Russian Women Discussion

RWD Discussion Groups => Experienced => Topic started by: Trenchcoat on May 18, 2020, 02:51:05 AM

Title: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 18, 2020, 02:51:05 AM
Virus or not, you don't even try to get dates.  That's why you itch. Some say one can go blind as well.  Hire-a-bonk is not really dating.

I know how to get things done on the FSU dating front now BC, working out how it all worked took a while but even then I did get a few dates. Unfortunately the virus intervened just about as I was about to make a move. It's been frustrating to not be able to get out there but I'm hoping in July or August things might have improved enough to allow it.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BC on May 18, 2020, 04:02:42 AM
I know how to get things done on the FSU dating front now BC, working out how it all worked took a while but even then I did get a few dates. Unfortunately the virus intervened just about as I was about to make a move. It's been frustrating to not be able to get out there but I'm hoping in July or August things might have improved enough to allow it.

Oh.. I thought you meant dating locally.  Unless you're meeting women in FSU without assistance, it's pretty much an 'arranged meeting' and not really dating.  Of course, such a meeting could lead to further 'real' dates.

Anyhoo, good luck.  Would be nice to see you post actual experiences vs misogynistic hypotheses for a change.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 18, 2020, 04:24:18 AM
Oh.. I thought you meant dating locally.  Unless you're meeting women there without assistance, it's pretty much an 'arranged meeting' and not really dating.  Of course, such a meeting could lead to further 'real' dates.

Anyhoo, good luck.  Would be nice to see you post actual experiences vs misogynistic hypotheses for a change.

Ayyee!

You quoted Trench, BC ;)

He HAS posted his 'TR's'...  a lass from Kherson who was pushing him for gifts to get her into the UK ... (or so Trench claims ) ...  By his own admission, he doesn't earn enough to import a FSU partner .. So he was wasting her time, anyway..  or falsely declaring his income..

He 'doesn't' want to date, locally as they are are fatties and claiming welfare where he lives, or ... they are 'entitled good looking women seeking a 'successful guy' ..

Trench STILL doesn't get that HE( his misogyny)  is the issue .. he is a sociopath.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 18, 2020, 06:37:43 AM
Oh.. I thought you meant dating locally.  Unless you're meeting women in FSU without assistance, it's pretty much an 'arranged meeting' and not really dating.  Of course, such a meeting could lead to further 'real' dates.

Anyhoo, good luck.  Would be nice to see you post actual experiences vs misogynistic hypotheses for a change.

I've recalled my experiences quite a number of times here before but I'll briefly reiterate here if only to serve as a break from Coronavirus talk.

First girl I met was in Kiev, but she was from Mariupol at the time and still near the conflict zone. We met on EM and messaged and Skyped beforehand, she was a beautiful girl and friendly. We spent the week together in Kiev, we got on well but there was no chemistry and she was into Theatre, Opera, Orchestra which I am not, I don't mind going just to see what it's like but it's not something I'm into, still an enjoyable time was had. She spoke virtually perfect English from her time at Uni.

Second time I went to Odessa, I spent a couple of days holiday time there by myself as that was where the plane lands to see what it was like. My reason for going was to meet a girl in Nikoleav so after a couple of days in Odessa I went to Nikolaev to meet here by bus. I had just written to her as at the time I just wanted to explore Ukraine more so I guess I just wanted an excuse to get out there and who knows. She looked pretty in her photo but when we met her facial skin was a bit pimply which didn't show in the photos, she still wasn't too bad looking other than that though and wore a nice dress. Anyway we had a meal together but it didn't last that long, we chatted a bit, but she spoke hardly any English, I spoke hardly any Russian and I didn't realise at the time my Russian was worse than I thought it was. That I have since worked  on, still much to do but I can speak and understand a few basic words and phrases now, still far, far off fluent or any great vocabulary knowledge though to understand a full on Russian conversation or phrase. Anyway, she made her excuses to be elsewhere following the meal, that wasn't a great result for me and I was not in a great mood at the time. However you can't get every girl is the way I see it so lesson learned I moved on. I spent the final couple of days or so getting to know the culture better.

Third girl was 'Kherson Girl' we met in Kiev but she was from Kherson, she was beautiful also, and yes I twice made the mistake of not visiting a girl in her home town. Still I enjoyed the time we had and I guess she did too. She had a tendancy for clothing though, shopping in general, not the real top of the range stuff but mid range stuff that would all add up, £50-80 direction. I managed to excuse myself from most off her wants but bought her a few things to be nice. She was intimate with me and seemed into me so I agreed to go on holiday with her abroad, I chose that place to be Cyprus. In Cyprus she was even worse with wanting stuff, I don't believe she was scamming me it was really more because she was into clothes fashion as it's a real big thing for some women. Anyway, I should have handled it better but didn't know how to at the time and gave in a fair bit to be nice to her. We had a good time but long story short though she was a stubborn type and couldn't accept that I could not get her a tourist visa to see me in the UK. She accused me of being a married man and hence didn't want her to come, etc. Main take away is that I made many mistakes, if I had not done so maybe the relationship would of lasted or maybe there wouldn't have been any relationship as fairly short as it was.

The last girl I saw about a year and a half ago was in Minsk, she lived there but I never saw where, Belarus women can be more cautious, I don't have a problem with that and never pressed to see her home, etc. I met her in a restaurant just off the main big square, they were having some military comemoration thing on at the time that was just finishing. She was nice enough looking and neatly turned out however again I could tell there was no attraction. We talked and had lunch then walked around Gorky Park and went on the Ferris Wheel. Everything about her was the opposite of me so I knew it was going nowhere. We talked and I called it off to save us both the trouble, she was content to show me around Minsk but I preferred to move on and check it out myself as I knew our opposite tastes would be frustrating for the both of us. I tried to contact other women but it was a bit late in the day/time too short. One would have met with me but was out of the city at the time.

Anyway, there we have it BC, it's a very brief synopsis for you. Its been quite a journey so far, I've learned a lot about women, the world and me along the way and some members of this forum such as 2tallbill, BillyB and Krimster amiung others have given me some great help and advice. I now think I have cracked it as to how to go about this, I'm not saying I will be successful but I think I know how to do it better is than I did before. Coronavirus is a fly in the ointment though if we can generally be shot off it by July/August time then it may not have been a problem. Other than that I am either doing Winter dating in the FSU, up to now one I have preferred to avoid or resume dating next year assuming we are not having the same problem this winter or next year of course, etc.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on May 18, 2020, 07:33:44 AM
Trench, apart from some obvious mistakes you did not do too bad. You can not expect to hit the jackpot one one try, especially if your skills at home are not on a high level.While you may have already cracked it, let me give you my tips.1. Take short trips. You are just a couple of hours away, meaning you can plan a first date over a weekend, no need for long lasting stays.2. Be decisive. You know already meeting in person is the most important part.3. Plan where you stay and how long, the rest is up to the woman you visit. You are not visiting a tour guide your objective is to get to know a person. The more she lets you in to her life, the better.
4. Understand the signals. If planned friends or family suddenly becomes unavailable understand why.5. Have  plan. First meeting is ok?  Then plan a second more extended meeting to see if you can live with each other. Try not to make it a vacation, as close to everyday life as you can. Meanwhile find out how to make her arrive to you and explain which steps are needed and the time plan.
You might need several more first dates depending on your skill to pre-select the right woman. Do not go for someone who does not like her country or life, it is a sign that she will trade up whenever possible.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 18, 2020, 09:22:46 AM
Trench, apart from some obvious mistakes you did not do too bad. You can not expect to hit the jackpot one one try, especially if your skills at home are not on a high level.While you may have already cracked it, let me give you my tips.1. Take short trips. You are just a couple of hours away, meaning you can plan a first date over a weekend, no need for long lasting stays.2. Be decisive. You know already meeting in person is the most important part.3. Plan where you stay and how long, the rest is up to the woman you visit. You are not visiting a tour guide your objective is to get to know a person. The more she lets you in to her life, the better.
4. Understand the signals. If planned friends or family suddenly becomes unavailable understand why.5. Have  plan. First meeting is ok?  Then plan a second more extended meeting to see if you can live with each other. Try not to make it a vacation, as close to everyday life as you can. Meanwhile find out how to make her arrive to you and explain which steps are needed and the time plan.
You might need several more first dates depending on your skill to pre-select the right woman. Do not go for someone who does not like her country or life, it is a sign that she will trade up whenever possible.

Thanks Shadow I appreciate your kind words :) Yeah a lot of that I found out along the way, would have been handy to know at the beginning, some of it was probably raised on here near the beginning in various threads but I think some it takes some experiencing to really get an idea why it is the thing to do or not do. The point you make at the end is very important and one I have not heard yet but is indeed very valuable to know. The trade up situation I think happens to many men, they go over there think they have made it with a woman then after bringing her back she moves on as soon as she becomes a permanent resident/citizen. Some women may intend to do that from the outset but many no doubt end up looking around them when they get to the guys country and notice better options than the guy they are with. If there are guys that are better looking, better homes, better cars, better social skills/lives, better wealth, etc, etc I can see that that would be very enticing to a girl who has already seemed to trade up & out of Ukraine or wherever for a better life, that she could keep looking in that direction and if pretty enough etc can get it. I also know that there are many guys at home that wouldn't think twice about going after a pretty FSW after the hard work of bringing her into the country has been done.

I have also been working on myself this past year or so to try and look a better prospect. I realise that I can't just turn up as the person I am without certain things being turn offs that I up fairly recently haven't thought anything off it. So working out a bit in the gym even if I don't look like a full on muscle man and paying greater attention to the stuff I wear, things I do & say and the way I look, etc Looking at some of the guys that go on dating tours last night on You Tube I can see why some of them have problems. Some are fine of course (some are oldish of course) but some even as a guy I can see are unimpressive in look or stature, or behave in a little immature demeanor, etc.

Looking forward though my intention was always to gain an independent income for myself and spend longer out there. I'm not far off doing that now but barring that I sway more towards the meet many strategy and think I know how to go about achieving that better than I have in the past (forgot to mention Lviv in after Kherson girl but before Minsk girl, had a couple of one off dates there). The meet ones were good for gaining experience and finding out about the FSU and culture but it's pretty hit & miss. I did a short weekend trip for the Minsk date but Ukraine is really only where it becomes heap enough for me to use that strategy due to low cost budget flights and greater hotel/apartment options. Otherwise I think I would prefer a meet many situation over a few days or so with probably one meet a day as anything more could get tricky.

So how did you end up in the FSU scene Shadow?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: GenMish on May 18, 2020, 09:36:44 AM
I've recalled my experiences quite a number of times here before but I'll briefly reiterate here if only to serve as a break from Coronavirus talk.

First girl I met was in Kiev, but she was from Mariupol at the time and still near the conflict zone. We met on EM and messaged and Skyped beforehand, she was a beautiful girl and friendly. We spent the week together in Kiev, we got on well but there was no chemistry and she was into Theatre, Opera, Orchestra which I am not, I don't mind going just to see what it's like but it's not something I'm into, still an enjoyable time was had. She spoke virtually perfect English from her time at Uni.

 

Interesting,
When I went to Russia in the early 90s I found all the quality girls were into Theatre, Opera, Orchestra. Since I didn't want a party girl, I accepted it even though I was woefully ignorant of the Arts. Over the years onnce I understood those Classic Arts, I learned how to appreciate them. I am very grateful to my RW (now my Ex) that she opened a whole world for me. She made me a better person in many ways, and that was just one.

So I guess Im saying, don't strike them off your list for that, benefit from it
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: ML on May 18, 2020, 09:40:59 AM
I can appreciate all the fine arts except Opera.  Just can't get into it.  Best part is when the fat lady sings.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 18, 2020, 03:48:57 PM
Interesting,
When I went to Russia in the early 90s I found all the quality girls were into Theatre, Opera, Orchestra. Since I didn't want a party girl, I accepted it even though I was woefully ignorant of the Arts. Over the years onnce I understood those Classic Arts, I learned how to appreciate them. I am very grateful to my RW (now my Ex) that she opened a whole world for me. She made me a better person in many ways, and that was just one.

So I guess Im saying, don't strike them off your list for that, benefit from it

Yeah I can see for sure you'll avoid a Party girl with an Arts girl. I don't mind going on the odd occasion, it can be surprising to see how high those ballet dancers can jump & move about, some theatre shows in English at home I can get into a little and follow, orchestra I don't mind as I can relax away, opera so find harder to follow. However, all in all its no really something I would enjoy usually, regularly, it's not really my world or ever has been and not likely will be. I do tend to think it really tends to be more a certain type of person that gets off on all of that stuff and I just don't in the main.

I've no problem with seeing it once as it's kind of synonymous with Kiev and Ukraine in general. However I wouldn't really want to feel like a fraud to a woman by making out I'm into it while I'm not so, I would kind of feel like being an imposter of someone who I am not. When in Lviv I was messaging a woman who was into orchestra and the like, the messaging stopped when it quickly became apparent to both of us that we moved in separate worlds.

The girl I met in Minsk actually worked in a theatre and again we were the total opposites and that was a problem. Before we met I voiced my concerns but she denied we were different and instead thought we had stuff in common, I couldn't think what, lol.

For me I don't think those type of women suit me. The first girl I met wasn't a total opposite she was quite refined and we got on well enough but I found her a bit too stiff in terms of relaxing with a guy and just getting into a relationship. It was like there was a long term plan to follow of patiently waiting with little to no action before if and only if the winds were blowing in the right direction then you might just get access to some sort of a relationship. So yes you can get a good girl I agree but I don't reckon that type of good girl would ever suit me.

In a side note we did go to a Jazz Club in Kiev and I enjoyed the Jazz Music their immensely but that was more like a night club type of setting.

On the other side of the coin there are party girls. An all out party girl wouldn't suit me I'm not that far out for that. I know also that they can be bad girls, however some girls with a slight party vent can be fun to be with and some like all sorts of fun stuff so not necessarily nightclubbing.

In general it's difficult to know, I have a better idea of where to get a stable girl now other than Arts girls but stable girls can sometimes be too stable and lacking in something maybe. My bet bet for the moment would be to venture forth to date some more women in a meet many situation once this virus thing allows if possible I think.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on May 18, 2020, 04:48:59 PM
Would be nice to see you post actual experiences vs misogynistic hypotheses for a change.

+1
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 19, 2020, 01:56:57 AM
+1

I believe you were party to misogynistic hypotheses recently too Bill ;D
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on May 19, 2020, 08:02:14 AM
Trenchcoat while it my be something you wanted to do anyway, do not change yourself just for catching a woman. Understand that your life partner will have o live with your worst habits, not you on your best behaviour unless you can keep it up forever.
My history is somewhere here as I at the wime wrote some reports.To make it short, after the rest of the world I decided why not try the FSU as well. First trip to Kiev got me a friend, not enough chemistry from both sides. But we were close enough to exchange profiles, comment on them and search profiles for each other.One of those was in Moscow, and a weekend trip later the future MrsShadow was met. That was in 2005, when things were a lot different from today, but the basic things never change, just the amount of ways to exchange thoughts before the trip has increased a lot.This year we are together for 15 years, and married for 12 thanks to the laws in the Netherlands that allow the same rights for married and unmarried partners.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 20, 2020, 12:46:26 PM
Trenchcoat while it my be something you wanted to do anyway, do not change yourself just for catching a woman. Understand that your life partner will have o live with your worst habits, not you on your best behaviour unless you can keep it up forever.
My history is somewhere here as I at the wime wrote some reports.To make it short, after the rest of the world I decided why not try the FSU as well. First trip to Kiev got me a friend, not enough chemistry from both sides. But we were close enough to exchange profiles, comment on them and search profiles for each other.One of those was in Moscow, and a weekend trip later the future MrsShadow was met. That was in 2005, when things were a lot different from today, but the basic things never change, just the amount of ways to exchange thoughts before the trip has increased a lot.This year we are together for 15 years, and married for 12 thanks to the laws in the Netherlands that allow the same rights for married and unmarried partners.

Thanks for sharing your story Shadow, it's an interesting way to go about it, were you able to sort out a partner for your friend as well using that method?

Well I know what you mean, I think any changes have to be compatible with me and something I can maintain. I don't mind changes so long as they seem reasonable and improve me. I guess there is more than one way of looking at it all.

If I wasn't too fussed over the type of girl  then changes wouldn't really be necessary to a point. A lot of pretty girls though will probably be looking for a guy that looks reasonably impressive. If a guy looked like he was from the other end of the spectrum realistically he probably isn't going to last long.

Last year I had laser eye surgery done (LASEK), the results were and still are amazing and I'm glad to get rid of those damn glasses I had to start wearing from when I was around 15/16. I probably look better for it as well as for most people I think it's rarely a good look.

Since then I have been working out though that's been put on hold a little due to the lockdown and some problems coming up. That's over with now (I hope) so I should be able to get back to it at home with some gym equipment I've bought in.

That said I know there is only so far I can go with it. I don't think surgery would help me out as I would likely end up looking weird and it costing me a lot. I think in general I will have to press on as an everyday looking guy. What I have been looking into is some permanent fillers but it looks like that's best done in the US as the market is totally unregulated in the UK and bad stories are abound. I'm in my early forties but there are of course signs of ageing and they rarely look good. I don't want to kid myself and be one of those guys where some pretty youngish (say late twenties/early thirties) girl hangs out with me and I'm looking a state and past it. It can be why the joke can be on the guy and he gets had over by younger girls.

At the moment though I need to concentrate on building up my finances and situation to be (hopefully) well placed by the time I get back over there.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on May 21, 2020, 01:36:26 AM
I nmanaged to gt hr out of being interested in a guy that only needed a place for his business trips, and th next guy was the jackpot for her.The thing is that someone who can look at you sideways often manages to find a better match.
So let me inform you about the mind of a woman, even though I do not claim to be an expert here.  What does a (pretty) woman look for?
Pretty women will not be that impressed by looks or money. They can use it, especially if they hae a character that allows them to. But any pretty woman has enough good looking men interest as well as mn throwing money at her. Being one of them will not get you a lot further than sharing some intimate moment.What you need to offer is stability and a comfortable future. Remember afte some tim she will only be as pretty as hr mother and grandmother, which means your bond should by then not be based on looks alone.Impress her by showing you are reliable and smart enough to build a future with. Be aware tat you will need to guide her while adjusting to a new country, and with FSU women you should not expect her to be your main income or retirement plan. You are the one making decisions, you are the provider and  alpha in your family. You should earn and keep her respect, else you may end up with having to start over.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 21, 2020, 02:57:19 AM
Be aware tat you will need to guide her while adjusting to a new country, and with FSU women you should not expect her to be your main income or retirement plan. You are the one making decisions, you are the provider and  alpha in your family. You should earn and keep her respect, else you may end up with having to start over.

