Aust guy communicating with a pro-dater?

[Aussielion]

Aussielion.
You are welcome
When the person have strong feelings he is vulnerable, also I hope that nobody's councils will not damage to your relations with the girl.

As all details are known only  you I can just suppose…
Maybe she wants your arrival but her parents do not know that she searches for the foreign husband or they disapprove it.
Unfortunately, neighbours and colleagues opinion is not so friendly while she in search and have no ring on a hand. Probably you have pressure too and can understand it , to support and convince her to make an attempt.

Can she talk with you without the translator if you arrive?

I've suggested hiring a translator part-time for communications. She approves of the idea. She can be with me without a translator.

[groovlstk]

Years ago, when I went thru some bumpy times with relationships and women a wise friend told me this. "A genuine and interested women will not confuse a man". Yes, you will have the actresses to mess with you but the key word is genuine. The actresses have something "fake" which sets off your senses. Their interest is not real. The biggest mistake men make is falling for the fake interest. Once you have a good grasp of who you are looking at in the mirror you can navigate around these type of women.

I'd agree w/this. Could never understand why guys would chase indifferent women.

[Gylden]

Aussielion

You are asking the wrong questions about the wrong person. You are doing what many men do when they lack the tools needed to start a healthy relationship.

You should be looking in the mirror and asking why you feel doubtful. Why you are worrying? Why are you questioning every event? Why are you questioning her every move? You will eventually convince yourself whatever you want to believe. You are causing your own fear. You wont attract a genuine women being like this. You will poison the relationship with your fears. Of course no one wants to be scammed but if you have the right attitude it will filter the bad ones out.

Years ago, when I went thru some bumpy times with relationships and women a wise friend told me this. "A genuine and interested women will not confuse a man". Yes, you will have the actresses to mess with you but the key word is genuine. The actresses have something "fake" which sets off your senses. Their interest is not real. The biggest mistake men make is falling for the fake interest. Once you have a good grasp of who you are looking at in the mirror you can navigate around these type of women.

One of the wiser bits of advice I have heard here!
 

[Faux Pas]

One of the wiser bits of advice I have heard here!
 

I was impressed with it myself. Seems a bit out of character for SMS but good stuff nonetheless. Quite contrary from his usual cynicism.

[Aussielion]

Hi everybody, Im just here to give everyone an update on my situation.

I've come to the conclusion that I do think that my ladyfriend is not genuine in some way. In my last later, I asked her this:

Just a quick email here. I've been looking over some accomodation around your area. Is the "LAKHTI" public transport stop nearby your area? If it is, I'll make arrangements to stay in an apartment over there for my stay with you.

This was her reply:

Dear roger, Lakhti is a far away district. Why do you search for apartments by yourself? I will gladly help you to find a
good apartment for the appropriate price. Maybe, you don't trust me and that's why you want to do everything by yourself? I
would like to make all arrangements for you because I want to make your stay pleasant and I want you to appreciate my taste.
I hope that you will trust me and you will allow me to arrange everything for your arrival.
I called to the real estate agency and knew that a very good apartment in the centre of the city will cost nearly 70-80
USD. I hope that this price will be ok for you.
The agency has an internet site it is called Zaporozhye-tour-service, so you may look for the apartments there.
I would like to wish you the pleasant weekend and I hope that you will have a lot of fun during the weekend! 
I will be thinking about you and I hope that you will do the best choice!
 
Am I being too skeptical here or are my fears of pro-dating regarding my accomodation valid? It is funny that she is prepared to arrange things for my stay, yet is unwilling to have an internet chat with me I also found out that she has 4 different ads on dating sites after a search. My get feeling is more iffy than ever about this one.

Geez, there can be some dead ends with this caper

[Aussielion]

Put it this way. I'll do two things. I'll still see her but I'll let her know that I'll be meeting other women because she is unwilling to commit fully towards communicating with me. I'll

*Arrange my own accomodation.
*Have plan B, C and D up my sleeve.

Is this the way to go?

[Daveman]

Don't expect any woman to become "email monogamous" prior to meeting.  It can happen, but until you meet and develop something in person, you are only pen pals.

I'm much more concerned that she won't have an internet chat (with someone coming to meet her) than I am about her arranging an apartment. That's just flat bizarre.  $70-80 in a city center isn't bad... depending on how good it actually is.

Her wanting to handle your arrangements is not a bad sign.  Her suggesting the tour service agency is a little odd to me, but not really over the top.   You are getting a vibe from this woman, that strange feeling in your gut. Do you have a habit of being a little paranoid? 

