Adultery & Divorce - Do Russian Women ever get deported?

[Bruno]

Maxx the law don't limit men accused of abuse directly... imagine you futur bride at the interview with a CO who explain all you marital past and criminal charge ( "It also authorizes U.S. consulates to share criminal background information with fiances" http://heraldnet.com/stories/06/01/06/100loc_b1law001.cfm ) ... the CO will not make the difference between false DV and real DV... he will only read some report... What do you think will be the reaction of the foreign bride listening a official from US gouverment explaining the past criminal charge from her futur husband... She will run away... So, men with DV are not blocked directly but these new law can break several couple... 

1             ``(2) INFORMATION.--The information required
 2       to be provided in accordance with paragraph (1) is
 3       as follows:
 4                   ``(A) Any arrest, charge, or conviction
 5             record for homicide, rape, assault, sexual as-
 6             sault, kidnap, or child abuse or neglect.
 7                   ``(B) Any court ordered restriction on
 8             physical contact with another person, including
 9             any temporary or permanent restraining order
10             or civil protection order.
11                   ``(C) Marital history, including if the per-
12             son is currently married, if the person has pre-
13             viously been married and how many times, how
14             previous marriages were terminated and the
15             date of termination, and if the person has pre-
16             viously sponsored an alien to whom the person
17             has been engaged or married.
18                   ``(D) The ages of any and all children
19             under the age of 18.
20                   ``(E) All States in which the client has re-
21             sided since the age of 18.


 

[Maxx]

Thanks Bruno. This legistation has allot of good in it in one degree and allot of bad in it in another. I am all for telling the potential brides the pasts of their men. However many men get blackened by the law in Kangaroo-rush-to-judgement-courts here in the US. The courts don't care that people get records. To them a civil court judgement is no big deal. But to a man who has stayed with in the law all his life it can be a big deal to him. It is my belief that almost everyone in the US will someday have something negative on their records that can raise suspicion and prejudice. The laws are so numerous and restrictive that any marriage can be considered abusive. "Don't argue with your wife or you could be charged with emotional, verbal and psychological abuse."  

But you know what Bruno what is real the danger here with all this? People will start making up their own laws. If you can't win so why try to stay with in the law?  

I talked to fellow last night. His Russian did an "Elvira" on him. Right after their marriage she refused to sleep with him. A few months ago she left him. She was taken in by another RW/AM couple. She made a move on the husband and succeeded. She was forced out of the house by the Russian wife. She went to a shelter. This couple is now splitting up. The husband asked for a divorce. The shelter that took in the RW in is helping her get affidavits from various people so they can file an I-360 abuse petition on her husband. Such injustice! But you know what? She will get the reward of United States Citizenship while her victims will get broken homes and a lifetime criminal or civil record.

You know Bruno when you and jb go at it over political issues I stay out of it. Do you know why? I have lost all love for my country as represented by it's government. I love America and it's old fashioned ideals but those are not the ideals of my government or it's judicial system anymore and perhaps it never was.

Maxx

Dan should make this thread a sticky.

 

 

[Admin]

Dan should make this thread a sticky.

Check out the poll, and vote - here: http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/forum11/1150.html

- Dan

[c5driver]

Here's an update on the situation with my RW.

After delaying the divorce for months to try to blackmail me into helping her with her GC interview (now she's apologizing for that) my RW is now pressuring me (in a friendly way) to finish the divorce ASAP (and is not asking for a dime:D).

Today she called me up and said that she wanted to return to Russia and finish her degree, so she needed the divorce. I assume this means that she wants the divorce so her new BF can bring her back to America on another K-1 Visa. I'm thinking that she'd be staying here if she was doing the DV self petitioning route. I think getting the divorce would actually complicate the DV self petitioning route, so I don't think she's doing that.

I don't enjoy having her living with the neighbor down the street, but I care about her and wish her success in America. Unfortunately for her I told the USCIS investigators the truth about her trying to blackmail:shock: me about the GC interview. I wonder if they will give her another K-1 - What does everyone on the fourm think?

I finished most of the divorce paperwork myself today. I care about her and I don't want to keep her from moving on with her life. I guess like Sting always says if you love someone you need to set them free.

Today on the phone she apologized for some of her actions (adultery/blackmail) and I apologized for not being a perfect husband (giving my ex-wife's new baby really bothered her). Still, I wish that she had given our marriage more than 4 months before moving on to the neighbor. Divorce is really sad.

