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First
visit to America
When we have a girlfriend, fiancée,
friend or a relative coming to the United States for the first time,
each of us thinks of what to do or what to show to impress the
visitor. How do we arrive at what that might be? Is
it based on personal interests, perhaps from conversations with that
person or just what others show tourists? Is it culture, or action, or
physical characteristic or…? What is it about your
home, your state whether it is East Coast, Midwest or West Coast that
you believe will capture the attention of a Russian woman?
I was very happy to have my mother recently fly to America for the fist
time. Since she is already widely traveled in foreign land, I
knew it would be a challenge to surprise her, but I still
tried. I showed her the beauty of Minnesota lakes and nature;
the buzzing life of Minneapolis skyways; Guthrie Theatre with its
majestic “Endless Bridge” overlooking Mississippi
river; stately St. Paul Capitol… I thought to show her all
of the things that a first time visitor to the Twin Cities might want
to say they have seen.
Oddly, it was not any of these experiences that made as large an
impression as the simple act of driving back home through neighborhood
streets. We saw big, colorful signs that
immediately caught my mother’s attention with their variety
and they produced new terms for her: yard sale and garage
sale. A few minutes later we came upon another, where the
entire family, big and small, was out in the garage with hanging
clothing on racks, displaying baby toys, some furniture items,
etc. We were compelled to stop and go look - there was no way
my mom could pass on the opportunity to explore what they had for sale,
to find great deals and to communicate with the very friendly
owners. She happily listened to the stories of how each thing
was acquired, why it was so dear to the owner and the reasons they had
to sell it. She then shared her experiences in post soviet
era Russia where they would become excited about second hand clothing
brought there from “across the border”, all with
different styles and fashions, and about Soviet and later Russian
commission stores. Not willing to throw good things away and
with a prospect of getting some value back, mom and dad would always
take their used items there. The similarities ended here,
however, as they would never see the buyer, share the special story of
the thing and give them a discount just because they wanted it to go to
“good hands”. In what seemed like an
instant, nearly an hour had passed and we good-bye.
The first question I heard from mom the very next morning was not about
Mall of America or the renowned Sculpture Garden, but about going to
another garage sale. Whether a Russian or an American, we all
love finding deals and meeting interesting new people. Where
many will look for the dazzling lights of a fancy marquee or the
prestigious neighborhood to drive past, we discovered that, of all
things, garage sales are all about that and being an integral part of
an American culture that allow people, regardless of circumstance, to
connect on a personal level. My mother’s experience
proved to me that these neighborhood sales truly are something to see
and experience.
 Tamara
von Schmidt-Pauli is a native of St.
Petersburg Russia
who has been visiting, and living in, the United States and Canada
since 2002. She holds bachelors and masters
degrees, with honors, covering teaching of language and
translation and
currently resides in the greater Minneapolis
area. Tamara is affiliated with Prime Language Services (www.primelanguageservices.com)
Premarital
Agreements
Plan for
a happy marriage, but be ready to protect your assets (or value of
Premarital Agreements).
As a bilingual Immigration Attorney (Russian and English), I have
assisted numerous couples with their Fiancée Visas, Spousal
or Immigrant Visas and Green Cards. In other cases, I have provided
confidential certified legal translations of important legal documents,
including Premarital Agreements (or prenuptial agreements).
In my practice, I have observed at least several instances of FSU women
brought to the United States on Fiancée visas with plans to
marry in the USA, who had an advance notice of a Premarital Agreement,
and who later tried to back off and refused to sign the agreement, or
insisted on making significant changes to the agreement shortly before
marriage in the USA.
