Finding a Russian woman for rural living

[PARADOJAS]

Ahhhh...that's me letting out a breathe of air. Really good discussion going on which is exactly what I hoped for. A little more background on my situation. The thing about living in VT is you can be very rural without being remote. The state lies in a triangle between NYC, Boston and Montreal. Also there is Burlington, home to UVM and a fair-size Russian emigree population. Even in Burlington, you can be out in a wilderness setting in 20 minutes as VT is the most rural of the 50 states (rural being defined as the percentage of population living in the country as opposed to the city). I am currently at my son's in Rutland, VT's fourth largest city, and the population here is under 17,000. A big town here is one that is over 5,000.

As to living off grid: solar panels, wind turbine, outdoor wood furnace, heated greenhouses, propane and gas generator backups, lots of gardens, apple trees, berry bushes, plenty of mushrooms in nearby woods, and yes, lots of sunflowers for seed lovers, all on a dirt road with neighbors--you just can't see their houses. Definitely dacha-style living, but with a bit more creature comforts perhaps.

More later, the dinner bell just rang...

[GoodOlBoy]

Not sure if I want to do farming.

GOB

[Doll]

Ok, my opinion on OP: I don't know any difference (in this regard) between AW and RW.
What exactly is the man "fed up" with? What American women did not  like about it is what RW won't like.

 

[Doll]

GOB

[Doll]

As to living off grid: solar panels, wind turbine, outdoor wood furnace, heated greenhouses, propane and gas generator backups, lots of gardens, apple trees, berry bushes, plenty of mushrooms in nearby woods, and yes, lots of sunflowers for seed lovers, all on a dirt road with neighbors--you just can't see their houses. Definitely dacha-style living, but with a bit more creature comforts perhaps.

More later, the dinner bell just rang...

I have all this minus farming.

[Doll]

Just kidding. Outdoor furnace was my husband's dream- didn't work with me 
Right now we are placing it in the house as decor. 
He is thinking of a green house but "sure honey, but you are the one who will work there" 
(he won't))))).

 Our jobs have nothing to do with "rural style", we do have the garden but just because I love gardening (30 min after work  ).

[PARADOJAS]

Okay, back from dinner...

ECOCKS or anyone else--what is EM? Is that a Russian women site?

Doll: a 9-5 structured lifestyle is someone who needs to go to work everyday for 8 hours. They work at the same job, maybe get 2-4 weeks off a year and their time is mostly structured, ie, predetermined.

As to the issue of being "fed up" with American women. Okay, I'm speaking in generalizations here:

Most of the women I've met over the last decade have been on dating sites. These women, with just a few exceptions, have either misrepresented themselves with old photos, have fibbed as to their level of physical fitness (describing themselves as average weight or athletic body type, when in fact they are from 20-40 pounds overweight), don't know what they want, are neurotic to the point of making Woody Allen look serene, want a guy who makes at least a 100 grand a year, or are into the material world to such an extent that when the sh*t hits the fan and they figure out food doesn't grow in Safeway, they'll latch on to whomever can put food into their mouths. Again, this is a generalization. I've also met some great women. Unfortunately, their lifestyles don't match mind, ie, "9-5 structured lifestyle."

[Doll]

figure out food doesn't grow in Safeway

Of course not- it grows at Redner's market
http://www.rednersmarkets.com/index.php
(I shop here))))))

[Doll]

PARADOJAS, you can find the woman you want , but you need to really disclose  your lifestyle. She needs to know what to expect. "Dacha" is not really what you think and farming is not "dacha".

[planner]

Paradojas I'm familiar with your living situation and looking for a woman who will appreciate, or tolerate until she learns to appreciate, living in a non-city location.  One thing that resonated with me in the replies was Jooky mentioning it only takes one.  The reason this is important to remember is it's a tough sell when presenting yourself as an option for a Russian woman to choose.  I think you will need to work hard on describing your situation accurately and how a woman would fit into routines there.  Location, interactions with others, shopping, mobility, contact with people she will be leaving behind, education options for children.  They will have many things to consider that may be 'new' to them, they don't know how to relate to 'remote' in our context.  Deep villages, to them, are HELL!  To us they are desirable.  It's not much effort to drive to a city for city things.  It's the living part of being remote that you will need to be clear about, for them.  They will also be removed from lots of other people and will want to know what your like personally (as they will be trapped in the woods with you) and why the heck are you are living out in the forest and not a city.

The search is a difficult one.  The agencies and websites are geared to where most of the people are living and want to live, in a city.  If you choose a specific area in Russia/fsu you may find an agency you can pay a little more to for specialized services, such as advertising in a newspaper and offering translation services/internet interface for rural women.  You may find someone from a city who likes the 'country' and grew up there.  Some of the other members have good options as some women are tired of cities and would adapt well to living in a deep village or worse.  You do have a nearby town, right?  You don't run around in camo gear do you?  You have satellite TV and internet and all that good stuff, right?  Don't tell them you have goats, even if you do.  

I know several Russian/Ukrainian women who have lived in small towns here and they don't like them.  They will tolerate one that's 80,000+.

Our daughter started school this fall and a year ago we bought a short sale home and have been fixing it up in a larger town.  It's 80,000+ population.  My wife still likes the small town and we switch off on where we spend weekends as my work is still in a small resort town in the mountains.  The small town house only has wood heat.  She really likes this.  Also have good trout fishing 3 blocks away in a lake which she loves, I can take it or leave it as I'm from near the coast where real fish live in the rivers/ocean.