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Here's an update on the situation with my RW.

After delaying the divorce for months to try to blackmail me into helping her with her GC interview (now she's apologizing for that) my RW is now pressuring me (in a friendly way) to finish the divorce ASAP (and is not asking for a dime:D).

Today she called me up and said that she wanted to return to Russia and finish her degree, so she needed the divorce. I assume this means that she wants the divorce so her new BF can bring her back to America on another K-1 Visa. I'm thinking that she'd be staying here if she was doing the DV self petitioning route. I think getting the divorce would actually complicate the DV self petitioning route, so I don't think she's doing that.

I don't enjoy having her living with the neighbor down the street, but I care about her and wish her success in America. Unfortunately for her I told the USCIS investigators the truth about her trying to blackmail:shock: me about the GC interview. I wonder if they will give her another K-1 - What does everyone on the fourm think?

I finished most of the divorce paperwork myself today. I care about her and I don't want to keep her from moving on with her life. I guess like Sting always says if you love someone you need to set them free.

Today on the phone she apologized for some of her actions (adultery/blackmail) and I apologized for not being a perfect husband (giving my ex-wife's new baby really bothered her). Still, I wish that she had given our marriage more than 4 months before moving on to the neighbor. Divorce is really sad.

My immediate reaction is - get her the heck back across the ocean as soon as humanly possible! If she has opened the door, then do whatever you can to get her over there NOW - nothing else would even be crossing my mind at the stage you are at. Forget the divorce - that is for HER. Get her back to Russia, and then process the papers ar YOUR leisure and without ANY threat of DV hanging over your head.

Forget all the "sad" thoughts - there is time for that later. You have a golden opportunity to skate out of this 'clean' and with little damage to ANYONE. Take it!

- Dan

[Vaughn]

Dan's advice is sound - fly her back there as soon as you can. She DOES NOT need a divorce to finish the degree work, and the longer the present situation festers, the greater the chances of a DV charge rearing its head.

The sinister side of me thinks... give 'er a homemade AP document and watch sparks fly when she tries to cash it in...just kidding of course.

C5, your compassion for her well-being is noteworthy. FWIW, the BF is unlikely to ever bother filing K-1.

As Dan suggests:

If she has opened the door

hold it open wide and gesture her through !!

[jb]

If, and that's always a huge "IF" you can get her to return to Russia,  and her object is to return to the US on another K-1, you will have a  sweet opportunity to save yourself a ton of cash on the  divorce.    It costs 100 rubles to get married in  Russia, and 80 rubles to get divorced.

Those Russian guys at least got that part right.

[c5driver]

If she has opened the door

hold it open wide and gesture her through !![/quote]
I really don't have any way to make her fly back - she's living with her boyfriend now and they make the decisions. But she wants to return to Russia ASAP after divorce to finish her degree.

In some respects (adultery, lack of loyalty) I see her as a bad person but in many respects she is a good person. I wish her a good life in America (just not with my neighbor).

I wonder if she'll make it back to America if she goes to Russia. I think the boyfriend will file the K-1, but you never know. Would getting a 2nd K-1 be easy for her? I'd think with her history it might not be.

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

I really don't have any way to make her fly back - she's living with her boyfriend now and they make the decisions. But she wants to return to Russia ASAP after divorce to finish her degree.

In some respects (adultery, lack of loyalty) I see her as a badperson but in many respects she is a good person. I wish her a good life in America (just not with my neighbor).

I wonder if she'll make it back to America if she goes to Russia. I think the boyfriend will file the K-1, but you never know. Would getting a 2nd K-1 be easy for her? I'd think with her history it might not be.

You started this topic by asking if RW ever get deported. It seems clear that your original intent was to see that she was sent back to her home country. She has now opened the door, at least a sliver, for exactly that to occur - not through formal deportation, but the end result is the same.

I see you as being a person who is deeply hurt by what occurred, and you seem (at least, to me) to be rationalizing her behavior into something it is not.

Bottom line is - she is NOT a nice person. Period. End of story.

Further bottom line is - the longer she is here, the longer YOU are exposed to a risk you should not bear.

Wake up! Take action - to the extent you can, facilitate her return to Russia! Pay for her tickets. Convince her there is a good reason to compel her return. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

This one is a no-brainer.

