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Author Topic: Hello!  (Read 6119 times)

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Offline Aleksandr1

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Hello!
« on: July 06, 2017, 11:32:53 AM »
Hi all, I am not exactly new to Russian women, I was married to one that was a green card scammer :(  She was a good one, sweet, loving, but then she gets her card and gone.  So, now that it is behind me, I am trying to figure out what to do.  I've dated American women, but I just get so bored with them.  I get tired of the relationship being so one sided.  I really want to try again with a Russian, but obviously don't want to get burned again.  When I went to the Russian dating sites before they seemed to be filled with real girls wanting a relationship, now not so much.  Seems like the majority are fakes.  Maybe I'm not looking at the right sites?  I've thought about just going there and winging it, but I was there last March and to be honest even though I met a lot of women (using Tinder mostly), they all seemed to not be interested in a relationship with a man from another country.  I've also reached out to some of the Russian people I've met while I was married, but they try to set me up with women who have kids, and right now I really am not sure I want to do that as my ex had a child and it was so painful when she left.  Any other suggestions on how to meet a good woman for a relationship?  I am 41 by the way, fit, decent job, definitely could get a woman here, but just don't want to, LOL!

Offline ML

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2017, 05:12:11 PM »
You might want to look up the definition of the word masochist.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online BillyB

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2017, 11:57:25 PM »
I was married to one that was a green card scammer :(  She was a good one, sweet, loving, but then she gets her card and gone.


A girl that has been bad all her life would have a hard time acting like a sweet loving woman. You missed or ignored the red flags. Or.... she saw something in you she didn't like.

I really want to try again with a Russian, but obviously don't want to get burned again. 


Very few people in life can take advantage of me. If you're worried about people taking advantage of you, improve how you read people and discard them quickly when they put up red flags.

Welcome to the forum. We can get you better prepared for this endeavor.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2017, 11:46:05 PM »
A girl that has been bad all her life would have a hard time acting like a sweet loving woman. You missed or ignored the red flags. Or.... she saw something in you she didn't like.

Very few people in life can take advantage of me. If you're worried about people taking advantage of you, improve how you read people and discard them quickly when they put up red flags.

Welcome to the forum. We can get you better prepared for this endeavor.

I get the impression you are good on the personality front Billy and possibly this helps you out. I think those that are weak on Personality look very vulnerable to others and are more likely to be seen as easy prey to be taken for a ride by those that are more savvy on the personality front. A weak Personality may make the guy look weak overall and not worthy and so OP may need to ask himself if this might have been a problem for him I think.
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Online 2tallbill

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Hello!
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2017, 10:44:48 AM »
I am 41 by the way, fit, decent job, definitely could get a woman here, but just don't want to, LOL!

It looks like your thread has been Hijacked.

You are 41 not 31 or 21. You will be most successful if you seek FSUW in their
early thirties. That usually includes a child. There are plenty of threads here
to help you get started.


Start here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Download the free ebook
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47

RWD Ten Commandments
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2017, 10:40:24 AM »
It looks like your thread has been Hijacked.

You are 41 not 31 or 21. You will be most successful if you seek FSUW in their
early thirties. That usually includes a child. There are plenty of threads here
to help you get started.


Start here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Download the free ebook
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47

RWD Ten Commandments
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

I agree Bill, I think part of my mistake at present was accepting someone too young. I should have hidden my profile and just contacted women instead of allowing myself to be contacted. Allowing myself to be contacted is where I have lost control over the search before in the past.

I would say thought that I think the 10 commandments could do with updating to 12. Namely 'Always visit girl in her home city first to avoid getting the wrong type of girl' and 'Never go along with a girl's wish to come to your country if she appears to be putting that first' - or something along those lines. I just think the FSU dating scene has evolved over the past few years and more girls then ever are after the 'immigration/green card' scam and as such the original ten commandments here aren't really sufficient in forewarning those embarking on this journey of these two now increasingly common pitfalls. I know others have suggested visiting girl in home city as pretty much essential and I should have taken more notice but just considered it their preference rather than the course of action I should have definitely been taking.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline ML

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2017, 10:52:45 AM »
I just think the FSU dating scene has evolved over the past few years and more girls then ever are after the 'immigration/green card' scam . . .

Not sure myself and not sure anyone could have definitive answer.

But . . . I think there are fewer FSU gals now compared to late 1990s early 2000s who will come west with almost any guy.

Enough bad experiences have been passed around by families in FSU that have caused the gals to be somewhat more selective.

And, of course, the biggest driver of all . . . economics . . . has gotten somewhat better in most areas of FSU, despite some setbacks in Ukraine and elsewhere.

