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Author Topic: Another w.t.f. moment.  (Read 6900 times)

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Offline eich

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Another w.t.f. moment.
« on: February 20, 2018, 08:50:27 AM »
This blundering lesson is intended for the newbie’s here. The rest of you, feel free to laugh and point. I have mentioned in an earlier post that I returned to dating after a long break.  I went through the usual games and getting ignored at various agencies until I joined UkraineDate.com.  By this time I was just throwing my line out everywhere without expecting anything at all. However one of my attempts did respond - a younger beautiful and educated woman from Odessa. I couldn’t believe my luck. Fate finally smiled. Sadly this is where my old friend stupid steps up to greet me. She wrote that I had such wonderful way of saying things and asked why I don’t date at home instead. This is where my conditioned reflex kicked in – expecting rejection. I thought she was being sarcastic and politely rejecting me. (yea I know) I thanked her cheerfully assuming that she was not interested and wished her a good day. She soon wrote back upset and offended that I was not brave enough to explain etc. etc. for not answering her question and told me she was not interested anymore. Ok. So I wrote back apologizing for the misunderstanding and let it go thinking I simply blew it again and that it was all over. No, it was not. She wrote back again berating me for not answering her question again etc. etc. I wrote back the same as before and told her I thought we were done- that she was not interested. (I should have let it go at this point). Long story short this went back and forth 2 more times until it finally occurred to me to simply answer her question (yea, I know) as honestly as I could. I apologized and tried my best to fix it; short of actually groveling. She wrote back as angry as ever. She was angry with my use of the phrase “part of the world” among other things and begun a rant about what a molester I was and something about horses and the US territories - by then I stopped reading her insults. I honestly don’t know how this happened or what I said that was so offensive. It just freewheeled out of my understanding.  So for the new here the lesson is to never assume anything about what the woman is saying or is intending to say to you. Think it over carefully because it is not her first language. Misunderstandings can and will happen no matter what you do. If you are not certain, pause and think awhile before you reply. I should have done this and I knew better, but I didn’t.  I blew it again big time. The experienced here understands how I screwed up. But even so, I hope this all helps somebody in some way. Maybe it’s time for another break. Finally one last thought…that there is some irony to be found here; (seriously) she goes by the profile name “Giggles”. Someday I might find some humor in that.
Life is just an empty room.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2018, 09:08:02 AM »
I returned to dating after a long break. 



Guys think they need long breaks after a bad event. I think it hurts the guys. They forget how to interact with women. Whether married or living a single life dating women, there doesn't need to be a break. If you figure it out, you'll never be alone. Do lots of reading here and it'll significantly increase your chances of success. Welcome to the forum.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2018, 11:50:03 AM »
This blundering lesson is intended for the newbie’s here.

Welcome to the forum! There is a ton of information here that can
help you if you are willing to do the reading.

If you put a space every 4-5 lines it makes your post easier to read.

You will get asked why you don't date locally by almost every girl you
write to and you need to have a good answer for it. When a FSU girl
asks you a question, usually there is a reason for it, and it's seldom
rhetorical. Very rarely will an FSU girl accept a non answer. They will
think there is a problem and start a cross examination that rivals a
team of KGB agents. 

You also need to be consistent, and you not her need to be driving
the bus. Never allow a girl to bat you back and forth like a ping pong
ball no matter how hot she is. Dump the girl and move on.

Udachi!
 

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline BillyB

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2018, 11:57:34 AM »
If you put a space every 4-5 lines it makes your post easier to read.



Women will judge a guy's intelligence level based on how he writes. Make sure to use paragraphs when writing ladies. Check for grammar mistakes. I admit I'm sometimes sloppy writing here at the forum but not when I was in the hunt.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2018, 12:01:59 PM »
I blew it again big time. The experienced here understands how I screwed up. But even so, I hope this all helps somebody in some way. Maybe it’s time for another break. Finally one last thought…that there is some irony to be found here; (seriously) she goes by the profile name “Giggles”. Someday I might find some humor in that.

I think she blew it, not you.

