Mistakes in International Dating that only lead to failure

[Chicagoguy]

Raven, I did not mean this statement in a negative way.

I was infering that you should have more knowledge than others because of this fact.

What do I know about other men ?

I trust your judgement.

[CanadaMan]

I presume you are referring to Markus Frind, Canadian owner of PlentyofFish.com?

Yes Misha, that's the one.

[Shostakovich]

Hola,

Many thanks to the OP for an engaging if not particularly surprising post.  The signs abound which tell of the poor state of affairs between the sexes.  And here, there is plenty of opportunity for those who are so inclined to up the ante in the lovers game of dirty for dirty.  This biz draws the pigs like moth to flame.  What then when you have failed even in your ambitions to be a pig?  Never fear - there is always a lower basement.

It is not surprising that most of the searches start at 18.  Most who look through profiles are gawkers - probably spend allot of time on the porno sites too.  Of all the people who are on agency sites how many will get on the plane: 5%, 1%?  Does the OP have stats on that?

So its the the frat-boy mentality we encounter here mostly, though now in the body of a 40-60 y.o. 

Pretty girls!  Yes, they are a hit.  What makes a relationship succeed, however?  Anyone with experience in this department?


   

[Jumper]

To me it doesn't seem surprising.at all that maybe 10% of the men put up what you'd consider a normal profile,and criteria.
and the rest, not so much.


I do find it odd that in this thread , several postes ,including the OP,  mention knowledge of dating sites that are trustworthy,but do not list them.
There couldn't be a question more often asked here,and relevent, than the URL of good dating websites?
and it would hardly detract from the point being made.


* I made this great dating website ,with thousands of members,  that would benefit many of the members here,but i wont mention it here, or in PM.

but i will mention what i have found!
That men are really the crux of these  problems in international dating,
since they are notoriously shallow in their souls, and foolish in their profiles .. *





i'm not trying to pick on you ravens,,but you have to admit it comes across a bit strange......?

[CanadaMan]

* I made this great dating website ,with thousands of members,  that would benefit many of the members here,but i wont mention it here, or in PM.

...
i'm not trying to pick on you ravens,,but you have to admit it comes across a bit strange......?

You make a very good point AJ.
This line jumped out at me too when I read it.

You taunt us by saying it "would benefit many of the members here" but then you say you won't mention it here or in PM.
Let me ask you a couple of question Ravens. Where will you mention it?
Why brag about your site and then not let us have a look at it to see if it really is worthwhile?
It just doesn't make any sense at all.

[vwrw]

While you can disagree with what I posted facts are still facts. I am not making this up.

According to a definition, fact is a verifiable piece of info. Since you refuse to post a link to your site so that everyone desiring can verify the numbers you brought up here, your numbers are not facts.

[vwrw]

85% of Men are between the ages of 40 to 65 years of age.

I think if what you said was reliable info, then surveying any comparable dating site would give us estimates similar to yours.  I went on Elenasmodels  and did some research.

The statistics I derived at are as follow:
All Men 207 pages * 100 profiles per a page= 20700
Men  of age 18-39 84 pages *100 = 8400/ 20700= 40.58%
Men  of age 40-65 121pages *100 =12100 / 20700 = 58.45 %
As you can see, my statistics is significantly different from yours. And anybody can verify it.

At first I wanted to go further and challenge each of your numbers, but then I decided that if anybody  is interested  they can do it for themselves.

[BillyB]

Anyone who has seen those web sites such as brides.ru or the like, much emphasis is placed on young posing/sexy women and lets face it, it sells!!

Gylden, RW naturally dresses more feminine and expresses her sexuality more on average than her Western sisters. Be thankful for that! Bride.ru does not control the ladies that sign up or their photos they submit. The ladies submit the bikini photos themselves without having an agency push them to do it. Bride.ru does put the more beautiful ladies on the front and the not so beautiful will be seen only when you do a search. That is their marketing strategy to get men to sign up. The have done some advertising on FSU dating sites to get some of their ladies and if you go to those FSU dating sites, you will see the same thing there with massive amounts of women looking sexy.

[SANDRO43]

Bride.ru does not control the ladies that sign up or their photos they submit. The ladies submit the bikini photos themselves without having an agency push them to do it.

BillyB, I believe they do SOME checking :

Dear Ladies!
Our agency is very popular among European, American, Canadian and Australian men. Our services are absolutely free for the ladies. You can add your profile yourself. Just fill in the form. You have to follow these rules. Otherwise your profile will not be published.