This is a brief outline on how to protect your interests and assets
when preparing to marry a foreign woman or man, specifically from
Russia or other FSU countries. Before you propose marriage to your
Russian or FSU sweetheart, make sure that you sit down and have an open
and honest discussion of all important and relevant issues. You may
want to discuss: your life in America; your life style; what you can
afford and what you cannot afford (some Russian women may have
unrealistic expectations); show her some realistic photos, including
photos of your house, residence, neighborhood, family; what you do for
living; how often and where do you go for vacations; who are your
friends; your hobbies; your parents and siblings (how often do you
meet, how close you are to your family); all ex-wives issues and all
children; child support you pay and child custody/visitations schedules
(you might be surprised to find out that your Russian sweetheart is
absolutely against having your kids from the previous marriage in your
house, even if a few days a week); whether you want or don’t
want to have children in the future; how soon after marriage would you
like to start a family and have a baby; what she wants to do in USA
(her career plans, education, going to college, or being a housewife,
etc); what about her mother and father; how strong is your
fiancée’s attachment to her mother; whether she
would insist on bringing her parent to live with you in your household
in 3 years (or as soon as she becomes a USA citizen and can petition
for them to join her in America).
If you are a reasonably wealthy man or have some assets that you
don’t want to lose in case of divorce and property division
(pension, savings, investments, 401K, a house, etc), one of the main
issues you should discuss with your fiancée when you are
engaged is a PREMARITAL AGREEMENT!
Don’t believe it when a woman says that “we
don’t have premarital agreements in Russia”. Yes,
they do nowadays (celebrities, wealthy couples), even though
it’s still not very common. She may say that she personally
does not believe in premarital agreement and that “it kills
the real love”. It’s of utmost importance to be
ready to protect your assets in a marriage with a foreign national,
especially because of cultural and language differences, and because
often you have so little time to get to know each other and /or to
cohabit before the marriage.
The best Premarital Agreement takes into consideration BOTH
parties’ interests, not merely US citizen
fiancé/spouse’s, but at the same time it protects
integrity of a US citizen’s assets in case of divorce. If you
see that your foreign fiancée who does not bring any assets
into the marriage, but nevertheless, becomes difficult and will likely
refuse to sign a reasonable Premarital Agreement, and you have
significant assets that you want to protect, you may be better off to
move on and look for a wife somewhere else. This is especially true if
you are from one of the Western “Community
Property” States, which are: Arizona, California, Idaho,
Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, Wisconsin. In these
States, it’s not uncommon to have marital or even pre-marital
property divided into half in case of divorce, even if the marriage was
of a short duration.
Make sure that your Premarital Agreement is:
- prepared by a qualified Attorney in your State
(jurisdiction) in United States, and not by a Russian lawyer in Russia
or FSU;
- you pay for legal advice, not merely look up
information on Internet or bug lawyers for free telephone consultation
(they deserve to be paid for their time and expertise);
- have your Premarital Agreement TRANSLATED to Russian
(or native language of your fiancée) by a qualified
translator or lawyer in the USA (NOT in Russia), a translator could be
a licensed bilingual lawyer (this way you can assure an ACCURATE
TRANSLATION of ALL LEGAL TERMS which will stand in court if needed
later);
- send or give your fiancée a DRAFT of the
Premarital Agreement BEFORE she comes to USA on K-1 Fiancée
visa, so she has time to review it and provide her objections or
suggestions, and document the fact that you gave her the draft on a
certain date;
- hire her a SEPARATE lawyer here in USA who can
explain the terms of the agreement to her BEFORE she signs it (usually,
it will cost you only a few hours of a lawyer’s time, but it
helps to bulletproof the agreement for court in case of any future
problems; before you hire her a lawyer, ask your lawyer to suggest you
someone he or she knows, as it helps if both lawyers can comfortably
work together in a non-adversarial manner);
- don’t sign the Premarital Agreement in
Russia or other FSU countries (do it in your lawyer’s office
in your State in the United States, having your attorneys present in
person, an interpreter can be present via teleconference);
- never sign the Premarital Agreement in counties where
it’s not recognized by law (even though it might seem
convenient if you are having your marriage abroad at some exotic island
in Caribbean or Indian ocean);
- and, of course, don’t forget to sign the
Premarital Agreement BEFORE the marriage takes place.
