First meeting

[countach]

I got married pretty young. Hardly really ever got in the dating game. Now I'm middle aged, divorced, and contemplating meeting a Russian woman. So I feel a bit ignorant of women in general, and Russians in particular.

So let's say I correspond with some Russian lady for a little while, and we decide we have enough in common to meet.

So first, what is the protocol for first greeting? Hug? Kiss on the cheek? Shake hands? My instinct is hug, but I know east europeans are big into kisses on the cheek, and even men will kiss other men, so what is the consensus?

And I think I read somewhere that it is appropriate to offer a gift. Any advice on that one?

And after that in early dates, what kinds of physical affection are considered non-threatening? I don't want to be seen as pushy and pre-emptive of a relationship that hasn't really started proper yet, and on the other hand don't want to be cold and stand-offish. And different cultures have different ideas about things like holding hands, and stuff like that. Maybe its just I'm a man and she's a woman, and I have to play it by ear, but if there is any advice or pitfalls, let me know.

[I/O]

I'd be looking to score a time or three own local turf before venturing offshore.

[Kuna]

Too early to be contemplating things like this...  relax...

It would depend on how you meet her... I assume you're talking about WOVO...  then it would depend on how your correspondence goes.... how long... how much detail... how close you feel to her and how close you think she feels to you.

Generally I would not kiss a stranger on first meeting... nor would a FSUW... but it really depends where you're at with her when you meet.

Giving gifts is normal on meeting, and on return trips.  If you're going to meet a ladies family it is also normal to bring gifts for them. Again,  too early to decide on that but something personal or relevant is best IMHO.



Also agreewith I/O...dating in FSU is not easy...  get some training in at home would help you greatly.  First challenge to over come is introspection.

[countach]

My discussions with a lady are already far enough along that it isn't ridiculously early to be contemplating this. BTW, not clued up on acronyms, WOVO, FSUW, FSU...

[GoodOlBoy]

My discussions with a lady are already far enough along that it isn't ridiculously early to be contemplating this. BTW, not clued up on acronyms, WOVO, FSUW, FSU...

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/mwiki/index.php?title=RWD_Glossary

But these are much more important for you to know:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?pid=2

GOB

[ML]

Too early to be contemplating things like this...  relax...

It would depend on how you meet her... I assume you're talking about WOVO...  then it would depend on how your correspondence goes.... how long... how much detail... how close you feel to her and how close you think she feels to you.

This is very good advice.  With only 6-8 emails exchanged, I can get a very good feel (so to speak) of the woman and what is going to be appropriate on first date.

Generally I would not kiss a stranger on first meeting... nor would a FSUW... but it really depends where you're at with her when you meet.

I have kissed most FSUW upon first meeting.  But they are in 40s age group.  Could be quite different in younger age group.

Giving gifts is normal on meeting, and on return trips.  If you're going to meet a ladies family it is also normal to bring gifts for them. Again,  too early to decide on that but something personal or relevant is best IMHO.

Agree.

Also agreewith I/O...dating in FSU is not easy... 

I disagree.  But again, I am dealing with the 40 something group.  I encounter no problems at all and find them quite warm and fun to be with from first instant in vast majority of cases.  Also should note that I only meet women who can converse in English; but not even good English is required.

I should also note I am around women constantly in my job in USA, so maybe this helps me.  They are no great mystery to me and never leave me 'tongue tied', feeling awkward, etc.

get some training in at home would help you greatly. 

Good advice and will probably help with the statement below.

First challenge to over come is introspection.

[ECOCKS]

I wouldn't give a gift on arrival unless you always take a gift on your first dates in your home country. I've never heard of anyone doing that in my area so doubt you do either.

On first meetings I cannot recall kissing any of the gals mostly just shaking hands and saying hello.

You still have a ways to go before needing this info so let the situation develop and see how it goes.

[Aloe]

So first, what is the protocol for first greeting? Hug? Kiss on the cheek? Shake hands? My instinct is hug, but I know east europeans are big into kisses on the cheek, and even men will kiss other men, so what is the consensus?

Who told you that? I don't remember anyone except young girls kissing each others cheeks. Certainly not men, lol.
If you are getting your image from the movies, then it's a very poor image. By the way, did you know that most of "russians" in all american movies are actually played by americans? In most cases they speak with a completely ununderstandable accent. They have millions of russians there, yet they choose americans for all their russian roles, i don't get it. They don't even bother getting their lines straight. I remember in some big popular movie, there is russian president, so his security guy comes up to him and says "your mother in-law is coming tomorrow", and english hard coded subtitles say something completely off, dont remember what exactly, but it was something like "we have sent our spies" or something. So yeah, don't trust movies
And they usually exaggerrate a lot, when they portray Russia.

