Last Trip in my search Phase!

[wicheese]

I have thought that I have written this chapter before, but for some reason the story continues.  Now, I feel confident that I have found the one special person for myself so as the story continues it'll be moved to the Adventure Continues section as I'm sure I have completed the easy part of my journey   with the exciting and difficult part is before me. 

Now since I have found that special lady who has captured my thoughts, reminds me of the positive feelings that a loving relationship brings, and makes me think of our future together, you might think that I have a successful conclusion to my search, but I sometimes look at things differently.  The reason why I write this is because I should never have even looked in the FSU as those who have read my posts on another site would have noticed that I do not find any specific problems with the women in my own country.  Also, I did not have any trouble dating women in my own country as my date totals in the first few years after my divorce exceeded 100 unique women each year and I'll admit that many of the dates did not end with a cup of coffee and a hand sake.   The stories from that period probably would be met with disbelief by many and the only reason why I even allude to this, is because one does not need to travel outside there country to find interesting and attractive women (granted, it does mean you need to date within your league of if you are an unattractive, fat, older man do not expect slim and young women to be interested in you). 

So why did I end up looking at profiles of women in the FSU, it was nothing more than greed as I thought, if these old and out-of-shape men can end up with such attractive ladies, then what can I come home with (yes, I do realize this sounds a little arrogant, but no more so that overweight men complaining about women who are overweight).  So it was not the best reason to start a search and I would guess that I'm not alone in having this reason why I started my search.  Maybe this is why I have not always had Karma on my side and why I had to make nine trips to Russia, two trips to Ukraine, and two more trips to Europe (not to mention the one nonrefundable ticket to the Ukraine which I threw away and four visits of RW who came to see me in America).  Yes, I might not have had the right motive in starting my search, but once it started, it can't be denied that I gave it my full effort (maybe the only thing I could have done more was move to the FSU for a period of time).

Now looking back, I think the most important lesson learned is to know why you are looking overseas and if the reason is to just find a hotter lady than what you have been dating at home, then stay home.  If you have just a little success with the local ladies and you are somewhat persistent, you'll find the right one for you close to home (maybe you have to venture out of your neighborhood, but you'll find her) and it'll be a whole lot cheaper (I would love to see the math of those who thinking dating locally is not cheaper) and easier than traveling to the FSU (the few exceptions would be men living in remote areas who really do not have any choices).  Plus, if you are looking for that hot lady, then chances are very good that you'll fall for the propaganda of the large MOB companies and waste more than a few dollars chasing FAT Yuri in the form of a perfect 10 female who loves to cook and make love to much older men (in case you are wondering, I have spent more enough money of those pay per letter sites to buy one r/t ticket to the FSU, so I learned my lesson the expensive way and the funny thing is that I have never even met someone from one of those sites). 

OK, enough about the reason why I started this adventure because once I started I was addicted (how many of those out there would say the same, even if they know they would not advise the process to others) as the love of travel and women would be enough to sustain me through the highs and lows which I documented elsewhere.

[wicheese]

So in some ways this trip report is really the start of the next phase of my FSU adventure and end of my first and it was a long first phase as I invested over three years in the process, had a lot of great adventures, and quit more times than I can remember (after all, most normal people think it's a pretty crazy endeavor).  Anyways, for those of you who do not know my entire story, I'll start with something of a summary just because the most entertaining part of this story came a long time before this last trip.

For a quick start we need to go all the way back to the fall of 2006 as I had ZERO intention of looking for a wife in the FSU.  But, I bet I'm not alone in saying that my start was initiated by a scam attempt as I had a profile on match.com and kept on receiving letters from smokinhotkova's who had written almost nothing in there profile and were always from obscure little towns nobody heard of.  I deleted these as there was no reason to bother as I had enough attention locally to keep me busy for years, but one day I received a letter from a lady who claimed to be from a small town near where I did my undergraduate studies, so I took the bait.  Short answer, after a second letter where she claimed to already love me, I knew it was a scam, but it got me looking if normal men really did go to the FSU looking for a wife and that search took me to Elenas Models and after look at the pictures of the so called happy couples, in typical greedy mindset, I thought if they can do this, then just think what I can do.