BANG ON
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 21, 2020, 01:30:15 PM
I nmanaged to gt hr out of being interested in a guy that only needed a place for his business trips, and th next guy was the jackpot for her.The thing is that someone who can look at you sideways often manages to find a better match.
So let me inform you about the mind of a woman, even though I do not claim to be an expert here.  What does a (pretty) woman look for?
Pretty women will not be that impressed by looks or money. They can use it, especially if they hae a character that allows them to. But any pretty woman has enough good looking men interest as well as mn throwing money at her. Being one of them will not get you a lot further than sharing some intimate moment.What you need to offer is stability and a comfortable future. Remember afte some tim she will only be as pretty as hr mother and grandmother, which means your bond should by then not be based on looks alone.Impress her by showing you are reliable and smart enough to build a future with. Be aware tat you will need to guide her while adjusting to a new country, and with FSU women you should not expect her to be your main income or retirement plan. You are the one making decisions, you are the provider and  alpha in your family. You should earn and keep her respect, else you may end up with having to start over.

I see your point Shadow, that someone else can see the way that most others are likely to perceive you/I. Whereas it's not always easy to be introspective and see everything that others see. That they may see where two people are likely to fit together well personality wise, etc. It could be an interesting way forward on this. Someone who comes across as decent and reliable but not in love may be a better matchmaker than a partner.

Well my original idea was that after learning the language a bit the girl could take on a part time job and she could keep that money to pay for anything she wanted, clothes etc. The Kherson girl rejected this, she was willing to have children but apparently the money earning was solely to be down to me with her spending it, lol. Since then though I have come around to the idea of a girl not working, if she does the domestic stuff then her having a part time job might be more trouble than it's worth. In the UK a lot of stuff is on the state, healthcare, dentistry for kids, education, etc so I could probably manage ok with it. The Kherson girl was basically model like, capable of scores of a good 9 on photofeeler on some of her photos. I think any guy would have big hang ups of her straying and other guys on the pick up. It basically broke down though as she wouldn't accept that as a young girl in a low paid job I couldn't get her a tourist visa. She wanted to come to the UK first and refused to see me in her hometown of Kherson until she visited me first.

I didn't take that as a good sign, I tried to find other compromises like another country but she wouldn't accept that. It was all a bit perculiar really I never really could work out if she was being true or not. There were signs that she was into the prospect of a relationship with me, stuff she said, etc that I don't think a girl just after a guy to buy her stuff would have said. I think her main problem was that she was too stubborn in her ways and I made mistakes in handling her.

I've no doubt guys with money & good looks would be lining up to date her in this country. She even had a few 'I would date her' comments on her photos on photofeeler. I thought yeah that sounds about right, lol. I think you could be quite right though Shadow a girl that knows she can rely on you, that you can consistently provide and lead the way may be more comforting to her to a good looking or wealthy guy that can only offer that one thing.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on May 21, 2020, 01:39:13 PM
While I did not read all details, you should be happy you dropped the Kherson girl. Any girl that prefers to travel abroad with you before meeting where her friends and family can meet you is likely not ever going to let you meet them. You might be a guy she likes enough to spend some time with, but not for keeping.Her reactions show tat she has either been damaged or is used to play the games.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 21, 2020, 02:04:32 PM
While I did not read all details, you should be happy you dropped the Kherson girl. Any girl that prefers to travel abroad with you before meeting where her friends and family can meet you is likely not ever going to let you meet them. You might be a guy she likes enough to spend some time with, but not for keeping.Her reactions show tat she has either been damaged or is used to play the games.

Yeah that's what I thought that I would probably unlikely meet her/her family's in Kherson even after she came to see me in the UK (not that, that was possible due to visa regs of course). She accused me of having a family and being a married man, etc. In fairness I had not yet shown her photos of my house (it's a small terrace) which she had asked to see but in total we had only spent two weeks together and I never thought it a big deal but perhaps she read into it thinking I was married, I told her I was single and not married but she wouldn't accept it.

So I wonder if she is damaged goods having been hurt by previous relationships. The only previous relationship she told me about was with a single Swedish guy who had a couple of kids. All she said about him was that he treated her like a child, lol. I wonder how that all went down.

On all her social media she has many photos of herself, her with other girls, her friends presumably but none of other guys anywhere. I've heard that FSW don't really have male friends, they are either dating them or it's just girl friends. I know she made a comment on one of her social media about preferring to keep her relationship life private. In the past year or so she has not posted any new photos which is kind of strange. I know she is still going but for a very pretty girl she definitely seems a strange one. I struggle to work her out.

She apparently lives in a small two room flat sharing it with her older brother and his other half who also has a kid. She showed me photos of them but no sign of them on social media at all or any other of her family, mother or father. She's on VK, Facebook, Instagram & OK, but pretty much the same stuff on each. I can't really fathom why such a pretty girl is (presumably) still single. I know it's a poor area and she may have high hopes but I would have thought one guy would have taken her on and she find him acceptable enough. I wonder though if a lot of guys pass over on her seeing her as too high maintenance and prefer to settle with a girl that they see as more suitable/serious for setting up a family with in terms of being less strain of finances.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 21, 2020, 10:57:14 PM
While I did not read all details, you should be happy you dropped the Kherson girl. Any girl that prefers to travel abroad with you before meeting where her friends and family can meet you is likely not ever going to let you meet them. You might be a guy she likes enough to spend some time with, but not for keeping.Her reactions show tat she has either been damaged or is used to play the games.

'OK'..

I invited V to Cyprus in December, because we were having unseasonably good weather and she came from Siberia .. I paid for the ticket.

Remarkably, she invited  me back to Siberia in February ..

Gosh, we even married ..


I believe you might be suggesting paying for holidays to exotic locations for a first meeting ... with which I'd tend to agree is not a good plan ... 
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 21, 2020, 11:56:56 PM
Second meet Mobers, I went with her to Cyprus for the second meet, the first meet was in Kiev, unless you're suggesting Kiev is exotic ;D

I should of gone to her hometown first and foremost, mistake done.

However, the hang up I'm left with is why is a model looking girl not able to get a local guy?

She's in her late twenties now and it still looks like she isn't in a permanent relationship with someone, i.e Married. That is very perculiar to me. I'm sure if she was married that would be all over her social media pages.

I've thought a lot on this and I've come to the conclusion that she is with local guys the same as she was with me. That she demands stuff, keeps in bugging them for it, they at some point refuse to buy her anymore stuff and the relationship descends into argument and ends quickly because of it. She is a shop worker girl that only earns around $150-180 ish a month or so I am told. So low paid and so looks to guys to buy her the stuff she craves. I know Krimster told us before that he found pretty much each girl he met had a weakness for something, hers I believe is clothes.

So she doesn't earn enough to move elsewhere. She just earns enough to pay for her food extra a month, so living from month to month, hand to mouth existence. I know the first girl I met in Kiev was telling me how she would like to move out of Mariupol to a better provincial city but it was money she didn't have, at least not at that time, she worked in a travel agency.

So anyway, I'm guessing apart from apparently long hours that she does at work she may have occasional short term relationships. That apart from the local relationships that don't work out that she may be has casual relationships where a guy will treat her for a bit, she gives him some and then they both move on, possibly.

Either way were probably talking of a lot of very short term relationships over a period of years that don't go nowhere. There's basically a lot of competition around from pretty girls that while might not be very pretty model like don't whine on incessantly at the guy to buy them stuff. Hence their relationships last, hers don't. She basically can't move off the need for wanting stuff as soon as she gets with a guy and that ruins the relationship. I don't think it's a thought pattern she can get away from and may not even realise that trying to hit a guy for stuff so early on that she is ruining the relationship. I would put this down to her kind of arbitary stubborn streak where she literally thinks 'Its the guy that is supposed to provide this' so hits him with it from the word go not accepting that it's not supposed to literally mean from the start of dating together. She probably wants to see a guy is good for it of course so again doesn't want to wait it out for a guy that may not be. She's a hot girl so figures she's worth it.


I think there we have it guys. I know in one of the vids I watched on You Tube a guy in Nikoleav was complaining how materialistic many if the women were that they are not wife material, he was of course not the most productive looking guy though. Anyway I'm pretty sure I've cracked it in my thought process there. The local guys don't see her as wife material because of her constant asking for stuff is incompatible with wanting a girl to have kids with as the money can't go on loads of clothes & stuff. So she is seen at best as a fun time girl and at worst and probably most often as an unwanted drain on finances that can't be kept up. I think the way she is and the rigidness which she applies the gender role models to suit her wants is why she keeps falling down.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on May 22, 2020, 01:05:50 AM
What you are forgetting is that you have only information of a very small portion of her life. What her life really is like you may have no idea at all. This is why it is important that you are let in to her everyday surroundings. FSUW are masters in hiding their reality and disclosing only on a need to know basis.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2020, 07:46:19 AM
What you are forgetting is that you have only information of a very small portion of her life. What her life really is like you may have no idea at all. This is why it is important that you are let in to her everyday surroundings. FSUW are masters in hiding their reality and disclosing only on a need to know basis.

I see you have gained much wisdom on the ways of FSW Shadow. She told me some stuff of her life and I saw a few photos of her brother, other half and their young son who she lived with in the two room flat. Her mother lived separate just a bit out of the city. She never showed me any photos of her mother or father though. I showed her some of my family, brother, mother I think. She told me she didn't really get in with her brother & especially not his other half. So I guess the situation in the flat was a bit too cosy for all concerned. She liked children though apparently and seemed to like their young son I think it was or possibly a daughter, 5ish maybe.

Anyway, I found it kind of perplexing that she was being so rigid on the way it all went down if her living situation wasn't all that great. I know when we agreed in Kiev what to do she asked me to promise, which I did, but I didn't read into it that it was a rigid process whereby I couldn't add anything in between like a visit to her. If a tourist visa was easy to get for her I would have done so, but it's virtually impossible for a young girl in low paid work and even trying would be much effort and more money. Seemed reasonable to come and see her first. I want expecting to see her family but she mentioned them so maybe it was an essential in her mind. I think she might not have been able to figure out why else I would want to visit. It could be that she had a very specific idea on how things would be done/progress and me other ideas.

Anyhow, the meeting in their own city certainly isn't a mistake I am willing to remake, just too much time & effort put in to just risk it all falling apart. I've learnt a lot from the experience, the character of some FSW, not as much as you of course but learning how they are can help avoid future mistakes I think.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 22, 2020, 09:18:47 AM
FSUW are masters in hiding their reality and disclosing only on a need to know basis.

Huh? We really are living in parallel Universes... I have yet to meet any FSUW who behaved in such manner.

May be your due diligence  or spicy senses needed tuning.

You clearly  had then set right re your good lady.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2020, 02:53:07 PM
Huh? We really are living in parallel Universes... I have yet to meet any FSUW who behaved in such manner.

May be your due diligence  or spicy senses needed tuning.

You clearly  had then set right re your good lady.

I think it's the case where it depends upon the FSW. The FSU is a vast territory, even Ukraine alone is fairly large and has the difference of west Ukrainians and east Ukrainians then everything in between.

Having read more into the history of Ukraine in recent times and the different tribes and ethnic groups that moved in over time people there can exhibit different attitudes and behaviours. Then of course there is the Soviet legacy and it's aftermath.

Having done some brief research into the various tribes & ethnic groups I believe Kherson girl could very likely have once come from a family of the Tartar ethnic group. Her look, attitude and behaviours tend to fit with those that are common to that ethnic group/tribe. She is of course not Islamic but instead Orthodox and she speaks Russian and identifies as Russian/Ukrainian Russian. She has a similar facial shape to a lot of tartar people. She is of white skin tone while tartar people can also be white but perhaps more often slightly swarthy in skin tone. Her hair like most tartar people is a rich dark brown. She has a colourful taste in clothing and is sensitive about her skin (fussy I would say ;) ) Similar again to tartar women often holding similar attitudes to sensitivities to skin and historically how they dressed is colourful clothing. She may not even realise it herself but I'm guessing that there is a strong chance she is descended from someone(s) who were originally tartar that or at the very least it became a learned way for many people around that area.

Tartar people are/were of course mainly in the nearby Crimea region and many lived there before Stalin deported them to the Asian part of the Soviet Union. Many Tartar girls seem to share the same features and I reckon are probably prettier than average on the whole. Unfortunately most girls that still identify as Tartar are part of the Islamic faith. That's not something I have any personal grudge against but I know it would not be a scene I would feel comfortable in so it's a no go for me.

I personally find the history of the Crimean Khanate facinating and the Mongol & Cossack, etc influence in that. It's certainly a rich history and gives the area and Ukraine in general it's own identity separate from Russia. I love seeing all the curious Cossack type of gear from olden times they used to wear and the hair stylings that went with it. It's quite a unique look.

Anyway kind of a shame that the Crimes area is now under Russian control and apparently suffering once again. Peace talks are up again but I don't know if they will come to much or involve Crimea. I've never visited there but would like to some day I think. Presently though I hear it's not the easiest place to go do dating, virus or not.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on May 22, 2020, 05:18:22 PM
Tatar, not Tartar. 


The rest of your post is absolute gibberish, with no basis in reality.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2020, 05:35:08 PM
Tatar, not Tartar. 


The rest of your post is absolute gibberish, with no basis in reality.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

Well there kind of tarts so it goes better ;D
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 23, 2020, 12:15:42 AM
Tatar, not Tartar. 

For some reason, it IS 'OK' in English to write 'Tartar'  .. I wish Sandro was around to confirm / correct but it derives from Tartaria , Latin.. 

The rest of your post is absolute gibberish, with no basis in reality.


What is bizarre, is that even when folks sometimes do not quote Trench, I still see of of his posts !!

I note he still writes excuses like someone needing to hit a word target for an essay .. I'd give him a D- for his argument and  content.

1/ It was POLICY of Imperial and Soviet Moscow to 'Russify' conquered territory and a lot of attitudes / customs from that 'Russification' are prevalent across the FSU.

2/ Nationalism and Identity of the former Soviet Republics has re-emerged and your Miss Kherson would not remember Soviet times, and would have been amongst the first to be taught Ukrainian history

3/ Many FSU folk  are an exotic mix of previous conquerors and may have palish skin, but if the sun hits, they often tan with ease. 


Trench is fixated by Miss Kherson and ignored all the advice given and here we are ( AGAIN ) with him drawing members who've not seen all this before into 'advising' him as to his fail technique.

Trench doesn't learn is THE conclusion .. 



Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 23, 2020, 01:14:26 AM
For some reason, it IS 'OK' in English to write 'Tartar'  .. I wish Sandro was around to confirm / correct but it derives from Tartaria , Latin.. 

Or just Tarts for short :D Ah, Tartaria, the land of tarts, lol.

I never in my wildest dreams thought to see me Mobers come out and back me up on this one :)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 23, 2020, 01:18:10 AM
Or just Tarts for short :D Ah, Tartaria, the land of tarts, lol.

I never in my wildest dreams thought to see me Mobers come out and back me up on this one :)

On the other hand, I quite expected you'd indulge in Trench 'humour'  :puke:

Yup, the 'bug' is back .... I see Trench's posts when he quotes me  :popcorn:
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on May 23, 2020, 02:53:30 AM
Huh? We really are living in parallel Universes... I have yet to meet any FSUW who behaved in such manner.

May be your due diligence  or spicy senses needed tuning.

You clearly  had then set right re your good lady.
I married one who behaved like this, and met many more.Guess one of the reasons of our differences it the different circles we move in. ;D
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 23, 2020, 03:05:08 AM
I married one who behaved like this, and met many more.Guess one of the reasons of our differences it the different circles we move in. ;D

 :shock: :tongueout: :truce:
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 23, 2020, 08:52:05 AM
On the other hand, I quite expected you'd indulge in Trench 'humour'  :puke:

Yup, the 'bug' is back .... I see Trench's posts when he quotes me  :popcorn:

That's wonderful news Mobers!!! Go on admit it you've been missing me :luv:
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 23, 2020, 09:01:43 AM

1/ It was POLICY of Imperial and Soviet Moscow to 'Russify' conquered territory and a lot of attitudes / customs from that 'Russification' are prevalent across the FSU.

3/ Many FSU folk  are an exotic mix of previous conquerors and may have palish skin, but if the sun hits, they often tan with ease. 

Indeed, Kherson girl tanned real nicely on the beach in Cyprus and it stayed. It was scorching hot and I quite rightly took shelter completely under a beach parasol lounger. I put on sun block and  kept my t-shirt on too a lot or put it on top of me but still caught some sun burning. Unfortunately I peel like a banana, miss Kherson I noticed did not.

It wouldn't surprise me if miss Kherson ancestors were Russified along the way.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 24, 2020, 03:37:28 PM
Hmmnn, I get the impression that my miss Kherson may not get on all that well with several members of her family, even her friends might be cautious of her. She can be quite pleasant in some ways but I think her attitude and materialistic ways may let her down and may be a problem for many people that come into contact with her.

What do you guys reckon about girls that are at the top end on the looks scale of around 9-10?

Do they nearly always have a bad attitude because of it? Or just a certain number of them? Are girls that are a pretty 7-8 in the FSU  a better bet for settling down with? Less attitude/character problems?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on May 24, 2020, 04:42:53 PM
What do you reckon about men who earn less than the average wage in their countries?


Do they always have a bad attitude because of it?  Are they less desirable as life partners because they probably lack ambition or goals?


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: mhr7 on May 24, 2020, 06:20:05 PM
Hmmnn, I get the impression that my miss Kherson may not get on all that well with several members of her family, even her friends might be cautious of her. She can be quite pleasant in some ways but I think her attitude and materialistic ways may let her down and may be a problem for many people that come into contact with her.

What do you guys reckon about girls that are at the top end on the looks scale of around 9-10?

Do they nearly always have a bad attitude because of it? Or just a certain number of them? Are girls that are a pretty 7-8 in the FSU  a better bet for settling down with? Less attitude/character problems?

