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Author Topic: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!  (Read 5718 times)

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Offline CaptB

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #75 on: February 14, 2019, 09:15:48 PM »
Steve,


Glad to hear you are taking things a little slower. The "hurry-ups" for adjustment of status, green card etc. sounds good......at first. But there will be an adjustment period just to things "in normal life".......some of which you can not always anticipate. Case in point:...my wife lived her entire life in 9 story Stalin era apartments. Before landing in the states......she was very excited about living in a "house". From the first night it was apparent that she was a little uncomfortable in the house. I asked her "why".......she said "all of the open space surrounding the house (normal sized suburban yard....not the boondocks). Of course within a few weeks she began see all of the advantages of living in a house.....especially "garden space" Now, of course, she would never be happy in an apartment or condo, etc. We just moved to SW Florida five months ago and already she hinted about buying the empty lot next door :-)


Congratulations !


Capt B
« Last Edit: February 14, 2019, 09:20:43 PM by CaptB »
"A Yooper in Moscovia"

Offline ML

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #76 on: February 15, 2019, 09:58:05 AM »
Case in point:...my wife lived her entire life in 9 story Stalin era apartments. Before landing in the states......she was very excited about living in a "house". From the first night it was apparent that she was a little uncomfortable in the house. I asked her "why".......she said "all of the open space surrounding the house (normal sized suburban yard....not the boondocks).

Yes, there are a couple more examples of this.

1) A former poster (he doesn't show up often here now) noted how his young FSU wife wanted to move from their nice suburban home to an apartment down into the crowded city.  This was the opposite of 'most' Americans who try to go the other direction (except for retired folks maybe).  But it was probably just a reflection of her background and what she thought was 'normal.'

2) My own wife finally told me after several years that she was somewhat afraid at our house.  Surrounded by 30 or so acres of woods and nearest other house a quarter mile or so away. 
Her family thought for sure we would be killed by wild animals.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online Maxx2

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #77 on: February 15, 2019, 10:04:52 AM »
Yes, there are a couple more examples of this.

1) A former poster (he doesn't show up often here now) noted how his young FSU wife wanted to move from their nice suburban home to an apartment down into the crowded city.  This was the opposite of 'most' Americans who try to go the other direction (except for retired folks maybe).  But it was probably just a reflection of her background and what she thought was 'normal.'

2) My own wife finally told me after several years that she was somewhat afraid at our house.  Surrounded by 30 or so acres of woods and nearest other house a quarter mile or so away. 
Her family thought for sure we would be killed by wild animals.


We had a poster here from long, long ago write a Ukrainian woman that he lived on a ranch (true) in Malibu and owned two horses he used for coyote hunting. She wrote him back and suggested he sell his horses and buy an apartment in the city.

Offline ML

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #78 on: February 16, 2019, 09:37:38 AM »

We had a poster here from long, long ago write a Ukrainian woman that he lived on a ranch (true) in Malibu and owned two horses he used for coyote hunting. She wrote him back and suggested he sell his horses and buy an apartment in the city.

It is quite amazing how some people are so influenced by their own experienced lifestyle up to any point in time and assume that it is the most desirable.  This seems to be very prevalent with FSU gals . . . but then it probably follows from them thinking they are always right about any and every thing . . . especially relative to a western person.

At the other extreme are those who migrated to North America from Europe starting 'way back when' without much of a clue as to the living conditions they would face.  They just hoped (and had heard) that a better life was possible.

I count myself lucky that I am able to be comfortable living in big cities and in rural areas.
But when given the opportunity to truly choose . . . I will always go with the rural area.

Of course those living in rural areas in USA can have a much different life than those living in rural areas of FSU.  i.e. Here we are often only an hour's drive or so away (and have a vehicle to make the trip) from a major metropolitan area for all the shopping and culture we wish for.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online SteveInBoston

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Introducing Mr and Mrs SteveInBoston
« Reply #79 on: April 27, 2019, 07:07:27 AM »
Here's and update:

Getting the most important news out of the way - we are married.