It was not long before I was making all the stupid mistakes men usually make early in the process.  I talked to a number of ladies on sites like Anastasia Int and Global Ladies and spent credits like quarters into a slot machine, I chased ladies out of my league or too young to be sensible, and I thought it would be so easy (yep, I learned my lessons the hard way).  Anyways, I was finally was able to get things sorted out, read a lot of information online (unfortunately, I did not spend enough time on forums like this one) and decided that a WMVO approach would work the best for me as I was serious (it's just that I did not do a great job on my pre-selection always). 

My first lady I was going to visit was a lady from Kyiv.  She was tall and attactive, trained as an MD, but worked in big pharma.  She was interesting and somewhat hesitant and more than a little superstitious, but I had a good feeling that she was a good person.  Unfortunately, as we spend time communicating we always learn something new and in my case it was that she would not fly, like never (I'm an admitted travel addict and I knew this was a deal killer), so after learning that she would not consider getting on a plane I canceled the trip as “sunk costs don't count”.  She recently ended up marrying a French man who was 22 years older than herself (she took the bus).

Second lady was a Lawyer from Siberia and I met her first in Paris (she paid for her part) and we had a good visit, but something was missing (you know what they say about listening to your instinct, in this case I did not).  Despite probably writing the trip off as a learning experience, I decided to go visit her in her home city.  It was a two-for-one trip as I was meeting a special lady and running a marathon, but within a few days she gave me the boot, but it was still a good trip as I met some locals and rearranged my time so I would return to Moscow and see the sites (after this trip it was the first time that I said I was done). 

Third lady was another Lawyer, this time from Moscow.  Instead of flying to see her there I convinced her to meet me in Kyiv as that would give me the chance to add a second lady to my schedule, but the the second lady taught me the lesson I should have known (never send money before you meet someone) as I had sent money for her to fly to see me in Kyiv and as soon as she received the money, her grandmother became sick (OK, I know so no need to mention it).  Luckily, I was working with a good tour company called Discover Ukraine and they sent someone to retrieve my money and I reschedule my time to go see the Crimea.  Second part of the trip I did see the Lawyer and lets just say that we got off to an unexpected start on the train ride from Kyiv to Ivano-Frankivsk as we were to do some skiing in the Carpathians.  Things went great and that lead to another visit to see her in Moscow for the New Year.  On that visit, I realized that I was not dealing with a normal Russian as her address was one that would cost a person millions (found out more about her father and his investments), but I met her son who was the most ill behaved child I ever met (he was mostly raised by a nanny) and I was stunned one day as I say him (he was seven) hit his grandmother because she did not give him a cookie fast enough (red flag was raised).  Anyways, we still had a good time, did some snow skiing at Volen which is just north of Moscow and planned our next trip.  This trip would take me to Prague (again she was paying her part) and it was a great trip as I was really starting to get serious about her as she was very attractive, very intelligent, and shared many of the same interests as myself.  The only problems were her son, the fact that she held onto things and release them when least expecting, and came from a wealthy family where she lived the life of the rich and famous in Moscow.  All those things came together and my instinct was screaming for me to bail-out and I finally did before she came to visit me here in America.  Instead she stayed with her grandmother and sister and camped out in one of her fathers places in NYC.  Again, I swore that I was done with the FSU.

The thing is, I love to travel and I really liked my visit to the Ukraine so I decided that another visit would happen as I would start in Kyiv and make the swing through western Ukraine.  It was to be a tourist trip with no meetings, but about two weeks before I said why not meet someone, so I got back on Elenas models and had several dates setup that fit my itinerary (one date I did not make was a lady who disrobed while I was talking to her in Skype as she was trying to convince me to visit and take her to a concert).  The first date was in Kyiv with another MD working for big Pharma (notice a trend here) and we really hit it off as she showed me around the city during which time we got to know each other well.  Then I told her I was off (she was not happy but understood as I had told her ahead of time I would be meeting others) and I went and saw a number of nice castles while I made my way to Lvov.  There I was picked up by another MD who worked for big Pharma (I was thinking this was the normal career for UW) and she showed me the city and I could tell that she really liked me, but I was not feeling it with her (maybe the time she took me to a private resort where we were laying out amongst several topless smokinhotkovas that distracted me, but I realized I liked the lady in Kyiv), so it was then onto Odessa and finished with a big swing up to Kharkov where I had a meeting with what I guess was a professional dater, but it was a short date.  The trip finished in Kyiv where I again had a date with the lady I knew I liked, but she was mad and said that I had ruined my chances by going to see the other women (it confirmed to me that the VO approach was better for me).  Anyways, I swore off the FSU adventure again and this time I was really done, at least for a few months.