And I think I read somewhere that it is appropriate to offer a gift. Any advice on that one?

I think some stuff from your area is appropriate. Do you have like something special thats produced in your area, if not, then think in larger areas, like east coast, or even entire country, something typically from your country?

And after that in early dates, what kinds of physical affection are considered non-threatening? I don't want to be seen as pushy and pre-emptive of a relationship that hasn't really started proper yet, and on the other hand don't want to be cold and stand-offish. And different cultures have different ideas about things like holding hands, and stuff like that. Maybe its just I'm a man and she's a woman, and I have to play it by ear, but if there is any advice or pitfalls, let me know.

I'd say go for hug at first sight

[GQBlues]

Contach-

OK, So you were married almost all your adult life with a woman from your own language and culture, yet now seeks another from a radically different one. Hhhmmm, I won't be consistent if I didn't tell you there's much to appreciate marrying someone from your own culture but everyone's different. Heck, even FSUWs will tell you that as so many of them are married to ex-pats living here in the USA.

Having said that....

"So first, what is the protocol for first greeting? Hug? Kiss on the cheek? Shake hands? My instinct is hug, but I know east europeans are big into kisses on the cheek, and even men will kiss other men, so what is the consensus?"

Allow this to take it's own course.

What I would like to tell you is to make sure you pack up a lot of your wits and instinct on your first trip. Bring along a suitcase full of sensuality as well but darn make sure you leave your heart at home. When you're emotional self start taking over a lot of the processing on your voyage (or dealing with women in general), you're likely to skip through a lot of things you really need to pay close attention to and you will be more prone to lose control of yourself and thinking.

Hint: Every single woman I met in Moscow puckered their lips within minutes of our respective meeting.

"And I think I read somewhere that it is appropriate to offer a gift. Any advice on that one?"

That will always be a nice gesture from your part. Ideas: a) Photo Album of your town and city, b) Sweets. If you have local delights (e.g. See's Candies are California's own), bring some along; c) Flowers; d) Fragrant body wash or spray; e) Variety of tea, preferably green tea, and maybe from here....

Remember, this is a gesture not an indulgment. Practice discretion.

Hint: 8 of 9 women had a token gift for me. My favorite was the nice 'egg' with some hand painted pictures of Moscow drawn on it. I ended up marrying the gal who came empty handed. So go figure...

" And after that in early dates, what kinds of physical affection are considered non-threatening?"

Are you serious? Learn how to walk across the street from her and see how that'll work for you...What did your experiences from dating your ex-wife showed you?

"I don't want to be seen as pushy and pre-emptive of a relationship that hasn't really started proper yet, and on the other hand don't want to be cold and stand-offish. And different cultures have different ideas about things like holding hands, and stuff like that. Maybe its just I'm a man and she's a woman, and I have to play it by ear, but if there is any advice or pitfalls, let me know."

That, Bubba, is what I mean by leaving your 'heart' at home. You're already tied-up in knots over this and you haven't yet met her in person. Wait until you arrive and be completely out of your element and in her territory. But hey, you wanted to shun an entire country of women with common language and culture like your own. So, man-up. Dating is supposed to be fun. Just enjoy yourself and relax. There'll be another person other than yourself on your date that will address much to what is unknown for now. Her participation in it will likely give you much more than any rehearsed possibilities you can play in your head.

There is however a 'service' where a man you do not know will decide for you which woman you should live the rest of your life with for a few thousand dollars. All you need to tell him is whether you like blonde or brunette, LOL.

[Gator]

Countach,

It is a very exciting moment to meet these RW for the first time.  Many including the RW can be nervous, so maintain your poise.

I am neither a kisser nor hugger at first meeting.  I usually approached these meetings as follows:

With a modest smile I walked slowly up to the RW.  I drew close and  stood still.  All the time I gazed deeply yet gently into her fabulous eyes.  I introduced myself, and without waiting for her response, my eyes probed and searched for something in her eyes.  Her response could be anything.  It probably will be unforgettable.

"We have Liftoff!"  From there, relax and be yourself.  Enjoy the time together!

BTW, when looking into her eyes, don't stare, and for sure don't gape with your mouth open.

[Steamer]

BTW, when looking into her eyes, don't stare, and for sure don't gape with your mouth open.

 

That's tougher than it sounds!

[kievstar]

I have shaken hands, kissed cheek, done nothing, etc.  I think the most important thing is to do what is most comfortable for you and do it with confidence.  Most important be yourself.  Most RW know AM shake hands so there not going to be offended.