Constant emails... what do I do?

[CalvinHobbes]

Hello guys and gals. It's been awhile since I posted... much has occurred since then like buying a home in the foothill-mountains outside Denver, CO.

I used Elena's Models for two months but had to drop it due to my work schedule.... work was just insane. Somehow the admin on EM posted my same profile on silver-cafe.org and alltverladies.com. Since then I get about 2-5 unsolicited emails a day from women asking about starting communication.

I'm curious if anyone else has had a similar experience?

Yes, I'm meeting women here CO in hopes to find that special someone. I've done the dating sites (match.com, singles.net, etc) but have spent time and money... women here in the US are not easy to make a connection with. Sometimes I'll email or call someone a few times then bamm it's like she never existed. Then I get an email from someone half-way around the world who says she is interested.

I'm 44, decent looking, in good athletic shape, and make middle-americana money and live in a middle-americana home.

My friends tell me to drop the Russian-bride thing because they are all after the visa or whatever.

[camachinist]

Well, you got your house so now would be a great time to get on a plane and go have fun. My first trip to the CIS/FSU resulted from an intense correspondence and, when it went sideways,  I had to change to 'fun' mode last minute just to make all the expense pay for something. Went and had a blast for nearly a month. Back then, few women had their own e-mail but, once a couple local agency owners knew I was in-country, there were all kinds of 'offers', much like the unsolicited e-mails you're getting. Some were questionable, like I imagine some of the e-mails you're getting, and some were sincere. The key was seeing it as a great experience rather than it having to lead somewhere. Also, I focused on 'real' women, meaning age- and appearance-appropriate, IOW not trying to meet and greet out of my league.

I can assure you that, IME, 'real' RW/UW's aren't 'looking for a visa'. They're looking for a healthy relationship and marriage and, just like for yourself, are finding it difficult at home. Get on a plane, go meet some and decide for yourself. Time marches on and you're not getting any younger.

Others will have differing opinions, but, when I look at EM (Elena's Models), I look for women with real-life pictures in real situations and a sincere profile essay. If you're getting e-mails from your profile there, pick a couple who match up or sound interesting and start a dialogue. You never know where it'll go ....

[SomeGuy]

Hi,

It's always a good rule especially in this sort of thing to look for experiences with any web site or agency you're considering using.  In this case, this was easily found:
http://jimslists.com/agencies/be.html

Also, on here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=7561.0
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=8937.0
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=8937.0

Seems to be the same agency as behappy2day and others, and uses a 'pay per letter' scheme.  
I'm just not seeing anything good there - just more reason for "paid" women or translators to send you letters to get some cash out of you, IMO.  A site like Elenas or a similar 'contact as many as you'd like with no interference' type site, or even one of the free personals sites always seemed an obviously better choice, to me.

You'll probably find some scammers of different types, as well as some that MAY want the green card, but also many real women.  Think about it - most of the girls do have family, and it is a big step to consider leaving your country, regardless of which one it may be.



Good luck.  Personally, I would never join a pay per letter site.

[spectris]

Well, if it's your "primary" email address, you are screwed - surely it's not?  Everything you do on the web is transparent - you should have work email, shopping email, social networking email, close friend email, BS email, and other email addresses for anything like agencies, Match.com, whatever.  Never confuse them or you will be soon (already) overwhelmed with junk.  Be systematic so that you can simply delete or quit checking the email address that bothers you.

[SomeGuy]

Oops, I think I misread that entirely, until I saw spectres response - these are direct contacts to your personal email, or system messages, that then send email notifications? 

[camachinist]

Good luck.  Personally, I would never join a pay per letter site.

Yeah, I agree, although some gents have had excellent success with such agencies. When I went, many years ago, I found the ladies through sites like American Singles and Yahoo Personals and my driver introduced me to local agency owners who weren't yet on the internet (newspaper/magazine-type ads) and met a few ladies that way.

After looking at the two sites the OP mentioned, as well as their underlying registration data (whois), I'd probably pass. OP, have you gotten any responses from your EM profile?

[kievstar]

Little advice on match.com.  One email than one phone and than physical meeting all within 3 days.  Break this rule by sending 2 emails or two phone calls before meeting your usually done.  Have to be all about execution.  Also, never go head over heels over an AW.  Need to be hard to get.  Have fun.

[Chris59]

I used Elena's Models for two months but had to drop it due to my work schedule.... work was just insane. Somehow the admin on EM posted my same profile on silver-cafe.org and alltverladies.com. Since then I get about 2-5 unsolicited emails a day from women asking about starting communication.

I'm curious if anyone else has had a similar experience?