OK, all it took was a few dates with large AW that had me back on Elenas Models where I found the Russian version of Angelina Jolie (at least by appearance).  She was formerly married to a wealthy Russian man (he had built the building she lived in and we can say that it was very upscale), but I was never sure of her intent as she mentioned that she really only had one true interest which was sex.  OK, I can go along with that as I schedule a trip to Moscow from which she was to take me to St. Petersburg which I wanted to see, but when we met I knew it was all over as she was as good looking as advertised and had charisma that sucked me in...  After the trip, I quickly scheduled a return over the New Year, where out of nowhere she writes me two weeks before I arrived saying that she could never leave Russia and I should not come, but I had my tickets, what is a person to do (BTW, I had recently written to the other women I had communicated with to say I was off the market).  In my case I did the one thing I regretted during my FSU experience as I wrote the one lady that would have been my second choice and say that I will be coming to visit after all and why don't we go skiing in Sochi while I'm there (nothing wrong with that I had a true interest in her and could see a potential future).  The mistake was on the way to see her in Rostov-an-Don, I stayed with the lady I was originally going to visit, thinking I would just sleep on her sofa (I know what you are thinking).  Anyways, that lady despite my saying I was only going to stay a night wanted me to stay longer and it rekindled my feelings for her despite my knowing better.  Then it was off to see the new lady in Rostov, which I would have canceled (it would have been the correct choice), but she had purchased airline tickets for me to see her and I felt obligated.  So off I go and this lady is everything as advertised, we have a great time together and I start to think that she's really the one for me as we connected, but as happens when you spend time together you see little things that make you think it's not going to work and I saw a number of them (did not help I was thinking of the lady back in Moscow which clouded my thoughts).  Anyways, I went with a gut reaction (maybe thinking with the wrong head) and returned back to Moscow leaving the lady and her really sweet daughter terribly disappointed (to this I felt bad, but I swore that I would not make my decisions because I felt bad for others).  Maybe my punishment for this was getting shaken down by the Police on leaving Rostov and again I was done with Russia.

Well, on my flight home I just happen to be sitting next to a smokinhotkova, we talked the whole flight but I did not take any numbers as I thought she was too young.  Anyways, when I returned home, despite being down with Russia, I still had a membership on Elenas Models so I took a browse and whose profile did I see, it was none other than the smokinhotkova and she was living only 3.5 hours away from me, so I sent her an email and we ended up seeing each other as I went to see her on a number of occasions.  Unfortunately, she was a complete introvert and I realized I needed someone who was more of an extrovert so I decided to move on.

I was back on Elenas models and soon I had three ladies I could not decide between, so I tried to figure out how I cold meet all three as each one was serious, but I realized that I would need to pick just one and see how it goes (yes, I picked the most attractive one).  I went to see her in her Siberian city and she was just stunning, I thought this is the one.  We had a great week together and then we got married (NO, I could not do that so fast, just thought I would throw it in there).  Anyways, she was successful and was not an MD or Lawyer, but she a true Diva and at first I got a kick out of it, but then I realized it kind've drove me crazy.  Despite this, I canceled my trip to see the number two lady on my list and get back to see her.  On this second visit, she was over two hours late to pick me up at the airport and I was not happy as she did not have an excuse besides I just forgot.  Anyways, we still had a good week together and I realized during this time that she drove me crazy and not in a good way, so I broke-up with her.  Anyways, my mother had talked with her once in Skype when I was visiting them and I had called my Russian friend and it was after I broke-up that my mom calls and says, “is Olga at the University Games as I just saw her on TV”, to which I could only smile as it was her and she was a true Diva. 

