Which City should I go to?

[mhr7]

And absolutely applauded in the other 32! 

I think you missed a state, or else we lost 1 I'm not aware of.

[BillyB]

And absolutely applauded in the other 32! 

That's the spirit!!!

Isn't it 'funny' how trench just keeps on proving he lives in a parallel uninverse ? 

Hey, the subject changed to naked wives walking around the house and you're talking about Trench. Are you in the club of men with sexy wives or not?

[msmob]

Good point, well Wade, BillyB

Long pause to next sentence as I think of what I am going to miss, soon...

Going to UK







...

[Trenchcoat]

It doesn't go both ways.  You are seeking an FSUW because you don't want a feminist WW.  That means you get to support her, and you get to pay when you go out.

As for this girl wanting the UK or nothing, look at it from her perspective.  Russian newspapers are full of stories of FSUW who went to live with a man in a third country.  She arrives, things are great for three  months, or six.  Then, she is told there is no money.  She has to go out and sell herself.  Or, he is tired of her and throws her out.  She is in a third country, can't speak the language, and has no money and no means of getting home.  This is not an unusual story.  It's not as bad as in the '90's, when girls often disappeared off the face of the earth, but it is still so common that it's reported in the papers.  The Russian government is now helping women in this predicament, as is the Belarussian government, because these women often end up at their embassies or consulates, looking for a way back home.  No word on Ukraine, at least, not that I've read.  For every decent man an FSUW is going to meet, she is going to run into 2 creeps.  So, it's not stubborness on her part.  It's self protection.

She at one point suggested she would be willing to accept somewhere else in EU for us to meet up. I suggested Copenhagen as its a nice place and her father works in Poland which is not a million miles away. Now lets face it this girl met me in Cyprus and although I gave her some money (in order so that she would get through Border control if questioned - she was not & got through without bother) but in any case it was an island stuck right out in the sea. The only comfort for her was that there were many Russian speakers there and she could talk some English. Still though she went to an island you can't swim or walk back from, the UK is also an island so harder to get off. Apparently she has a friend that lives here and this makes me wonder if she has a gameplan for specifically wanting to go to UK. Anyway she reneged on the idea of another place in EU when it became evident I was willing to accept this as an alternative/compromise.

As to her experience in growing up in Ukraine and what she has been through  I know nothing. That is why I want to go there to get to know her better. It is also what I am now looking for in a lady to get to really know her daily/actual life (and I don't mean going to get the groceries ) So I know what she is about and not just some joe who she has a superficial even if intimate relationship with. I just see having the same talk about the everyday stuff on dating sites - her family, interests, where she lives, work she does, etc doesn't really help to connect in a meaningful way with a girl it just gives you background info but doesn't really make you a part of her world. That is where I see a lot of the problems with being with a girl where I don't know about her actual life it creates a situation where she does not see me as part of her actual life just a guy on the outside she hangs around with and is expedient for this or that whatever she is after.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench describes the times when I bought my first house - despite high interest rates and was probably the most well-off ..

I was no 'crook' - Major asked us to be prudent and save for the future - I opened my first private pension ... the VERY first act of the Labour govt that replaced the complacent Tories -? ... TAX our savings / pensions - THAT really WAS robbery


Isn't it 'funny' how trench just keeps on proving he lives in a parallel uninverse ?

Moby it was Labour that introduced the tax free ISA's. Other than that I'm pretty sure savings were always subject to tax unless you were a student, etc. I don't see where you get the Labour taxed our savings from, to me it looks like political mud slinging for the sake of it.

Private pensions I would never, ever touch in a million years, they have consistently been proven to be a bad choice repeatedly over a long time. All about what you pay in and not about what you get out. Schemes that run into trouble, deliver a lot less than expected, stock market plunges at times of maturity, poor annuity payouts compared to invested sums, etc. I would stick with the state pension anyway, its a way better payout, its always been reliable and if private pension schemes were abolished and instead that money put into state pension funding it would be better funded. Plus you don't have to hear/understand all the tiresome waffle about how all these numerous private pensions subscribe to in your lifetime work.

No I did not say you were a crook but many in Major's government were, remember all the sleeze present, cash for questions, etc. Major was just a dull, boring, drip of a guy that should have been outed a lot sooner and made the recession worse by taking no action to tackle it. He just never had any decent leadership qualities. I was not a fan of Blair or Labour particularly either but they were at least more competent than the Tories at that time of running the economy.

Today I am just on the fence with all the political parties, I would never vote Tory out of conscience but I think they are doing a better job of running the country than back in the 80s & 90s though I still don't favour some of their policies. Labour, well Corbyn is quite a decent leader and nice guy but I find myself only half agreeing with only some of their policies and not in favour of others so on the fence there. That what I make of it anyway.   