- Dan

[c5driver]

You started this topic by asking if RW ever get deported. It seems clear that your original intent was to see that she was sent back to her home country. She has now opened the door, at least a sliver, for exactly that to occur - not through formal deportation, but the end result is the same.

I see you as being a person who is deeply hurt by what occurred, and you seem (at least, to me) to be rationalizing her behavior into something it is not.

Bottom line is - she is NOT a nice person. Period. End of story.

Further bottom line is - the longer she is here, the longer YOU are exposed to a risk you should not bear.

Wake up! Take action - to the extent you can, facilitate her return to Russia! Pay for her tickets. Convince her there is a good reason to compel her return. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

This one is a no-brainer.

- Dan

When I first started the thread I had failed to understand that she became unhappy during the last month or 2 of the marriage (she claimed to be happy in the beginning). I did some things (like wanting to be involved with the new baby of my ex-wife) that in hindsight I really wish I didn't do (my RW is very jealous, and I wish I had been more sensitive). Before I thought of her as a trade up girl/adulterer/liar.

Now I see things for her perspective that she became unhappy towards the marriage and felt trapped. She claims she'll stay in Russia if things don't work out with her BF.

I wish so much that she had told me she had serious problems in the marriage - I would have worked hard to fix the marriage. She claimed she didn't plan the affair - it just happened.

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

When I first started the thread I had failed to understand that she became unhappy during the last month or 2 of the marriage (she claimed to be happy in the beginning). I did some things (like wanting to be involved with the new baby of my ex-wife) that in hindsight I really wish I didn't do (my RW is very jealous, and I wish I had been more sensitive).Before I thought of her as a trade up girl/adulterer/liar.

Now I see things for her perspective that shebecame unhappytowards the marriage and felt trapped. She claims she'll stay in Russia if things don't work out with her BF.

I wish so much that she had told me she had serious problems in the marriage - I would have worked hard to fix the marriage. She claimed she didn't plan the affair - it just happened.

Look - you can rationalize what she did if you like. You can choose to remain in a constant state of denial as to what she did, and who she is.

There are several serious bottom lines to be drawn from your experiences. No-one can make you see them. Only YOU can determine what is truth and what is not.

Bottom line # 1. She was married and had an obligation to communicate with you if she was unhappy. She did not.

Bottom line # 2. The fact that she CHOSE to engage another man in an adulterous relationship speaks VOLUMES about her character - and it is NOT positive in any way, shape, or form.

Bottom line # 3. You have expressed, on numerous occasions, your anxiety and concern over a trumped-up DV charge - and others, with more experience, concur with your concern. You are under some significant threat/risk NOW - whether you see it or not.

Bottom line # 4. She continues to engage in an adulterous relationship with your neighbor just down the street. She knows, full-well, just how humiliating this must be for you to endure - but she persists. Again - this speaks VOLUMES for her character - and she cares little, or nothing, about you and your feelings.

You did ABSOLUTELY *NOTHING* wrong by expressing some interest in the birth of a new child into the world.

If you are so devastated that you cannot see any of the truths above, I am going to suggest to you that you NEED some professional support. I can refer you (through PM) to an exceptional online group who can probably put you in contact with someone in your area who can help you. I will only respond if you send me a PM requesting it. At this stage, it seems you are somewhat delusional about the situation, and it may not be possible for anyone to help you until you fall deeper into the quagmire.

I apologize for the harsh commentary - but I truly believe what I have written - as hard as it may be for you to read and assimilate it.

- Dan

[catzenmouse]

Bang on the money with that one Dan. I started to reply earlier but thought while I was typing that c5 is really hopeless to catch the clues that are flying all around about this woman. Hopefully this post of yours will sink in enough to start a fire under his behind and get past this "poor little RW".

Ken

[c5driver]

Bottom line # 2. The fact that she CHOSE to engage another man in an adulterous relationship speaks VOLUMES about her character - and it is NOT positive in any way, shape, or form.

Bottom line # 4. She continues to engage in an adulterous relationship with your neighbor just down the street. She knows, full-well, just how humiliating this must be for you to endure - but she persists. Again - this speaks VOLUMES for her character - and she cares little, or nothing, about you and your feelings.

You did ABSOLUTELY *NOTHING* wrong by expressing some interest in the birth of a new child into the world.