You would think that a smart person would quit by now or at least settle, but I'm neither smart or one to settle, so you know what happened next.  I called the lady who was number two on my list and asked if we could start again, to which she was more than happy, but I would need to come see her.  So it was another trip to Moscow and I again visited another Russian Lawyer from a wealthy family (funny conversation as she asked me that if she brought $1,000,000 USD with her, would we be able to buy a nice home with it).  Anyways, I loved my conversations with her, but she had a big age gap with me and that worried me and what also worried me was that she had no worries about moving as she was ready to go NOW.  This struck me as odd as she lived in a nice three bedroom apartment, drove a nice car, and had a good job with Lukoil but I liked her enough and we arranged for her to visit me in America.  During this visit, everyone was impressed as she looked good and was very charismatic as she spoke perfect English an was very well read, but what I noticed was that she acted like a spoiled little girl (I was thinking with the right head by now).  After her return, I had a few doubts, but I was truly attracted to her so I thought we would arrange another meeting and it was during this time her car started to have problems and she sold it despite needing thousands of dollars in repairs and was proud that she got top dollar by not disclosing the problems (deal killer and it was the end).

OK, during this time I had taken a look at singles.ru and wrote a number of ladies with one who attracted me to her profile as she had traveled the world going on scuba safaris and even had done a fair amount of ice diving.  She was good looking, interesting, and in many ways normal (neither a doctor or lawyer).  Also, our communication slowly increased to longer letters, skype calls, and eventually talking about meeting.  But, the problem was, I was truly burned-out on the whole process and I was ready for a long break and there was no way I was going to get on a plane.  On her part, her next vacation was to be to Portugal, but she changed it to the USA where she would dive the Florida Keys (she found them a little boring), then go see NYC, and Boston.  During this trip, I went to see her in Orlando as she added Disney to her list of things to see.  This trip started strange for me, as I was meeting a RW in America, but she was the one picking me up at the airport.  We had a good weekend together and she even drove me 1.5 hours away so I could see my 93 y.o. Grandmother and sisters family.  I was left impressed, but still feeling the effects of burnout.  So she decided to come back to America (BTW, she was paying) to spend a little more than two weeks with me.  During this time we had a good time, but also normal bumps couples have as they get to know each other as we got along well, but it was not instant chemistry and the “Love” word was never spoken.  She left and said for our next visit I would need to go see her, but something happened as the international company she worked for pulled out of Russia so I convinced her to say with me for several months and this time I offered to pay.  She came for 2.5 months and during this time she had culture shock and really did not like America so I thought this relationship was over, but it needed an ending and for that to happen I had to go to Russia.  That trip was taken and it was during this time that we both realized that we truly loved each other and that pretty much gets a person caught up to where this trip report starts.

[wicheese]

This last trip was for 2.5 weeks early in September and started with an uneventful flight on Delta from Atlanta to Moscow.  The man I was sitting next to worked for Google and was originally from Russia so it was interesting to listen to his thoughts about Russia (he had no intention of moving back).  While talking to him I made the comment that if the lady I was visiting would be on time to meet me, then I just might need to marry her.  Well the flight landed and I breezed through passport control and the wait for my luggage was typical (the are slow at SVO), but after passing through customs my ride was not there (OK, no need to get married for now).   It was just a few minute wait though and Natasha arrived with her typical big smile and I must admit it was nice to see her after being away for three months. 

I arrived on a Friday and the balance of the day was spent getting my passport registered and just recovering from the flight as I'm one of the many people who has a hard time sleeping on a plane.  Plus, Saturday morning we were to leave early as I wanted to see the remaining parts of the Golden Ring that I had not visited yet, so it was to bed early for me. 