[msmob]

She at one point suggested ..

Is Trench STILL discussing his 'partner' ? ....

[Davo]

[quote author=Trenchcoat

As to her experience in growing up in Ukraine and what she has been through  I know nothing. That is why I want to go there to get to know her better. It is also what I am now looking for in a lady to get to really know her daily/actual life (and I don't mean going to get the groceries ) So I know what she is about and not just some joe who she has a superficial even if intimate relationship with. I just see having the same talk about the everyday stuff on dating sites - her family, interests, where she lives, work she does, etc doesn't really help to connect in a meaningful way with a girl it just gives you background info but doesn't really make you a part of her world. That is where I see a lot of the problems with being with a girl where I don't know about her actual life it creates a situation where she does not see me as part of her actual life just a guy on the outside she hangs around with and is expedient for this or that whatever she is after.
[/quote]

Hello Trench,

You know from my past reply that I'm a novice at this, so this more me sharing my experience than giving advice.

While I agree there is no better way to get to know a woman, like experiencing her life by her side. To date for me that hasn't been  possible and in my experience, I disagree on a few points. I think it makes sense to do your ground work online. If you understand a little about women's minds  you can build an incredible  connection and attraction, so strong that you are in her thoughts, every waking hour..

A good connection before you meet, might be a more successful approach for yiu. If she is truly into you, she will share her inner most desires with you and it can start with a simple conversation about grocery  shopping... 30 minutes ago we were discussing my mothers preserved fruit and comparing  recipes. Right now that everyday conversation has morphed in to her sharing how she would like to be seduced.

It's the interest in her every day life that builds attraction ... Today has probably been the least we have talked for weeks and it has been really food related. We  spent time discussing cornflakes, roast lamb,  weather, work, Irish coffee, strawberries, strawberry brandy, preserved apricots, apricot pies, beef steak and finally  how to seduce her with strawberrys,  champaign and a bubble bath for two.

This is what a great connection looks like .... Since Saturday, this is only a small selection of the topics we have discussed.... The difficulties of being intimate when you have  children, issues we had with our ex's, little black dresses, romantic dinners on tropical islands,  pre-paid phone plans, different terminologies between  languages, Russian men's attitudes, bondage dungeons and the toys you might find inside them, jellied meat, some particularly traumatic experiences in our past, parenting  attitudes, Russian champaign, Russian  agriculture, cats, teenage daughters and their boyfriends, night clubs v  pubs, favourite ingredients in chicken  salads, Ural mountains,  vasectomies, c sections, terrorism, American sanctions, airports in  Moscow, FSU courtship in the 90's, sex before marriage,  free love in the 60's,  Metallica, Russian marriage  traditions, Racing cars, engineering, Russian movies, flavours of ice cream, family history, etc....

We have estimated we have chatted for at least 1500 hours and still find something new about each other everyday.... Food for thought : )

.... and on the subject of food and food related fantasies, I have better places to be....see you later

[Nightwish]

Is Trench STILL discussing his 'partner' ? ....

You're surprised?

[Trenchcoat]

Hello Trench,

You know from my past reply that I'm a novice at this, so this more me sharing my experience than giving advice.

While I agree there is no better way to get to know a woman, like experiencing her life by her side. To date for me that hasn't been  possible and in my experience, I disagree on a few points. I think it makes sense to do your ground work online. If you understand a little about women's minds  you can build an incredible  connection and attraction, so strong that you are in her thoughts, every waking hour..

A good connection before you meet, might be a more successful approach for yiu. If she is truly into you, she will share her inner most desires with you and it can start with a simple conversation about grocery  shopping... 30 minutes ago we were discussing my mothers preserved fruit and comparing  recipes. Right now that everyday conversation has morphed in to her sharing how she would like to be seduced.

It's the interest in her every day life that builds attraction ... Today has probably been the least we have talked for weeks and it has been really food related. We  spent time discussing cornflakes, roast lamb,  weather, work, Irish coffee, strawberries, strawberry brandy, preserved apricots, apricot pies, beef steak and finally  how to seduce her with strawberrys,  champaign and a bubble bath for two.

