Trench's Questions and Philosophies

[msmob]

That's the thing Jumper the western world trains the woman up to do just that - get a job where she can afford expensive meals, but does she want to pay for one for the guy? Hell no, that would be him sponging off her right So she would be looking for a man of equivalent financial stature or near enough or greater. If she fails to get a well paying enough job despite well educated/working hard/connections or lack off then she could be looking for a guy with money/good job if she had been socialised that way. Most of the times though such guys not only desire chemistry but an attractive looking lady - good looks and a decent figure being the sign of a quality woman of course

The only thing I don't understand about our Trench is if he writes this for a rise or if he really believes such twaddle.

I know of at least 3 FSU W in the west, who now rely on themselves for income, but would still like to share their lives - and everything that goes with it -  for Mr Right...

[kynrazor]

A somewhat mercenary outlook ? ...   

Our Trench would say, "Why invest in her education for her to move on to a better guy" ( using my ex-to be as an 'example' ) and You'd respond, " another bus will come along, soon enough " ...   

 

Wow msmob that was on point. Very interesting perspective that I entirely missed!

It does make one wonder, how much of love in most relationships is actually, unconditional love.  Hmm 

[Trenchcoat]

Wow msmob that was on point. Very interesting perspective that I entirely missed!

It does make one wonder, how much of love in most relationships is actually, unconditional love.  Hmm 

Well I believe Billy has had children with his current wife so it's ok for her to then go to college. No way would I send a girl to collage before she had ar least a couple of kids loads of guys would be cracking onto her. Your at college Kyn I'm sure you can appreciate the razor sharp social skills some guys are all too confident at displaying. Sure some posters will no doubt set upon what I say here but my opinion is that it's a foolish move to make without something to tie her to you just asking for trouble.

[Boethius]

Well I believe Billy has had children with his current wife so it's ok for her to then go to college. No way would I send a girl to collage before she had ar least a couple of kids loads of guys would be cracking onto her. Your at college Kyn I'm sure you can appreciate the razor sharp social skills some guys are all too confident at displaying. Sure some posters will no doubt set upon what I say here but my opinion is that it's a foolish move to make without something to tie her to you just asking for trouble.

This post just buttresses pitbull's speculations about you, and my view that you are a misogynist.    You are not buying some pet from a store.  If you ever succeed in finding a woman willing to marry you, she will have her own views on whether she wants an education, or children, or neither, or both, and you have to respect those views.

Your post just again tells me you have no understanding of what normal human relationships entail.  You can't "trap" a woman with children.  Especially not an FSUW.  All your attitude will do is ensure that the woman you do marry is one who is marrying you for a passport, not because she has deep feelings for you.  What your "plan", as it is, will do, is ensure when she kicks you out, she will get your home and more than half your income.

You also evidently have no understanding of what it is like to have children and raise them, nor the stresses children can put on a relationship. 

Look for a woman who wants you.  Then an education is icing on the cake, as you have a woman who will have a sense of self worth, and will stay with you because she wants to.

Life is going to punish you in this endeavour.  Trust me on this.

Oh, and Billy does not have children with his current wife, but "lets" her go to college anyway.    I'm not one of Billy's fans, but I do respect him for fighting for access to his ex wife's older son.  Billy is not the biological father of that child, but he was the only father that child had known, and he went to court to ensure he had access to that child, who he rightly refers to as his son.  I doubt that is something you would do either.

[Fashionista]

Huh? Are you guys serious? Geez, the weird posts on this forum...    A friend of mine just divorced her husband, with 2 kids, got alimony, child support, an expensive car...Right after she graduated and got a job. She could have taken him to the cleaners but said she just wanted out. How's anything short of handcuffs in the basement can tie anyone to anyone?

[Jumper]

TC, Billy has children from a preious marriage, he doesn't have children with his current wife.She is going to college .
Your whole premise harkens to some barefoot and pregnant thinking.
Are you sure you were born in  this century?
That may have been popular in the late 1800's.
Welcome to 2018.

[wallm]

No way would I send a girl to collage before she had ar least a couple of kids loads of guys would be cracking onto her.

Women are not for you. Seriously. 

It is time you consider getting acquainted with the large LGBT community in London. Perhaps you will get lucky with a husband.

