behavior. Women will do many things to maintain their beauty even if it doesn't work. The pursuit to look young is a multi billion dollar industry.
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmob on August 29, 2018, 10:40:29 PM
From the horses mouth....'hips getting bigger in pregnancy'='old wives tale'

1/ the bone that 'stretches'... is the one at the front to allow passage of the child down the birth canal. Public something or other..

2/ IF the hips are wider...it is extra fat deposit.


End of. 

Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: MarinaSirena on September 01, 2018, 10:48:24 PM
I think that every story has different explanation... But... The most of Ucraine or Russian women really want to have children.Its very important part of every woman there. Its about menthality. And self-fullfeelment. There are not lot of childfree-women .So it is unlikely that someone lies to you. If woman says that she wants to become a mother 99% its truth) The question was why she had no children in her last marrige ? I just try to guess..
1)some medical reasons, problems with her or her ex*s health
2) hmm...I dont know how to explain corractly but i will try my best. :D The reason is *spontaneous necessary marriage*)) For many girls here its too important to have a marriage, status of * real wife* . So i know many examples when woman got married with someone just because of *the time* or *we ve been dated long time* or *sociaty or enviroment (friends, parents, obsessions in her mind)*. So On that step of her life she wanted a marriage! not Man first of all. For many girls its not enough to be a gf. So they started to live together and..she realised that to be a wife its not as important as she expected and she is not ready to have a child with that man.
3)Things happen
Title: Re: Ladies who are divorced but no children, would they actually want children.
Post by: msmob on September 02, 2018, 03:30:31 AM
Public something or other..



PUBIC ... of course 

Duh on me