Help in Kharkiv - mmm I wouldn't recommend the terp and driver/apartment agency I was introduced to by the girl I met there - If your scenario sounds anything like this then put your wallet in your pocket and keep it there.
Here are several scam scenarios rolled into one to save time. But let’s be kind and first explain why scamming you or at least milking your generosity is justified, yes, not only justified but her duty to her family.
She lives at home with her mother who is divorced or with her father or stepfather who is a man who is now unemployed, he stinks because he takes a shower once week and he is a drunkard. Her mother or she works part time and she has a job that is paid in cash, she has no personal bank account and she in fact can not open one like a US or European woman can. Only companies have bank accounts there. I tried to open one for a girl and they refused to. She likely lost her job that paid x and now can only get a job that pays x/2 or x/4. I am told that 200 USD a month is a common wage, so keep that in mind if you start to shell out cash.
If she gives you a bank account that money can be wired to. IT IS NOT HERS. If you send money by Western Union for a ticket to meet you in a 3rd location…. 90 % sure she won’t show. You cannot find out from WU who collected the cash where. Not even in which city in Ukraine! You asked her for a copy of her passport. It was a forgery. How did an expert spot it? The photo of the girl was sharp, the border around the picture was sharp but the writing with her name was not so sharp. The blur should be uniform. Just tell them you will send a ticket to Turkey or wherever via Intourist, the government run travel agency. Click goes the phone line, dead goes the email address and she is soon gone from the website. However in the case of Mamba this particular girl is still there despite a no show and complaints. The same kind of complaint on EM and I uncovered a few potential disasters without falling for them – resulted in suspensions.
And she looked good enough to be a fashion model… that’s because she was a fashion model – they lifted her photo. Or she was a girl next door with huge assets but she lived 600 miles from an international airport. Uh uh if she is that beautiful she is already in the capital being wined dined and exhausted by a guy half your age and with 10 x your net worth. Yes there is money in the Ukraine and Russia and the girls they don’t want are the ones with an attitude they don’t like or just not beautiful and young enough any more. And maybe they have a point… Lots of girls on the agency lists have an inability to commit to a relationship or have fantasy dreams that cannot be fulfilled in Russia or London or NY.
Typical current scenario. Her family borrowed money for a house or a car two years ago. These loans are in US dollars!!!!! The exchange rate has collapsed and the dollar is up 40% against the Grivna and they have to repay in dollars. Wages have halved or worse. Mom and dad have a pretty daughter. She’s not pretty? No worry Photoshop will prevail or … here use these photos instead…
The loan sharks want $700 a month or else, so you are told, but that’s not your problem she says… a bus or train ride of 500 miles in Ukraine costs 130 grivnas / 8.5 = 15 dollars. A plane from Kiev to Odessa or Kharkov is $80-90. So even if she shows up in a 3rd city and you shelled out $2-300 for her travel and passport to wherever you have already been done. One or two more like you that month and she is done with you all.
So you meet someone. She eats, the driver eats the interpreter eats, the agent for your apartment, the owner, the waitress, the restaurant owner, the hotel, the guys who owns the shoe shop, the makeup shop, the fashion shop, the train company, the customs/immigration guy who shakes you down as you leave Kharkov airport. … the list goes on. They all get a cut of your costs and it is a staple industry there, fleecing middle aged Americans.
The restaurant… you try to pay with your card …. Oh the line is down we need cash… bull …. They want cash because they pay their staff off the books, so have cash ready… here is a typical cost even for a non avaricious genuine girl you visit for a week.
Apartment .. 80 a day
Taxis or driver 30 on up a day.
Lunch – watch out this can be for 2-4 people, the interpreter ain’t gonna bring sandwiches when your girl wants Suchi…and the driver, well sometimes they eat too if you don’t wise up, 80-150 .., then there is dinner … tip - cook at the apartment for lunch and dinner. For 150 you can all eat for a week like kings.
Get an interpreter that has a car and drives. Get an interpreter direct. Don’t meet girls who don’t drive and don't speak English ))
She gets 5 and hour from the agency but the agency will charge you 15 or 20.
10 hours a day and you are up to 150.
But a university educated linguist will likely be working for an agency. Why visit a girl who does not speak English? Well …. I thought she did until it was too late… Whattt? The letters were good English – when she said she had fair or basic English but got some help…. That means she speaks not a word!!!!! The whole letter was translated. But you were off guard because she actually answered your questions and was actually a real person.