The seriousness of adultery really varies from from society to society. In some muslim countries my RW could get executed from what she did. In some states I can sue her BF from what he did, but in CA adultery is effectively legal (laws against it are still on the book but they're not enforced). I wish that we still had real laws against adultery, but we don't.

Clearly she puts her happiness before my happiness. She saw a better potential partner so she traded me in. Clearly bad behavior. But I did a few things I regret before this happened that might have contributed to her behavior. Then again, she never appreciated the good things that I did for her (bringing her to America, teaching her to drive, many trips to the USCIS, etc).

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

The seriousness of adultery really varies from from society to society. In some muslim countries my RW could get executed from what she did. In some states I can sue her BF from what he did, but in CA adultery is effectively legal (laws against it are still on the book but they're not enforced). I wish that we still had real laws against adultery, but we don't.

Clearly she puts her happiness before my happiness. She saw a better potential partner so she traded me in. Clearly bad behavior. But I did afew things I regret before this happened that might have contributed to her behavior. Then again, she never appreciated the good things that I did for her (bringing her to America, teaching her to drive, many trips to the USCIS, etc).

I've provided you a link in a PM. You should spend some time with people who are much-better equipped to help you see through the fog of your pain.

I wish you well - but urge you to spend MUCH more time on the other board than here. We simply are not equipped to help people struggling with the issues you face right now.

- Dan

[jb]

C5,

I feel compelled to say, I think you have been extraodinarily foolish  in your feelings for someone who does not share, or return these same  feelings.  I also do not fully understand your connection with  your ex-wife, or the ex-wife's new baby, (you've mentioned it several  times so I guess it's important to you), unless you had some connection  with the making of this child.   Something tells me you've had  trouble with cheating wives in the past.  If it's not your baby  you should have been emotionally neutral, at least, about the baby, not  so ga-ga eyed over a baby that was not of your own making that it  imperiled your new marriage.  I do find that part of your story  strange to the max, in short, you shot yourself in the foot all by  yourself with that one.  However, I doubt that was the straw that  broke the camel's back regarding your relationship with a new cheating  wife.  That was bound to occur, with or without the ex-wife's  baby.  She is, and wasn't a nice woman from the outset.  I  see patterns repeating here.

Personally, it looks to me as though you have some relationship  problems that will require some professional help to sort  out.   You have proven (stated here empirically and  suggestively) over and over again that you have trouble letting go when  someone dumps you on the trash heap of life.  People end  relationships, that's a fact of life, people get divorced and move on  with life, putting the bad parts behind them and going forward.   You do not seem to have that ability.

I'm not trying to disrespect you and your feelings in the least, but  you are being the Lone Ranger here, everyone else in your sad tale is  off pursuing their own interests and you are the hair clog in the drain  pipe of life. 

No matter how many times, or how much, you may wish things were  otherwise, this woman does not love you.  She wants to start over  with a new direction in mind.  The best thing you can do is to  facilitate her and get it out of your system.

If at all possible, get her on a plane back to Russia ASAP~!

[Rando]

Geesh...Im begining to see why she left you.....stop being so needy....

Yes she will easily get another K1....but why do you care? Shes gone....what part of that are you missing???? Shes down the street banging the neighbor....buck up man and get her a$$ on the airplane before she changes her trecherous little mind and decides to file DV charges against you. You have already been told that she will easily be granted the green card simply because Vermont Service Center rubber stamps what must be the last remaining great loophole... and you wont get a chance to say or add one word of testamony ....they take her word and they dont ask you...if she finds this out she aint going nowhere and you are labeled for life as an abuser and you wont be eligable for another K1....hows that for fair????

Get off your ass and get her gone ....stop crying....its not a crime to kiss a baby either stop making excuses for her ....its makes you both look bad.

 

[Vaughn]

C5,

   Should you happen to get a notice that your case has been sent to the California processing center, she might wind up with an interviewless green card by mail. This would be an abomination. You'll be on the hook financially long-term while the another guy enjoys the fruits of your effort in getting her here.

   You've already spoken with Immigration about the "blackmail" deal, right? Have you checked into what's necessary to abort your AOS process?

   I can identify with your compassion and charity - but realize and believe those qualities can be taken to the point of self-destruction. Your very future and well-being are at extreme risk; this girl, without a wince, could bury you. Dan has offered you a link to some specialized help/advice -  I trust you've considered his offer as an opportunity to find peace and closure to this mess.

