Hello

[wicheese]

Just thought I would log in a say hello, as I have been lurking off and on for the past month and thought I would make a post to introduce myself.  I am not new to the process (lots of trips and a few relationships) and I have participated in another board for about a year now (for those who take part in both boards it'll be easy to figure out who I am), but the main topic over there, at the moment, seems to just provide free advertising to HRB/RLM which I would not recommend to anyone, plus things seem a little more lively over here.  

A quick update on my situation is one where I have been in communication with the same RW for over a year now (found her profile on singles.ru) as we just started communicating as friends.  Last fall she decided to visit America (I laugh as her travel schedule reminded me of many a mans VM intinary), so I flew down to meet her in FL for the weekend.  Afterwards, I guess I made enough of an impression with her that she returned for two weeks in December where she visited me in my hometown (again her path is very similar to a man's as she stopped by for a quick visit, liked what she found and then went back for a longer visit to see if those feelings are true).  In the New Year she found out that the western company she was working for would be pulling out of Russia which created an opportunity for her to make an extended visit (like 2.5 months) and this time I did offer to pay as I knew she'd be on a tight budget (BTW, she did not ask).  Well, after that visit she was unsure about America (she had already gone into culture shock), so I knew I needed to make a visit to see her in Moscow to clear up any ambiguity.  The result of that visit was confirmation by her and myself that we really do care about each other which means I'll be continuing on this journey and will be making a followup trip for 3 weeks in September and we'll again meet for 2+ weeks towards the end of the year as she'll have enough vacation by then to go someplace fun (she had started working for another large western company after her return this past spring).  

Anyways, my main reason to participate on these boards is to learn something new and maybe provide advice to help others to make there path taken easier (even if sometimes I'm misunderstood  ).  

[Faux Pas]

wicheese, Welcome to RWD!

[Shadow]

Welcome. It will be fun having you areound as your case is certainly out of the ordinary.

[wicheese]

Shadow,

In some ways I have not had an ordinary experience meeting FSUW as three of the women I invested time in where able to fly here and see me (two after I went to see them first), but in many ways it's the same as I have made plenty of mistakes and at the end of the day my experience is probably typical to most others who have traveled the path before me. 

[Jack]

This is a wonderful story wicheese, thanks for sharing.

[I/O]

my experience is probably typical

Nothing "typical" in any of this. Nevertheless, most experiences are not as "different" as some would like to think.

BTW, good for you (both) having your lady stateside regardless of her VM or other intentions (and I see nothing wrong with that if you don't have a problem with it), I've always been a big fan of having her visit at least once prior to any commitments. FWIW, Mrs I/O's and my first extended period of time together was on my patch.

[acctBill]

Welcome to RWD.

[SMS60]

Wisconsin? by chance?

Dam dude, you had control of the frame (her traveling to see you) until you whipped out the billfold and started offering up money for trips. .

[wicheese]

Wisconsin? by chance?

Born, raised, and escaped the big city of Sheboygan!

Dam dude, you had control of the frame (her traveling to see you) until you whipped out the billfold and started offering up money for trips.

As they say, it was money well spent.   

One thing I have learned from looking in the FSU is that we usually never have enough face time to get to know the true person (unless you are living there) before having to make a potentially very serious decision.  So, I just feel lucky that I was able to spend a total of 3 months with her here while still in the dating mode (much less pressure than if she is here on a K-1).  The time together only confirmed that she's a good person and pretty much all my my friends and family that interacted with her were just as impressed (then again, I'll admit to being a little biased in this case). 

[BillyB]

 Well, after that visit she was unsure about America (she had already gone into culture shock), so I knew I needed to make a visit to see her in Moscow to clear up any ambiguity.  The result of that visit was confirmation by her and myself that we really do care about each other which means I'll be continuing on this journey and will be making a followup trip for 3 weeks in September and we'll again meet for 2+ weeks towards the end of the year as she'll have enough vacation by then to go someplace fun (she had started working for another large western company after her return this past spring).  

Welcome wicheese,

Hopefully you can seal the deal with your lady. Don't try to sell America on her, she may get insulted, just sell yourself. She needs to make her decision on the man(you) alone and where you go, she needs to go once you're a couple.

I don't know where you live but is some parts of the US, there are FSU food markets and churches. She may not feel a total loss of culture if you know where to take her when she comes to the US again. Do what you can to make her comfortable and she will have less shock.

Many RW I know that have come to the US first feel shock or lost but most feel it's there home after they stay awhile and most don't want to go back.

[BC]

Welcome Wicheese!

Sounds like what you're doing is working just fine and you two have created an atmosphere you both feel comfortable in.

Also sounds like she has a good set of skills that are in demand. That might be one of, if not her major concern.

After all, no need to ruin a good thing with marriage.. LOL

[wicheese]

She needs to make her decision on the man(you) alone and where you go, she needs to go once you're a couple.

I'm in full agreement with this and I'll even go so far that the relationship was at a standstill until I told her to stop packaging both questions (feelings about me & moving) together because if the answer to the first is negative, then there really is not second question.  Once she did this she realized her feelings about me and the second question took care of itself (with a big assist from the daily grind of life in Moscow on her return). 

I don't know where you live but is some parts of the US

I'm in the St. Louis metro area, not a garden spot, but much worse locations can be found.

[wicheese]

Also sounds like she has a good set of skills that are in demand. That might be one of, if not her major concern.

She currently works as a PM for a large International company and probably would be considered doing pretty well for America, much less Russia.  Funny, at first when we started getting serious she was worried about her career in my corner of America, but now she's switched completely as she's of the opinion that a job is just that a job (the switch happened about the same time I started hearing that four letter word). 

[TheTraveler]

Welcome, wicheese!

[Gator]

Welcome Wicheese!

The best of luck with your realtionship.  Sounds like the two of you are enjoying your time together.

A RW has been visiting me for 3 weeks (she sleeps in more than me, hence my appearance at the computer). 

There is a world of difference between meeting a RW here rather than in Russia.  If the eventual goal is indeed marriage, it is very important for them to see how the man lives, his family, his friends, etc. 

[billy10388]

Hi !
I've just visited this forum. Happy to get acquainted with you. Thanks.