If you find anything fishy, i don’t care how hot she is, dump her! And move on. Millions of FSU women around to date with, why settle for anyone subpar? Keep fishing.

It’s usually those who have white knight mentality (trying to save damsel in distress), who become easily pushed and ordered around by women, whereby the men get easily manipulated and cheated on.
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2018, 01:04:58 PM »
Eich, you're hardly even off the starting blocks with this girl. Getting to meet the girl then you have something to talk about. The messaging stage can bring up all sorts of rubbish. Some are just crazy, I think an odd few just have mental health problems, I had one. Messaged her but never got to meet since she was so difficult to have a normal conversation with, very objectionable to everything. Possibly it may have been down to translation making it sound weird so yes like you say be careful what you say and use basic words & short sentences. I think translational & cultural misunderstandings do in many relationships without those involved realising that they are almost both up against the bogey man. It may be that she would have been unsuitable for you in the long run as your personalites werent suited. I would just learn what you can from this and start over. Though it is not always easy being less reactionary to stuff seems to go down better with FSW. I find this FSU dating game a real learning process. The more you learn the better & easier it gets.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline BillyB

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2018, 01:52:48 PM »
I think she blew it, not you.



Most women, when they see a great catch, don't blow it, they pursue it. Eich needs to get to the point when he communicates with women, they see him as a great catch. During the dating and courting phase he needs to give the impression he's a great catch.


Some guys think certain women have bad attitudes when if fact those same women are sweethearts around men who are great catches.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline ML

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2018, 02:23:36 PM »
Actually the "why don't you date locally" is the prelude to their next question, which is:  Why are you choosing Ukrainian / Russian women?

The answer they are trained to receive and waiting for is:  Ukrainian Russian women are the best in the world.
They pick up on this gem just like many (most) guys do . . . from marriage agencies and dating websites.

I never said that to any of them . . . which led some to inform me of it.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline alex330

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2018, 03:42:04 PM »
Actually the "why don't you date locally" is the prelude to their next question, which is:  Why are you choosing Ukrainian / Russian women?

The answer they are trained to receive and waiting for is:  Ukrainian Russian women are the best in the world.
They pick up on this gem just like many (most) guys do . . . from marriage agencies and dating websites.

I never said that to any of them . . . which led some to inform me of it.


Kind of agree. It is a loaded question where they are trying to determine if something is wrong with you. And what your reply is to further asses the possibility that you are worth continuing a conversation with.

Offline JayH

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2018, 03:55:15 PM »

Kind of agree. It is a loaded question where they are trying to determine if something is wrong with you. And what your reply is to further asses the possibility that you are worth continuing a conversation with.

Agree that this is actually the point  of the question    ie  if another woman wants you -- you cant be that bad !!!Like a tick of approval !

ML is also on the money!
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline BillyB

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2018, 04:18:47 PM »
The answer they are trained to receive and waiting for is:  Ukrainian Russian women are the best in the world.



I just tell them I think Slavic women are the most beautiful in the world. It's my truth and doesn't go overboard. If a guy gives any other answer that Slavic women are second best or worse, it doesn't make sense for him to pursue Slavic women. Women don't want a guy that doesn't make sense.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Jumper

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2018, 06:26:46 PM »
Lets see..
Ukrainedate and Odesa.
And a fsu woman with an attitude that spent multiple exchanges dumping a mere email contact. Unusual at best.surprisung itvwasnt an agency working keeping you on the hook much longer.

You lost nothing.

 
.

Offline Gator

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2018, 08:28:09 PM »
eich,

Good to see you here at RWD. 


What you described is a combination of misunderstanding and a difficult woman.

      -  Misunderstandings happen all the time.  Expect them, and learn to be patient.

      -  Difficult women are plentiful in the FSU, but not as plentiful as sweet, loving women.   Raises the obvious.

There is a reason why some FSUW are open to meeting Western men - FSU men no longer want to date them.  When a woman gets difficult, be strong and if that does work, say "paka" and move on to your next candidate.   You may give the difficult woman a second chance; however, she likely will not change.  It's not worth the trouble.