-It is desirable to fill in the profile in English
-Please, be honest and careful to indicate the correct information
-If you have children do not forget to put down their age
-If you cannot find the city you live in in the list, please choose the one which is close to yours
-Indicate your full home address beginning with the post code and ending with the street name
-Do not forget to indicate your city phone code
-The more phone numbers you indicate the better
-Please, try to fill in all the fields of your profile. The most important fields are: Name, Surname, Age, Height, Weight, Mailing address, Phone number. We will not publish your profile if one of these fields is empty
-Attach your pictures to the profile. Otherwise, the profile will not be published
-It is desirable to give us at least two pictures (portrait and full height)
-Do not write your mailing address like: «Poste restante» or the address of other agency. We will only publish the profiles with your own home addresses and phone numbers
-We check all the profiles before publishing them. One of our representatives will call you up after the receiving of your profile. We will only publish your profile after his accept
-We delete profiles without Name, Surname, Phone number and mailing address. Also, we remove profiles with poor quality pictures and pictures with other persons (besides pictures with your own children). If your pictures were damaged and did not download – the profile will not be published
-If you write unreliable information: wrong phone numbers, address, pictures – your profile will be removed and marked as Blacklist. You will never be able to publish your profile on Bride.ru
-We ask you to indicate your home phone number. Cellular or work phone numbers are considered as additional in order to get in touch with you as soon as possible. If you do not have any phone numbers — we recommend you to publish your profile on other Sites

http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/service/rulesL_eng.html

In all these years, I've seen very few photos in scant clothing, and no nude - even partial - at all.

[BillyB]

BillyB, I believe they do SOME checking :

In all these years, I've seen very few photos in scant clothing, and no nude - even partial - at all.

You are correct and the checking they do is a good thing. Some ladies have told me their profile doesn't go up until they get a call from Bride.ru to verify their existence and their intentions. That kind of checking will eliminate the scammers without phones but some scammers and other type of women who see a man as a cash machine still exist there.

Sandro, you need to have your eyes checked. I've seen plenty of ladies there with bikinis on, a few with see through clothing, and a couple of ladies with their breasts exposed.

[SANDRO43]

I've seen plenty of ladies there with bikinis on

Yes. Personally, I don't consider bikinis "scant clothing", unless minimal .

a few with see through clothing,

I said "very few".

and a couple of ladies with their breasts exposed.

Missed those , and I've been receiving their daily NL for the past 6 years .

[remiel6]

Although I agree that siting sources you refuse to name even though it would benefit everyone involved at least raises an eyebrow, I thought I would clarify something.
A fact is something that is true. It has nothing to do with what is verifiable or testable. If I stand alone in a wood and scream it is a fact that I did it even though I could never prove it was done. Do not confuse what is true with a scientific process of testing something. Its a semantical difference and not really important for the purposes of this forum because as a whole I can't disagree with what you said, but nonetheless.
Just because a girl can't verify what she says is true, does not by itself make it false. It may mean the guy in question looks somewhere else, but this has to do with comfort and not truth. 

[Ravens9273]

I think if what you said was reliable info, then surveying any comparable dating site would give us estimates similar to yours.  I went on Elenasmodels  and did some research.

The statistics I derived at are as follow:
All Men 207 pages * 100 profiles per a page= 20700
Men  of age 18-39 84 pages *100 = 8400/ 20700= 40.58%
Men  of age 40-65 121pages *100 =12100 / 20700 = 58.45 %
As you can see, my statistics is significantly different from yours. And anybody can verify it.

At first I wanted to go further and challenge each of your numbers, but then I decided that if anybody  is interested  they can do it for themselves.

VWRW

Is it your habbit to try and change things people say just to make yourself look good and the other foolish?

You first changed what I said earlier to make it out I said posting pictures of houses and cars et was a mistake. I never said that.
Now you want to give information as to Elena's Models website. I have no idea what point you were trying to make by it at all.

I did not make any claim to average age of Men all over doing the search.
It was clearly said by me those figures were from my site. 85% of the Men from my site are 40 years old plus.

I then went on to what these Men were doing on the site (My Site)

You clearly do not read what people write but make rediculous responses. Spend more time actually reading and paying attention.


AJ.

I never said my site was great or would benefit anyone here. It is just a site and it is there. Why I did not mention it here or would mention it here? I am not here to try and promote the site or get free ads from RWD. In all honesty I could care less about the site at this point and if have even gave the thought to letting it shut down.

[Gylden]

BillyB,

I am 100% with you, RW do dress more sexy and feminine, it's a no brain-er. Physical attraction IMO is a big part of the relationship and my belief is that it is one of the biggest reasons AM seek FSU women.
The message I get from the OP isn't that it is wrong to seek beautiful sexy women, but that men must be careful to evaluate the age difference factor for himself (as everyone is different).
Myself I married a younger woman who is 9 years younger, IMO it is nice when the woman is a little younger.

[Jumper]

Ravens,
fair enough, and i understand the aversion to spam.
its just that question,,* where is a trustworthy site* is one of the most frequent.
so it came off as odd to say ,,here is one, but i'm not giving the URL..

and i can certainly understand thinking of shutting it down,,its likely an awful lot of work for very little to no return.

for what its worth i wasnt trying to single your post out,as others had also mentioned "good websites" but excluded the URL or names...just came across odd.

[Dave13]

Ravens, Thanks for the post, you bring  true insight to this whole process.

[groovlstk]

I realize this thread has gone off in a different direction, but I've always felt that the biggest mistake a guy can make is to let inertia keep him from walking away from a less-than-ideal situation. Two recent disastrous TRs from kens1958 and handycam are perfect examples - these guys were aware very early on during their first meetings that something was very wrong yet they allowed themselves to be used repeatedly.