This is what a great connection looks like .... Since Saturday, this is only a small selection of the topics we have discussed.... The difficulties of being intimate when you have  children, issues we had with our ex's, little black dresses, romantic dinners on tropical islands,  pre-paid phone plans, different terminologies between  languages, Russian men's attitudes, bondage dungeons and the toys you might find inside them, jellied meat, some particularly traumatic experiences in our past, parenting  attitudes, Russian champaign, Russian  agriculture, cats, teenage daughters and their boyfriends, night clubs v  pubs, favourite ingredients in chicken  salads, Ural mountains,  vasectomies, c sections, terrorism, American sanctions, airports in  Moscow, FSU courtship in the 90's, sex before marriage,  free love in the 60's,  Metallica, Russian marriage  traditions, Racing cars, engineering, Russian movies, flavours of ice cream, family history, etc....

We have estimated we have chatted for at least 1500 hours and still find something new about each other everyday.... Food for thought : )

.... and on the subject of food and food related fantasies, I have better places to be....see you later

She wouldn't by any chance be a chubby chick

I think you are almost there, I think nearly every girl will have a specific thing that is close to her heart and the quicker that can be clued into the better. The rest you mention is just background chatter, nice to know and helpful that she's opened up to a point where her life is more open to you but not really the specific thing close to her heart. That specific thing may well be food, for another girl it may be fashion or music, gardening, etc it may even not be a formal topic area but an ambition of hers or way she sees the world, etc is what I'm thinking. With the girl I was with I never really got what here specific thing was, there was a few hobbies not that I was introduced to any of them (and I don't mean shopping) and that was it. Even though she seemed into fashion she seemed to have no deep desire to understand it, to study it or the fashion world. She seemed to be vacant on any real depth, I mean we talked and got on fine. I think her real specific thing was wanting to move/be in UK (she had after all contacted me/my profile first) and although supposed previous guy was from elsewhere in EU I think it was the UK she really had a longing to be. I should have tried to talk more on this subject and she may or may not have opened up to me depending on where she saw me in the process - if I was just to be a mule. I know she apparently had a friend who lived in the UK. When I asked her if she would miss her friends & family she was dismissive that that is just a necessary part of being there. This was probably not a good sign that she was so unconcerned about being away from friends/family.

Anyway, the other part of it is that I should have been more forward with my ambition in life and showed her more of my world. Like someone suggested on here once take her on a tour (through skype) of your house/where you live - so long as its not to show how well off you are I think it could give her a real insight. Other than that just talk about it and your plans for the future at an early stage and see if she connects in anyway on this, not necessarily agreeing but gets deeply involved in what it entails etc. so she is more into your world is all I can think. This is what I intend to do with the next girl and see if she naturally takes an interest and in that way open up more to me and link our lives together psychologically rather than just physically. So yes getting a psychological attachment is all important.

Guys I think this is worth discussing as not only I can learn from it and discover how to go about it better but other forum members can have a better understanding too. Its a whole different culture and just jumping on a plane is not always all there is too it for the newbie who just thinks as I did that you just meet up and voila.

[Nightwish]

She wouldn't by any chance be a chubby chick

I think you are almost there, I think nearly every girl will have a specific thing that is close to her heart and the quicker that can be clued into the better. The rest you mention is just background chatter, nice to know and helpful that she's opened up to a point where her life is more open to you but not really the specific thing close to her heart. That specific thing may well be food, for another girl it may be fashion or music, gardening, etc it may even not be a formal topic area but an ambition of hers or way she sees the world, etc is what I'm thinking. With the girl I was with I never really got what here specific thing was, there was a few hobbies not that I was introduced to any of them (and I don't mean shopping) and that was it. Even though she seemed into fashion she seemed to have no deep desire to understand it, to study it or the fashion world. She seemed to be vacant on any real depth, I mean we talked and got on fine. I think her real specific thing was wanting to move/be in UK (she had after all contacted me/my profile first) and although supposed previous guy was from elsewhere in EU I think it was the UK she really had a longing to be. I should have tried to talk more on this subject and she may or may not have opened up to me depending on where she saw me in the process - if I was just to be a mule. I know she apparently had a friend who lived in the UK. When I asked her if she would miss her friends & family she was dismissive that that is just a necessary part of being there. This was probably not a good sign that she was so unconcerned about being away from friends/family.

Anyway, the other part of it is that I should have been more forward with my ambition in life and showed her more of my world. Like someone suggested on here once take her on a tour (through skype) of your house/where you live - so long as its not to show how well off you are I think it could give her a real insight. Other than that just talk about it and your plans for the future at an early stage and see if she connects in anyway on this, not necessarily agreeing but gets deeply involved in what it entails etc. so she is more into your world is all I can think. This is what I intend to do with the next girl and see if she naturally takes an interest and in that way open up more to me and link our lives together psychologically rather than just physically. So yes getting a psychological attachment is all important.