So $4-500 a day plus arrival presents for her and close family plus the odd impromtu spontaneous bottle of Champagne or perfume and say goodbye to several thousand dollars, and you might not even get a kiss.
Ask a girl about her last long term boyfriend and she will tell you that it took her 3-6 months of seeing him around every day at work or University for 3-6 months before they were … errrr acquainted. Oh and when a girl says she was at university for 4 or 5 years and you equate that with a BA or BSc degree. Don’t. You can go to university to get a certificate to be a shop assistant.
Ask questions, I did - But there were anomalies, e.g. when were your EM pictures taken? Two years ago. When did you break up with your long term boyfriend? One year ago. 3 weeks between these questions. She forgets, she was dumping this guy a year before he knows he was gonna be dumped. There but for …. . Now the wastiline is 3 inches larger, the bust 3 inches less and the hair colour is halfway between the blond in the photo and the dark brown in the passport. The eyes aren’t blue but brown, oh contacts … yes blue contacts. Those legs are 6 inches shorter than in the photos. 5 ft 8 … yep with 6 inch heels…
She needs a computer to Skype with you from home… Er OK maybe a netbook but... no way too small… but she doesn’t speak English, er Ok there is an add in to skype that translates on the fly. OK … but the downloading of Skype instructions are in English so she cant download Skype … not kidding… so 12 days between emails now and she will visit me after she has learned English …. Righttttt.
“Oh I need some shoes, or a bed for me and a bunk for my son”. You move in for a kiss – “Oh NOOOOO its too soon for a kiss. In Russian culture a kiss is serious” Yea right, then it’s too soon to go shopping.
Don’t go shopping even if you want to buy them something. Give her whatever cash and let her go shopping while you go see plan B . It’s a finite amount, going shopping will take a whole day. If she wants shoes she will visit 6 shops and then back to the one with her size and style. Shoes cost from $100 to 1000 and the trick now is you can only buy these shoes with this bag.. Bull…. But she really needed some sensible walking shoes to take you around all those “galleries museums, churches, the forest, the zoo etc. “ So how come you never saw a museum …. Well sensible walking shoes are 4 inch heels instead of 6 inch heels. So now she really needs a $2000 operation on her feet because she has crippled herself with 6 inch pointy toe high heels.
And its lunch time in Kharkov and by the time they bring you your starter the girl, the translator and the driver have had 3 ice creams each after 3 courses of suchi. Ha ha ha so funny… Oh didn’t you know … we eat starters here after our main course??? Your main course arrives after their desert and then you get your starter, and the card machine does not work… I kid you not.
Down in the Kharkov Hotel lobby are 7 Americans and two Russian speaking women and a dozen suitcases. Turns out to be a dating tour from the big company. I talk to one of the guys I overheard at breakfast. He said next time he was coming alone. Same comments about Photoshop, nothing like her pictures, would never get involved with a non English speaker again.
Met another guy – English in the Mir hotel Kiev. A hooker had just propositioned him at the bar. He had refused. Twice divorced, hardened cynical. He had been to Donetsk, according to him gangland, mafia… Also to Kharkov, alright in comparison, it was once the capital city of the Ukraine. He refuses to send them any money and if they want to get to him in the UK he will re-imburse them when they get there. Sorts the wheat from the chaff in his opinion – but from the conversation I would not trust his judgement on other matters but ….
Where is that dress I bought you last week? Ohhh I moved and my aunt unpacked for me and I cant find it… Ummmm maybe I gave her the receipt and the rent needed to be paid so she took it back and got the cash. Keep the receipts, because you will need them for the Visa applications (your excuse).
And so it goes …. Cynical - maybe but If you are about to set off for Ukraine my advice is go there with no arranged meetings beforehand and read this first
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10490.0Go and get your own infrastructure sorted out at the right prices and say no drivers, no interpreters, no apartment agents, no shopping trips. Now tell the girl you previously met in online you are there and invite her to lunch…. In other words set yourself up instead of being set up by the locals. IO am not saying that Ukraine is any better or worse than any other FSU country but - milking men from abroad is an organised and very lucrative business there. Your mileage may vary. Stay at the Kharkov hotel for 80 a night and look after yourself! There is a inet cafe for a few bucks an hour with Skype & cameras out the hotel door, turn left and it's 50 metres on your left. I was a greenhorn but after a few trips to Kiev, Nikolaev, Odessa and Kharkov, I would never get local "help" again. Even the apartments are cheaper if you search the russian language version of the website and translate it with google... 50-80 instead of 120 + for the same apt.
R