On Saturday we headed out to the big city of Valdimir which was about 200 km outside of Moscow.  On the ride there along the M7 we passed some of the areas that burned over the summer and it did not look too bad as it was mostly the underbrush that burned with the tops of the trees surviving.  In Valdimir, we stayed at a micro hotel and I'll say that it's worth a visit if you have a lot of extra time as all the historic sites are tightly packed in an easily walked area so it's easy to visit in one afternoon.  One funny note was the fact that as we walked past the Assumption Cathedral (it's the church the Cathedral in Moscow is modeled after), I noticed a small green three wheeled vehicle driving by as it was a solar car they were driving around Russia.  In the city, it seem like only a few good restaurants existed to keep a person entertained (enough for a night), but when we took a walk after dinner, I realized that the city was probably struggling as only small stretches near the commercial establishments had any street lights turned on as the streets were dark (made me wonder what the crime rate was as it was really dark).  Also, Natasha made a comment that she was happy to not live in a provincial city as they still adhere to the silly fashions of wearing high heels and short skirts and said it was easy to spot the ladies who are newly arrived in Moscow because of this. 

The next morning we got up and made the short drive to Bogolyubovo to see the church of the Intercession (OK, anyone else make the walk to see it up close) and take a few snaps of the convent in the city.  After that we headed up the road to Suzdal which is a little city loaded with a lot of historic buildings.  On the way we stopped along the way to buy some apples as Natasha wanted to show me what real tasty Russian apples looked like (trust me, they did not look too good).  After a nice visit to the city (I never tire of visiting new and interesting locations) we headed back to Moscow where I noticed more than a few working girls waiting along the road for a little extra business (to me it was another sign that things outside the big city of Moscow were not as good as advertised). 

During the following week, Natasha was working so I took advantage of that and caught up on a little sleep waking up around noon every day, then using the afternoon to see different sites around the city as I had already been to most of them in my previous eight trips, so I started returning to some of my favorites.  I did a lot of people watching and had a few attractive ladies approach me for a conversation, usually does not happen in the USA, with my thoughts being that the average lady in Moscow is not so much difference on an attractiveness scale than those in the USA, minus the fact that then are thinner and dress better.  In the evenings I usually met Natasha somewhere as we would go for a walk or eat at a different restaurant with several meetings with her friends with one date spent with one of her better friends and her boyfriend, he was a nice young European banker working in Moscow who I would normally have liked, but he was married and I mentioned to Natasha, based on appearances I doubted her friend would ever be anything more than the mistress as I could tell he was the type that was taking full advantage of the benefits (as in available female company) that Moscow provides to those expats living there (side note on that situation was that two weeks later she had figured it out and I hope it's true as she's a nice and attractive lady so could do much better).  Natasha and I also met with RUA member Shakespeare at a good restaurant that is attached to a night club with an interesting reputation as Natasha found it interesting meeting another man who is already married to a RW and checking out the type of women in the nightclub as she had not heard of it or it's reputation previously. 

Now for the weekend, we were to meet Natasha's parents Saturday.  I had met them before and they were nice people, both were school teachers in a city within the Moscow region, definitely not part of the New Russian crowd that would characterize the parents of a few previous Moscow ladies I had dated.  Well, this was an important meeting for me as I was taking what RUA member Mendy had written about the importance of asking the parents permission if you had intention of ever moving beyond just dating (Natasha said it was a silly old custom, but I insisted).  So we met the parents at the Ostintenko Place for a tour and then went by a restaurant for a meal where I asked and approval was given.  It should be noted that they mentioned to Natasha several times after that meeting how much they appreciated the effort made by me.

On Sunday it was marathon day, as in I was going to run the marathon in Moscow.  I knew I was way under trained for the race, but I had no intention of running it fast so I thought it would  be a good chance of picking up a different race.  Natasha, was there with me and she was somewhat impressed by the turnout (I'm guessing over 85% of those there were running the 10K option which started at the same time).  The course was a loop course along the Moscow river where you would run 4x10.5K loops so it would be flat, but it would be boring.   Natasha stayed around for the entire race and was one of the few spectators cheering the contestants on as the race had very little spectator support or for that matter organization support as they did not have any water for the first 10K and ran out of water during my last 10K lap.  By the time I crossed the finished line, I was severely dehydrated and Natasha said that I looked so bad that she never wanted to see me like that again (I'm thinking I'll have a hard time talking her into running a marathon, despite the fact that she's a natural runner). 