Guys I think this is worth discussing as not only I can learn from it and discover how to go about it better but other forum members can have a better understanding too. Its a whole different culture and just jumping on a plane is not always all there is too it for the newbie who just thinks as I did that you just meet up and voila.

You know - I think most, of not all of this is quite obvious to any other forum member and/or visitor with a thinking mind, it's not rocket science mate..

Your inability to read and understand women, your apparent lack of interest in their thoughts, culture and daily life, (constantly blaming them not "introducing you" to their life) is simply something I would expect from a horny sex-tourist in his early 20:s rather then a middle age man.


Few people comes across as ignorant about the world around you I have to admit, like everything we tell you about FSU culture is a "AHA" experience to you.

That is one of your biggest issues, not the women, they are quite straight forward if you know how to speak to a woman.  again, it aint rocket science... it's dating..

[2tallbill]

I think you missed a state, or else we lost 1 I'm not aware of.

11 + 17 = 28

50 - 28 =  22

Kiwi said   32, but you gotta realize the poor boy is upside down in
NZ and who knows what that can do to his counting and NZ has
16 regions, which who would know unless they looked it up online.

[ML]

That is why I want to go there to get to know her better. It is also what I am now looking for in a lady to get to really know her daily/actual life (and I don't mean going to get the groceries ) So I know what she is about and not just some Joe who she has a superficial even if intimate relationship with. I just see having the same talk about the everyday stuff on dating sites - her family, interests, where she lives, work she does, etc doesn't really help to connect in a meaningful way with a girl it just gives you background info but doesn't really make you a part of her world. That is where I see a lot of the problems with being with a girl where I don't know about her actual life it creates a situation where she does not see me as part of her actual life just a guy on the outside she hangs around with and is expedient for this or that whatever she is after.

Over the years, this discussion group has consistently given the advice:

1) Be leery of a gal who is overly unhappy with where she is currently living.
2) Be leery of a gal who did/does not have a good relationship with her parents.

I readily understood and followed advice 1; but didn't give much currency to advice 2.
But as my experience with the gals increased, I accumulated evidence that advice 2 had great validity.

So this is something all searching guys should be investigating with their contact gals.

[mhr7]

11 + 17 = 28

50 - 28 =  22

Kiwi said   32, but you gotta realize the poor boy is upside down in
NZ and who knows what that can do to his counting and NZ has
16 regions, which who would know unless they looked it up online.

Ah, I thought he was only counting the 17 where it is illegal, 17+32=49. Maybe we should send him a map or a book or something to help him get up to speed.

[Trenchcoat]

Over the years, this discussion group has consistently given the advice:

1) Be leery of a gal who is overly unhappy with where she is currently living.
2) Be leery of a gal who did/does not have a good relationship with her parents.

I readily understood and followed advice 1; but didn't give much currency to advice 2.
But as my experience with the gals increased, I accumulated evidence that advice 2 had great validity.

So this is something all searching guys should be investigating with their contact gals.

Agree ML, if she's more intent on moving to another country then she's likely to go with any man and do anything to do it.

If she does not care about her existing family then she could quite likely harbour an uncaring attitude to most people, especially guys she may not be that into or using to get into another country.

Girl I was with seem quite close to her mother & nephew during messaging but I'm think in reality I wonder if she is so bothered. Her statement to me that not seeing them is all part of living abroad rang alarm bells - yes she apparently wants her own family but I just wonder if UK citizenship is higher up on her priorities or getting over here & meeting a really rich guy.

That or she knows if she got a job here she could earn in a day or two what it takes her to earn in a month in Ukraine and that's just doing the same basic wage job.

[2tallbill]

Ah, I thought he was only counting the 17 where it is illegal, 17+32=49. Maybe we should send him a map or a book or something to help him get up to speed.

LOL

[Anotherkiwi]

I think you missed a state, or else we lost 1 I'm not aware of.

Actually, no - I managed to add 10!  17+11+32=60. 

Oh, well, that just adds grist to the Russian mill when they claim that there are many countries which are simply undeclared parts of the USA. 

[Boethius]

Over the years, this discussion group has consistently given the advice:

1) Be leery of a gal who is overly unhappy with where she is currently living.
2) Be leery of a gal who did/does not have a good relationship with her parents.

I readily understood and followed advice 1; but didn't give much currency to advice 2.
But as my experience with the gals increased, I accumulated evidence that advice 2 had great validity.

So this is something all searching guys should be investigating with their contact gals.

I don't think either of those are relevant, particularly not in Ukraine.  You would have to know what the parents were like.

My son had a classmate whose mother dumped her kids and moved to Florida.  I knew a Ukrainian woman whose former DIL used to lock her kids in a closet with dried bread for a week at a time to party.  My son's classmate has grown up to be a good, nice, young man, though not the sharpest blade in the drawer.