[c5driver]

You've already spoken with Immigration about the "blackmail" deal, right? Have you checked into what's necessary to abort your AOS process?

Vaughn,

Yes, I told the USCIS about her "blackmail" deal (threatening to make the divorce difficult unless I helped her with the interview). I also withdrew my support for her I-485 Adjustment of Status application. That's the correct way to abort the AOS status, according to my atty.

She wants to get divorced quickly now. When I reminder her of how she delayed the divorce 3 months with her "blackmail" deal she actually apologized for her actions.

My situations sucks,

C5driver

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

You've already spoken with Immigration about the "blackmail" deal, right? Have you checked into what's necessary to abort your AOS process?

Vaughn,

Yes, I told the USCIS about her "blackmail" deal (threatening to make the divorce difficult unless I helped her with the interview). I also withdrew my support for her I-485 Adjustment of Status application. That's the correct way to abort the AOS status, according to my atty.

She wants to get divorced quickly now. When I reminder her of how she delayed the divorce 3 months with her "blackmail" deal she actually apologized for her actions.

My situations sucks,

C5driver

No, your situation does not "suck" - it merely requires you to accept some realities and take some actions.

Forget for a moment about what SHE needs. What do YOU need? YOU need to gain some peace of mind. How do you get that? My guess is that you need to get her out of your life ASAP - and that means getting her out of your neighborhood ASAP - and ridding yourself of the ongoing liability/threat she represents. Do YOU need a divorce - well, sure - but not immediately. You will need some time to recover AFTER you gain some distance from her. You will not be ready to do anything which could be limited by the lack of a final divorce for quite some time - hence, the divorce is not a high priority.

You priorities are clear - though I recognize you will have great difficulty seeing, and accepting, the NEED to act on those priorities.

Once again - find some support - preferably professional support. Get involved with a therapist or organization who has experience with dealing with the sort of pain you are suffering. If you are a religious person, or have considered it previously, consider it more seriously now and maybe find a church. Find SOMEONE to lean on and provide you with a more balanced perspective - which you do not, and probably CANNOT, have right now.

Do NOT - under any circumstances - trust your feelings and judgment to get you through this. No matter if your judgment were always very sound in the past - it is NOT now.

Pay attention - your future depends on it.

- Dan

[c5driver]

Forget for a moment about what SHE needs. What do YOU need? YOU need to gain some peace of mind. How do you get that? My guess is that you need to get her out of your life ASAP - and that means getting her out of your neighborhood ASAP - and ridding yourself of the ongoing liability/threat she represents. Do YOU need a divorce - well, sure - but not immediately. You will need some time to recover AFTER you gain some distance from her. You will not be ready to do anything which could be limited by the lack of a final divorce for quite some time - hence, the divorce is not a high priority.

Unless I sell my house and leave the neighborhood then she'll be around. I doubt the USCIS is going to deport her, and she wants to marry my neighbor - they may raise there children in the neighborhood (then again, she may take off again).

She wants to return to Russia soon to finish her degree, then she probably expects the neighbor to file for a K-1 Visa to bring her back. This is probably out of my control.

[Vaughn]

We have two attorneys in my extended family but I'm not one of them; however, in California, an annulment might be the easier and faster way to go. Fraud can be grounds according to Kinsey Law Offices in Seal Beach, and lo and behold, the GC is referenced:

 "A judgment of nullity based on fraud is also warranted where one party's motive in entering the marriage was solely to obtain a green card (to acquire U.S. residency status) and he or she never intended to engage in sexual relations with the other or to meet marital duties."

I read the "AND" as meaning she would have to satisfy  
both conditions, but as stated, I'm no lawyer. Assuming USCIS has documented your assertion of her requested GC Interview Charade, I wouldn't count out the annulment route.

I have no connection whatsoever to Kinsey, FWIW, here's the link:

http://www.kinseylaw.com/clientserv2/famlawservices/annulment/nullity.html

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

She wants to return to Russia soon to finish her degree, then she probably expects the neighbor to file for a K-1 Visa to bring her back. This is probably out of my control.

If she wants to return to Russia soon - help her along in any way possible. Encourage her - pay for her trip - do anything you can to GET HER THERE ASAP.

FORGET the part about the neighbor and the K-1. There is a lot of ground to be covered before that becomes any kind of an issue.

Once she has returned to Russia, you will have mitigated your risk of the DV charges - and most importantly, you will not be constantly reminded of her and her adulterous escapades, or at least, it won't be in your face on a daily basis.