I also suspect had the women they were "dating" been more patient they could have easily had both of these guys making marriage plans and filing whatever docs are required for the women to relocate.

Usually in the aftermath of such situations the men are accused of naivety or of listening to their little heads rather than their big heads, but I don't think it's that simple. It's more a matter of respect - if you respect yourself you'll take injury over cowardice and walk away no matter how stunning a woman's appearance is.

[BillyB]

  a couple of ladies with their breasts exposed

Missed those , and I've been receiving their daily NL for the past 6 years .

WARNING: DO NOT click on the link below if you have a heart condition, on medication, or pregnant. DO NOT click on the link below if your under the age of 18 unless you have adult supervision. DO NOT click on the link below if you're a member of the clergy. DO NOT click on the link below if your wife is standing behind you unless you want to contribute to the demise of your marriage.

For Sandro's eyes ONLY:  http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/ladies/728/728388P4.html

[remiel6]

Groov, I think you make a very valid point here. I think that as I read some of the trip reports you mentioned there is a tendancy for people to think "Well I'm here and I've come this far I should at least give is another day." While this is noble from a certain point of view it is like chasing cards in poker. Yes, you may grab the card that lands you a royal flush, but more often than not your only thowing more money in the pot.

[ECOCKS]

Any 40+ guy who chases that redhead deserves whatever he gets.

That said, any 40+ guy she lands with that bait and then strings her along in order to dumps her after a few fun vacations certainly played her to their benefit. she should have no complaints afterward.

[rockford75]

Due to many posts I have seen recently and the all famous age gap discussion I decided to share some information with everyone.

Once upon a time I decide to enter this business. I even went so far as having a clone of Anastasia built. I met and befriended many agencies, ask many questions and learned alot about all the people involved.

I never did follow through with the website. While I still posses all the files for the site I changed my mind on entering this business.

While I was working on the Anastasia Clone I did put up a normal dating site (without agencies) for WM to meet RW.
The purpose of this site was to build clients for the release of agency site.

I never charged for that site nor did I ever make a dime from it. It was not my intentions.
While I changed my mind about the big picture I never took the FREE site down. I have other websites (completely unrelated to RW) and own my own server so the dating site does not cost me anything to keep online.

I am not here to promote that site. In fact I will not say the name of it at all, not even in private PM's. That is not the purpose of this post.

I want to share with everyone what over 3 years (time this website has been online)of observation has shown.

At the present there are several thousand WM and several thousand RW on the website.

This is a website whee profiles are reviewed before activated. So I see all and with that it is easy to see why many fail on this adventure yet none ever talk about or admit here.

Just like any site mine includes areas for picture, self description, and description of partner they are searching for including age range.

85% of Men are between the ages of 40 to 65 years of age.
Did you know 95% of those Men start the age at 18 of the lady they are looking for? FACT
Yet most list the max age at 15 to 20 years younger then themselves (40 year olds will still go to 30 however 50+ in age rarely go above the age of 35.

We have all seen Men complain about GCG and those who use them for Money.
While this is a big complaint for many do you know that 90% of Men use their financial status and Western Passport as a ploy to meet ladies? Most Men spend more time describing what they have then who they are in self description. They even go so far as posting pictures of their cars, house, and other toys in profiles.
It seems ironic that what they complain about the most is also what they use the most to meet ladies.

Another huge mistake I see many make and if anything gives the most details as to the Man's character and what type of person they are.
Most Men when describing the lady they are looking for use words and phrases such as:

Must be beautiful
Must be slim
Good in Bed
Big breasts

This is just an example but what I see far far too often. No where do they describe the real person they want to meet but are more concerned on the physical beauty, and sexual habits of the ladies rather then the type of person the lady is.
What the Men who post this do not realize is they are already showing a lack of respect for Women. They show they are not looking for compatibility but a trophy wife or sex toy.
Women are looking for someone they are compatible with. Someone who shows they care and respects them. Those simple things go along way and without them you will not succeed.


Now on the other side It is very rare a lady will list looking for a Man over 10 years her senior. The exception usually applies to Women over 40 who will list a higher age range. The 18 to 20 year old ladies (which is also rare to see since this is not an agency site) hardly go over the age of 25. A Very few will list up to 30 but not over.

Sites like Anastasia or HRB could not survive with accurate age ranges the lady seeks considering they thrive on 18-22 year olds and their main customers are over 40.

The Men I see who succeed are those who are realistic in their search. They are also the Men who are looking for someone compatible with them and not just a pretty face. While many say they want someone compatible they in truth look for someone much younger and beautiful and compatibility is the last of their concerns.

While some here may want to argue these points I am actually showing the facts of 3 years and thousands of Men. These facts are the things most think are hidden to only the ladies to see in their profiles and ones many will not admit to others.

In conclusion if you are one of the above as described this journey is a waste for you to even begin. Until you change your thinking process you will only see failure in your future.

For the rest of you I thought maybe these truth you would find interesting to learn. It sure does explain alot of the people we see coming in here from time to time.

Very nice Post!! What you write is sooo true about alot of guys out there looking for a gal. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!