Focus on the person, not the irrelevancies around them.

[Trenchcoat]

ML's comment has got me thinking. My thought is quite possibly if I went and saw her family they might not have kind words to say of her. They might tell me exactly what she is up to if she is up to something. I know she doesn't get on with her sister in law and she might let onto me her real intent if there is one. I just get the impression there is some real reason whether this or something else that make it a real no go when it comes to issue of me visiting.

[Boethius]

I am literally laughing out loud at the naivete of Trench's post.  Even if she were trying to take advantage of you, no Ukrainian would tell you that.  Taking advantage of a foreigner is not considered something negative there.

Trench, you have no reasonable thought except allegations, suspicion, paranoia.  This is ingrained in you, and leads me to believe you will not be successful in this endeavour.

[Trenchcoat]

I am literally laughing out loud at the naivete of Trench's post.  Even if she were trying to take advantage of you, no Ukrainian would tell you that.  Taking advantage of a foreigner is not considered something negative there.

Trench, you have no reasonable thought except allegations, suspicion, paranoia.  This is ingrained in you, and leads me to believe you will not be successful in this endeavour.

No I'm sure you are right taking advantage of a foriegner is not see as negative there probably seen as a positive. However it her sister in law hates her guts as it appears she might then she might be eager to go beyond the call of duty and let on. The rest of her actual family I am guessing would keep out if it. That or a local may step in for whatever reason who knows.

[Boethius]

Or she might lie in an attempt to ruin the girl's happiness. 

No local is going to step forward for any reason than their own self interest.  To them, you're a white crow.

[Trenchcoat]

Or she might lie in an attempt to ruin the girl's happiness. 

No local is going to step forward for any reason than their own self interest.  To them, you're a white crow.

So what would you have done in my position if she was saying she visits me first then I visit her? Considering whether she might get a visa is uncertain?

[Boethius]

If I could have arranged a visit to my city for my husband before we married, I would have done that in a heartbeat.  I also would have researched everything to increase my chances of success in receiving that visa.

At the time I arranged a visa for my MIL, the visa section of the embassy was run by Ukrainians, who were taking kickbacks to process visas.  My husband didn't believe his mother would get a visa, and I knew she would.  But, when she went, the Ukrainian workers wouldn't process her visa as they wanted her to pay a $100 kickback.  So, I phoned the embassy.  I got a Ukrainian frontline worker, who promptly hung up on me when I asked to speak to the Canadian in charge of visas.  So, I called back.  And then I called my MP.  The visa was issued with no kickback.

It wasn't until a few years later that there was a scandal on kickbacks at several Canadian embassies, resulting in that work no longer being handled by locals.

[treadmilldude]

I pray with every bone in my body that you do not scam or trick a Slavic woman into marrying you. You are, hands down, the most ignorant, stupid, non-perceptive human being I have ever encountered. No Slavic woman deserves the lifelong punishment, the never ending nightmare of being "Mrs. Trenchcoat". I truly wish I had the ability go on antidate, post your real name, your real pics, your screen name on RWD, and tell the women there "I will not say anything positive or negative about this guy Trenchcoat. I do not need to say anything negative about Trenchcoat. He opens his mouth and instantly you see how undesirable he is as a Man for marriage. For you women on antidate, do not email me directly as I will not say anything positive or negative about Trenchcoat. I will only provide you women the links to every one of his posts on a Russian Woman Internet Discussion Board - Russianwomendiscussion.com  Click on the links, ladies, and read all about Trenchcoat for yourself - then YOU decide, ladies, if he is a Man worthy of your affections".

Out of extreme trepidation for all of the young unmarried women in Ukraine, I wish I knew your first and last name Trenchcoat, and had your pictures, because I would post your information at antidate for all the women to see - and all the women would read every one of your posts here on RWD, and they could decide for themselves and form their own opinions of you on whether to pursue you or not.

Every Ukrainian woman deserves to be warned about you, Trenchcoat. At least give these young, single Ukrainian girls a fighting chance to marry a decent, intelligent Western Man with good morals who actually will give 100% effort to be a Fantastic Husband and Father.

[BdHvA]

I am literally laughing out loud at the naivete of Trench's post.  Even if she were trying to take advantage of you, no Ukrainian would tell you that.  Taking advantage of a foreigner is not considered something negative there.

Trench, you have no reasonable thought except allegations, suspicion, paranoia.  This is ingrained in you, and leads me to believe you will not be successful in this endeavour.

Amen! 

The stupid vibe is in force on this thread.