5200 posts, 4-10 trips, a million questions and you are still the densest person I've ever come across.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 24, 2020, 09:37:22 PM
What do you reckon about men who earn less than the average wage in their countries?


Do they always have a bad attitude because of it?  Are they less desirable as life partners because they probably lack ambition or goals?


This post was composed without the aid of google.

I can see my question has upset you Boe. You know if the economy tanks it I am likely as a consequence be average or above average in earnings compared to the rest of the country :D

To be honest my question was not so much about Kherson girl but about people in general. Do such traits come with being on the very pretty end or are they genetic? Would any children with such a girl who also turn out to be very pretty have the same attitude or can corrective behaviour teaching from parents change this?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BillyB on May 24, 2020, 09:55:01 PM
What do you guys reckon about girls that are at the top end on the looks scale of around 9-10?

Do they nearly always have a bad attitude because of it?



Some of them girls get a lot of attention so they have an attitude to turn the majority of men off. If they think you're a quality man, they aren't going to want to turn you off with bad attitude.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 25, 2020, 02:01:23 AM

Some of them girls get a lot of attention so they have an attitude to turn the majority of men off. If they think you're a quality man, they aren't going to want to turn you off with bad attitude.

I think you're right Billy, but could such a girl take it so far that she ends up without a life partner because she sees none of the men around her as passing the bar? Kherson girl for example, I mean looking at videos on You Tube a lot of the outskirts of Kherson look pretty grotty. There are some nice rural houses and natural nature scenery out there but I'm guessing on the whole it's pretty poor prospects for men. Kherson girl said that all the men left weren't suitable, they were drug users, low life's, probably gopniks, etc. I'm guessing her attitude turned off all the other men the family oriented ones. My thought is they didn't really care if a girl is very pretty, just a pretty one will do without the attitude. I would wonder if I got a very pretty girl and had children that were very pretty would the same happen again? That even in a more wealthy country their attitude would be so bad as to end up without being able to find someone.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on May 25, 2020, 04:06:46 AM
What do you reckon about men who earn less than the average wage in their countries?

In Trench's case this is deliberate... so LAZY ?

Do they always have a bad attitude because of it? 

In Trench's case..Yup

Are they less desirable as life partners because they probably lack ambition or goals?

..and it's been working out SO well for Trench

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 25, 2020, 04:46:50 AM
In Trench's case this is deliberate... so LAZY ?

In Trench's case..Yup

..and it's been working out SO well for Trench

I hear what Boethius is saying Move, that women want men that can provide a comfortable lifestyle & status for them OR a man who has the ambition/potential to get there.

That is what women are like the world over. Less attractive women will in most instances settle for less but does a guy want so less of an attractive woman. I could have settled for women at home that I was not into/did not find attractive, I could have settled for fat women that were an instant turn off to me no matter how much I tried I just wouldn't be able to stomach it.

Many women will go for the guy who is 'mouth, mouth, mouth' about what he will do. I quietly laugh to myself whenever I see a girl being taken in by it. I know she is buying into the bull and the guy almost certainly won't deliver. He doesn't have what it takes up top he is just all mouth. I on the other hand would rather not mouth on, I know what I need to do and how to get there. When the time is right I will be where I want to be.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: fathertime on May 25, 2020, 06:20:49 AM
That's wonderful news Mobers!!! Go on admit it you've been missing me :luv:
Still a chance you can bunk near mooby and drain a squirt of green milk from his moob!

Fathertime!   
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BillyB on May 25, 2020, 08:27:58 AM
such a girl take it so far that she ends up without a life partner because she sees none of the men around her as passing the bar?


It's possible. Both men and women have a checklist of requirements on what they want from a life partner. I know a few guys who insisted they won't get together with a girl unless she meets their list of requirements and the list is long. I usually tell them they'll probably never get married with a list like that. After people watch opportunity pass by and getting 20 years older and uglier, they shorten their list but by that time, most of the quality people are taken so they'll settle for less.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 26, 2020, 01:29:57 AM
Still a chance you can bunk near mooby and drain a squirt of green milk from his moob!

Fathertime!   
Indeed Fathertime, that moob milk is sweet nectar full of antibodies of Oirish antagonism that are enough to see off any virus or anything else for that matter ;D
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on May 26, 2020, 01:34:35 AM
I hear what Boethius is saying Move, that women want men that can provide a comfortable lifestyle & status for them OR a man who has the ambition/potential to get there.


That's not at all what I am saying.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 26, 2020, 01:52:22 AM
It's possible. Both men and women have a checklist of requirements on what they want from a life partner. I know a few guys who insisted they won't get together with a girl unless she meets their list of requirements and the list is long. I usually tell them they'll probably never get married with a list like that. After people watch opportunity pass by and getting 20 years older and uglier, they shorten their list but by that time, most of the quality people are taken so they'll settle for less.

I agree, or they can't settle at all I guess and never get with anyone. On further thought though on my experiences with people I've met/seen I reckon it's something that can occur whatever level of attractiveness looks wise a person is.

Thinking it through odds are I'm guessing is that people on the ugly end or very pretty end probably find it hardest to find dates, just based on looks alone of course. Ugly people will need to find another ugly person who is willing to accept them. Very pretty people will want to find another very pretty person as they are not so willing to accept less attractive average looking people or even just pretty looking people. Most people apparently fall into the everyday looking type of slot, I do, but people at either end are a smaller group by comparison.

Other factors come into play of course, how socialable a person is, personality/attitude, wealth, physical form, intelligence, etc and how much a person is attracted to that stuff. In theory a very pretty person has a lot of choice but they could quite likely choose to restrict themselves, not realise their non looks shortcomings or just can't come to terms with going for less attractive people. Ugly looking people probably struggle a lot to find someone as most will avoid, maybe even some other ugly looking people and that is before any other character traits are taken into account.

All in all I reckon being a very attractive person is still a preferable option not that there tends to be much choice in the matter. A shot at living the high life and having people treat you well, not always of course but in general and having many options is no doubt preferable to looking like an everyday person with no special advantage. I reckon being in a wealthy country in the west gives far more opportunities to an attractive person than an attractive person in Ukraine/FSU, hence I guess why so many girls that do FSU dating are on the pretty end or above, other than above average local supply of course.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 26, 2020, 01:53:23 AM

That's not at all what I am saying.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
.

Then what are you saying?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 01, 2020, 02:02:32 AM
Felt the need to update this thread. Well it appears Kherson girl may have her Achilles heel. On one of her photos on Photofeeler she just got around a 4 and a half after 20 or so votes. That's quite a turn around as all her other photos are high scores. The main difference seems to be that this was more close up than the other photos. Now in pretty much all regards she is model like but she does have a not quite so well formed nose end, nothing horrific or real bad but close up it would make her less attractive looking to many guys. It doesn't bother me so much, she still look pretty attractive even with it. It doesn't stand out a mile just when up close of say up to a couple of meters or so away. In a lot of guys mind though even a small defect can be a big thing/turn off.

Admittedly if it were fixed she would be a 9 in looks at any distance. As it is though she is only a 9 from a distance away where the slight nose defect can't clearly be seen. That's no good for relationships though where being up close is part of it all of course. I've no doubt she wouldn't be able to afford the rhinoplasty to get a nose job done on it but if she did she would then be a 9 at any distance. That of course would mean she would be well out of my league at present. So I'm guessing that's it, that is what turns enough guys off locally along with her material ways/attitude and probably some disarray over what guy she could get. Being between the two stools looks wise means she probably has at least somewhat high expectations but they never match up to the offering. Her family & friends probably tell her it doesn't matter so as to not hurt her feelings. It shouldn't do to a large extent but for the guys she is interested in at the top end it no doubt does. It's quite a shame for her as otherwise she would probably get all what she wants in life, it's just one step away from being a top model looking girl and that must be a real sucker.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on June 01, 2020, 03:34:54 PM
Why are you stalking her?  It's unhealthy.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 01, 2020, 04:12:55 PM
Why are you stalking her?  It's unhealthy.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

I'm not stalking her, that's a physical thing. I have many, many photos that she had sent me and that I took off her during our time together. I have merely set out to try to work out what I find a perculiar situation. I now feel that I have as full an answer on the situation. She would be totally unaware of anything so it's no bother to her. I have a better understanding of it all as a result of doing all of this.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: SteveInBoston on June 01, 2020, 06:19:40 PM
That is creepy.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Nightwish on June 02, 2020, 02:28:35 AM
I'm not stalking her, that's a physical thing. I have many, many photos that she had sent me and that I took off her during our time together. I have merely set out to try to work out what I find a perculiar situation. I now feel that I have as full an answer on the situation. She would be totally unaware of anything so it's no bother to her. I have a better understanding of it all as a result of doing all of this.

so you are using someone else pictures you been sent privately while being in a "relationship" and upload them on a site where she has no control over them?

f*****g creep!
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on June 02, 2020, 03:42:28 AM
I'm not stalking her, that's a physical thing. I have many, many photos that she had sent me and that I took off her during our time together. I have merely set out to try to work out what I find a perculiar situation. I now feel that I have as full an answer on the situation. She would be totally unaware of anything so it's no bother to her. I have a better understanding of it all as a result of doing all of this.
Do you really think it can not hurt or bother her?
How about her being in a new relationship and the guy using Google, finding by accident many pictures of her that she claims to know nothing about.Remove any picture of her that she has not uploaded on the internet herself, and use any ictures or information wisely.


Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 02, 2020, 04:42:44 AM
so you are using someone else pictures you been sent privately while being in a "relationship" and upload them on a site where she has no control over them?

f*****g creep!

No let me explain, these photos are only temporarily on a site in which people rate them. After they rate them they don't see them no more. After the voting has finished no one else will see them anymore. So only about 10-20 people will see a particular photo posted up. I have only posted up a handful. Some of these photos can be found on her social media anyway. It really is a minimally invasive procedure.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 02, 2020, 04:51:17 AM
Do you really think it can not hurt or bother her?
How about her being in a new relationship and the guy using Google, finding by accident many pictures of her that she claims to know nothing about.Remove any picture of her that she has not uploaded on the internet herself, and use any ictures or information wisely.

So yes following on from my reply to Nightwish these photos are only up for a brief minimal time and only to an incredibly tiny amount of people on this planet, those that are signed up to and voting on Photofeeler where she happens to come up. Googling would not reveal these images except for those she posts up herself on social media and the like. Even if someone she knew was using Photofeeler which is highly unlikely in the FSU as it's a western app little known to them the odds off them being on at the same time & voting and her image coming up are amazingly small. The research gained though can be invaluable. If she knew about it she would probably be pleased and interested herself to know particularly if pleasing scores. Many women in the FSU like to show off and model themselves the girl in question being no exception so I don't think it's something they would take offense to as can be the case in the West.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on June 02, 2020, 05:06:28 AM
So yes following on from my reply to Nightwish these photos are only up for a brief minimal time and only to an incredibly tiny amount of people on this planet, those that are signed up to and voting on Photofeeler where she happens to come up. Googling would not reveal these images except for those she posts up herself on social media and the like. Even if someone she knew was using Photofeeler which is highly unlikely in the FSU as it's a western app little known to them the odds off them being on at the same time & voting and her image coming up are amazingly small. The research gained though can be invaluable. If she knew about it she would probably be pleased and interested herself to know particularly if pleasing scores. Many women in the FSU like to show off and model themselves the girl in question being no exception so I don't think it's something they would take offense to as can be the case in the West.
Understand that   new Relationship would be with  Western man, which is why using a non-FSU app is even worse. If you think she would be pleased, just inform her of your actions. Should you be visited by some Boris in order to delete all pics forcefully do not blame it on me.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 02, 2020, 06:09:43 AM
Understand that   new Relationship would be with  Western man, which is why using a non-FSU app is even worse. If you think she would be pleased, just inform her of your actions. Should you be visited by some Boris in order to delete all pics forcefully do not blame it on me.

Lol, well I don't think is looking for a western man anymore. Judging by her social media I don't think she has found anyone locally either. When I knew her she told me she worked many hours in a retail store and I would guess she still does. Probably only so many opportunities for better jobs out Kherson way and a lot of the better pay would probably be the guys.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on June 02, 2020, 09:08:17 AM
Sadly, quoting Trench allows me to ( sometimes ) see his guff and now I realise he IS fixated with Miss Kherson ...

Look, as someone who has been fixated with a partner ( well, Wife) that no longer finds you flavour of the month, take my advice ... Delete EVERY photo of her and don't try to follow her life..it's not healthy

I could NEARLY get it if you'd been married and she was saying bad stuff about you, but it's YOU that is following her around, whilst telling us all the reasons why 'she's bad' and it didn't work out ..

We are friends with folk from Kherson who ( when allowed to travel ) normally live in Sochi ...but got stuck there during a visit to family in Kherson ...  They ain't rich, but I'd trust the lady to look after a valuable heirloom over most folk ...

Trench chose unwisely,  in his words .... perhaps she was unwise ..




 
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: SteveInBoston on June 02, 2020, 10:08:21 AM
No let me explain, these photos are only temporarily on a site in which people rate them. After they rate them they don't see them no more. After the voting has finished no one else will see them anymore. So only about 10-20 people will see a particular photo posted up. I have only posted up a handful. Some of these photos can be found on her social media anyway. It really is a minimally invasive procedure.

This, and you stalking her on social media, is pathetic.  Creepy and pathetic.  Please get counseling.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 02, 2020, 11:02:38 AM
Sadly, quoting Trench allows me to ( sometimes ) see his guff and now I realise he IS fixated with Miss Kherson ...

Look, as someone who has been fixated with a partner ( well, Wife) that no longer finds you flavour of the month, take my advice ... Delete EVERY photo of her and don't try to follow her life..it's not healthy

I could NEARLY get it if you'd been married and she was saying bad stuff about you, but it's YOU that is following her around, whilst telling us all the reasons why 'she's bad' and it didn't work out ..

We are friends with folk from Kherson who ( when allowed to travel ) normally live in Sochi ...but got stuck there during a visit to family in Kherson ...  They ain't rich, but I'd trust the lady to look after a valuable heirloom over most folk ...

Trench chose unwisely,  in his words .... perhaps she was unwise ..

Mobe, you're back! Boy I've missed you!!! I believe I've developed something akin to Stockholm Syndrome since you've been following me around so long ;D

Well things have changed a lot in the world since your ex-wife Mobers. There's stuff you can learn about a relationship, that can help you understand the wider picture. Information Technology is now more developed than it once was.

Am I fixated on her? To some extent yes, for two reasons:

1). I wanted to find out what the craziness of the situation all meant. It has taken a good deal of time and searching but I've pretty much done this now.

2). She's hot. Not in all respects as explained but in most. I wanted to understand this better too and again now I pretty much have.

To my mind if you have an experience worth learning from then learn as much as you can. Being reasonable in doing this of course should be the case. End of the day I didn't hire private detectives or anything I just used what was mostly public domain material.

I'm sure most of Kherson people are decent people. The last day I was with her in Cyprus I had my Samsung Galaxy Tablet out I recently purchased with keys in Russian as well as English. I had bought it a few weeks ago for a few hundred pounds, it was the latest version at the time (6 I think it was). Anyway without me saying anything she motioned and said 'a present for me' lol. Don't worry I of course said no. To me that told me everything I needed to know in terms of her not being a good girl.

The pity of it for her is, is that she is not now that far of 30 and she ruined a good chance to get away from all that she disliked of her life in Kherson. She could have had a good life with me and vice versa but through acting badly she gave up on all of that.

Unless she gets real lucky or settles for a lot less locally she is going to be one of those women eating cat food in old age in order to get by.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Nightwish on June 02, 2020, 11:19:09 AM
Mobe, you're back! Boy I've missed you!!! I believe I've developed something akin to Stockholm Syndrome since you've been following me around so long ;D

Well things have changed a lot in the world since your ex-wife Mobers. There's stuff you can learn about a relationship, that can help you understand the wider picture. Information Technology is now more developed than it once was.

Am I fixated on her? To some extent yes, for two reasons:

1). I wanted to find out what the craziness of the situation all meant. It has taken a good deal of time and searching but I've pretty much done this now.

2). She's hot. Not in all respects as explained but in most. I wanted to understand this better too and again now I pretty much have.

To my mind if you have an experience worth learning from then learn as much as you can. Being reasonable in doing this of course should be the case. End of the day I didn't hire private detectives or anything I just used what was mostly public domain material.

I'm sure most of Kherson people are decent people. The last day I was with her in Cyprus I had my Samsung Galaxy Tablet out I recently purchased with keys in Russian as well as English. I had bought it a few weeks ago for a few hundred pounds, it was the latest version at the time (6 I think it was). Anyway without me saying anything she motioned and said 'a present for me' lol. Don't worry I of course said no. To me that told me everything I needed to know in terms of her not being a good girl.

The pity of it for her is, is that she is not now that far of 30 and she ruined a good chance to get away from all that she disliked of her life in Kherson. She could have had a good life with me and vice versa but through acting badly she gave up on all of that.

Unless she gets real lucky or settles for a lot less locally she is going to be one of those women eating cat food in old age in order to get by.

No, she could have been in an abusive relationship with a controlling creepy dude that could not even take care of her basic needs in life.
She REALLY dodged a bullet there...
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 02, 2020, 12:40:17 PM
No, she could have been in an abusive relationship with a controlling creepy dude that could not even take care of her basic needs in life.
She REALLY dodged a bullet there...

Ooo... That's harsh Nightwish. You know the British State Pension is quite generous. No need for her to buy cat food on that :)

I don't do too bad either, I live in my own house all paid up for, no mortgage. Better that shooting it out in a room of a cramped shared flat with other family members she apparently did not get on with. Though judging by the way she treated me I can perhaps see why they don't.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Nightwish on June 02, 2020, 12:48:52 PM
Ooo... That's harsh Nightwish. You know the British State Pension is quite generous. No need for her to buy cat food on that :)

I don't do too bad either, I live in my own house all paid up for, no mortgage. Better that shooting it out in a room of a cramped shared flat with other family members she apparently did not get on with. Though judging by the way she treated me I can perhaps see why they don't.

Your financial situation is not your biggest issue, it is a big problem yes - or in your case a very small problem, hence it being a problem

I seen bigger issues than that from your posts
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on June 02, 2020, 01:47:55 PM
The pity of it for her is, is that she is not now that far of 30 and she ruined a good chance to get away from all that she disliked of her life in Kherson. She could have had a good life with me and vice versa but through acting badly she gave up on all of that.