You should then be able to begin to gain some peace - especially if you have begun working with a professional who can help you overcome some of the trauma you have experienced. Expect it to take some time - probably a great deal of time, before you will even begin to feel 'normal' again and think rationally.

- Dan

[c5driver]

We have two attorneys in my extended family but I'm not one of them; however, in California, an annulment might be the easier and faster way to go. Fraud can be grounds according to Kinsey Law Offices in Seal Beach, and lo and behold, the GC is referenced:

"A judgment of nullity based on fraud is also warranted where one party's motive in entering the marriage was solely to obtain a green card (to acquire U.S. residency status) and he or she never intended to engage in sexual relations with the other or to meet marital duties."

I read the "AND" as meaning she would have to satisfy
both conditions, but as stated, I'm no lawyer. Assuming USCIS has documented your assertion of her requested GC Interview Charade, I wouldn't count out the annulment route.

I have no connection whatsoever to Kinsey, FWIW, here's the link:

http://www.kinseylaw.com/clientserv2/famlawservices/annulment/nullity.html

Thanks, but I don't think I could disprove that "she never intended to engage in sexual relations with the other or to meet marital duties". So I don't think I can get it annulled.

[c5driver]

If she wants to return to Russia soon - help her along in any way possible. Encourage her - pay for her trip - do anything you can to GET HER THERE ASAP.

FORGET the part about the neighbor and the K-1. There is a lot of ground to be covered before that becomes any kind of an issue.

Once she has returned to Russia, you will have mitigated your risk of the DV charges - and most importantly, you will not be constantly reminded of her and her adulterous escapades, or at least, it won't be in your face on a daily basis.

You should then be able to begin to gain some peace - especially if you have begun working with a professional who can help you overcome some of the trauma you have experienced. Expect it to take some time - probably a great deal of time, before you will even begin to feel 'normal' again and think rationally.

- Dan

Thanks for the good advice, Dan.

Do you think that being unhappy in a marriage ever justifies adultery/abandonment?

I doubt that my RW is going to try to get me into DV trouble, but I'll be careful. Since we don't live together I think it would be impossible for her to get some kind of criminal conviction without any evidence. Getting a restraining order would be somewhat easier, but I've successfully defended myself against my first wife's restraining order attempts, and I can handle my RW - though I doubt she's going to do that. Though it's possible that she'll make up a horror story about me and send it to the Vermont service center, but as long as it's not criminal or a restaining order I don't see how that would hurt me (not proven in court).

She seems really motivated to get that divorce - maybe she'll leave soon after the papers are filed - she really wants to go back to Russia to finish her degree in Feb.

She is the best woman that I've ever been with (except for the adultery part) - I can't see another one like her coming along in my life ever.

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Thanks for the good advice, Dan.

Do you think that being unhappy in a marriage ever justifies adultery/abandonment?

I doubt that my RW is going to try to get me into DV trouble, but I'll be careful. Since we don't live together I think it would be impossible for her to get some kind of criminal conviction without any evidence. Getting a restraining order would be somewhat easier, but I've successfully defended myself against my first wife's restraining order attempts, and I can handle my RW - though I doubt she's going to do that. Though it's possible that she'll make up a horror story about me and send it to the Vermont service center, but as long as it's not criminal or a restaining order I don't see how that would hurt me (not proven in court).

She seems really motivated to get that divorce - maybe she'll leave soon after the papers are filed - she really wants to go back to Russia to finish her degree in Feb.

She is the best woman that I've ever been with (except for the adultery part)- I can't see another one like her coming along in my life ever.

No, adultery is NOT justified by being "unhappy." And no, in spite of your present delusional state, she absolutely, positively was NOT the "best woman" you have been with.

Look - I cannot continue to write the same things over and over. Plenty of others have provided you the same suggestions I have.

Hard cold facts - the RW you brought to the US does NOT, and did not, care one twit for you or your feelings. You are, apparently, so distraught with grief that you are incapable of seeing the obvious. You continue to rationalize the realities of this situation and somehow manage to justify her behaviors, at least, to yourself.

As I said before, there is little more anyone on this board can do for you. I've provided you much more qualified resources for you to contact.

Reluctantly, I am going to close this topic - in the hopes that you are going to make the hard decision to get some appropriate help.

My sincere best wishes to you.

- Dan