If you are going to meet more than one woman, then yes, you need to make your own arrangements and a back up plan of some sort is always a good idea. 

That refusal to have a chat with you though... that's just plain weird and not a good sign IMO.

[Shadow]

I checked their site and they offer apartments from 45 to 70 Eur, meaning from 55-90 USD, depending on the rate. You might check it out and reserve directly.

[Aussielion]

Daveman is right. Im more concerned about a total lack of conversation

[Aussielion]

Hi everybody...latest update.

I've reported this person to "Elenas Models" as a probable scammer. I done some detective work and noticed that a known scammer has used the same words for their profile. I read up and this person was indeed a pro-dater type scammer.

Thanks for your advice. Im a bit unhappy about it but relieved at the same time.

[ML]

May be strange, but I saw nothing to indicate she was a pro-dater scammer.  That is until her words about the rental cost.  However, apparently the rental cost is valid from the rental agency itself.

My first advice would be that the apt cost is much too high for the city of Zap.  If it were Kyiv, that price could be expected, but not in Zap.  If you are going to go, check around to try to find other sources with more reasonable costs.

But main problem here is that you are taking too much risk if you go the WOVO route.  Even a backup plan of using EM if things bomb out with her, is not enough.  Use the many other free and monthly pay sites that have been mentioned here and have 10 or more ladies willing to visit with you in Zap.  Also be sure to bring some face masks with you to Zap.  The air is very dirty there!!

[Aussielion]

Is that russian facebook-type site any good?

[Shadow]

Hi everybody...latest update.

I've reported this person to "Elenas Models" as a probable scammer. I done some detective work and noticed that a known scammer has used the same words for their profile. I read up and this person was indeed a pro-dater type scammer.

Thanks for your advice. Im a bit unhappy about it but relieved at the same time.

Seems very thin evidence to me, as when I was looking about half the women wrote the same texts in their profile. However you have something to learn from this and that is when paranoia sets in, it will almost in any case destroy any potential for the future.

Regarding "that facebook site" if you mean vKontakte, it is ok if you are able to write and read Russian without an online translator. Otherwise you will just attract sharks.

[molly35ru]

I don't think it's a good idea to use vrontakte.ru for searching for a mate. There are some dating groups but they are not worth your attention.
We (I mean adults not teens) use the site to stay in contact with our "real" friends and I guess I'm not the only one who delete all friends requests from strangers .
I should also say that almost every foreigner trying to make a contact with a serious woman on this or any russian dating site will be under suspicion of sex tourism especially if he speaks some russian ...

[Shadow]

I should also say that almost every foreigner trying to make a contact with a serious woman on this or any russian dating site will be under suspicion of sex tourism especially if he speaks some russian ...

You are correct. As mentioned elsewhere we are all marriages between Sex tourists and Scammers.

[Patagonie]

About prices of flats i see nothing wrong. A little expansive perhaps, i think you can find 10$ less easily.
The fact that she proposes you and gives you the link don't show that she's a scammer.
Perhaps she knows the owner, but not a big deal.

For the moment this story is a little strange for me.

[molly35ru]

You are correct. As mentioned elsewhere we are all marriages between Sex tourists and Scammers.

Perhaps both parts read too many "horror" stories on a site like this . It's sad but true. Read some TRs on any russian women's forum  ...lots of advises...

[Aussielion]

Surely she can'tbe genuine if she doesn't want to chat in any way.

[Shadow]

Surely she can'tbe genuine if she doesn't want to chat in any way.

If she would not want to meet you she would not be genuine.

As for not willing to chat, it is odd but by itself not a reason to write her off.
However if it is for you enough reason to doubt her, do not continue, you are going to invest a good amount of time and money meaning there is no reason to do it unless you have no doubts about the possibility of a relationship. If you go with the idea that there may be something wrong, it will reflect too much on everything that happens for anything positive to develop.

[Faux Pas]

Surely she can'tbe genuine if she doesn't want to chat in any way.

Actually, IMO that was the only real flag here. From my days at EMs I found most all women were ready to communicate post haste. Whether that is a reason to call her a scammer, I would say no. But I wouldn't be wasting any more time on her.

[Aussielion]

Just posting an update.

This lady is way too concerned about finding an apartment for me. She has brought it up in about five emails after I've told her that I'd be be looking after my accomodation from the first time she asked.. I've dropped holiday plans and contact with this lady.

[Shadow]

If there is no trust, always best to move on as it will inhibit any forming relationship.
As for the apartment, you could just have booked it directly, allowing her to take her cut anyway.