T has been here two months.  In that time she's been organizing and decorating the house room by room during the day.  A bit like Mary Condo, she's tossed out a lot of things I've accumulated but don't really use or need (she found 13 kitchen tongs among other things).  She's wondered if there's anything I don't have. 

At night we stay home mostly or sometimes shopping.  She made a big pot of soup every week - borcht (twice), bograch (type of hungarian gulash), chicken soup (twice), irish stew and a paprika based soup.  She cooks everything except bacon and steak, which she leaves to me.  For shopping, she's counted 13 different chains of grocery stores we visited (counting Walmart, which I took her once to satisfy her curiosity).  For clothes shopping, I took her to some malls and brand outlets, but her favorite is Marshalls.

Someone asked her what is it about the US she likes - she said she likes the small town where we live (instead of Boston or NYC or the ocean).  She likes our quiet town because she hates crowds.  Also, we live within an hour drive to the mountains, Newport RI, Boston, North Shore, etc.  We've been to NYC 3 times, once for her to register to vote at the consulate, once to vote during the general election, and once more last week to vote during the run off.  She loves NYC, but only to visit.

It was my birthday a few weeks back. I thought she might plan something.  I came home from work the night before and caught her decorating the house with streamers.  One of my friends were coming over and we were going out for dinner.  I wondered if my family anf friends would show up and surprise me.  When only my one friend showed up, I wondered if the surprise would be after dinner or the next morning.  We went to the restaurant (that I picked a week earlier), and when the hostess took us to our table she took us to a small function room where everyone was waiting to surprise me.  The house decoration was a red herring - brilliant.

The next morning, on my birthday, she gave me a second surprise - a Tag Heuer watch. She's been saving up a while for it and had my sister drive her to Foxwoods casino to get it.  As a bonus, my sister apparently won a lot playing the slots, which paid for the surprise dinner.

Yesterday was the third surprise of sorts.  Earlier in the week she said she's ready, that she knew she wants to marry me. 

It's not all rosy, however.  She will fly back to Ukraine soon.  There's family drama with her sister that's affecting her nephews.  Her older nephew is now with her parents and not doing well in school.  Also, there's equipment issues at their store that her parents can't handle (2 of 3 compressors broke down).

Because she is leaving the US before our adjustment of status, and before she gets an advanced parole, she will not be able to return.  I'll need to apply for a spouse visa, which takes a year to year and a half to get approved.

We are planning to meet in the summer, for a vacation to Denmark and Norway.  And we'll see if she can get a tourist visa.

In the meanwhile we are going to Bar Harbor, North Conway, and Stowe this week for our honeymoon.  A grand New England tour of sorts.

Online krimster2

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #80 on: April 27, 2019, 07:34:54 AM »
congrats!!!
I love to read uplifting stories like yours
after just so much failure on this board

what you're writing about is the "Holy Grail" my friend - the greatest treasure in the world
everything else is just "loose change" in comparison...

I have had the privilege to share this universe the last 19 yr with my Ukrainian wife
and though not a religious man
I feel like GOD entrusted me with two of his Angels
that the path to redemption is to simply be the best husband and father that you can possibly be...
 
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

Online msmob

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #81 on: April 27, 2019, 08:03:53 AM »
Great news, Steve!

She sounds like a keeper))

Online mhr7

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #82 on: April 27, 2019, 12:56:40 PM »
Congratulations!!!
"We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." - Louis Brandeis

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #83 on: April 27, 2019, 02:44:32 PM »
Don't really know why you would need a Tag Heuer watch or any watch. I've stopped using watches ever since smart phones came along, the time is always on there so just seems pointless to me spending extra time faffing around with watches and then having the thing stuck on there like some kind of electronic tag bracelet.

I don't know the ins & outs of the US immigration system but if leaving before change of adjustment of status is going to mean a delay of a year to a year and a half wouldn't she be better holding on. All the stuff talked about seems nothing that she need to be directly in Ukraine for.

Anyway, that said congrats ;D
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline ML

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #84 on: April 27, 2019, 03:34:24 PM »


I don't know the ins & outs of the US immigration system but if leaving before change of adjustment of status is going to mean a delay of a year to a year and a half wouldn't she be better holding on. All the stuff talked about seems nothing that she need to be directly in Ukraine for.