After Sunday, I had three more days to see the sights in Moscow as Natasha was taking two days off later in the week as she had purchased tickets for us to fly to Helsinki.   But, it was a bad week for Natasha as she had to fired and replace a big agency that was supporting her company so she was more than a little stressed which is not the type of environment you want to spend your vacation, but it was good to see what she was like in such an environment.

For the long weekend, we flew to Helsinki where we spent a night and then toured around the city.  I found it to be a nice city with plenty to see for a day which is all the time we had as we took the ferry to Tallinn that evening.  I know several RUA members live in Tallinn, and I understood why as it was a small city (probably less than 500,000) with a somewhat compact center and did not have a true FSU feel in the small part of it that I visited.  It reminded me a little of a smaller version (at least smaller as far as the old town is concerned) of Prague as the Old Town was full of bars mostly populated by Brits who where there to get drunk.  One interesting excursion we took was to see the statue of the Fallen Solider as the Kremlin's propaganda was effective in firing up the Russian population as Natasha was upset about the move of the statue and wanted to see it for herself.  So we spent the good part of an afternoon walking around in a big cemetery before we found an old Russian man who was happy to show us where it was located (for anyone else walking to see it, you need to walk through the main cemetery, then exit on the far side where you'll find the small military cemetery and the statue is on full display or if you know the city, just drive there (actually, I thought a more appropriate location for it)).   Anyways, the weekend days passed too quickly and soon it was time for us to return to Moscow which meant I would be leaving the next day for the USA.

On the day for my flight, Natasha was up early as she had a lot of things to take care of in the office and I caught my taxi to SVO.  It was almost like we were leaving for a few days as she was again back in work mode and thinking about everything that needed to get done as her phone was going off all weekend as the regions were calling her to see what was going on and I found out that her job was more than the mere Project Manager position she described it as.  The one highlight was getting upgraded to business class for the flight between Moscow and Atlanta which had not happened for almost a year so I was not complaining. 

Anyways, for those who have reached this threshold before me, you know that a lot of things still need to happen, but I feel lucky that I have had the benefit of spending 4 months of face time with Natasha along with the fact that she has been to America three times to see me.  In other words, we pretty much know what to expect from each other, but that will not be any guarantee for success in the long term, still it's better than making a decision after only a few weeks together. 

Next, a summary of thoughts about this process (maybe a repeat of my first post here)...

[wicheese]

Now that I'm fairly confident that my searching phase for that special person is over, it's time for me to reflect on my experience and share my thoughts.  I will admit that they are unique to me as each of us have our own set of circumstances, but maybe someone will read something that will help them to either start or end their search in the FSU.  So here are my thoughts as they are just my opinion and based on my limited (maybe not so limited experience):

1.Despite the fact that I have found someone special, I would tell anyone thinking about starting a search in the FSU to NOT do it!  My reasons are many, with the main one being that it's easy to find someone in this search and they will probably be better looking and younger than the typical person we could date locally, but it takes a lot more time, effort, and money to find out if they are truly that special person (in my case I thought I found that special person before, but with taking time to know the person I realized I had made false starts and if I had continued with the person it probably would have lead to a future divorce).  A second reason is that I have seen a lot more long-term failure than success stories as this includes dating FSUW locally who go into detail about all the women they know who came here by marrying Americans and are now divorced, hearing the stories of neighbors or friends who are more than happy to tell you about the train wrecks that they know about, or just the realization that the divorce rate is already high so adding in the additional challenges of culture, language, and motives you are really increasing the degree of difficulty.  The last reason why I would say this is that if you spent as much time (trust me I invested a lot), money, and effort in looking for someone within 100 miles of where you live, then there is probably a great chance that you would have found someone very nice (if you are realistic on how attractive you are to others).

2. Time with the person is critical in this search.  I know that there are many stories of men visiting for a week and returning home engaged to me married, but you are essentially going to be marrying a stranger as I think there is no substitute for spending actual face time with the person.  If you are not comfortable with marrying a stranger, then be prepared to make many trips and hopefully she'll have a chance to visit you in your city for an extended period of time. As I mentioned previously, I certainly have benefited by taking my time with the people I dated in the FSU.