Online 2tallbill

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Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2018, 08:27:10 AM »

Kind of agree. It is a loaded question where they are trying to determine
if something is wrong with you. And what your reply is to further asses
the possibility that you are worth continuing a conversation with.

It's definitely a test question that you need a prepared answer for.

When I lived in North Dakota, I would explain that I moved there
for the oil boom along with zillions of other men. The Williston
Newpaper reported that there were 70 men for every woman.
That includes 8 year old girls (not my type) and 80 year old
Babushka's (not my type either).

I could go to a nightclub and even the 60 year old crones, who
were 160 cm and 115 kg that were missing 7 teeth with facial
tattoos and an ankle bracelet to keep their parole officer aware
of their location had a circle of men around them.

It takes 24 hours to drive back to my home town in Oregon but
only 18-20 to drive and fly to the FSU so that I am flying to the
FSU because it's closer!

I had a different stories when I lived in different areas, but I
always had a story. Then I would turn it around to them.

Why is such a beautiful woman still single? are all the FSU
men blind? How do all the blind men drive? Did you kill
your last 7 boyfriends? Did you poison their soup?

These girls want to be pursued, they want it to be about
them, not their FSU sisters. Her FSU sisters can find their
own man, this girl wants me or will before I am done talking
to her.

What is the purpose of her question? It's multifaceted,
Is this guy for real? Is he serious? Will he get on a plane?
Will he love me? Will he ___________ enter a thousand
other questions here.

Your goal is to get her at ease and thinking of you and her
together. You still need to discuss thousands of things but
you need to break through the ice and defenses first.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2018, 01:18:39 PM »
eich,

Good to see you here at RWD. 


What you described is a combination of misunderstanding and a difficult woman.

      -  Misunderstandings happen all the time.  Expect them, and learn to be patient.

      -  Difficult women are plentiful in the FSU, but not as plentiful as sweet, loving women.   Raises the obvious.

There is a reason why some FSUW are open to meeting Western men - FSU men no longer want to date them.  When a woman gets difficult, be strong and if that does work, say "paka" and move on to your next candidate.   You may give the difficult woman a second chance; however, she likely will not change.  It's not worth the trouble.

I think this is very true Gator. Sometimes a difficult woman shows herself early on in communication and like you say she very rarely changes despite your efforts. Some women you only become aware that they are difficult later on perhaps only after dating them. The last girl I was with didn't show her difficulty with her bringing shopping/materialism into the relationship until we had met and her subsequent refusal to drop it/see it as a problem. She is looking at other guys on the internet now but I know she will not get anywhere with any of them as (unless they are a millionaire) this getting guys to buy her stuff will kill it every time and that is any guy that will look at women in Kherson & be prepared to go. The first Woman's difficultly that I met I think is that she was probably too modest/frigid. Most guys locally would not bother dealing with that as they are many women more willing to get with. So yes I think you are correct there are all sorts of difficult women that are left over in the FSU dating game that are there for a reason. You've no doubt had the experience of going out there and meeting some of them. As the saying goes beggars can't be choosers but some do seem so difficult that they probably unknowingly do themselves out of relationships every time. That and I think a fair few don't realise that by not being in the West they are limited to those that will make the journey to see them which is probably small in number at best.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Boethius

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2018, 03:19:34 PM »
Too modest/frigid means she wasn't attracted to you and, therefore, didn't jump into be with you?


You chose to buy the second girl what she asked for.  So, that's on you, not her.  Millionaires usually aren't buying polos and such at outlet malls.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #16 on: February 21, 2018, 04:30:48 PM »
Too modest/frigid means she wasn't attracted to you and, therefore, didn't jump into be with you?


You chose to buy the second girl what she asked for.  So, that's on you, not her.  Millionaires usually aren't buying polos and such at outlet malls.

Granted the first girl was not attracted to me, but I kind of got the impression she is kind of not much of a goer with most guys. She was attractive enough to gain interest from many a man and had a good slim figure.