But I am not an expert on this and have no real statistics re numbers of FSU gals arriving over time, etc.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline Boethius

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2017, 11:42:41 AM »
I don't think not visiting her home city is an issue.


In most smaller cities, everyone knows everyone else, through school, work, living in close quarters (apartments).  Even in Kyiv, if my husband is in the city centre, to this day he will meet people he worked with, or went to school with, or were former neighbours who moved.  So, from a woman's perspective, I understand why they don't want to meet in their home cities.  If the relationship does not work, she faces the gossip.  I think once you have a permanent relationship, it's a different story.  I would just not place too much into this. 
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2017, 01:04:23 PM »
And, of course, the biggest driver of all . . . economics . . . has gotten somewhat better in most areas of FSU, despite some setbacks in Ukraine and elsewhere.

But I am not an expert on this and have no real statistics re numbers of FSU gals arriving over time, etc.

ML,

Without naming names, I think that those without above average
social skills will always find it a challenge in the FSU. Those with
above average social skills won't find it a challenge anywhere to
be successful with women.

I spent 9 years looking for the exactly right woman before I found
Angel Eyes. It wasn't that I didn't find many, many FSUW who
would be thrilled to be Mrs 2tallbill. I wanted what I wanted and
I refused to settle for less.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2017, 02:15:30 PM »
I agree Bill, I think part of my mistake at present was accepting someone too young. I should have hidden my profile and just contacted women instead of allowing myself to be contacted. Allowing myself to be contacted is where I have lost control over the search before in the past.

I would say thought that I think the 10 commandments could do with updating to 12. Namely 'Always visit girl in her home city first to avoid getting the wrong type of girl' and 'Never go along with a girl's wish to come to your country if she appears to be putting that first' - or something along those lines. I just think the FSU dating scene has evolved over the past few years and more girls then ever are after the 'immigration/green card' scam and as such the original ten commandments here aren't really sufficient in forewarning those embarking on this journey of these two now increasingly common pitfalls. I know others have suggested visiting girl in home city as pretty much essential and I should have taken more notice but just considered it their preference rather than the course of action I should have definitely been taking.

Your actual problem is that you ignore other peoples advice so you must
learn each thing on your own. I had a similar problem when I started out.
I assumed that the rules were for others and that they didn't apply to me.

I had always done things my own way but when I made mistakes, I made
sure that I didn't make the same ones again. I kept improving and getting
better. I did always read and research what others did and try to improve
on that as well. I chased too young girls, I've used pay by the letter sites,
I've thought with my penis instead of my brain.

As for adding commandments, you can start a thread with your ideas.
Try to make them pithy and not some wordy, rambling conversation.

Examples
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action, so be a man of action
Never make a promise that you can't keep.
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up.

Stuff like that.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2017, 02:17:11 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2017, 08:34:00 PM »
Your actual problem is that you ignore other peoples advice so you must
learn each thing on your own. I had a similar problem when I started out.
I assumed that the rules were for others and that they didn't apply to me.

I had always done things my own way but when I made mistakes, I made
sure that I didn't make the same ones again. I kept improving and getting
better. I did always read and research what others did and try to improve
on that as well. I chased too young girls, I've used pay by the letter sites,
I've thought with my penis instead of my brain.

As for adding commandments, you can start a thread with your ideas.
Try to make them pithy and not some wordy, rambling conversation.

Examples
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action, so be a man of action
Never make a promise that you can't keep.
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up.

Stuff like that.

It is true that I made mistakes, I followed some advice and have ignored other advice and later regretted it, this is true. Sometimes I think it requires some experience in the field to really get what others are getting at from the advice they give you. Before I went to Ukraine I really had no clue as to what anything was like there and still if I am honest with myself it is a learning experience. I think sometimes advice is given on here but it is not always easy to grasp why it is so important even if it is explained somewhat.

So I agree a pithy phrase makes it easy to grasp but a pithy explanation is also necessary along with it I feel in order to understand why we are following these rules. I will make an attempt at this in a separate thread and see if along with other forum members we can knock it into shape - a good suggestion of yours I think Bill.

The thing is for OP is that a lot  of the newbie advice he is likely to already know and I think its perhaps not a case of not following this as to why he fell down. I think it comes to a point fairly quickly that the basic rules have all been ticked through and you're with a girl but its still no guarantee she is any good just that she is not an obvious scammer/red flag. That's where I think a new set of rules can be handy in guiding where to go from there - how to protect yourself and avoid getting cornered in a situation you would rather not be in - by inadvertently not being driver of the bus, as you so often and rightly state the importance off ;) I will draft a set of rules later as soon as I am able and post up for forum members to knock around. 
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online msmob

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2017, 10:36:25 PM »
I will draft a set of rules later as soon as I am able and post up for forum members to knock around.

