This is not for me

[kievstar]

Boethius in the future post all that is written and not edit pieces to your liking.

Mods why is Boethius a mod here since all she does is sitr the pot.  Please remove all my posts from this board.

Dan, what is the best way to get all my posts removed so I can exit.  thanks

[kievstar]

Boethius, also read what I posted it was a conversation with BC and not Josey.  But you decided to twist it to your liking and start something with me and Josey.  Very good Mod you are.

[Boethius]

No, I didn't "twist it to my liking".  If your response was meant as a riposte to BC only, with no reference to the OP, you should have made that clearer in your post.  Furthermore, BC certainly referred to Josey.

[BillyB]

3:  I believe both spouses need a trade.  Stay at home wifey is not attractive to me.

Many FSU women take care of themselves without a man. Most FSU women I've spoken to have no problems working and are motivated to do so.

4:  I have spoken to an immigration attorney.  His thoughts are there will be problems for the fiance visa if the sponsor has a criminal background.  The gooberment is not your friend.

In a previous thread you said you were convicted of simple assualt. Assuming you found a lady at a dating site, nobody would have to know. You don't need to supply a police record to the dating site and the I-129F forms for the K-1 doesn't ask if you've been convicted of assault. If you were convicted of domestic violence or sexual assault, you would need to state that but in a previous thread you said it was a misdemeanor, an argument, and someone threw a punch. If so, your attorney is wrong. Not a big deal IMO....unless there is more to all this.

5:  The process seems emotionally draining, frustrating.  Also, I don't have the patience and understanding of a RW who is flustered upon her arrival in a new country, and the baggage that comes with it.

If you find the wrong woman anywhere, you won't have the patience and life with be frustrating and emotionally draining. If you find the right woman who works with you as a team player, life will be fun. I'm open to looking everywhere especially after looking at American dating sites. The quality of the women there is terrible.

The high cost and not having enough vacation time seems to be the most valid reasons you have to not pursuing an FSU woman.

[Mike78]

Hmm, I came to a similar conclusion about giving up on this "thing", but perhaps some of my reasons were a bit different. Also, I wasn't really looking for a FSU lady, but for a girl from Slovakia/Czech rep. as I'm myself a Slovakian immigrant. This is probably a bit different than dealing with FSUW, the advantage is that EU citizens don't need visa to USA so it's easy for her to visit, the disadvantage is that many of them might not be very motivated to move here. I had a nice Slovakian girl visiting me here in Phoenix and this visit was quite unsuccessful. My thoughts on why I think this is a bad idea for me at this point of my life:

- Too big of a jump in relationship is necessary. Although we were on a few dates when I was in Europe, her living with me here 24/7, although for a quite short time, felt like being married again, and not in a good way. We didn't get along as well as we thought we would. I think it's better when you take things slowly, e.g you just go out with a girl for a couple weeks, then maybe spend a whole day/night at one of your places, later on short vacation, etc. Taking things slowly.

- Cultural issues. This might be surprising since we both grew up in the same culture. However, I've lived here for many years now and got very assimilated. She has many (usually small) issues with certain little things. It wasn't really that big of a deal, but it was still kind of annoying (although cute in a way). She also wasn't that impressed with USA in general and was bitching quite a bit. Part of this could be blamed on jet-lag though, since she really is a genuinely nice person...

- Well, immigration and financial issues. I wouldn't want to get married anytime soon for sure, and although there are other ways for her to stay here (e.g. school), it would be a huge headache and financially draining. Even if married, it would take a few years for her to get up to speed and find a decent job. On the other hand, my current girlfriend (Eastern European born BTW) probably makes more money than me and when we go out together we spend money equally.

Now, I'm not saying I'm not eventually going to try something like this again sometime in the future. Who knows, I'm still young (31). But honestly, there are good girls living here in America as well. They might be not as hot on AVERAGE, but plenty of them are good looking and nice at the same time. Also the men here are much fatter here as well, so it almost cancels out. I don't date fat girls here, since I don't have to. And as far as character goes, I'm not really convinced FSU/EU women would be better on average. Dating in America is certainly frustrating for most men, I definitely find it more challenging than dating in Eastern Europe. However, it is a two way street, it is very frustrating for the average AW as well, trust me...

[wicheese]

- Cultural issues. This might be surprising since we both grew up in the same culture. However, I've lived here for many years now and got very assimilated. She has many (usually small) issues with certain little things. It wasn't really that big of a deal, but it was still kind of annoying (although cute in a way). She also wasn't that impressed with USA in general and was bitching quite a bit. Part of this could be blamed on jet-lag though, since she really is a genuinely nice person...

The above might have something to do with culture shock as well.  I know when my significant other visited for an extended period of time, she was complaining about a lot of things here in the USA.  When she left I was thinking that was good to know thinking no way is this relationship going forward, but when she had time to reflect she realized that things were no worse here, just different.  Now seven months later, dealing with Moscow traffic and all the other hassles, she recognizes the benefits of life here, but it took time for her to come to that point.  Bottom line, this is why patience is so important!

[BC]

Boethius in the future post all that is written and not edit pieces to your liking.

Mods why is Boethius a mod here since all she does is sitr the pot.  Please remove all my posts from this board.

Dan, what is the best way to get all my posts removed so I can exit.  thanks

Kiev,

That's a quite strong reaction 4 sure.  Whassup with that?

Boethius did get the jist of things quite well.

As for mod status, think more about normal members with the ability to tidy up a bit when necessary.  As far as being a mod goes it should not affect, alter or require a member maintain a particular style of posting.