3.Communication is critical.  Just like it's important to have face time with the person, it's also important be able to communicate with the person. I think using an online translator can work when two people have a good idea about who the other person is and are aware that sometimes things are translated wrong, but it certainly makes things a lot easier when you share a common language (granted, even then you have times when the FSUW might look at you silently as your words just did not translate in her head).  

4.I have learned that Russians have no problem with the little white lie.  What this means to you is that we might never really be sure about what the motives of the lady we are talking to are.  I truly think that economics enters into most FSUW decisions, even if they say it's all about love. If you are OK with that fact, then it's no a problem.  If you need to be 100% certain, then best to stay at home.

5.In many ways, I think looking for a wife in the FSU is overrated.  Much is made of the beauty of the women in the FSU, but after 11 trips and being a self admitted people watcher, I will say that there are certainly many attractive women (seemingly a higher percentage than in the west), but when I have taken time to observe the crowds, it's not too different from the west as there are some ugly women, lots of average women (granted a little thinner and dressed better), and some very attractive ones.  Also, one of the common denominators of the more attractive FSUW is age as beauty is often the domain of younger women and the FSU population (working age that is out and about) is a young population.  Overall, based on what I have seen, the FSUW do not always age well and you really need to think about this if it's a trophy you are seeking in the FSU.

6.Know the true reason why you are looking in the FSU and be honest with yourself.  Too often I hear it's because we can't find someone in the west (e.g. women in the west are too fat), but I really feel it's because we are greedy.  We want the attractive, young, and educated women but often do not resemble those same characteristics.  So all I'm saying here is that if you take the time to get yourself in shape (I mean in good shape), have maximized our educational possibilities, and have a realistic age range then the chances are you'll meet your equal in your country (if you still want someone who is beyond your league you are in, then admit that you want more, but don't blame the women of your country).  

7.If you are broke, unemployed, or don't like spending money then stay home.  You'll be spending money on trips (even one trip will cost you a good amount), supporting your FSUW when she arrives in your country (she will be dependent on you), and there is no guarantee she'll be able to work in her profession that she had in the FSU without a lot of retraining and education.

8.Don't buy the hype about FSUW.  First, they are all individuals so there is no guarantee that any general description of FSUW fits all.  Second, too many people think the FSUW is a traditional women who will be obedient to the man (true, they like a strong man, but they are strong women and from what I have seen, they'll be running the home but are smart enough to do it in a way that makes you think you are in charge).  

9.Realize that people in your home country will think something is not normal if you are looking for someone in another country.  In many ways, their thoughts might be accurate and most of the time they'll be talking behind your back.  So learn how to laugh it off and realize that your relationship will always be more scrutinized than a normal relationship.

10.Believe in luck!  It's true that if you go through the process and are detailed in your search, you'll find someone who fits your needs (finding someone in the FSU is easy, but finding a good long-term fit is the hard part).  Where luck comes in, is that you find someone who is truthful with you and not just telling you what you want to hear, someone that can adjust to the location where you live and lifestyle you maintain, and who is really looking for true love and not just human money machine.

[Misha]

OK, during this time I had taken a look at singles.ru and wrote a number of ladies with one who attracted me to her profile as she had traveled the world going on scuba safaris and even had done a fair amount of ice diving. 

Another man who found love with singles.ru (aka mamba) 

I have to ask, though, what is ice diving?

[Faux Pas]

Great stuff wicheese!

[OlgaH]

I have to ask, though, what is ice diving?

Misha, it is diving under ice.

(...  and snow diving   )

Sorry, wicheese, I hope I did not spoil your trip report.

[Vinnvinny]

Great stuff wicheese!

+ 1 

You raise some interesting points in your last post, some of which I would question. So as to avoid your thread meandering off topic I will start a new thread and will be interested in your reply. 

[wicheese]

Misha, it is diving under ice.

(...  and snow diving  )

Sorry, wicheese, I hope I did not spoil your trip report.

OlgaH,

No you did not spoil anything and I had to laugh at your last picture...

So I'm guessing you have done some Ice Diving as well. 