[BillyB]

Oh, and Billy does not have children with his current wife, but "lets" her go to college anyway.    I'm not one of Billy's fans, but I do respect him for fighting for access to his ex wife's older son.  Billy is not the biological father of that child, but he was the only father that child had known, and he went to court to ensure he had access to that child, who he rightly refers to as his son.  I doubt that is something you would do either.

Absolutely true except the part where you're not my fan. I know you love me Bo.

[ML]

How's anything short of handcuffs in the basement can tie anyone to anyone?

Actually there should only be one handcuff.  That goes on the wrist or ankle and is hooked to a chain of appropriate length which, in turn, is fastened to some sturdy object embedded in concrete floor.

Not that I actually know anything about this.

[Fashionista]

Actually there should only be one handcuff.  That goes on the wrist or ankle and is hooked to a chain of appropriate length which, in turn, is fastened to some sturdy object embedded in concrete floor.

Not that I actually know anything about this.

    Don't be shy 

[msmob]

It is time you consider getting acquainted with the large LGBT community in London. Perhaps you will get lucky with a husband.

1/ I guess it's as large as your neck of the woods - just society have moved out of the dark ages ....   I was a deluded supporter of Mrs T in this respect in the same way the Orthodox Church and VVP are now...))

2/ You think the LGBT don't have standards, too ?)

[2tallbill]

This post just buttresses pitbull's speculations about you, and my view that you are a misogynist.   

I disagree. I think that he lacks confidence in himself that he
could get any desirable woman to really love him. He fears that any
decent woman would be interested only in his possessions and would
leave him for greener pastures as soon as the opportunity presented
itself.

These fears and confidence issues affect his actions towards decent
women that he has yet to meet and he is (non-deliberately) pushing
away good candidates by his words and actions.

I have zero fear that if somebody younger, smarter, hotter, richer
and more talented than myself hit on Angel Eyes that she would
choose him over me.

The truth is if you find a good woman and win her heart you don't
have to worry about crap like that. I'm not an armchair psychologist,
I don't know what he needs to do to change his attitude or to gain
confidence in himself. In my opinion, he is doomed until he finds a
way.

[Boethius]

I disagree. I think that he lacks confidence in himself that he could get any desirable woman to really love him. He fears that any decent woman would be interested only in his possessions and would leave him for greener pastures as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

These fears and confidence issues affect his actions towards decent women that he has yet to meet and he is (non-deliberately) pushing away good candidates by his words and actions.  . .
 
I don't know what he needs to do to change his attitude or to gain confidence in himself. In my opinion, he is doomed until he finds a way.

No, I disagree.  This isn't about confidence.  It is about a general attitude toward women, displayed in over 1,000 posts.  If he truly lacked confidence, he wouldn't be looking abroad at all.


I agree he is doomed, though. 

[alex330]

No way would I send a girl to collage before she had ar least a couple of kids loads of guys would be cracking onto her.

Jesus dude, are you serious?

2/ You think the LGBT don't have standards, too ?)

LOL. Probably higher standards than us breeders. Wallm must have never been to a gay club.

[Trenchcoat]

Jesus dude, are you serious?

Yes, Alex Uni's are full of guys who the home market would deem 'quality men' if I sent a girl there who was younger than me and a say 9 or 10 direction in the looks department how long do you think it would be before she hooks up with one of these 'quality men'. Bearing in mind on the UK probably US & Australia to women at Uni will have the upper hand in choosing particularly hot women. It like the FSU dating scene in reverse for them, it's a paradise for them, now we all know how many FSU guys go chasing other women even after they are married. It's the same situation in reverse, now do I wish to be a fool and facilitate a girl that I made so much effort & expense with getting with another guy. All for my dumb choice of sending her to Uni, lol - not in your dreams!

As I see it if a girl when you meet says she wants a family that is what she has signed up to and is getting. Side tracking her onto education is not a good idea and will come back to bite you.

p.s this is not about me lacking confidence it's about me realising the situation as it is. I would see myself having 'some quality' as a man but I know I only really qualify as a 'quality man' in the FSU not in the UK. Now that is not easy for me to say or anything I can do much about. I am never going to have the social skills to count as a 'quality man' in the UK. It is why I am looking out in the FSU after all. If I could easily get a woman here I would. It is well known that many men that go looking for a woman in the FSU are not 'quality men' at least not by many western women and even some FSW if they are real bad on that front.