Even with living in a small town we frequently go to the City, Portland, Salem, the coast, business trips, etc.  Maybe you can develop a series of fairly standard letters that point out these things to her/them and your situation.  The first letter will be key in setting the choice for them to decide if they want to know more.  

Hope you find a good one.  Or at the least get a few bites.  Your going to have to do some sorting out in the responses and clearing up misconceptions about your lifestyle when they occur.  Good luck with sorting through the process and finding what your looking for, or something tolerably close.

[Doll]

Don't tell them you have goats, even if you do. 

[ECOCKS]

Okay, back from dinner...

ECOCKS or anyone else--what is EM? Is that a Russian women site?

Doll: a 9-5 structured lifestyle is someone who needs to go to work everyday for 8 hours. They work at the same job, maybe get 2-4 weeks off a year and their time is mostly structured, ie, predetermined.

As to the issue of being "fed up" with American women. Okay, I'm speaking in generalizations here:

Most of the women I've met over the last decade have been on dating sites. These women, with just a few exceptions, have either misrepresented themselves with old photos, have fibbed as to their level of physical fitness (describing themselves as average weight or athletic body type, when in fact they are from 20-40 pounds overweight), don't know what they want, are neurotic to the point of making Woody Allen look serene, want a guy who makes at least a 100 grand a year, or are into the material world to such an extent that when the sh*t hits the fan and they figure out food doesn't grow in Safeway, they'll latch on to whomever can put food into their mouths. Again, this is a generalization. I've also met some great women. Unfortunately, their lifestyles don't match mind, ie, "9-5 structured lifestyle."

EM is Elena's Models. Overkill your profile emphasizing the lifestyle you live in and don't let them tell you that they understand. MAKE them talk it out repeatedly to avoid misunderstanding and false expectations.

[erudite]

FWIW...........When I was searching for a lady from the FSU, I contacted quite a number of them in writing, by phone, translator and in person.  Whenever any of them, I mean all of them, learned that my family had a farm outside of town, they immediately wanted to know the following:

A. Do you live there on the farm
B. Do you grow crops there and work the soil
C. Are you a farmer also

Once they found out this farm is rented and only used by my family for "being in nature", they were all appropriately relieved I think.   None of them had romantic notions about rural or farm living as a Western person would have. It is an entirely different concept in FSU countries associated with hard living, hard work, backwardness, not desireable to live in such places.  Many of the women live in cities and plant vegetable gardens on family plots or farms during the growing season. They return to harvest these vegetables.  It is tradition in thier society, families and also a necessity in many cases.  I had one woman tell me that she hoped that once she found her husband that she would never have to dig potatoes again in her lifetime.  I told her we buy them in the store.

[Doll]

I had one woman tell me that she hoped that once she found her husband that she would never have to dig potatoes again in her lifetime.   

I understand her.

[I/O]

Not sure why I keep having visions of Jed Clampett....................... Why did the first FSU woman relationship implode?

[Maxx2]

Maybe a woman from Peru or Ecuador would suit you better.

[chivo]

Maybe a good interpreter/translator would be a good idea initially to help you explain things to any prospective partner and help you with your profile.

Not sure why I keep having visions of Jed Clampett....................... Why did the first FSU woman relationship implode?

Problem solved then, they'll probably end up in Beverly Hills

[Doll]

Maybe a woman from Peru or Ecuador would suit you better.

I think so.

[Turboguy]

Humm,  It seems to me that many RW enjoy their time at the dacha many also love growing veggies and the like.  Maybe it is just finding the right one.

All RW seem to like things natural.   They want their coats made from natural mink or silver fox and those $ 400.00 pointy shoes made or natural leather not that synthetic stuff.   They want real natural food not the chemical concocted stuff we eat.  They even like it if a guys hair and teeth are natural and not the kind you take off our out.

Actually I think out there somewhere in the FSU are a number of women who would love that.  They are probably in the minority, maybe a small minority but if you search hard and long you will find her.

[Doll]

Humm,  It seems to me that many RW enjoy their time at the dacha many also love growing veggies and the like.  Maybe it is just finding the right one.

All RW seem to like things natural.   They want their coats made from natural mink or silver fox and those $ 400.00 pointy shoes made or natural leather not that synthetic stuff.   They want real natural food not the chemical concocted stuff we eat.  They even like it if a guys hair and teeth are natural and not the kind you take off our out.

 

It has nothing to do with farming.
Like I said, I do enjoy gardening.... for half an hours when I am in a mood
They do work at dachas but before and after they live in the cities which is a different life style.

[Blues Fairy]

They do work at dachas but before and after they live in the cities which is a different life style.

My aunt is one of such women; she has a day job in town (head of immunology lab) and a dacha to which she rushes off with the first rays of spring sun.  I guarantee you, if offered all amenities and independent income, she would happily relocate to a "farm" and forget all about her stressful job and commute. 

[Doll]

My aunt is one of such women; she has a day job in town (head of immunology lab) and a dacha to which she rushes off with the first rays of spring sun.  I guarantee you, if offered all amenities and independent income, she would happily relocate to a "farm" and forget all about her stressful job and commute. 

Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you.

[Blues Fairy]

Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you.

I have and I did, your condescending tone is not necessary.   My husband and I are actually searching for a decent farm lot and house in NC.  Land is always valuable; "they don't make any more of it".

[Doll]

Like I said, we live "in the woods" but it all depends of what we do (for living).

[Misha]

 

Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you.

How do they live? In Canada, farming is big business and most farmers who live solely off of farming run million dollar operations. Most farmers that I know drive the latest puck-up trucks, live in big houses and will also travel to Mexico for vacations. The smaller farms are generally "hobby" farms where someone has a job that actually pays the bills.