Back in 2002 or so, I signed-up for a 3 month trial membership on "Ikarinter.com" to request addresses of several ladies who interested me there. Within 3 weeks or so, I started getting letters via regular postal mail. These were hand-written letters with many photographs enclosed. These letters were mostly written in Russian, but many were in English too. Most ladies were just average ladies, but a few were quite beautiful.

At one point, I was receiving 2-3 letters in my postal mailbox everyday! I felt quite guilty that I could not answer most of them, but I did send some "thank you" post cards to most of them. I even struck-up e-mail correspondence with a few of them.

It turns out that my profile was posted somewhere (without my knowledge or consent), either in an Introductions magazine in Russia, or at some agencies' men's website. Within a couple months, I had a huge shoebox stuffed full of these letters I had received.

I sent an e-mail to Ikar Agency asking if they had advertised me without my knowledge, but they denied doing it. No great harm I guess, but I wasn't really comfortable that my home address was used in an advertisement. Nothing really came from those letters, BUT I am still in a wonderful friendship with one of the ladies I found from their website. I'm currently looking into getting her a B-2 tourist visa to the U.S. for a visit in the fall.

These days, I NEVER even look at those websites anymore. I recommend sites such as "Dating.ru", and "Loveplanet.ru". Post a free profile there, and you'll get more women contacting you than you know what to do with.

[IAmZon]

"Get more women than you know what to do with" ....  YEAH BUT.  and it is a BIG BUT.

I used to think SCAMMERS were mostly the result of a man not seeing reality.  And, I think that's still true in the cases of financial and emotional injury.   But, over the last few weeks, I have ran into nuisance scammers that make the whole letter writing thing more of a pain in the A$$ than it already is. 

I'm not the kind of guy that believes every word!  I KNOW my effect on women very well.  When something seems odd and unusual, it is.

If a woman contacts me and she is young and damn hot and single  ... I mostly tell her to go away.  If she sticks around, I give some emails and photos that are intended NOT to kiss her feet.  I thought that would shake out most of the wastes of time.   Not, really.  Many of these girls are like door to door salesmen.  Obviously, beautiful women are have choices - I don't care what part of the world we are talking about.   A couple of letters, and you are hearing words and expressions that seem out of place.  There are always false.

And then there is the issue of "glamor shots".   I already date rather youthful and rather beautiful women; so I am not going to do a "trade down" for the privilege of coping with a 5000 mile romance.    I have met several quality ladies from EM.  The beginning photos are OK, but then after a friendship evolves, and normal photos are exchanged ... they became "plain Janes."   

Sorry to come off as a superficial ass ... but I am a superficial ass - or just honest enough to tell the truth. 

Beauty and physical attraction is definitely part of the game.  I think that the lion's share of VERY attractive women under the age of 27 and without children are not exactly escorts, but not exactly not escorts either.  Let's call em open to "sponsorship."

My point is just that it is an awful lot of work to deal with all the smoke.   

[rambler]

Hi Calvin
I joined Elena's in early 2009 and it was a success for me. I am married to the 2nd girl I wrote to on EM.  I would not listen to anyone else's negativism about Russian women, age difference or anything else.  I don't think the divorce rate with Western/FSU couples is significantly higher than  with intra western couples, but I don't want to tempt providence.

I think silver-cafe.org somehow lifts profiles from EM - my profile got posted there and the advances from women were tempting but obviously just from a letter factory so I marked anything from there as spam.

My advice to anyone starting out is to pick the youngest, most beautiful and intelligent young woman they think they can handle and just go there and sweep her off her feet.  Make an invincible first impression as a sincere, seriously marriage-minded gentleman. It's not hard to be more sincere and gentlemanly than the local males. Even the most beautiful women have been taken for granted and cast off for someone a little younger or little more beautiful.

There are traps for the unwary; but if your intentions are sincere you will soon get past all that and learn quickly.   But the women have a hardened attitude in some cases along the lines of - "Of course the men tried to use us so we tried to use them" -  This attitude might even extend to marriage - but there is an implicit exchange of motives in a marriage anyway so ... that is how mother nature made us. 

Just to put your couple of letters a day into perspective,  my wife got 160 in one day .... I have no idea how I won through against those odds.  It can be done ... but only if you are totally 100% determined not to fail.  Budget on about 6-12 months average US salary as a spend if you need multiple trips to find and win the right young woman, marry, honeymoon and get her to your  country. 

Rambler
(Done Ramblin' >)

[Al_C]

It is not unusual for RW websites to mine top RW sites like EM for profiles to put on theirs.  It happens to me all of the time.

[JR]

I KNOW my effect on women very well....they melt in my hands like ice cream on a warm Colombian summer day, 

NOTE: bold text added for comedic effect. You can start laughing now)))