Unless she gets real lucky or settles for a lot less locally she is going to be one of those women eating cat food in old age in order to get by.
Do not worry. Once borders re-open and flights are possible she will get out----if she desires to do so. If you think you are the only creep stalking her you need to get a dose of reality.She understood you are not husband material, or at least were not at the time.If you understand your mistakes there may be someone who thinks you are, but it will take a lot of effort.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 02, 2020, 03:09:18 PM
Do not worry. Once borders re-open and flights are possible she will get out----if she desires to do so. If you think you are the only creep stalking her you need to get a dose of reality.She understood you are not husband material, or at least were not at the time.If you understand your mistakes there may be someone who thinks you are, but it will take a lot of effort.

She apparently earns only around $180 a month. So I doubt she could afford to get to Kiev by train never mind outside Ukraine. Once she got outside Ukraine she would need to pay for accommodation somewhere. Like I said she is model like until you get close then many guys will be put off. If not then there is her attitude that will put them off. If I were to be introspective for a moment I would say I am actually a guy that will put up with a fair bit of sh*t. There's a point of a girl gets Uber insulting that I won't take it out of self respect & pride but generally I'm not one to fly of the handle on any given thing. Many guys I think wouldn't stick around.

So she's basically stuck in Ukraine, her fault really, I tried to accommodate her and tried to make it work, but that proved to be my mistake it seems.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on June 02, 2020, 03:35:01 PM
Ayee, why must I see Trench's bollox when he's on ignore ?

I think most of us have now realised he is beyond hope..   I honestly believe he just posts here for a rise

I'm certain he misled the lass and she led led on. They were as bad as each other ...

One thing I'm sure of .. She won't be checking Trench out to see how he's getting on .... go figure


Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on June 03, 2020, 12:16:55 AM
She apparently earns only around $180 a month. So I doubt she could afford to get to Kiev by train never mind outside Ukraine. Once she got outside Ukraine she would need to pay for accommodation somewhere. Like I said she is model like until you get close then many guys will be put off. If not then there is her attitude that will put them off. If I were to be introspective for a moment I would say I am actually a guy that will put up with a fair bit of sh*t. There's a point of a girl gets Uber insulting that I won't take it out of self respect & pride but generally I'm not one to fly of the handle on any given thing. Many guys I think wouldn't stick around.

So she's basically stuck in Ukraine, her fault really, I tried to accommodate her and tried to make it work, but that proved to be my mistake it seems.
If she is as you describe, I am sure there are at leat 5 guys who are willing to invite her right this moment. Do not fool yourself in thinking that you are the one and only person busy with this.Attrctive women have enough attention both local and international.If he still lives and wrks where she did than that is by choice, not because her only chance ever was denied by her.
The same goes for the next girl you plan to visit. She is probably writing to ten guys while none wil arrive.If you will arrive she may choose you, or also decide you are not the right guy.
Do not buy in to the stories that the women are sitting there waiting for any man to come along and white knight them out of their surroundings.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 03, 2020, 02:51:25 AM
If she is as you describe, I am sure there are at leat 5 guys who are willing to invite her right this moment. Do not fool yourself in thinking that you are the one and only person busy with this.Attrctive women have enough attention both local and international.If he still lives and wrks where she did than that is by choice, not because her only chance ever was denied by her.
The same goes for the next girl you plan to visit. She is probably writing to ten guys while none wil arrive.If you will arrive she may choose you, or also decide you are not the right guy.
Do not buy in to the stories that the women are sitting there waiting for any man to come along and white knight them out of their surroundings.

You're forgetting that she is only a 9 from a distance away, as men get near to her she drops to a 4.5 because of her small nose imperfection. So she ends up a slightly under par woman on looks when she is stood in front of them. This will be a let down to many a guy and that is before you get to her attitude. Now she can be nice but she has a brattish side to her that even if she was a 9 up close that most guys would tire off before long.

For a while after we split, about a year or so she still had her profile on line, but no longer. I believe she struggled to get guys to visit her as she was out in Kherson so well away from Kiev and Odessa so off the beaten track for most western men. Most western men will go to the big airport cities first such as Moscow, St. Pete's, Minsk, Kiev and Odessa. There are many attractive girls there so no need to travel further in their mind. I think she gave up in the end as the number of men that seem reasonable that will travel out there are low/very low.

If you think about it it doesn't take much for a girl with potential Hollywood looks and fame to miss out on the high life due to one or two small factors. For Miss Kherson that was her slight nose imperfection and living in a relatively poor backwater in a relatively poor country. If she had not the imperfection and lived in the West then she would have done well for herself of the ack of that I believe.

As it is now that she is closing in on 30, age will start to degrade the advantages she had. I'm sure she will still be relatively pretty from a distance but even the most pretty girls need to realise utilise their youth and that tends to be before the age of 30.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Shadow on June 03, 2020, 03:03:20 AM
You're forgetting that she is only a 9 from a distance away, as men get near to her she drops to a 4.5 because of her small nose imperfection. So she ends up a slightly under par woman on looks when she is stood in front of them. This will be a let down to many a guy and that is before you get to her attitude. Now she can be nice but she has a brattish side to her that even if she was a 9 up close that most guys would tire off before long.

For a while after we split, about a year or so she still had her profile on line, but no longer. I believe she struggled to get guys to visit her as she was out in Kherson so well away from Kiev and Odessa so off the beaten track for most western men. Most western men will go to the big airport cities first such as Moscow, St. Pete's, Minsk, Kiev and Odessa. There are many attractive girls there so no need to travel further in their mind. I think she gave up in the end as the number of men that seem reasonable that will travel out there are low/very low.

If you think about it it doesn't take much for a girl with potential Hollywood looks and fame to miss out on the high life due to one or two small factors. For Miss Kherson that was her slight nose imperfection and living in a relatively poor backwater in a relatively poor country. If she had not the imperfection and lived in the West then she would have done well for herself of the ack of that I believe.

As it is now that she is closing in on 30, age will start to degrade the advantages she had. I'm sure she will still be relatively pretty from a distance but even the most pretty girls need to realise utilise their youth and that tends to be before the age of 30.
All she needs is a guy who pays for her nose job. You were too greedy.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 03, 2020, 04:29:39 AM
All she needs is a guy who pays for her nose job. You were too greedy.

Greedy? I paid for her first visit to me to Kiev and bought her a few things she asked for, a few items of clothing, etc. I then paid for her to come to Cyprus with me and bought her many more items of clothing, in general mid range fashion brand stuff.

Yes perhaps she needed that most of all, I didn't realise at the time as it didn't bother me that much. I'm not sure if it would be that easy to raise in conversation, she never raised it, she may have not realised that it was likely turning guys off. Russians can be blunt but I think her family & friends would probably not raise it, many would probably not think it a problem either, moreso family & females I would guess.

In any case if I paid for it for her how long do you then think I would last with her? She would be of model looks standard close up somewhere in the direction of most Hollywood Stars that are there mostly because of their looks. I think I would quickly be tossed aside. In her thirties and thereafter it might not be a problem as much as then she's not in her prime even if still very attractive. Nope because of her attitude fate has decided that she will likely see out her days in Kherson and miss all the high life, a great shame for her indeed.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on June 03, 2020, 05:30:13 AM
because of her attitude fate has decided that she will likely see out her days in Kherson and miss all the high life, a great shame for her indeed.

..and you'll keep 'checking up on her', for purely 'scientific' reasons  ...

Now I can see why you're being referred to as a 'creep' and a 'stalker' ..

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on June 03, 2020, 09:56:00 AM
Greedy? I paid for ..................

Shadow was teasing you and you are too sensitive partially because
you are a tightwad even by Dutch standards.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on June 03, 2020, 09:56:15 AM
Ayee, why must I see Trench's bollox when he's on ignore ?

It's a problem with the software. I've previously had members
on ignore and at least a quarter of their posts showed up anyway.

People are relatively easy to ignore, just skip over their posts.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 06, 2020, 05:46:07 AM
It's a problem with the software. I've previously had members
on ignore and at least a quarter of their posts showed up anyway.

People are relatively easy to ignore, just skip over their posts.

Not our Mobe, he's infatuated with me ;D

Besides for an Oirishman skimming past an argument is like walking past a nugget of gold, lol.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on August 09, 2020, 09:38:40 AM

Ok holy thread resurrection here.

I'm posting here in your thread because you and/or Moby take over
every thread on this board.

I think a lot of guys blame themselves on this forum or forum members
blame them if things don't work out, but they neglect to think of the
situation that a lot of the girls they are meeting come from.

I can spot cRaZy from a mile away and I've chatted with many
FSUW who were bAtsH!t cRaZy so I immediately lose their
contact information and move on.

Many men have difficulties dumping hot women, but you have
to do it when you find a woman who has character or psychological 
flaws. You can't fix those things and unless you are a trained
clinical psychologist then why would you even try?
[Note that question is rhetorical]



I think a lot of guys blame themselves on this forum or forum members blame them if things don't work out

When things don't work out and you get back home I understand looking
at what you did analyzing what you did right and what you did wrong,
make corrections and then move on.

That's not what many guys do. They spend far too much time on every
little detail as if they were in a Dan Brown novel. That isn't productive.
You will miss out on finding Ms Right if you spend too much time on
trying to figure out Ms Wrong.

Men have developed 117 generally accepted theories on women and
what makes them tick. Unfortunately they are all wrong.

You will never figure her out so don't try. Work on YOUR strategy,
tactics and techniques, that is something you can truly improve
and it WILL help you next time.

Udachi!

Bill
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on August 09, 2020, 09:50:48 AM
Note: Trench meant this in a different context, but I am using
it to point out a fatal flaw in many of his theories.

I think there are ways to beat the system

Trench, you are trying to skip steps, important steps that can
not and should not be skipped. You must actively pursue and
engage a woman to win her heart and that absolutely must
be done.

You want to skip communicating with FSUW. You want to skip
having Skype/messenger calls with them exploring every facet
of their personality, goals, belief systems and what drives them.
You need insight into them.

You need to win their heart. You need to win their heart.
You need to win their heart. You need to win their heart.
 
Nobody can skip that, especially you can't skip that.

You buy a book on exploring Europe for $5 per day and set up
a budget of $2.5 per day. Stop it!

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Faux Pas on August 09, 2020, 10:34:40 AM

You need to win their heart. You need to win their heart.
You need to win their heart. You need to win their heart.
 
Nobody can skip that, especially you can't skip that.

You buy a book on exploring Europe for $5 per day and set up
a budget of $2.5 per day. Stop it!


 :ROFL:

Classic!
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on August 09, 2020, 02:46:32 PM
I can spot cRaZy from a mile away and I've chatted with many FSUW who were bAtsH!t cRaZy so I immediately lose their contact information and move on.


What, according to you, is crazy?


BTW, Trench, you should not discount the fact that for every crazy or unbalanced FSUW seeking a mate, there is a crazy or unbalanced WM, some of whom have posted on this forum.  It really is a two way street.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on August 09, 2020, 03:01:23 PM
What, according to you, is crazy?

My first wife is paranoid schizophrenic. She is crazy.
There are a number of other mental disorders/psychoses
too many to talk about here.   



Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on August 09, 2020, 05:00:06 PM
So, this ability to 'spot' such ladies is acquired through experience..?... :popcorn:


Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: rwd123 on August 09, 2020, 05:36:03 PM
Many men have difficulties dumping hot women, but you have
to do it when you find a woman who has character or psychological 
flaws
. You can't fix those things and unless you are a trained
clinical psychologist then why would you even try?
[Note that question is rhetorical]
Number one criteria and non-negotiable! Don't get involved with a nut job or with latent issues. It takes a level of experience and conscious effort to identify in some cases. On other occasions it is pretty obvious.

Don't try to be a white knight. A distant family member was young, successful and studying become a doctor. He saw a person drowning in a river. In his attempt to save them he was dragged to his death. That's what you're doing to yourself if you enter a relationship with someone with known issues.

(Yes, men can have similar flaws.)




Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: krimster2 on August 09, 2020, 07:25:51 PM
in America,
you most commonly have to deal with the following disorders fairly routinely
among childless, under 40 yr old women

bi-polar disorder
obsessive compulsive disorder
borderline personality disorder

you can sleep with one for a couple of months, before they have their first melt-down
then you should stop calling after that, and go for a rebound date with someone new
until that one has THEIR melt-down...

or...
I say, ďorĒ

you leave the ďdomestic marketĒ
and go ďEXPORTĒ yourself  to a foreign market
and the more foreign the BETTER
a market that values what ďyouíre sellingĒ because of itís scarcity and uniqueness
compared to your ďnative home marketĒ where what youíre selling is more common and hence less valuable

OK?

I learned at an early age that it was pretty common for foreign women to have a sexual interest in me...

I really suspect it had a lot to do with my appearance
I looked like a blond hair blue eyed Hitler Jugend
and YET...
I was a ďmischlingĒ, a half Jew....
being a ďhalf-breedĒ made me kinda exotic to everyone
both Jew and Gentile
so this became my ticket down lifeís highway

itís also a HUGE PLUS if you are a guy who can speak well, but has an accent
the women will overwhelmingly consider it to be a VERY sexy voice
for me, it was a mild Virginian southern accent
spoken in the UK

or speaking Russian in Russia...
or English in China or Japan
women were just mesmerized by my voice

so, they WANT to go to the cafe and have cake and coffee with me!
the rest after that, is just commentary

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Davo on August 10, 2020, 02:42:05 AM
Trench, I know you have it all worked out, but do you?

Hereís a new plan 😉

http://youtu.be/1Y_6fZGSOQI

All jokes aside iíd adopt Georgeís philosophy. Start with Bills great advice re.... making full use of the tools you have available.... Skype etc...

For a change, why donít you do the opposite and have......

 ďSkype/messenger calls with them exploring every facet
of their personality, goals, belief systems and what drives them.
You need insight into them.

actively pursue and
engage a woman to win her heart and that absolutely must
be done.

You need to win their heart. You need to win their heart.
You need to win their heart.Ē

Honestly if you canít master the online aspect of FSU dating, youíre going to continue to struggle.



Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BC on August 10, 2020, 03:44:56 AM
Trench, I know you know have it all worked out, but do you?

Hereís a new plan 😉


Wow...Perfect!

Guess that finally settles this forum thread and a bunch of others :)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on August 10, 2020, 07:50:04 AM

there are crazy or unbalanced WM

Absolutely there are and there are women who want to take
them home and fix them and they are just as doomed to failure
as men who want to get romantically involved with broken women.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: krimster2 on August 10, 2020, 10:36:51 AM
nawwwww Trench, donít do it that way man
plus gyms are dangerous now...

if Iím in Moscow this winter, ya wanna know what Iím gonna do to stay in shape?
cross-country skiing up and down my driveway and street
use the ski poles a lot more than normal to propel myself instead of gravity
I also found out that I can ice-ski on frozen ponds like this when itís REALLY cold
and the ice is thick and wonít crack when I step on it
Iíve even gone completely across a large pond with just a couple of hard jabs to the ice
right after I freshly waxed my skis
it feels like youíre gliding or ice skating
also, plenty of places to ice skate in Moscva
a lot of the skaters are young women
if you're a trick skater, you will get "looks"
it's a GREAT workout

best way to stay in shape
get some kinda ďphysicalĒ hobby or JOB!!!
and the harder you work
the more you get into shape

for example, learn how to shingle roofs
and have a part-time ďbiznessĒ as a roofing installer/repairer
you only need a couple hundred quid worth of tools and a ladder
and each job could net you a couple thousand quid profit
get up on the roof with your shirt off, while balancing two 80 pound bags of shingles
and then wield a a heavy hammer all day, switching arms
and by summer's end women will gawk at you when you remove your shirt
I feel "so dirty" when they do that...

and do roofing as a ďside gigĒ
and have other side gigs
I totally liked the furniture making idea....
if you ever did a web site about your recreations of Queen Anne period English furniture
I can guarantee you a couple of hundred hot looking women would be talking with you on Instagram...

if you lived your life this way, instead of in a hole
youíd make more money
youíd make more friends
youíd make more girl friends
youíd be a whole heck of a lot happier than you are now
because you're basically not putting ANY effort into your life
in Germany, they used to tell me, "if you want results, you have to work for it"
work for it Trench
and not just complain about it

Trench, do you want ALL the pussy in your area, or just some?
either way listen up

#1 - buy a work truck, 3 ladders, small, medium, large, leather tool belt, couple of roofing hammers, box cutter, water cooler

#2 - if you donít know how to do roofing, hire yourself out for minimum wage to a local roofer to be his helper, heíll work your ass off and teach you EVERYTHING you need to know in 6 months

then advertise to do roofing installation and repair in your area
if you do just ONE major job per week, you can easily make a couple of thousand pounds profit

then learn how to spray paint and pressure wash, buy the equipment, and add this to your list of services, my guess is within 2 years, you should be clearing 50,000 pounds per year, PLUS meeting a lot of people, some of whom are female and who also have female friends

you might even be able to use your truck for delivery and haul-away, all kinds of stuff Trench

WOW! Trench!!!

then Trench, let me ask ya a question buddy?
do you wanna work for money?
or would you prefer to have YOUR money work for YOU?
hmmmm.....
cuz, if you think itís time for your savings to grow up and go to work
if you have a 50K cash flow, buy an 800,000 pound country house with acreage
10% down, 15 year loan
and make a model homestead farm

and after you do that
recruit a housekeeper (with benefits)





Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Maxx2 on November 19, 2020, 03:35:31 AM
Deleted


That is a shameful reply. You bring dishonor upon your father and mother.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BC on November 19, 2020, 04:28:29 AM
Thanks Max...

I was trying to find something I could say without totally violating the new board policies.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 19, 2020, 04:35:31 AM


That is a shameful reply. You bring dishonor upon your father and mother.

Thanks Max...

I was trying to find something I could say without totally violating the new board policies.



Trench is simply proving his social interaction and dating skills
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Maxx2 on November 19, 2020, 04:55:33 AM


Trench is simply proving his social interaction and dating skills


Tho I disagree with much of your political stances I am with you in this assessment. 
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Maxx2 on November 19, 2020, 04:56:33 AM
Thanks Max...

I was trying to find something I could say without totally violating the new board policies.