[wicheese]

Another man who found love with singles.ru (aka mamba)

Misha,

Yes, singles.ru worked for me and I'll give credit to boards like this one as I probably would have never even heard about it if not reading other trip reports.  So I probably should have mentioned the value of these online forums in my conclusion as I do not always agree with what everyone says and I'm sure not everyone will agree with what I think, but there is a lot to learn and I really wish I had discovered them a lot earlier in my search.

[wicheese]

+ 1 

You raise some interesting points in your last post, some of which I would question. So as to avoid your thread meandering off topic I will start a new thread and will be interested in your reply. 

VinnVinny,

Not a problem, as I said my experience is unique to me and will not always work for everyone.  Also, there is some hypothetical statements in there as I said I am pretty sure I would have found someone closer to home if I had invested the same effort, but one will really never know the answer as my focus was elsewhere (just one example).

[OlgaH]

OlgaH,
So I'm guessing you have done some Ice Diving as well. 

When I was 8-9 y.o. After that accident I have never tried again 

[Daveman]

... (finding someone in the FSU is easy, but finding a good long-term fit is the hard part).  Where luck comes in, is that you find someone who is truthful with you and not just telling you what you want to hear, someone that can adjust to the location where you live and lifestyle you maintain, and who is really looking for true love and not just human money machine.

Great post overall and I agree with much of it... wanted to reemphasize this paragraph and especially the bold art.  I've said many time, any fool/idiot can marry an RW... it just ain't that hard, but finding someone who really fits together with you as a life partner... now that's another story...

[3T_Ventus]

Wicheese!

Great report!

For a newbie in this international dating adventure this is timely and very useful. Some things coincide with what I have been reading from experts and now reading from an experienced guy just makes everything more real. Just came yesterday from visiting an FSUW. This woman is fantastic...but there are unfortunately some orange flags and I just have to be careful and see whether these flags turn into red. Just need some real face time. 

Thanks once again...and success!

[JR]

Good job cheesyman, you've been honest with yourself, puts you leagues ahead of the crowd.

Best of everything to you.

[JR]

Wicheese!


...but there are unfortunately some orange flags and I just have to be careful and see whether these flags turn into red. 

Hehe, an orange flag is a full fledged Red Flag hiding behind a little white lie )))))

Confucious says. "He who walks with eyes half closed walk into door half the time."

[3T_Ventus]

JR,

Wise words! I will keep my eyes wide open...

 

[Lily]

wicheese,

Yours is by far the best analysis of the RW search endeavor which I ever read! Very well done!

[kievstar]

WiCheese, good points on the search.  But I think you are a little different as you mentioned your GF came to the USA several times.  I think you also are seeing an older lady who is into her career.  In your case she is just like most western women who can travel where they want and support themselves.  More career orientated.  Not sure your GF even has had children yet? 

I find there are many AW and RW who are family orientated and many RW and AW who are career orientated.  Some are mixed but place family first. 

[wicheese]

WiCheese, good points on the search.  But I think you are a little different as you mentioned your GF came to the USA several times.  I think you also are seeing an older lady who is into her career.  In your case she is just like most western women who can travel where they want and support themselves.  More career orientated.  Not sure your GF even has had children yet? 

I find there are many AW and RW who are family orientated and many RW and AW who are career orientated.  Some are mixed but place family first. 

Kievstar,

You are correct in your assumptions, but I think Natasha would not be happy with being characterized as older as she's only 34 and you are correct as she does not have any children and was never married.  Also, she has been career orientated out of necessity as she remembers well the days when potatoes were the main course and the only money being earned came from a grandfathers military pension as her parents would go without pay for up to six months.  So through some hard work and maybe a little luck she now has a nice middle class lifestyle, but she's ready to have a family and that's why she's willing to accept a significant change in her life.

Now the reality is, once she's here permanently, will she be happy with taking a lesser job because even if she focused on her career it would be difficult to replace her position?  I've already seen the culture shock when she was here for her long visit and despite her coming to the realization that things here are just different (not worse as she was thinking), I know that the transition (call it the blending of our lives) will not be easy and in many ways the hard part of this process is yet to come even if we are both going into this with eyes wide open.