As a US-trained and licensed bilingual attorney (Russian-English), I
have assisted numerous couples in the USA in having their Premarital
Agreements translated to Russian (certified notarized translation). As
an interpreter, I assisted through teleconferencing in negotiation and
signing of the Premarital Agreement between
Fiancé/Husband/his lawyer and Foreign
Fiancée/Wife/her lawyer in several different States. During
signing of the Premarital Agreement, an interpreter can be either
physically present in the office or present via teleconference to your
lawyer’s office. Most of the couples I worked with as an
Immigration Lawyer or as a Translator have happy and successful
marriages, but occasionally all extra legal precautions could be a
lifesaver.
Luba
Smal is an US-licensed attorney and immigration lawyer. She is also
admitted to practice law in Belarus (FSU) since 1994. Luba Smal is an
attorney in private practice and a General Notary in Omaha, Nebraska,
USA. Her law practice is not limited to one State only. Because
immigration law is federal law, she is admitted to practice federal
immigration law in all 50 States. She speaks fluent Russian and
English. (In some States words “this is an
advertisement” are required to accompany this article).
Website: http://www.law-visa-usa.com ;
Email: Attorney@law-visa-usa.com
How
to Write a Love Letter
Most of the people get really confused when trying to express their
feelings to someone they love. Just being in the same room with the
object of your affections can make you feel ill at ease. Sitting down
and writing a letter in private, however, gives you time to get in
touch with your deepest feelings and then decide which words will best
express them. You may reach a clarity of thought by the time you finish
the letter that you didn't have when you started and which you probably
wouldn't have reached trying to express yourself in person. Here are
some simple tips to help you get those romantic feelings down on paper.
1. Presentation
Your love letter is a personal message to someone special, so your
method of writing should also be special. Forget about the computer.
For this endeavor, you'll need to hark back to the old days of pen and
paper. It’s ok even if you don’t have a copybook
hand! Get some nice (and romantic!) stationery, a flair pen with black
or brown ink and a matching envelope. You can also include a special
extra: petals from a flower, sprinkles of stars, paper hearts or a
teabag of your favorite tea. That little extra effort means you really
put some thought and heart into this.
2. Romantic
salutation
"Dear [Jane/John]" is too common to start a heartfelt love
letter. Choose something more loving, such as "My dearest Jane" or "My
darling Jane." You can also start with a loving salutation that doesn't
include your significant other's name, such as "To My True Love" or "To
My One and Only." If you have a pet nickname, that's a good option,
too, as it sets an intimate mood for the rest of your letter.
3. Preamble
You may want to start out by saying, "I've been thinking of you nonstop
since..." or "I thought of you today when... " or "I have been wanting
to tell you this for a long time..."
4. Declaration of
Love
Tell your significant other why you love him or her. There are many
ways to do this: you might want to recall the first time you knew you
were in love with this person, explain how your life has changed for
the better, describe how much you miss your love when you're apart,
explain that you can't imagine life without him/her, mention times
you've picked him/her out of a crowd. You can also explain how you feel
when you're together, and include your hopes or plans for your future
together.
5. Famous quotation
Love is such an overwhelming emotion, it's hard to explain all the
wonderful things about it in a simple letter. So borrow some words from
a professional wordsmith. A romantic quote can sum up a plethora of
feelings in just a few phrases.
7. Romantic closing
"Sincerely yours" or "Best wishes" are fine valedictions for an
everyday letter to a friend, but a love letter needs something more
heartfelt. Try closing with a phrase such as "All my love," "Yours
forever" or "Your Loving [Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, Wife, etc]"
and then sign your name.
8. Present the
Letter
Find a romantic way to present your letter. Lay it on the pillow with a
long-stemmed rose, send it with flowers or a gift basket or go out for
a romantic walk/ intimate dinner.
This article is provided by
Russian Flora:
Russian Flora specializes in high-quality, reliable gift and
flower delivery to Russia , CIS and Eastern Europe. The company works
directly with established, local Russian florists to offer deliveries
within 24-48 hours of submitted orders. After the founder and owner
David Skol experienced firsthand that many of the existing delivery
services to Russia provided either low-quality or over-priced flowers
and gifts, he decided to provide a U.S.-based service that would
provide the type of service he believed was lacking. Learn more at www.RussianFlora.com.
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