[Jumper]

AJ, old boy, 'the likes of us' are compromised in one way or another. I'm surprised that you haven't noticed. Of course, there are folks who blow their own horns ad naseaum but we know what that's about, don't we?

  If you want to paint with such a broad brush , then i suppose *compromised*  is a polite way to word it..
and i don't disagree with that.

 My point was rather more simple,that attractive FSU women here on their own steam, can and do
find "men like us" interesting, i suppose regardless all of our  bumps or defects?
I've known plenty of men dating local RW, and I would have never noticed RW ,if not for dating some locally.
So i found the statement , that *they certainly would not be interested  * , a bit out there.
Hold on to it dearly if you wish.
again personal experiences vary ,
i just happen to know a lot of  attractive RW immigrants here on work or student visas ,
most eventually date or are now married to *the likes of  us*

Some might fare a bit better..

let's hope so right? 
 

Anyway, I agree that Clint is wise to avoid an international relationship if he doesn't have the obsessiveness patience for it.

He is simply more sane.
Hope that works out for him.

[I/O]

USA holds a yearly green card lottery, they give out about 150k green cards to people with university education/work experience. The chances are quite high to win, word lottery is misleading, because they only accept a limited number of candidates, so it's not like a normal lottery where your chances are one in a billion. I think it's like 1 in 3 or 5. At least this is how i remember it from reading about it a few years ago. So if anyone wants to immigrate, they should look up the lottery.

"The Congressionally mandated Diversity Immigrant Visa Program makes available 50,000 diversity visas (DV) annually, drawn from random selection among all entries to persons who meet strict eligibility requirements from countries with low rates of immigration to the United States".

One would be looking for the 2013 GIG now as 2012 DV lottery registrations have closed. One of the less esteemed members (at the time) was touting this as a realistic option a few years back. Personally, I think it is still very much a "lottery".

[JR]

Sounds to me like he wants someone to talk him in to it.   

Or their own little "Justification Junction" took a hit and they feel they have to lash out at the one who is so brazen to make such pointed statements.

[GQBlues]

Kudos to the OP! You aren't the first and likely won't be the last...

I also just want to take the time to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!! To those happily married, presently engaged, currently enamored, you have much to be thankful about.

Enjoy your weekend holiday and get out there and play golf! 

[Doll]

Hello.  I've given some thought to this adventure, and am thinking this is not the way to find a wife for me.  My reasons:

1:  I only have 1 week of vacation in which to visit Europe/Asia.  I cannot take time for 3-4 trips per year.
2:  The cost of the vacation.
3:  I believe both spouses need a trade.  Stay at home wifey is not attractive to me.
4:  I have spoken to an immigration attorney.  His thoughts are there will be problems for the fiance visa if the sponsor has a criminal background.  The gooberment is not your friend.
5:  The process seems emotionally draining, frustrating.  Also, I don't have the patience and understanding of a RW who is flustered upon her arrival in a new country, and the baggage that comes with it.

Number five really seems to be the kicker.  I have more enjoyment getting to know a lady in person than spending several months on someone whom I cannot identify.  If I get shot down, I prefer moving on to the next one in line, preferably the same weekend.  

Another thought I have....if these ladies desire a man from the west, why don't they get on a plane themselves and visit America?  An attractive woman won't stay single long over here.  

I just don't have the desire to do this adventure, and can meet a good lady here in the states.  My reasons seem fair, and they are honest.

Well, 1 and 2 are your personal issues, 5- is the biggest problem in my opinion (meaning- I agree).4- most of RW do want to work.  All the above are "canceled" if you  have a criminal background (I suppose).
Like I keep saying, the idea is most likely not worth making all the efforts.
It does work for some people, but mostly these marriages are PITA  
I know what I am talking about- we've have been married for almost 9 years.

[mies]

I believe vast majority of FSU women want to work, ...

I believe majority of FSU women do not want to marry a man with a criminal record.
Josey has a solid reasoning, and I agree - for him it would be much better to look for wife locally.  

[Doll]

Yes, this is what I said- the criminal record cancels all the rest of the issues.

[happilymarried]

I know one guy who married a Russian woman, she sold her furniture and apartment, so when she showed up she had a couple thousand in cash with her, got her green card stamped and started working soon after she got here.
But I think that is the exception and you really can't count on it.

My marriage worked out pretty good, but I spent a lot of money and time the first several years, I am not sure what would have happened if I would have had to work 8 to 5.

[erudite]

Yes, this is what I said- the criminal record cancels all the rest of the issues.

It depends on what the record is for and quite honestly in the country with the largest prison population in the world and still writing laws to keep it that way because it is good business, what one does in America and goes to prison for under certain circumstances is "no big deal" in many FSU countries.  Morals, values and laws sometimes come into tremendous conflict but in the end money wins out and thus we have the largest criminal population in the world and growing faster all the time to keep the business churning.

[tfcrew]

  Demographic links American prisons...
Supposedly, 90% of states' inmates are in, or have been in a correctional facility for a violent crime .....

Here's the kicker.. a criminal background check [per se] might reveal text stating a record of a non-violent infraction....bogus!

http://social.jrank.org/pages/1352/Prisons.html

Re; the original post.... The process is obviously costly.
There are links, contacts and other connections on this board to make it less so.



Karl

[kaye132]

Thanks for your honesty. I am a newbie and don't want to get caught up in the fantasy however there are a couple of really interesting women I may just HAVE to make the effort to meet.