I agree. 

This going back to Ukraine before legally able to enter back into USA is pretty far out. 

I have been on the Visa Journey Website for 8 years or so, and have never read about any new wife willing leave and be without her husband for an extended period of time like forecast here.

Most go through extended anguish trying to finally be together; and then to throw it away !!!!!

Even in the final stages just before Citizenship, my wife held off visiting with her aged parents for a full two years because of the potential problem of getting back to the USA.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online krimster2

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #85 on: April 27, 2019, 09:09:10 PM »
krimster smart...
krimster eats when hungry, sleeps when tired...

Krimster say:
there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that which is his own portion:
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

Online Maxx2

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #86 on: April 28, 2019, 12:05:13 AM »
Congratulation Steve! Nice to hear when things work out well.

Offline ML

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Re: Introducing Mr and Mrs SteveInBoston
« Reply #87 on: April 28, 2019, 12:23:45 PM »

It's not all rosy, however.  She will fly back to Ukraine soon.  There's family drama with her sister that's affecting her nephews.  Her older nephew is now with her parents and not doing well in school.  Also, there's equipment issues at their store that her parents can't handle (2 of 3 compressors broke down).

These are the type of things that will continue forever.

Sister/nephew problems are best addressed by local counselor, not by persons living in another country.
Repair problems are best addressed by repair persons, not by persons living in another country.

Do any of us have foreign born spouses who would consider flying halfway around the world to fix a compressor, or even try to mend problems between mother and child?

Is talking face to face that much more effective (considering the cost and leaving a spouse) than joint talking on Skype or Viber, etc.?

Quite incomprehensible to me; especially given these are problems that no permanent solution is available for.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online SteveInBoston

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #88 on: April 28, 2019, 03:47:41 PM »
There are those whose wives emigrate to the husband’s country, more or less permanently, and there are a few who decides to live in the wife’s country.

Our relationship falls somewhere inbetween, though leaning more US than Ukraine.

My wife and I discussed this last year when we decided to get engaged.  I asked, wouldn’t you miss your friends and family, and your business?  She said no, there is whatsapp/viber/skype and airplanes.

Our initial plan was for her to wait until her advanced parole paperwork before her first trip back.  After her first week here she felt homesick and told me she couldn’t wait the extra time. 

So, instead of wasting money on the adjustment of status application, I’ll start the spousal visa app.

The situation with her family and compressor is just extra things that added to her desire to return.

The time she spent here made her realize that she likes the US, and life with me, and convinced her that she wanted to marry me.  But, as I’ve known all along, she will travel back and forth, once every three months or so to spend a month back in Ukraine.

The main need for travel is her business.  Her parents own it but she has been running it the past 8 years.  She does all the finances remotely but needs to be onsite at least every few months.

So, she’s heading back.  And I will see her in a few months.  When the spousal visa app is approved, she will be allowed to come and go as planned.  I will travel with her on some of those trips and the rest she’ll travel solo.


Today is a great day here in Bar Harbor.  Sunny all day and a breezy but not cold.  We hiked with the dogs and went up to Cadillac Mountain for a soectacular view of Maine and the sea coast.  Dogs are happy, wife is happy, and I am happy, especially after a large slice of blueberry pie.))

Offline JayH

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #89 on: April 30, 2019, 01:27:05 AM »
Steve -- congratulations. :clapping:


I was  going to comment earlier in thread -- the one size fits all  concept is very yesterday   thinking.
Life and the world has become more complicated  and there can be a lot of reasons a girl ( woman!) cannot just abandon her previous life overnight .
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Online Gator

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Re: My last night in good old USA, Ukraine here I come!
« Reply #90 on: April 30, 2019, 03:20:53 PM »
Steve,

Congratulations! 

Every story is different with different conditions.  You are making it work.  Good luck with the paperwork and the time apart.

Bar Harbor is one of the Garden Spots of the world (love Acadia NP).  Enjoy your fresh lobster.  Yummy.   

 

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