And what are the new board policies?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BC on November 19, 2020, 06:11:53 AM
No insults, sniping, and mudslinging etc.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 08:46:11 AM
Deleted.

You are posting about a real person that Maxx knows not some
hypothetical woman who might be interested in you.

Use your brain before you post
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 08:49:59 AM
No insults, sniping, and mudslinging etc.

Then you would need to delete Trenchmouths post and then clean up
the thread that Trenchmouth totally hijacked AGAIN.

Maxx was talking about a real woman that he knows.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BC on November 19, 2020, 08:59:04 AM
Hi Bill,

I reported to the mod to get it handled.  I did want Trench to see the reaction of other members to his obviously distasteful post, even if not directed at another member.

Is likely to disappear in short order.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 09:08:56 AM
Here is Trenchcoats on topic part of the conversation.

Exactly! Tourism shouldn't be seen as a poor second. It helps a guy learn about the culture and he can see how Ukrainians are, that can be invaluable and all help. Flying in and being oblivious of the culture and society isn't a great place to be. That said I can understand for Americans and those from further afield that it's an expensive way to spend time for what was supposed to be a trip to meet a significant other.

When I was in Lviv I mixed tourism with drumming up another woman to meet, it's not a bad way to do it. Most sites only have so many other women to message so you can message them at night or briefly in the morning before going out or around lunchtime when back for a rest. Anything urgent can be done from mobile phone on the move but generally it means you can spend the rest of the day doing tourism while you wait for one to come up.


Here is where Trench defends hiding his lack of confidence and lack of basic
social skills from women. Trench has polluted dozens of threads already with
this and he needs to stop. This thread is not about Trench being afraid to chat
with members of the opposite sex on Skype.

 :offtopic:   :offtopic:   :offtopic: 


Generally I would say unless you're an above average guy in looks, etc it's probably going to take a few days to get another girl up unless you get lucky. Even trying to get back ups ready to call up before you go isn't that easy unless again if you're above average vin looks or get lucky. A lot of sites has a lot of guys competing to message with girls and that's before it comes down to whether she likes your look or not. Some guys might have girls to call up off VK or Facebook but most won't as it's not a straight forward process as online dating sites tend to be.

I agree with not getting overinvested in a girl beforehand the odds for most guys aren't in their favour. I agree that Skype & messaging a lot can build into that and to be honest you might as well go out there and blind date as a lot of that stuff doesn't help that much anyway. It's really all a case of getting the girls up though of course some connection is handy so the girl feels invested enough to show up.

I think Mobe's method is somewhat different. I think there are two aspects to the due diligence he states. One, finding out that the girl is not after a WM for dubious reasons, as an immigration mule, after his wealth, shopping spree, wanting a sponsor, etc. Second, that her character is generally good. Third, that her personality and interests are on a similar or complimentary wavelength.

For each girl messaging online then skyping that is quite a lot of due diligence work. It may well pay off but I don't think their me are guarantee's and odds are even on meeting it may take more than meeting the first girl before one comes up with the necessary chemistry. Surface to say it's quite a labour intensive process suitable for those that have long periods to time to while away at home. Many of us unfortunately don't have that sort of time to hand or lack the enthusiasm for it.

I reckon there is a way to come good in dating abroad if the guy wants to improve his odds and that is to go for girls that are underpar on the looks front. They will be girls who will value the guy meeting them, probably less likely to try it on, etc, etc. So a potential quick win there. Many guys skip over these girls for the more attractive ones, I know I do or at least average looks girls. However, if the guy wants the job done quick and a girl that is less likely to mess him around and isn't too bothered about looks then the unattractive girl can be close to a sure thing. Myself I can't bring myself to date  an ugly girl as I just can't feel right about it but on the upside their not likely to run off with other men though maybe that's not such a good thing, lol.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 09:09:44 AM
Hi Bill,

I reported to the mod to get it handled.  I did want Trench to see the reaction of other members to his obviously distasteful post, even if not directed at another member.

Is likely to disappear in short order.

Thank you,

Bill
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 19, 2020, 10:10:47 AM
This is ridiculous

Beel suggests to the forum that my wife did not post something she DID and now he is hoping Trench's post gets nuked?

This is exactly what I meant about a level playing field.

I simply wanted Beel to see he was wrong and we weren't given the chance.

His slur remains in a locked thread.

Ah well.


Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 11:50:10 AM
This is ridiculous

Beel suggests to the forum that my wife did not post something she DID and now he is hoping Trench's post gets nuked?

This is exactly what I meant about a level playing field.

I simply wanted Beel to see he was wrong and we weren't given the chance.

His slur remains in a locked thread.

Ah well.

I did not make a single disparaging comment about your wife
nor any other person that you know. I posted my belief that YOU
did something.

You said you didn't do that thing. I said you did, you said you didn't,
I said I believe you did, you said you didn't. There is no productive
reason for the mods to put up with you and I repeating it another
40 to 400 times. 

What Trench did was to disparage a person that a member knew
(and Trench didn't) who couldn't defend herself.

That has never been considered acceptable behavior on this forum
or any other.

Title: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 12:18:32 PM
there is a crazy or unbalanced WM, some of whom have posted on this forum. 
It really is a two way street.

Absolutely there are and there are women who want to take
them home and fix them and they are just as doomed to failure
as men who want to get romantically involved with broken women.

I am going to take this one step further in regard to dating Women.

Some women always end up with "Bad Boys"
Some women always end up with men with addictive problems
Some women always end up with men who treat them horribly.
Some women friend zone men and then use them. 

STAY AWAY from those women. Something is wrong and you don't have
the knowledge, training or ability to help them. They won't be interested
in you romantically for any long period of time and they will revert to seeking
out what harms or is harmful to them.

Find a woman who wants you. Find a woman who is romantically interested
in YOU.

Hollywood makes movies about how these girls realize that they always wanted
a good guy and they decide to become romantically involved with the guy that
they've friend zoned.

THAT CRAP NEVER HAPPENS. It's a Holly-weird formula romantic film marketing
for women. It's as real as Superman flying and having X-ray vision. It's as realistic
as Wonder Woman blocking machine gun bullets with her wristbands.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 19, 2020, 12:22:27 PM

I did not make a single disparaging comment about your wife
nor any other person that you know. I posted my belief that YOU
did something.

You said you didn't do that thing. I said you did, you said you didn't,
I said I believe you did, you said you didn't. There is no productive
reason for the mods to put up with you and I repeating it another
40 to 400 times. 

What Trench did was to disparage a person that a member knew
(and Trench didn't) who couldn't defend herself.

That has never been considered acceptable behavior on this forum
or any other.

Trench has made similar comments in the past about women, though not a particular woman.  Each time, he's been called out on it, either by me, or, usually, moby.  Yet he persists.  He's not the only poster here to express misogynistic views.  The now banned Sting was another.  Thankfully, it is rarer now than it was in the past.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 12:41:20 PM
Trench has made similar comments in the past about women, though not a particular woman.  Each time, he's been called out on it, either by me, or, usually, moby.  Yet he persists.  He's not the only poster here to express misogynistic views.  The now banned Sting was another.  Thankfully, it is rarer now than it was in the past.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

Yes he does it all the time. It's nice that he has a thread like this to dump
his crap in.

In my opinion, his completely off topic posts should be considered for placement
here as well. He has 50-60 posts on somebody else's trip report.

Look at this
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=20000.0

He has totally taken over threads


Lastly, Moby follows him around as he does Maxx and others. Moby jumps
Trench for nearly every post he makes. You wait for Trench to say something
ridiculous before calling him to task.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 19, 2020, 12:42:51 PM
IMHO, it's a positive that he is willing to engage with other posters.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 19, 2020, 01:09:36 PM
IMHO, it's a positive that he is willing to engage with other posters.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

It would be nice however, the OP never posted on the thread again.
Trench took over the thread

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 20, 2020, 06:47:44 AM
I did not make a single disparaging comment about your wife }

You told us her words were not her words and ran away from knowing you made an arse of yourself.

If you state someone is fibbing...and you said 'nobody' believed it was wifey, you should face the music.



I offered you a way out. It would have been settled with a laugh.

Calling someone a liar, then refusing to see you were 'mistaken  is that unacceptable?
Title: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 20, 2020, 09:00:10 AM
You told us her words were not her words and ran away from knowing you made an arse of yourself.

If you state someone is fibbing...and you said 'nobody' believed it was wifey, you should face the music.

I offered you a way out. It would have been settled with a laugh.

Calling someone a liar, then refusing to see you were 'mistaken  is that unacceptable?

I believe you made that post.

You've got me on ignore, maybe you should ignore me.
Udachi!

Bill
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: John Gaunt on November 20, 2020, 11:49:39 AM
I believe you made that post.

You've got me on ignore, maybe you should ignore me.
Udachi!

Bill
Of course he made that post. Now up to his usual tricks.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 23, 2020, 03:25:58 PM
Anyone know if Japs will be returning anytime soon? I noticed that his trip report was removed a couple of weeks ago and that he was flagged up as Moderated, so maybe possibly banned or suspended for a short while? Both I feel is a great shame as he contributed greatly on here and his trip report had some great stuff in it. Kind of a breath of fresh air to here from someone with experience that doesn't hang out here all the time and of course presently in Ukraine so behind the wall where all the action is happening with boots on the ground. I know I have benefited enormously from his contribution on here :) :clapping:
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 23, 2020, 04:08:18 PM
Trench,

What did he 'contribute'?

1/ where to go to get cheaper tattoos ?

2/ theories that many women like tattoos and beards ?

3/ yet another poster living there that could not be bothered to try to learn the local lingo?

4/ boasting of 'sexual conquests' whilst still hung up on one particular lady..

That was 'useful' to you?.



Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 23, 2020, 04:26:51 PM
Trench,

What did he 'contribute'?

1/ where to go to get cheaper tattoos ?

2/ theories that many women like tattoos and beards ?

3/ yet another poster living there that could not be bothered to try to learn the local lingo?

4/ boasting of 'sexual conquests' whilst still hung up on one particular lady..

That was 'useful' to you?.

I mean other than those things. The tattoo thing featured heavily but I think there was a lot of philosophy behind what Japs did and realisation of who he was and where he wanted to be. Japs kind of had his sh*t together, he had found who he was, he had a good business going, he was dating beautiful women and he was in the place he wanted to be, at least at that moment in time, possibly Russia, Moscow or something.

I know you and he did get along but then you don't with most people on here ;D
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 23, 2020, 10:57:06 PM
Trench,

You believing the poster formerly known by various nicks as being 'grounded', speaks volumes.

I am not posting on here to be 'popular'...If I see a TR that is positively advising all that is wrong re helping find a partner in the FSU, I think it is vital to say so and why.

That you would regard such 'advice' as 'worthy' is scary.

I have had two failed marriages, which means I accept I am not perfect.. but I do know 'pulling' is the  easier part and maintaining a LTR is a greater challenge.

Suggesting entering into various liaisons while still emotionally tied to another is unfair to other ladies and not a sign of stability.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: John Gaunt on November 24, 2020, 12:39:21 AM
Trench,

You believing the poster formerly known by various nicks as being 'grounded, speaks volumes.

I am not posting on here to be 'popular'...If I see a TR that is positively advising all that is wrong re helping find a partner in the FSU, I think it is vital to say so and why.

That you would regard such 'advice' as 'worthy' is scary.

I have had two failed marriages, which means I accept I am not perfect.. but I do know 'pulling' is the  easier part and maintaining a LTR is a greater challenge.

Suggesting entering into various liaisons while still emotionally tied to another is unfair to others and not a sign of stability.
That would suggest that you are the last person to be giving advice on dating or seeking relationships and then compounding that by maintaining that your way is the only way and all other perspectives are wrong. (WOVO vs WMVM)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 24, 2020, 12:19:09 PM
That would suggest that you are the last person to be giving advice on dating or seeking relationships and then compounding that by maintaining that your way is the only way and all other perspectives are wrong. (WOVO vs WMVM)


I disagree, to a degree.


No one can really give advice on relationships, because what individuals want in a relationship varies. From reading this forum, I get the impression that what most men here seek is a woman to whom they are physically attracted, and anything beyond that is just gravy.  The fact marriages to FSUW occur quickly, without a common language, or culture, reinforces my perception.  However, beauty fades with time, both in terms of getting used to what your wife's looks, and the ravages of time.  Most of you are shallow. :P


I do agree that "WOVO vs WMVM" is down to personal preference and a man's personality.  A man who doesn't date widely at home, and is not charismatic, probably isn't going to succeed with a "WMVM" approach.  Nor will a man who doesn't enjoy dating a variety of women at home.  I think this is what moby misses.


This post was composed without the aid of google.



Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 24, 2020, 08:45:42 PM
Boethius,

I think it is pretty safe for me to paint myself as not lacking in charisma..that's just a fact...I have no problem with engaging total strangers ..Are we 'shallow' for seeking a woman who attracts us with good looks / nice figure...Hell, yes. I must be one of the shallowest..I just seek it in someone closer to my years..my consession to 'reality'.. as I am getting older and realise we have a finite time on the planet, that other things become important.

Choosing a partner is not something to rush..VM is too much like buying at an auction. Bargains to be had as well as you land land lemon in a moment of blood rushing to the head )







I have tried both VM and VO and the former SUCKS.

It is some 'excuse' used by members for an ego trip..or "Oh, I need to justify my time"....

Very few would adopt the same tactic at home.

If you are seriously looking for wife..No WAY one can tell on one date, with the clock ticking before the next.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 25, 2020, 07:05:26 AM
That would suggest that you are the last person to be giving advice on dating or seeking relationships and then compounding that by maintaining that your way is the only way and all other perspectives are wrong. (WOVO vs WMVM)

Exactly, Mobe calls me out for giving advice based on my 'failures' at dating and then does exactly the same lol. Sure he's relationships have been more long term but two have failed to date in marriage, then there are any non marital relationships we may not know about on top of that.

He's argument appears to be that he as such knows where it can go wrong, I could argue the same :)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 25, 2020, 07:16:34 AM
Choosing a partner is not something to rush..VM is too much like buying at an auction. Bargains to be had as well as you land land lemon in a moment of blood rushing to the head )







I have tried both VM and VO and the former SUCKS.

It is some 'excuse' used by members for an ego trip..or "Oh, I need to justify my time"....

Very few would adopt the same tactic at home.

If you are seriously looking for wife..No WAY one can tell on one date, with the clock ticking before the next.

I think it depends on the person. Some people don't really know themselves, some think they do but they don't, some perhaps many people may go their whole life without really finding out who they are. If you know yourself then you know exactly what to look for so a VO is obviously the way to go, probably the only way. If you don't know who you are (and the girl may not know who she is) then a VM is a good option as you get to meet a wide variety of people and it gives you a better idea of the differences and what suits better.

When I was in Lviv as you recall I tried VM, it was my first time at it and mistakes were made as it's an almost entirely different process to VO. So my VM ended up as meeting two different girls the bare minimum to avoid it being seen as another VO. I'm now glad I met both. The first girl as you may recall I didn't get on with, she smoked too much, kind off a party girls, too dominant, etc. The second girl was way more on my wavelength but I fluffed it up due to lack of experience dating FSW. Meeting the two though showed me what I way more preferred. That's not to say had I gotten into a full on relationship with girl two that it would have worked out just that she was by far the better option compared to girl one.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 25, 2020, 07:26:00 AM
Trench,

You believing the poster formerly known by various nicks as being 'grounded', speaks volumes.

I am not posting on here to be 'popular'...If I see a TR that is positively advising all that is wrong re helping find a partner in the FSU, I think it is vital to say so and why.

That you would regard such 'advice' as 'worthy' is scary.

I have had two failed marriages, which means I accept I am not perfect.. but I do know 'pulling' is the  easier part and maintaining a LTR is a greater challenge.

Suggesting entering into various liaisons while still emotionally tied to another is unfair to other ladies and not a sign of stability.

Indeed, I know, still not sure why the username Japtats, I get the tats is for tattoos, but the Jap part, Japanese tattoos? I'm probably wrong on that guess, lol.

I think Japs may have not gotten everything quite right possibly, difficult bro say he has to work he's life the way he sees it. It may not be fair to the lady but out in the FSU/Ukraine many things aren't fair, that is life out there, being too fair out there doesn't tend to be rewarded nor indeed part of their society to any great extent.

Japs gave me some great advice and that has really come through for me off recent. Still a way to go and although it didn't happen directly as a result of his advice he did notice stuff about me and where I needed to be. I'm hoping he will return one day, he's younger than me but despite a few misgivings I think has a great take on life.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 25, 2020, 08:17:37 AM
Indeed, I know, still not sure why the username Japtats, I get the tats is for tattoos, but the Jap part,

Japs gave me some great advice and that has really come through for me off recent.

Please share.. as I missed you announcing you were now in a LTR
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 25, 2020, 10:21:06 AM
Please share.. as I missed you announcing you were now in a LTR

Ooo Mobers, now is not the right time to share, but I will in due course.

Not everything is about an LTR Mobers.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 25, 2020, 11:00:43 AM
So... you are talking to someone on a regular basis, hopefully.

Good luck)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 25, 2020, 12:22:21 PM
I could argue the same :)


Not really.  Serial short term dating is not the same as a failed marriage, particularly one that lasted years.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Davo on November 25, 2020, 04:03:36 PM
A lot of trenches theories and comments reminds me of conversations with friends when we were in our early teens at high school. None of us had any real
relationship experience to draw on so often conversations were not based in reality, but fantasy.

I know trench hasnít ever had a serious relationship or probably even a girlfriend, because he avoids answering when iíve asked the question several times. Also the fact a lot of this comments just seem strange to guys like myself who are the same age, have courted a woman, got married, raised a family, divorced and then started and entered new relationships.....On that point trench, thereís a lot of quality advice a divorced man can give you that a long term happily married man canít.

I think if heís lucky to eventually find the right woman for him and experience his first relationship heíll look back on his comments here and see just how far off the mark he has been, but finding that first woman to give him a go is the tricky part. He needs to trust the experienced people here, even those who are divorced and make the changes they suggest before continuing.

Trench, Bill have you a gem a few months ago and you totally ignored it re-: missing the most important step in modern FSU dating.... Video chatting and building chemistry online before meeting. You obviously lack the ability to do this in real life because of your lack of experience with women, so I donít understand why you avoid video chatting.