I know I need to be careful not to reck decent relationships over my fears by thsee fears affecting my relationship too much with a woman as 2tallbill states. But I will not be made a fool off or ignore reality by acting carelessly and/or being blinded by confidence/over confidence. Many a guy I believe has made this mistake.

[Boethius]

You are an idiot.

I have three degrees. I also have three children. I always wanted a family but life can throw a lot of things at you.

[Trenchcoat]

You are an idiot.

I have three degrees. I also have three children. I always wanted a family but life can throw a lot of things at you.

Yes but you are not strictly speaking a FSW  as you so often remind us you are Canadian and so already had the offerings of western society to hand. In any case many FSW have already done the uni thing. Some may want to be educated with a degree that would be recognised in their new country but I believe as said above that this is not a god idea at the very outset of a relationship.

[alex330]

If you think the only place your wife will be around men with more money, a diploma, better looks, a Ferrari, or xyzlmnop is a University you are not thinking straight.

Is you wife not going to work? Or have any friends?

Don't you want the very best for her?

[mhr7]

But I will not be made a fool off or ignore reality...

You've already made a huge fool of yourself and you can't ignore reality until you understand what it is.

[Boethius]

Immigrants tend to value education more than non immigrants. FSU society is far more status conscious than the West. Most young FSUW will want to work, and most will want careers.

[alex330]

Immigrants tend to value education more than non immigrants. FSU society is far more status conscious than the West. Most young FSUW will want to work, and most will want careers.

This ^^^^


She will resent you otherwise Trenchcoat.

[Jumper]

TC then don't marry until it isn't considered outset of  the relationship?

90% of what you often fear seems
generated in thinking a marriage isn't on solid relationship ground.

Never ever marry until it is!
Regardless all your other fears,
one thing you do need to be certain of ,before marriage, is thst you have a solid trusting relationship.
If you do(and anyone should before they propose) then none of this stuff is any big concern.
If you try to marry before a relationship is really formed and completely established,certainly all the things you fear are possible,  and even likely.
There are no shortcuts TC.

You have to win her heart.

You won't do that by thinking these type of thoughts.

Once her heart is won, and she has won yours(not just someone you like or want as a wife because she's attractive,  someone you absolutely adore)
you should not have these doubts and fears.

Anything can happen in relationships ,but you can't go into them holding back and qualifying your feelings for someone by some gauge .
At the moment you are too uptight with your concerns and over thinking,  to ever truly love anyone.
Relax, remember even truly poor folk find true love.

Also, frankly, relax your standards as well, if you can't confidently be an engageing charming chap that can hit on, and at least occasionally date a 9 or 10 locally, there is zero reason for you to even talk about marrying one from the FSU ,or worry about the *what ifs* after you do.

You may get a better person interested in you to start a family from the FSU than you can locally, and that should be your goal.
 That certainly does not mean they will be some university hottie thats a  9 on the attractive scale.
 
A large amount of your worries are akin to
me worrying where to park the lunar rover,so that it won't get stolen by rabid raccoons,
after I've become an astronaut and the US has restarted missions to the moon.


Spend your energies in getting acquainted with someone you really like, see where it leads.Thats quite difficult enough to start with.
Forget the  concerns over a future that can never happen if you dont get the first part established.

[Sting23]

I fear it's a lost cause for Trench. He just doesn't listen and won't change his thinking.

[Trenchcoat]

Don't you want the very best for her?

What like another guy after I have paid for everything, no not really

My focus is on finding a girl to have children with, never mind education & careers they are often oversold anyway and can really bugger things up. If you start her off on the railroad track off either of those things she will go off in that direction and that is the problem I am trying to get away from with western women. Why would I want to socialise her as a western woman it's just femininism gone mad, it would ruin the relationship.

[msmob]

What like another guy after I have paid for everything, no not really

My focus is on finding a girl to have children with, never mind education & careers they are often oversold anyway and can really bugger things up. If you start her off on the railroad track off either of those things she will go off in that direction and that is the problem I am trying to get away from with western women. Why would I want to socialise her as a western woman it's just femininism gone mad, it would ruin the relationship.

Ri-ight !..

So you've been to UA / RU and think the lass' you've 'met' there weren't educated ?

May be you want to bring a non Eng speaker, keep her at home, making babies and only let the kids out to school ?

Whatever will you do when they wonder why their Dad is such an ......?