The second girl I admit I made a mistake with in buying her stuff and by doing that it made a difficult in that she became stuck with that expectation. I fouled up there, I thought it would be nice to buy her a few small items and it just got me into a hole, lesson learnt. I do however think she would carry on similar with most blokes, whether they make the same mistake as me? I think many would so her chances of finding someone that will constantly stand up to her pestering for this or that are probably pretty remote considering she lives somewhere remote as many WM would see it.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Sting23

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #17 on: February 21, 2018, 07:50:45 PM »
Messages could be lost in translation. who knows how good her English is and if she's using a translator.
Try Skype and you'll know much better. Tone of voice, whether she laughs, is shy, self depricating. hard to pick up these nuances from words only.

Offline eich

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2018, 04:14:55 AM »
I was unaware this thread is still going. I must check my settings.
Anyway I thought it over and kynrazor is right. I merely misunderstood her question and never got the chance to get to the point or say anything else for that matter. But I did the best I could without going to her level. Her response was that of sudden rage with perhaps hints of BPD, but still inexcusable. I suspect a generous daily cocktail of Clonazapam/Lamotrigine would smooth her out a bit. Well, you just had to have been there.
Life is just an empty room.

Offline eich

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2018, 04:17:26 AM »
No, that was unkind of me. Never mind.  :-[
Life is just an empty room.

Offline Sting23

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2018, 04:56:51 AM »
Hmm ok that's a bit far...Like I said, the tone or intent can be lost in messages.  Talk to them and you'll gauge their emotion much better.  But yeah, her sudden raging could be a warning sign.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #21 on: February 26, 2018, 08:49:05 AM »

 I merely misunderstood her question and never got the chance to get to the point or say anything else for that matter.


You wrote her a letter. How do you not get the chance to get to the point or say anything else? You had the opportunity to re-read your message before hitting "send" or send a following message if you wanted to add more. She can't stop you from doing that.


 I did the best I could without going to her level. Her response was that of sudden rage with perhaps hints of BPD, but still inexcusable.


Earlier you said it was your fault and apologized for using the phrase “part of the world” and other things. I don't know what the "other things" are but there has to be some reason she called you a molester.

She may have a short fuse. She may be intolerant and unforgiving if there is a misunderstanding. She may not be right for you but you need to evaluate what you wrote carefully so the next girl isn't insulted.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline eich

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2018, 01:30:37 AM »
    I had hoped to spare the forum a long drawn out explanation.) But as I wrote earlier I have had time to reconsider my responsibility after getting past my initial astonishment. The cause of which I wrote about too soon afterwards.
    For clarification, no, I had no chance to “get to the point or say anything else”. To that I can only say that I was unable to mollify her very sudden, and very inappropriate anger in response to everything I tried to say to her - and no, I never once insulted her. The rest you know.
    To put it another way, when a stranger with whom you are talking to suddenly lose their temper and rationality there is not much to be done accept for damage control and extracting yourself from the situation. Obviously in such a case, you do not attempt to continue the original topic of conversation. As for myself it became pointless to continue with her and so I belatedly ended it. In essence, she did stop me from adding anything more than that which could be meaningful.
    BillyB, "molester" was just a part of her long list of insults. There was no rational reason for her to call me a molester as our age difference is 10 years. We all know that people too often resort to all kinds of name calling and insults when they are very angry and she was very angry. Even though we clearly misunderstood each other her response was very abnormal and inexcusable. I honestly cannot think of what anyone could have done or say except to end this exchange sooner that what I had done.
    However, despite of this perplexing story, the original lesson I attempted to convey still holds.
Life is just an empty room.

Offline Sting23

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2018, 02:03:36 AM »
Could be the language barrier or just her.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Another w.t.f. moment.
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2018, 09:02:41 AM »



Eich, I had a few women write "F you" in their first letter to me. I communicated with many women at any given time and was dating regularly at home so one rejection by way of insult didn't bother me. Communicate with lots of women so when one rejects you, especially in an insulting way, you won't feel as bad.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

 

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American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by 2tallbill
Today at 04:48:07 PM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 04:37:18 PM

If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by 2tallbill
Today at 04:17:08 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 02:48:08 PM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 01:09:03 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:51:13 PM

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:33:48 PM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:24:44 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 11:16:08 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by ML
Today at 10:31:43 AM

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