Itís far easier to build chemistry online first, than building chemistry from scratch face to face. Iíve been on a few blind dates since my divorce and donít have problems with building chemistry, while meeting a woman whoís essentially a stranger, but iíve learnt from experience that chatting for a week or two reduces the pressure and makes for a more comfortable and ultimately successful first date.

 The guys who give you advice here are light years in front of you and me when it comes to FSU dating and experience with ďgood girlsĒ . Iíve been lucky to have met two of theses women, but you have yet to meet even one whoís genuinely interested in you..... you have a case of failing to launch when it comes to fsu dating and women in general, but all is not lost if you just listen to the experienced people replying to you in this thread.

As a man approaching his mid 40ís like me, all you should take from Japs report is itís an interesting read, but has little relevance to us. We are in a totally different situation to him..... He lives in Russia, we donít. Heís dating younger women, we arenít (if weíre realistic). He can meet numerous fsu women everyday in real life, we canít. Our strategy is simple.... Meet women online and use all the tools available to get to know her and see if thereís mutual chemistry, then see if that chemistry is there in real life.

I still see myself as a newbie and Iíve been passing what I know to random guys I meet online who are complete beginners. No exaggeration, it takes approximately an hour chatting on the phone to give them enough information to successfully meet genuine women after several days online.... Women that seem to be good girls on paper and worthwhile planning a trip to meet them. One was in love with a visa scammer in January. After some guidance heís turned things around and made two trips to Turkey to met 5 wonderful FSU women. His worry atm is which woman to choose to purse further....they all have great qualities . You have infinitely more knowledge than him, so you need to ask yourself why youíre struggling with the first and in my opinion the easiest step of this adventure.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 25, 2020, 04:32:06 PM

p.s, as a man approaching his mid 40ís like me, all you should taken from Japs report is itís an interesting read but has little relevance to us. We are in a totally different situation to him..... He lives in Russia, we donít. Heís dating younger women, we arenít. He can meet numerous women everyday in real life, we canít. Our strategy is simple.... Meet women online and use all the tools available to get to know her and see if thereís mutual chemistry, then see if that chemistry is there in real life.

I don't live in Russia, been to Russia many times, nor do i actually live in Ukraine, but more like jump between FSU and digital nomad. I have dated a lot of women though, but dismiss the ones where i feel we are not a right match. Women tend to tell you the right things, until you actually date them, and see the ones who are legit, and the ones who are just lazy.

I actually follow the talk to many, visit one approach, but invite them to go to another city with me, and spend my time with them. That is what i did with all my Russian girlfriends, and wouldn't do it any differently currently. My fiance would have never stuck with me for 8 months whilst i was financially broke, if i was talking to many different women. We both were committed to each other, spend hours video each day, and that is the only reason it lasted as long as it did.

Now i do not commit to women, i don't like to open myself up to every woman i meet. And rather see where it leads.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 25, 2020, 08:39:45 PM
I don't live in Russia, been to Russia many times, nor do i actually live in Ukraine, but more like jump between FSU and digital nomad. I have dated a lot of women though, but dismiss the ones where i feel we are not a right match. Women tend to tell you the right things, until you actually date them, and see the ones who are legit, and the ones who are just lazy.

I actually follow the talk to many, visit one approach, but invite them to go to another city with me, and spend my time with them. That is what i did with all my Russian girlfriends, and wouldn't do it any differently currently. My fiance would have never stuck with me for 8 months whilst i was financially broke, if i was talking to many different women. We both were committed to each other, spend hours video each day, and that is the only reason it lasted as long as it did.

Now i do not commit to women, i don't like to open myself up to every woman i meet. And rather see where it leads.

Great to see you are back Japs and your trip report thread restored :)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 26, 2020, 07:17:38 AM
Your post was excellent, Davo


 


Bill have you a gem a few months ago and you totally ignored it re-: missing the most important step in modern FSU dating.... Video chatting and building chemistry online before meeting.


Not sure I agree that Beel still believes V.chat should be used to filter out ladies you'd not want to meet in a VM trip, but if he did mean that, I apologise
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 08:19:00 AM
Your post was excellent, Davo

Oh you think. Davo has done some very good posts in the past. I think this time though he's post is everything that is wrong with society, "...a lot of this comments just seem strange to guys like myself who are the same age, have courted a woman, got married, raised a family, divorced and then started and entered new relationships.....".

What I'm about to say isn't a crack at Davo it's what people in society derive in general that they see just getting the above done with whoever and as soon as you can as what you should buy into in life. Instead of looking for the life you want to lead and finding out and fulfilling who you are the trappings of marriage, house and kids as soon as with whatever woman will be willing to 'go along with it' as the way forward in life.

Society is being built on false notions and it's not leading to much happiness. It's why drug use is increasing and mental health is declining as people try to come to terms with the unhappiness this has brought into their life.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 26, 2020, 08:24:11 AM
Oh you think. Davo has done some very good posts in the past.

His post seemed particularly aimed a helping you... some helpful critique..

Seems that after all this time, you might me a little less selective and pay less heed to claim to be iconoclastic
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 08:31:12 AM
Oh you think. Davo has done some very good posts in the past. I think this time though he's post is everything that is wrong with society, "...a lot of this comments just seem strange to guys like myself who are the same age, have courted a woman, got married, raised a family, divorced and then started and entered new relationships.....".

What I'm about to say isn't a crack at Davo it's what people in society derive in general that they see just getting the above done with whoever and as soon as you can as what you should buy into in life. Instead of looking for the life you want to lead and finding out and fulfilling who you are the trappings of marriage, house and kids as soon as with whatever woman will be willing to 'go along with it' as the way forward in life.

Society is being built on false notions and it's not leading to much happiness. It's why drug use is increasing and mental health is declining as people try to come to terms with the unhappiness this has brought into their life.


YOu are right, there are many women i know who want kids with me, happy to stay with me in FSU. If i used rwd standards on what defines success 'being married', i would maybe be unhappy. A lot of people think getting a woman to say yes is hard, it is not. What is hard is a woman actually choosing to have a family with you, to commit to you for life, being happy to live with you if it is the west or the FSU.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: treadmilldude on November 26, 2020, 10:36:25 AM
japtats  =  DragonKid
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BillyB on November 26, 2020, 10:47:34 AM
japtats  =  DragonKid


Who told you that?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 26, 2020, 11:17:13 AM
Your post was excellent, Davo

Not sure I agree that Beel still believes V.chat should be used to filter out ladies you'd not want to meet in a VM trip, but if he did mean that, I apologise

Bill believes that V chat should absolutely be used in visit one and not in visit many.

Trench should spend 10 hours per week in video chat with real women.
He would get better at talking to women and eventually gain confidence.
Women love, love, love confidence!

Trench makes excuses, such as he is knackered after working at his
grueling part time job and 6 month long remodeling project where
he hammers in 11 nails 2 days per week.

Title: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 26, 2020, 11:25:40 AM
If i used rwd standards on what defines success 'being married', i would maybe be unhappy. A lot of people think getting a woman to say yes is hard, it is not. What is hard is a woman actually choosing to have a family with you, to commit to you for life, being happy to live with you if it is the west or the FSU.

I could have married countless women, but I kept looking until
I found the woman of my dreams. Then I spent one year and
six trips (4 to her and 2 to me) to make sure she was the one.

I think you are making your assessment of RWD standards based on
one very opinionated member that disagrees with nearly everybody
about nearly everything.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 26, 2020, 12:32:50 PM

Who told you that?

Do you think it is 'fake news', BillyB  ?;)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 12:37:45 PM
His post seemed particularly aimed a helping you... some helpful critique..

Seems that after all this time, you might me a little less selective and pay less heed to claim to be iconoclastic

I'm not iconoclastic for the sake of it, only when I see a gapping hole people are repeatedly falling into.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 26, 2020, 12:47:01 PM
I'm not iconoclastic for the sake of it, only when I see a gapping hole people are repeatedly falling into.

You'll have to explain you expertise in avoiding said 'gapping' hole ...  Are you saying better not try and fail ( and learn by your mistakes ) period ?

Come on, Trenchie, it really comes across like you are making excuses, now ! ;)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 12:47:19 PM
Bill believes that V chat should absolutely be used in visit one and not in visit many.

Trench should spend 10 hours per week in video chat with real women.
He would get better at talking to women and eventually gain confidence.
Women love, love, love confidence!

Trench makes excuses, such as he is knackered after working at his
grueling part time job and 6 month long remodeling project where
he hammers in 11 nails 2 days per week.

The last paragraph feels too true, lol. I nearly always feel that I hardly get enough work done, but it's getting colder now so it's even harder.

I can talk to women all day long if I want, I'm confident talking to women in general. It's a different case talking to women where there is chemistry, that's not as easy but it's easier if online dating has taken care of the preliminaries and know something about her and something to talk about.

Unfortunately you only ever know if there is chemistry until arrival. So while a girl won't likely stick around if you haven't been chatting a lot beforehand (v chat, etc) if there is no chemistry it does the ditching the girl and move on part easy.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 26, 2020, 12:53:37 PM


Unfortunately you only ever know if there is chemistry until arrival.

 :ROFL:

Nope..  I invited my future first Russian wife to Cyprus and had a pretty certain idea she was going to be the one..

Sadly, that didn't work out and 9 years later I flew to Sochi to meet SC knowing we had something, even though she likes to chew Garlic ;)


I'm not saying I'm more correct.. just that you made an assertion that I simply have not experienced .. 
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 01:10:30 PM

I think you are making your assessment of RWD standards based on
one very opinionated member that disagrees with nearly everybody
about nearly everything.

Correct
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 01:30:07 PM

YOu are right, there are many women i know who want kids with me, happy to stay with me in FSU. If i used rwd standards on what defines success 'being married', i would maybe be unhappy. A lot of people think getting a woman to say yes is hard, it is not. What is hard is a woman actually choosing to have a family with you, to commit to you for life, being happy to live with you if it is the west or the FSU.

Indeed, that's exactly right. A lot guys will go to the FSU to meet a girl with below par looks or at best everyday looks and then coo on about how they are the greatest, and succeeded in meeting a wonderful and beautiful woman. Now she may not be the biggest minger going and attractive enough to get off with and still get it on but in their heart of hearts they are just coming themselves. In fairness some won't be that bothered about looks and will be actually into the person. Most others will be that they get on well enough with the person but won't admit to others and probably not themselves either that they felt that she was just the best that they can get, nothing necessarily wrong with that but then going off and spouting about 'suceeding' and being with a top woman is just laughable.

I myself could have gotten with UK women and like yourself Japs could easily land a FSW if I went for one of the less wanted women, but they normally come with downsides, sometimes several, it might just be looks or it could be more as well. For me I couldn't feel right risking passing on genes to offspring that would make them come last in life and pretending I've played a blinder.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: treadmilldude on November 26, 2020, 01:31:23 PM
DragonKid, you are making a huge, huge, huge mistake covering yourself in tattoos. I cannot emphasize enough what a colossal mistake you are making by covering yourself in tattoos.

Seriously DragonKid, no more tattoos, you need to stop it. It is going to be much more difficult now for you to find a marriage-caliber woman with all of the tats. You can still do it of course, but you just shrank the available pool of women for marriage for yourself by probably 90 to 95%. Why would you just make it exponentially harder for yourself to find a high-quality woman for marriage by covering yourself in tattoos ??  (Face Palm) 
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 01:37:51 PM
I'm not saying I'm more correct.. just that you made an assertion that I simply have not experienced ..

I've video chatted with FSW and gotten on well talking to them on v chat. We talked about many topics we could relate too. I found them hot when talking to them on v chat and they seemed attracted to me. I've gone to meet some hot women based on that but when on meeting it went flat.

I think your problem is Mobers that you don't understand that you can think you can have one thing but really instead have another and be oblivious to it all.
Title: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 26, 2020, 01:47:31 PM
The last paragraph feels too true, lol. I nearly always feel that I hardly get enough work done, but it's getting colder now so it's even harder.

Trench, STOP MAKING lame excuses. I know of 15 year old overweight teenage
boys who had to clean the school urinals that whine less than you do.

I worked 80-90 hours per week living in a camp trailer in 5 miles down
a dirt road in North Dakota with ICE inside the walls. The water didn't
work because it was frozen for 4 months straight.

I heated up water that I packed in with a microwave to take a shower
every day. I went down to a shower place that cost me a buck a minute
twice per week for a 15-20 minute "Hollywood Shower"

http://youtu.be/nqMnnJ5LWCc

One evening the window on my car opened and wouldn't close. It was
-19F (-28C). This was 3 days before I was going to see Angel Eyes for
the 3rd time.

I was a member of the forum back then. Go back and find a single post
where I complain about it. Go find a single post where I used it as an
excuse or it held me back in any way. This was where I lived when I
met Angel Eyes.


NOTE: If you can see white bone poking out of your skin,
or you can see arterial blood squirting more than two inches in the air then you
have a valid excuse to stop doing what I recommend. Otherwise, it's a lame excuse. 



I can talk to women all day long if I want, I'm confident talking to women
in general. It's a different case talking to women where there is chemistry,
that's not as easy but it's easier if online dating has taken care of the
preliminaries and know something about her and something to talk about.

Obviously, you aren't confident talking to a woman in general with possible
romantic implications. You need to practice just like you've been told dozens
of times by various members of this forum. I am right and you are wrong.


Unfortunately you only ever know if there is chemistry until arrival. So
while a girl won't likely stick around if you haven't been chatting a lot
beforehand (v chat, etc) if there is no chemistry it does the ditching
the girl and move on part easy.

You need the practice, so go do it.

Unfortunately you only ever know if there is chemistry until arrival.

Moby thinks otherwise but he is wrong.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 02:21:19 PM
DragonKid, you are making a huge, huge, huge mistake covering yourself in tattoos. I cannot emphasize enough what a colossal mistake you are making by covering yourself in tattoos.

Seriously DragonKid, no more tattoos, you need to stop it. It is going to be much more difficult now for you to find a marriage-caliber woman with all of the tats. You can still do it of course, but you just shrank the available pool of women for marriage for yourself by probably 90 to 95%. Why would you just make it exponentially harder for yourself to find a high-quality woman for marriage by covering yourself in tattoos ??  (Face Palm)


Ask on my trip report. I am not going to floor Trench's thread about my tattoos.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 26, 2020, 02:25:56 PM

Moby thinks otherwise but he is wrong.

Moby can STILL see your posts .. and it is pretty clear YOU are wrong, given it has clearly worked out twice ...  ( even though I failed on the maintaining the relationship part )

'Chemistry' was achieved and a VO confirmed it

That you espouse a method ( VM) whereby you lucked into your lovely wife should be a sticky ;)







Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 26, 2020, 02:26:43 PM
Moby disagreeing, that we only ever know if thereís chemistry on arrival. Read his very own words below  :rolleyes:


Nope..  I invited my future first Russian wife to Cyprus and had a pretty certain idea she was going to be the one..

Sadly, that didn't work out and 9 years later I flew to Sochi to meet SC.....

Literally the worst advice......ever.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 26, 2020, 02:29:18 PM
.. and it is pretty clear YOU are wrong, given it has clearly worked out twice ...  ( even though I failed on the maintaining the relationship part )

This is gold   :deadhorse:
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 03:19:15 PM
Moby disagreeing, that we only ever know if thereís chemistry on arrival. Read his very own words below  :rolleyes:

Literally the worst advice......ever.  :rolleyes:


Why?  What, exactly, is "chemistry"? 


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 04:03:08 PM

I myself could have gotten with UK women and like yourself Japs could easily land a FSW if I went for one of the less wanted women, but they normally come with downsides, sometimes several, it might just be looks or it could be more as well. For me I couldn't feel right risking passing on genes to offspring that would make them come last in life and pretending I've played a blinder.

I think it is something i resonate with at the moment. I am getting with a lot of women, but part of me knows once i sort out a few things, i will attract even better. But then again, at what cost? Sometimes i think it is better to meet someone a bit more simple, and give them the support to truly blossom. My tattoo master i learnt is trolling women on tinder, he is ukrainian makes pretty good money, maybe 4x what average ukrainian makes, but he has been beaten up so many times. I am very harsh, and quick to end things and move on, i don't let a pretty face fall me, if there is not real connection (sex is different, and i don't count this as a connection)

He goes on tinder pretending he is rich, from our talks, i understand deep down he is hurt , he tells me to go for simple girls. I think that is what he learnt the hard way. Maybe what you want to get, you end up getting, but it is not what you actually want in the end, and you learn this the hard way. A woman can truly destroy you.

A lot of billionaires marry simple women, because in the end they realise those are the type of women that actually cherish them. But this is something i am still figuring out myself. 2Tall sometimes says find a woman crazy about you, and i think he is right, find a woman who is truly crazy for you, and help her blossom.

I am in the position for a woman not need to work. She can focus going to the gym, take care of the family, cook and clean. I prefer to find someone who has a good work ethic to make this happen, my issue is a lot of women i met were lazy. Some had the gym aspect down, but they were just way not for me, some were crazy for me, but had piss poor work ethic, and i quickly dump them. Some women are shocked, because they see the girls, and these girls are hot, but they are young and hot, give them 10 years, these women will be fat, and lazy.


I have a feeling if i was single at 50, i would have no issues dating women in their early 30's. I will be physically fit successful in what i do in life, and developed in such a good way. But where does it actually stop? Where do you draw the line at the best you can get? When i decided that i wanted to propose to my fiance, she was physically fit, killing the gym, top university, trainee Dr, she was like a model (when i posted pics, people were blown away). I felt that was my limit, and i think that is why i was focused on her.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 04:25:40 PM

Why?  What, exactly, is "chemistry"? 

Do you defend every post Moby makes? Chemistry as in living with someone, physical chemistry , talking on webcam is different from real life. Well maybe not for us men, but for women, they need to see a guy in real life.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 04:30:22 PM
I am not defending moby.  I merely asked a question.  But I will ask why you have a compulsive need to bring up his failed marriage in every third post.  Does anyone here bring up your two (or is it more) failed engagements?  Does anyone here bring up other posters' failed marriages?  It's rather irrelevant, isn't it?  BTW, there are other posters here with even higher numbers of failed marriages.  They've posted about them in the past.  I view those individuals as sensible posters who could give you good advice.  But, they don't engage with you at all, possibly because they don't want their pasts thrown in their faces.