Really ? My advice is don't ... unless your skin is THICK ..

As Beel points out - he has a long track record of dating howlers, disappointments and eventually found what he sought...   

When you have been married five plus years and perhaps have a kid - or 2 - with a FSU W - THEN propose some 'rules'....

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2017, 10:48:49 PM »
Trench,

You don't have a clue compared to the experiences which the Op has lived.  Don't embarrass yourself by giving advice to someone who has years of experience when compared to your paltry couple of weeks in the presence of an FSU Woman.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2017, 01:12:10 AM »
Really ? My advice is don't ... unless your skin is THICK ..

As Beel points out - he has a long track record of dating howlers, disappointments and eventually found what he sought...   

When you have been married five plus years and perhaps have a kid - or 2 - with a FSU W - THEN propose some 'rules'....

LOL yeah I know but I can't help myself.

I know I am going to get hammered on here for it but I do at the very least think more guidance needs to be given if not by myself than someone else more experienced, so I am throwing this out there as a starting point. This from what I have learnt and good advice other forum members have given me along the way which isn't remotely covered in the Ten Commandments, etc. In that way it could very much help others keep falling into the same pitfalls that I think many of us on here have done.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2017, 03:41:43 AM »
LOL yeah I know but I can't help myself.

Then get treatment!  Your pronouncements, in most cases, are akin to a child who has completed primary school declaring to the world that he is now ready to be a university lecturer.  You have spent two visits, of one week each, in Ukraine, and yet you continue to insist that you know the country, and the people, better than those who speak the language fluently and lived there for years (Boethius) and those who've been there multiple times (half the members of the forum) and have been married to Ukrainian women for 5, 10 or 15 years.

If you so desperately need to see your words of wisdom in print, write a trip report and ask for comments.  While you will certainly get a load of horse manure dumped on you for the way you've gone about it, you will also (if you're willing to sift the hay from the chaff) get nuggets of wisdom that you can use in future - many of which you've been given already, and yet you're happy to discard as irrelevant to your particular circumstances.

I have news for you - EVERYONE on their first WOVO visit thinks that they are unique.  Nobody else has ever done what they're doing; the girl is always wonderful and seems really into you (from emails, phone calls, Skype sessions or whatever); and everything is JUST PERFICK.  Then you meet and, in most (if not all) cases you wonder just how you got it so wrong.

Case in point - my first trip.  Everything had gone swimmingly for the months between first contact and first meeting - and within seconds we both knew that this wasn't going anywhere.  Don't get me wrong - she was (and, hopefully, still is) a really nice person, and we got on really well, partly because we had spent so much time corresponding and knew so much about each other already (we hadn't spoken much because her English was quite poor).  The chemistry just wasn't there, however, and so that part of the trip became very much a time for sightseeing (with her) and learning more about her world.

While many on here would decry that as a waste of time, I wouldn't.  I didn't go to Russia EXPECTING to come back with a wife or fiancée, even though that may have been the original hope.  What I did find was an amazing country that far exceeded the expectations built up over years of fascination, starting with reading books about Russia when I was a kid.  Even that short period with this lady showed me all sorts of things that an ordinary tourist just doesn't see, and for that I'm very grateful.  This, together with the time that I spent in other places on that first trip, gave me much more of an appreciation for the country than I had envisaged when I first started looking for a potential FSUW.

I know I am going to get hammered on here for it but I do at the very least think more guidance needs to be given if not by myself than someone else more experienced, so I am throwing this out there as a starting point. This from what I have learnt and good advice other forum members have given me along the way which isn't remotely covered in the Ten Commandments, etc. In that way it could very much help others keep falling into the same pitfalls that I think many of us on here have done.

You would do more good by writing the trip report I mentioned above, keeping everything that you've done in one place, and getting more answers.  Your posts are so random, and on every topic under the sun, that people get very tired giving you the same answers time and again in every single thread.  We then get frustrated all to hell because you continue to ignore the best advice that you will ever get.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2017, 02:51:43 AM »
Or.... she saw something in you she didn't like.

This phrase comes up a fair bit in this forum when a guy falls down. I'm thinking she saw that OP did not score highly on the Personality section and once she had a green card & Wealth section sorted she went looking for someone who did. It would be interesting to get OP's feedback on where he stacks up or rather doesn't as an individual to confirm where he went wrong. If Alexsandr is scoring low on the Personality section (and I know what's this is like) in that he doesn't light up a room in group situations then this is likely to be a re-occuring problem for him. Unless he controls the situation better next time then the woman could come to see him as weak and easily taken.
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Online msmob

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Re: Hello!
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2017, 02:28:05 PM »
This phrase comes up a fair bit in this forum when a guy falls down. I'm thinking...

Best not ...  ((

 

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