"Chemistry" obviously means different things to different people.  It depends on what is important to that particular person/couple, what they desire in another person, what they want in life, their spiritual development, etc.  If you read what psychologists say, "chemistry" has almost nothing to do with the physical, it's all about an emotional connection.  All your definition tells me is what is important to you.

How do you know what women need IRL?  Particularly all women?  When were you last a woman?  Are you believing the sweet lies FSUW tell you?

This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 04:40:17 PM


How do you know what women need IRL?  Particularly all women?  When were you last a woman?  Are you believing the sweet lies FSUW tell you?


Firstly what i post is a correlation, there are outliers. I think we all can agree when someone says something, they don't believe it is the absolute truth. Guess what, alot of science is correlations, not absolute truths.

Funny thing, last night i was talkign to a woman, she was from Kiev, never worked in her life, 24 years old, she said she didn't care what a man did for a living, wanted true love. She didn't care if a man lost it all, she would love him still. What do you think? A girl like that, dressed ellegantly, never worked a day in her life, first first tells me she is looking for true love. Do you think i should trust what she says?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 04:46:38 PM
What I think doesn't matter.  I'm not engaging with her.


I don't happen to believe correlations are particularly useful in human relationships. 


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 04:47:40 PM
IDoes anyone here bring up your two (or is it more) failed engagements?  Does anyone here bring up other posters' failed marriages?  It's rather irrelevant, isn't it?  BTW, there are other posters here with even higher numbers of failed marriages.  They've posted about them in the past. 

What two failed engagements? I only been engaged once, and i been open about why that failed. it failed because it took me a long time to get myself up and running, she supported me 8 months whilst i was broke, but it got too much for her, then she wanted me back, but i closed myself to reconciling. It damaged me mentally, and i couldn't and still can't let myself be vulnerable. Are you telling people lies? Funny how quick you are telling Moby to edit his posts , deleting responses , but quick to go savage mode.


It is not irrelevant if Moby is screaming money does not matter, when his second wife left quick after his business took a hit. His post contradict his experiences, that is why it matters.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 26, 2020, 04:50:44 PM

Why?  What, exactly, is "chemistry"? 


This post was composed without the aid of google.

Mutual romantic and physical attraction.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 04:57:13 PM

I am in the position for a woman not need to work. She can focus going to the gym, take care of the family, cook and clean. I prefer to find someone who has a good work ethic to make this happen, my issue is a lot of women i met were lazy. Some had the gym aspect down, but they were just way not for me, some were crazy for me, but had piss poor work ethic, and i quickly dump them. Some women are shocked, because they see the girls, and these girls are hot, but they are young and hot, give them 10 years, these women will be fat, and lazy.


For sure, most hot women will expect their looks to do the pulling work for them. They won't see a need to be good in the kitchen or be work orientated. It would probably be the FSW version of overthinking things, like I sometimes do, lol.

So a pretty girl knows that she has been gifted with good looks and starts getting off the back off it, few go for more as they see their getting what they want anyway. It's almost non sensical to do that. Western women may be a bit more different because feminism becomes in, career and hence ego start coming into play with all the, 'I'm a woman and I am the first, this or that' or 'I've done all of this and was told by (no one in reality) that I couldn't do it as a woman'. Career obsessed feminists big up their ego's on all of that stuff all the time lol.

The pretty girl is just waiting to be picked up by her Prince (a successful guy) that is what all the fairy tales and Hollywood tell them. In general it's based on truth, extremely few pretty girls settle for less, there is no need to. So it often comes down to what the guy wants. For sure he can have an insanely pretty girl enjoy banging her hard and then only have to pay for a real comfortable lifestyle for her, and possibly put up with someone who is a real horror to be around. On the better side of it she might like him and not be so bad to hang around. On the worst she will be with him but not regard him as anything at all in her mind.

So all depends on what you want, I think there's worth in a pretty girl though many of us guys fail to see the downsides and obsess over pretty girls. That or go for a plain girl who knows or comes to learn that she has to give more in other ways, and so has other stuff a guy may prefer in the end.

Or to put it another way there is the only saying that, "you don't look at the mantle piece when stoking the fire". Now knowing you're doing it on an ugly bird would be a turn off for me, not as a choice just by instinct. However, most everyday looking girls who are at least reasonable body wise it can be quite easy to get off on banging away on them. At that point they are essentially a pair off tits and arse, that's all required at that point, looking at their face is optional. So an everyday girl can provide that and often if she has any sense. Most people are everyday average looking so it's no come down. The guy can still get a lot of joy riding away on her :P
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 04:58:45 PM
What two failed engagements? I only been engaged once, and i been open about why that failed. it failed because it took me a long time to get myself up and running, she supported me 8 months whilst i was broke, but it got too much for her, then she wanted me back, but i closed myself to reconciling. It damaged me mentally, and i couldn't and still can't let myself be vulnerable. Are you telling people lies? Funny how quick you are telling Moby to edit his posts , deleting responses , but quick to go savage mode.

It is not irrelevant if Moby is screaming money does not matter, when his second wife left quick after his business took a hit. His post contradict his experiences, that is why it matters.

I have never told moby to edit his posts.  If he chooses to edit a post after Anonmod has edited it, that's his choice.  Every poster has that same right for a certain window of time.  I think it's an hour, but I'm not certain.  Yet again, evidence that you jump to conclusions and are so convinced you are "right", that you fail to take into account anything that contradicts that conclusion.

You don't know why moby's wife left him.  It's speculation on your part, and on the part of everyone else here, including me.  Maybe we should invite the ex and ask her directly, since you seem obsessed with the subject and all things moby.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 05:02:19 PM
Mutual romantic and physical attraction.

Again, your definition.  I agree but personally, I think it's much broader than that.  I think a lot of mutual romantic attraction can be garnered online, as can physical attraction, I assume (no personal experience with either).  I mean, I've never met Brad Pitt, but I found him very physically attractive in the 1990's (particularly in the A River Runs Through It/Meet Joe Black period).  I doubt that would have changed had I met him IRL.


This post was composed without the aid of google.


Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 05:03:31 PM
For sure, most hot women will expect their looks to do the pulling work for them. They won't see a need to be good in the kitchen or be work orientated. It would probably be the FSW version of overthinking things, like I sometimes do, lol.

So a pretty girl knows that she has been gifted with good looks and starts getting off the back off it, few go for more as they see their getting what they want anyway. It's almost non sensical to do that. Western women may be a bit more different because feminism becomes in, career and hence ego start coming into play with all the, 'I'm a woman and I am the first, this or that' or 'I've done all of this and was told by (no one in reality) that I couldn't do it as a woman'. Career obsessed feminists big up their ego's on all of that stuff all the time lol.

The pretty girl is just waiting to be picked up by her Prince (a successful guy) that is what all the fairy tales and Hollywood tell them. In general it's based on truth, extremely few pretty girls settle for less, there is no need to. So it often comes down to what the guy wants. For sure he can have an insanely pretty girl enjoy banging her hard and then only have to pay for a real comfortable lifestyle for her, and possibly put up with someone who is a real horror to be around. On the better side of it she might like him and not be so bad to hang around. On the worst she will be with him but not regard him as anything at all in her mind.

So all depends on what you want, I think there's worth in a pretty girl though many of us guys fail to see the downsides and obsess over pretty girls. That or go for a plain girl who knows or comes to learn that she has to give more in other ways, and so has other stuff a guy may prefer in the end.


 :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 26, 2020, 05:07:58 PM

You don't know why moby's wife left him.  It's speculation on your part, and on the part of everyone else here.  Maybe we should invite her and ask her directly, since you seem obsessed with the subject and all things moby.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

it was timed perfectly after his business took a hit. Didn't he also post that she filed a police report on believing he was guilty of fraud? Speaks volume of her trust in him , how many years of marriage, and a spouse still can't trust her own husband. Yet he has the audacity to poke other people , and beat his chest that he doesn't need money bla bla bla..... Please.....
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 05:13:56 PM
Japs has a point some people always try to paint themselves in the best light possible but the truth can be otherwise.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 26, 2020, 05:19:33 PM
Again, your definition.  I agree but personally, I think it's much broader than that.  I think a lot of mutual romantic attraction can be garnered online, as can physical attraction, I assume (no personal experience with either). 

I believe that it can be garnered online, but it's not for sure until you meet
in person. Several times both myself and a woman I was chatting with thought
that we had mutual chemistry online, but then we met and we didn't. That's
why I say you only know for sure in person.

Sometimes you both want it to happen and possibly project feelings or thoughts
or ideas that don't really exist.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 05:21:12 PM
it was timed perfectly after his business took a hit. Didn't he also post that she filed a police report on believing he was guilty of fraud? Speaks volume of her trust in him , how many years of marriage, and a spouse still can't trust her own husband. Yet he has the audacity to poke other people , and beat his chest that he doesn't need money bla bla bla..... Please.....

No, moby never posted that she filed a police report on him about fraud, at least, not based on what he posted at the time, and I read the entire thread about the demise of moby's marriage, mostly in real time, when it was posted.  I told moby straight out he shouldn't be posting about their relationship, as it was an intensely personal matter, and he shouldn't be airing their dirty laundry in public. Of course, I didn't do that assuming posters would then twist what was posted to score irrelevant "points" long after the fact.  I just thought it was wrong and without honour.  moby's ex also made a few posts, and then asked that all the posts be deleted, so they were.  So, any information you have from this has been gleaned mostly from posters who never saw those posts.  I think here, the only active posters who did see the posts before they were deleted are 2tallbill, Rosco, and John Gaunt.  And that's it.

Japs has a point some people always try to paint themselves in the best light possible but the truth can be otherwise.


Of course.  But the point is, we don't know the truth.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 26, 2020, 05:27:11 PM
beat his chest bla bla bla..... Please.....

I can beat up Moby for 100 things (and I do). I tend to comment on Moby
and not his exwife or their relationship because, that's too personal in
my opinion and she's not here to comment on it and they have both
moved on and I wouldn't appreciate people dredging up stuff about
my ex-marriage to my ex-wife even though it was +17 years or more
ago.

That's just my two kopecks

Bill

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Davo on November 26, 2020, 05:29:55 PM
Oh you think. Davo has done some very good posts in the past. I think this time though he's post is everything that is wrong with society, "...a lot of this comments just seem strange to guys like myself who are the same age, have courted a woman, got married, raised a family, divorced and then started and entered new relationships.....".

What I'm about to say isn't a crack at Davo it's what people in society derive in general that they see just getting the above done with whoever and as soon as you can as what you should buy into in life. Instead of looking for the life you want to lead and finding out and fulfilling who you are the trappings of marriage, house and kids as soon as with whatever woman will be willing to 'go along with it' as the way forward in life.

Society is being built on false notions and it's not leading to much happiness. It's why drug use is increasing and mental health is declining as people try to come to terms with the unhappiness this has brought into their life.

You misunderstood what I was getting at. Once I finish work Iíll clarify what I meant.

Iíll also talk about video chatting and the recent changes in scammers tactics (Iíll post some conversations). Since covid, it no longer matters if you are a WOVO or a WMVM man. If you donít video chat with a woman regularly you wonít have any clue how to tell if sheís a scammer or not. Since the start of the year scammers have been using whatsapp and Skype. They have been video chatting (but not at the level of a genuine woman) and most worrying some are writing identically to genuine women and ask all the right questions. Iím currently chatting to one who has done a hell of a lot of research into my country and is very convincing. With visa scams non existent, iím expecting it to be an emergency that needs $$.

The only way I can pick a genuine women now from these advanced scammers early on, is knowing that a genuine woman who likes you will typically want to video chat 3-4 times a week. I first saw them on free sites, but now they are on monthly subscription sites too.



Title: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: 2tallbill on November 26, 2020, 05:37:14 PM
I think here, the only active posters who did see the posts before they were deleted are 2tallbill, Rosco, and John Gaunt.  And that's it.


Of course.  But the point is, we don't know the truth.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

I never commented on Moby and Mrs ExMoby. At another place people
were piling on but I said leave them be and stayed away from the conversation.
I did see the posts your were talking about. I thought it was a mistake for
there to be a thread about it.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 26, 2020, 05:53:40 PM
I can't recall who commented (other than, of course, andrew), I was just noting who was an active poster there at the time.  I believe we are the only ones who were there, and are here now.  Yes, it was not moby's finest hour.  The ex didn't post much before asking that the thread be deleted, and it was.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Faux Pas on November 26, 2020, 06:19:25 PM
I never commented on Moby and Mrs ExMoby. At another place people
were piling on but I said leave them be and stayed away from the conversation.
I did see the posts your were talking about. I thought it was a mistake for
there to be a thread about it.

IIRC Moobs opened the thread and fueled it with plenty of fodder and yes the peanut gallery piled it on pretty hard. Yet, Moobs did seem to relish in it. I thought that it was all classless and didn't participate but I did rubberneck read it. I said to myself early on, "this won't end well"
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 26, 2020, 06:40:26 PM
I said to myself early on, "this won't end well"

Indeed, FP, if there's one thing I've learned from my not quite so stellar experience of dating FSW is that arguments are best avoided. That and keep dealings simple, yet Mobe insists on making complicated affairs out of his finances just to save a few pennies. Even a tight wad like me doesn't bother to go all trouble to save a few pence. Possibly that could have made her suspicious as she probably thought, 'why the hell would someone do all that unless their dodgy'. However taking flight is hardly a stand by your man moment. Something tells me that Moby wasn't standing on as sound foundations as he might himself off thought.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: BillyB on November 26, 2020, 07:35:56 PM
Do you think it is 'fake news', BillyB  ? ;)




I already knew the truth. Just asking treadmilldude a question because I want to know how the rumor mill works here.


Some time ago, Dragonkid apologized for some things. I accepted. Although people disagree with this young man's path in life, he took a big step in the right direction. I sincerely hope he continues to grow in the right direction.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 27, 2020, 01:03:33 AM
Good  morning

My 1st Russian wife left me when she became convinced I must be have been acting fraudulently.
She learnt (much later ) that wasn't the case..but we lived 7 hours apart.

She saw how hard I worked to keep the businesses afloat. ..but what hurt me was that she could believe so, even mentioned it in her dating profile which someone from another place highlighted. I had announced our split and said another guy would be lucky to win her heart..

Boethius, I do not think V ever posted .she had been invited by the owner of the wife's forum....just observed what was being said and made a case for the thread to be nuked..about the only thing we agreed on back then.

BOTH of us said and did some stupid things..

The police WERE involved, following a complaint from V, but she withdrew it, as I pointed out I was RESPONDING and the Police simply suggested we both remove the respective Internet 'announcements'.. 

She moved to within less than a few minutes from me, recently and I helped her move in, having stored our furniture from our time together for over eight years

She and wifey get on great and wife appreciates how she has helped out during the first lockdown, delivering  shopping etc.

It seems some folk wish to try to denigrate my advice re how to behave in FSU countries by suggesting our collective stupidity during our breakup makes my extensive  experience less valid )
 ?

Trench,

while you suck up the AWFUL example others set, lurching from one temporary sex partner to another and think that is the way to go... you're never going to find a wife...

Sex is much better when you have it with someone who is a friend, knows what you like and you wake up lying next to them without regret or worrying how to keep them.. )









Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 27, 2020, 04:00:01 AM
Good  morning

My 1st Russian wife left me when she became convinced I must be have been acting fraudulently.
She learnt (much later ) that wasn't the case..but we lived 7 hours apart.

She saw how hard I worked to keep the businesses afloat. ..but what hurt me was that she could believe so, even mentioned it in her dating profile which someone from another place highlighted. I had announced our split and said another guy would be lucky to win her heart..

Boethius, I do not think V ever posted ...just observed what was being said and made a case for the thread to be nuked..

BOTH of us said and did some stupid things back then.. 

She moved to within less than a few minutes from me, recently and I helped her move in, having stored our furniture from our time together for over eight years

She and wifey get on great and wife appreciates how she has helped out during the first lockdown, delivering  shopping etc.

Well there we have it, I knew our Mobe would show us all how to go about forming a 'close' loving relationship. Why not just live 'only' 7 hours apart far better than living thousands of miles away from your other half after all and yet still consider that your still in a relationship. I'm guessing wife no. 1 thought helping out is the least she could do as she knows first hand what it's like living removed from your other half so much so that it makes you wonder if you ever were in a relationship with them ;D
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 27, 2020, 07:53:07 AM

I already knew the truth. Just asking treadmilldude a question because I want to know how the rumor mill works here.


Some time ago, Dragonkid apologized for some things. I accepted. Although people disagree with this young man's path in life, he took a big step in the right direction. I sincerely hope he continues to grow in the right direction.


Thank you , and yes I was wrong about a lot of things I said in the past. I wasn't in the right mindset, nor had proper guidance. I wish I had some guidance by the likes of Jordan Peterson and so forth , which I think trench would benefit from listening to .
I don't think I said anything bad to anyone here , apart from one poster who clearly is a bully.

I don't claim to be a relationship expert , but despite what most will say . I did do very well as someone who was broke and took trips to the FSU , my partner's supported me and commited a lot . But there is only so much someone can take , and the path I chose was a very tough one , but paid off in the end .

I am more into developing myself , rather than reading how to charm a woman by saying something fancy in Russian . Maybe that is why my posts don't resonate with some , as I am more into big  life changing actions , than romantic actions
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 27, 2020, 08:35:28 AM
Why not just live 'only' 7 hours apart far better than living thousands of miles away from your other half after all and yet still consider that your still in a relationship.

Congratulations on managing to completely get the wrong end of the stick ( and my apologies if it wasn't clear enough ) !

We were separated when 7 hours apart ..  I took work in NE England and Scotland and V went to 'big smoke'

May be try reading, again with this clarification / hand holding, before posting the usual Trench 'relationship advice' ;)
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 28, 2020, 12:51:37 PM

Thank you , and yes I was wrong about a lot of things I said in the past. I wasn't in the right mindset, nor had proper guidance. I wish I had some guidance by the likes of Jordan Peterson and so forth , which I think trench would benefit from listening to .

Jordan Peterson is very good on some subjects indeed. His You Tube video on 'Guys who are too nice' is exceptional in my opinion. Some of the points in that video I have already thought out in my mind previously and come to a similar conclusion like not finding someone exactly like you but not having someone widely different either. The point he makes on socializing kids is also a good one. So thank you for letting me know about him Japs he's stuff is indeed useful.

Some stuff he does I think can be more obvious/standard type of material though. He's view on marriage and family is true but not perfect as he kind of harks back to the way things used to be of marriages being difficult to get out off and thus beneficial as the couple either have to make it work or spend the rest of their lives tearing each other apart, that or disappear I guess lol. I think that while there is merit in that the downside is that there can be a lot of aggro in a marriage like in the situation that he mentions where they find out they are constantly at odds with each other or it turns real sour for some rest. So it can be that for some it's terrible to have it where there are no quickie divorces.

Myself I have gone through somewhat off a transformation over the past week. My world has changed almost overnight after a discovery about myself that I found out. It's kind of that I never really realized it before and it was a big part of me all along that had kind of been surpressed unwittingly by me. It's pretty much as a result of what Jordan Peterson points out in the video I just mentioned of agreeable people often never really knowing themselves as what it's surpressed (consciously or/and subconsciously) as the agreeable person doesn't want to upset anyone or go against what is societal consensus so much so that they adopt societal consensus or go with the other person's view to avoid conflict and become almost oblivious to their own mind.

That's not to say I can't be disagreeable occasionally, if something really bites me I can but most of the time I'm an agreeable person I think and till recent oblivious to a large part of myself. I was essentially on another forum I occasionally visit last weekend, a general relationship one. Anyway, I ended up asking a question and ended up discovering something about myself way more than I had anticipated. Essentially it boiled down to me not really knowing what I was looking for without me realising it as I didn't properly know who I was and had in that respect been living in a hole most of my life because of it. Looking back the signs were popping up here and there but I never really realised and connected the dots. This is not to say that I'm anything other than a straight guy btw just in case some members might be reading it that way (not bi, etc either). But it does mean that I should be able to pin point my search for a girl a lot more accurately now and will be a much different person moving forward on everything than I have been.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 28, 2020, 02:25:04 PM
I am very happy that you found Jordan value to yourself. I found him too late in my life, but it is nice listening to him. His advice is much different from other people on here, who would say learn russian language etc , he is more focused on developing yourself, he even talks about weightlifting , it is about taking control over your life, and not giving anyone that control. In ukraine a lot of people blame the system , thinking if they were in the West, their problems would disappear.

Do explain more about what you realised about yourself, on what you want in someone.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 28, 2020, 03:23:37 PM
OMG

Peterson is an 'intellectual' misogynist...pure and simple



 
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 28, 2020, 09:07:32 PM
OMG

Peterson is an 'intellectual' misogynist...pure and simple

Based on what? That he harks back to the traditional marriage format of an unbroken bond. He admits himself it's not perfect but it's better than the current situation the western world is in. Just look at the drug rate, mental health problems and male suicide rates - all of them are way, way up. Is that a society that is working for its citizens? or one where it's citizens are in pain?

Peterson is what I believe sociologists call a functionalist. He explains how society can best function.

I think he's backing of the traditional marriage system is a bit old skool these days. I think people moved away from that system for a reason as it was too imperfect. Still even that is better than the state we are in today. I personally don't think going back is necessarily the best way forward though as it's just bringing back a system that has already been moved on from so the same grounds for moving on from it still exist even though western society is in a mess at present socially speaking.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: John Gaunt on November 28, 2020, 10:52:33 PM
OMG

Peterson is an 'intellectual' misogynist...pure and simple
Please explain. Iím curious to know what an Ďintellectualí misogynist is as opposed to just a simple misogynist.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 29, 2020, 12:43:43 AM
Heís a tenured university professor, ergo, an intellectual.

I donít think  Peterson is a misogynist (unlike the majority of his fans), but he is dangerous, in that a lot of fools take his ideas as truth.

Hereís an article about Peterson that I read a few years ago.

http://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.thestar.com/amp/opinion/2018/05/25/i-was-jordan-petersons-strongest-supporter-now-i-think-hes-dangerous.html

Google was used to retrieve the previously read article link.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 29, 2020, 12:50:53 AM
Heís a tenured university professor, ergo, an intellectual.

I donít think  Peterson is a misogynist (unlike the majority of his fans), but he is dangerous, in that a lot of fools take his ideas as truth.

Hereís an article about Peterson that I read a few years ago.

http://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.thestar.com/amp/opinion/2018/05/25/i-was-jordan-petersons-strongest-supporter-now-i-think-hes-dangerous.html

Google was used to retrieve the previously read article link.

It is really interesting you think he is not a misogynist, often feminists believe he is. And misinterpret what he says
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: John Gaunt on November 29, 2020, 03:12:48 AM
Heís a tenured university professor, ergo, an intellectual.
He is an intellectual, I agree, but what is Moobs take on his correlation of Ďintellectualí and Ďmisogynistí.


Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: japtats on November 29, 2020, 03:14:02 AM
Based on what? That he harks back to the traditional marriage format of an unbroken bond. He admits himself it's not perfect but it's better than the current situation the western world is in. Just look at the drug rate, mental health problems and male suicide rates - all of them are way, way up. Is that a society that is working for its citizens? or one where it's citizens are in pain?

Peterson is what I believe sociologists call a functionalist. He explains how society can best function.

I think he's backing of the traditional marriage system is a bit old skool these days. I think people moved away from that system for a reason as it was too imperfect. Still even that is better than the state we are in today. I personally don't think going back is necessarily the best way forward though as it's just bringing back a system that has already been moved on from so the same grounds for moving on from it still exist even though western society is in a mess at present socially speaking.


I would say what Jordan preaches is what fsuw want , a provider , someone who has strength to go through tough times , is dependable on . Not someone who hides behind love quotes , saying I love you more than anything in Russian.

Some people stand on the sidelines of life , some play the game and roll up their sleeves . Jordan is the type to play the game of life and not hide away.  He helps people to take hold of their lives , and no play games looking for loop holes

What fsuw want is a man that can provide , goes to the gym , actually moves his ass to make his dreams into a reality. If you go down the romance route , you are competing against FSU males who play that game , but they don't have what you have , which might be a drive and action to do better , and the finances to actually improve your partners life
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 29, 2020, 04:32:52 AM
OMG

Peterson is an 'intellectual' misogynist...pure and simple

In your opinion, why is he a misogynist?

Iíve read and watched some of his stuff and never once saw Ďa person who dislikes, despises or is strongly prejudice against womení. I believe heís a married man with a daughter who successfully coaches women for career progression.

He's a man who tackles taboo subjects and dissects sensitive and potentially volatile topics including feminism and the gender pay gap, but heís always spoken in a considered manner with well thought out ideas. Not everyone has to agree with him but itís difficult to criticise his ideas or how he got there.

Iím guessing that you simply dislike the man (heís another hate figure for the left) but you arenít equipped to debunk his theories, so itís easier for you to call him a misogynist.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 29, 2020, 07:53:04 AM
Rosco,

As far as I am  concerned your empathy / understanding of others' situations may not be anything akin to mine.

Suffice to say, I am not surprised why we would not agree)

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 29, 2020, 10:30:27 AM
Is that your answer Moby??
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 29, 2020, 12:26:06 PM
Iíve read and watched some of his stuff and never once saw Ďa person who dislikes, despises or is strongly prejudice against womení. I believe heís a married man with a daughter who successfully coaches women for career progression.

He has stated that feminists support Muslims because they have a "an unconscious wish for brutal male domination".  He has also stated he supports "enforced monogamy", and that "order is masculine".  So I think an argument could be made that he's a misogynist.  Married men, even those with daughters, can be misogynists (note - I am not saying Peterson is one).

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He's a man who tackles taboo subjects and dissects sensitive and potentially volatile topics including feminism and the gender pay gap, but heís always spoken in a considered manner with well thought out ideas. Not everyone has to agree with him but itís difficult to criticise his ideas or how he got there.

It's not at all difficult to criticize his ideas.

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Iím guessing that you simply dislike the man (heís another hate figure for the left) but you arenít equipped to debunk his theories, so itís easier for you to call him a misogynist.

Peterson is someone who has figured out a way to make millions of dollars by exploiting rubes and misogynists.  He grew up in rural Alberta, which is not exactly known for its left wing ways.

I do think political correctness has gone overboard on university campuses.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 29, 2020, 01:02:19 PM
Is that your answer Moby??

Is that a serious question, Rosco ?

As ever, another poster put it better than I could ... Peterson has made a pile from ( soft saps ) those who believe they are 'alfa' males ( misspelling deliberate  )..



Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 29, 2020, 01:09:19 PM
He has stated that feminists support Muslims because they have a "an unconscious wish for brutal male domination".  He has also stated he supports "enforced monogamy", and that "order is masculine".  So I think an argument could be made that he's a misogynist.  Married men, even those with daughters, can be misogynists (note - I am not saying Peterson is one).

It's not at all difficult to criticize his ideas.

Peterson is someone who has figured out a way to make millions of dollars by exploiting rubes and misogynists.  He grew up in rural Alberta, which is not exactly known for its left wing ways.

I do think political correctness has gone overboard on university campuses.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

Iíve just watched the clips on YouTube regarding feminists choosing not to march against Saudi Arabia and you misunderstood his point, which was Ďthe enemy of my enemy is my friendí. Heís suggesting that radical feminists choose to ignore the treatment of women in SA because they also aim to undermine the Westen patriarchy.

Thatís different to what you suggest and it doesnít make him a misogynist.

Nobody needs to agree with Jordan Peterson but he explains his thoughts well and leaves no doubt as to how he got there. Some people get upset because his message often makes a lot of sense so the anger gets directed at him.

None of this makes him a misogynist, not even the fact he came from rural Alberta.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 29, 2020, 01:12:06 PM
Is that a serious question, Rosco ?


As ever, another poster put it better than I could ... Peterson has made a pile from ( soft saps ) those who believe they are 'alfa' males ( misspelling deliberate  )..

For the third time, yes.

You said quite unequivocally that heís a misogynist, what makes you say that? Having some followers who are right wing, insecure, white men simply doesnít qualify.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 29, 2020, 02:03:56 PM
For the third time, yes.

You said quite unequivocally that heís a misogynist, what makes you say that? Having some followers who are right wing, insecure, white men simply doesnít qualify.

Rosco,

I've met Communists, Socialists, Conservatives and nigh on fascists who are / were misogynists ..

Letís  start with a definition of a misogynist.. a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.


Peterson appeals to the latter. If you cannot see that..





Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 29, 2020, 02:23:16 PM
Rosco,

I've met Communists, Socialists, Conservatives and nigh on fascists who are / were misogynists ..
Let's start with a definition of a misogynist.. a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.


Peterson appeals to the latter. If you cannot see that..

So for the fourth time. Why is he a misogynist?

When I asked you the first time, I actually defined a misogynist so that you understood what you were claiming. Repeating what I wrote doesnít answer the question.

Can you provide evidence to support your bold claim or will you just keep saying it and hope it sticks? Or are you claiming that some of his followers are misogynists so in Moby world, he has to be too?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 29, 2020, 03:11:00 PM
Iíve just watched the clips on YouTube regarding feminists choosing not to march against Saudi Arabia and you misunderstood his point, which was Ďthe enemy of my enemy is my friendí. Heís suggesting that radical feminists choose to ignore the treatment of women in SA because they also aim to undermine the Westen patriarchy.

No, the male interviewer said for feminists, Muslims were higher on the victim hierarchy, and Peterson's response was as I noted.

FTR, I, as a feminist, have little interest in what's going on in Muslim countries, or in Europe, or in the US.  I just look at my country.  I think that's the case with most feminists. 
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Thatís different to what you suggest and it doesnít make him a misogynist.

I never claimed he was a misogynist.  But, one cannot deny, the bulk of his followers are incels/angry white men.

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Nobody needs to agree with Jordan Peterson but he explains his thoughts well and leaves no doubt as to how he got there. Some people get upset because his message often makes a lot of sense so the anger gets directed at him.

It's one position.  The issue I have with him is not his views, but that he believes that his is the only correct view.  It isn't, and it's rather ironic that Peterson criticizes "cultural Marxism", yet practices it himself.


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None of this makes him a misogynist, not even the fact he came from rural Alberta.

Again, I never claimed he was.  Please don't assume I support statements I have not espoused.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 29, 2020, 03:36:42 PM
No, the male interviewer said for feminists, Muslims were higher on the victim hierarchy, and Peterson's response was as I noted.

FTR, I, as a feminist, have little interest in what's going on in Muslim countries, or in Europe, or in the US.  I just look at my country.  I think that's the case with most feminists. 
I never claimed he was a misogynist.  But, one cannot deny, the bulk of his followers are incels/angry white men.

It's one position.  The issue I have with him is not his views, but that he believes that his is the only correct view.  It isn't, and it's rather ironic that Peterson criticizes "cultural Marxism", yet practices it himself.


Again, I never claimed he was.  Please don't assume I support statements I have not espoused.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

And for what itís worth, Iím no fan of his either and I wouldnít argue with much of what youíve said. I think he shares similar traits to other professors and intellects who really dive into subjects and probably assume they know more than anyone else.

Then again sometimes we all find ourselves believing that only our views are correct, especially if itís a topic close to our heart. Look no further than this very forum lol
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 29, 2020, 04:42:03 PM
Been watching Peterson just now on You Tube about Alpha men. Pretty much lines up with my thoughts about the way has been heading in a bad direction. Makes the point that I have often thought and I think made on here a while ago that if you double the amount of workforce by adding women you halve the salary. Thus far fewer men can support ba family in their own and that is what women often want by about the age of 30 which is often evidenced by falling birth rates.

The alpha male here are guys who work 80 hours a week in very stressful management level jobs. I think he makes a good point here too that these aren't 'fun' jobs that a lot of feminists seem to crave after. There an ordeal and could end up finishing off a man at a young age if they push it too far, examples are if course abound of that. That and while they do great at bringing the money in they can be poor choices for the woman in terms of an enjoyable and entertaining lifestyle since they are workaholics with no time for that. What I like about Peterson is that he takes stuff that has become myths and dispells it with the sober truth.

In my own field of Architecture/Construction there has been a big push to get females into jobs I the field. That's part of the reason I have chosen to walk from that and do my own thing. It not only lowers pay in jobs that can be stressful to poor salaries it also discriminates against you if you're a man as women will often be chosen as they tick the box. I'm going to laugh at the way things will look in the near future as I don't think they will enjoying the choices they made.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 30, 2020, 05:42:35 AM
Trench,

You complained about Poles undercutting.. that's competition...so you wanted 'Brexit'..You complain about female Architects, so you left the profession ..

You complain that slim girls get taken by better off guys...

Am I the only one to see a pattern?
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 30, 2020, 05:49:07 AM
So for the fourth time. Why is he a misogynist?

Once again, you 'walk away' from discussing facts on other subjects and 'insist' I must explain my opinion?..))

It is my opinion based on his scribes / vids and those who agree with his scribes...

To me it is obvious









Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 30, 2020, 06:45:04 AM
Once again, you 'walk away' from discussing facts on other subjects and 'insist' I must explain my opinion?..))

It is my opinion based on his scribes / vids and those who agree with his scribes...

To me it is obvious

And to everyone else its simply another excuse for an emotional standpoint. You don't agree with him and instead casually throw around terrible and unjust labels like misogynist or racist without proving why. Don't worry you're not alone, its a shocking new trend and always from the same group.

If you don't agree with someones ideas you should beat them in a fair intellectual debate. IMO he's one of the few guys still trying to reach out to the radical left and save them from themselves but you guys cant take anything said from a far left hate figure. He's certainly not right on everything but because he doesn't conform as you would like him to, you casually throw names at him and hope it sticks.

At least you've shown your hand here, having ducked the question numerous times. I walk away from you on other occasions because it's endless, you'll never ever see anything from another view point, other than your own and I either waste my time debating or get moderated for it.

It's not the same Moby.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 30, 2020, 07:49:12 AM
You don't agree with him and instead casually throw around terrible and unjust labels like misogynist or racist without proving why. Don't worry you're not alone, its a shocking new trend and always from the same group.

If you don't agree with someones ideas you should beat them in a fair intellectual debate.

At least you've shown your hand here, having ducked the question numerous times. I walk away from you on other occasions because it's endless, you'll never ever see anything from another view point, other than your own and I either waste my time debating or get moderated for it.


Even I will only bother to repeat myself so many times ...

You continue to prove your inability to see you are more than guilty of exactly the 'crime' you suggest for me ;)

I certainly do not seek your moderation, btw
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 30, 2020, 08:07:51 AM
Even I will only bother to repeat myself so many times ...

You continue to prove your inability to see you are more than guilty of exactly the 'crime' you suggest for me ;)

I certainly do not seek your moderation, btw

This wraps up our conversation nicely.

You fail to provide any evidence as to why you claim quite forthrightly, that Jordan Peterson is a misogynist, having been asked 4 times, other than your default position is to dislike him and some of his followers are questionable. It's quite clear to everyone else, that this alone doesn't make him a misogynist and your bold post up thread is in fact wrong. It's also quite sad that it took umpteen exchanges to bottom this out.

Now you misunderstand my simple reference to moderation. Stuff like this shouldn't be that difficult and it does make basic debate impossible. It's clear that discussing something more intricate like Brexit for example, is utterly pointless.

Hint - I'm not offering to moderate you, but referring to the moderators who need to referee this endless silliness, which IMO is a result of your thought process and writing style.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: msmob on November 30, 2020, 08:39:38 AM
This wraps up our conversation nicely.

Hallelujah
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 30, 2020, 02:44:07 PM
you'll never ever see anything from another view point, other than your own and I either waste my time debating or get moderated for it.


You, and everyone else, gets moderated for attacking the poster, rather than the poster's idea.


You're not required to accept what a poster states, but you can do so without resorting to personal attacks.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Rosco on November 30, 2020, 03:32:21 PM
Attacking the poster, rather than the posters idea is sovietesk, in that it allows you do edit, blackmail or bin anything you personally donít like. From the conversation above where youíve quoted me, it would be impossible to give Moby an honest answer as to why I sometimes give up and disengage the silliness.

A moderator may consider it attacking but itís not. Perhaps you should delete his question so I donít have to answer?

Anyway, lifeís to short for this stuff so I will do my best to abide by the Ts & Cs.
Title: Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
Post by: Boethius on November 30, 2020, 03:36:50 PM
I disagree with it being "sovietsk".  You obviously don't understand how the USSR functioned.  But, it's a policy instituted by the forum owner to make this a more pleasant posting experience for everyone, not just for posters who follow other posters around to hurl insults at them.

This post was composed without the aid of google.