RW and their views on children..

[Saltheart]

I have several questions:

1- at what point do RW's view their teenage children as "adults"?
2- is there an expectation that children should sacrifice themselves to help their parents?
3- is there a maturity difference between Russian children/teens vs. Western?
4- are there higher expectations/demands put on Russian Children?
5- have the RW's who've moved to the west had their views changed on child rearing since they relocated?

Thx.

-SH

[acctBill]

Short answers:

1. Never, to some degree most RW will always regard their children as children.
2. No just the opposite, the expectation is that parents should sacrifice to help their children
3. My opinion is that western children/teens are generally more mature
4. Again my opinion because there are more opportunities in the west than in Russia there are generally higher expectations on western children
5. In a few more years my wife will have lived in the west longer than she lived in Russia.  She's come to believe that Russian men should be far
    more involved in child rearing because of what she's observed in the west.

[dbneeley]

To some extent, it's hard to give an accurate general response to some of these questions.

For example, in an age when so many Western young people are involved in playing rather foolish video games well into their 20s and beyond, what does that say about "maturity"? In general, though, teens in the FSU seem a bit less mature in some ways than most I am familiar with in the U.S.--especially the boys here, who are often incredibly cosseted by their mothers.

As for "most RW will always regard their children as children"--in my experience, this is not an FSU thing alone. It seems to be the case pretty much anywhere.

Parents do sacrifice for their children, often to help them get started in life and to buy a home. Later, as the parents age, that often reverses and the kids take care of their aging parents. My mother-in-law lost her husband last year; she is living at the moment with my brother-in-law and this coming Summer she will come to live with us. She simply could not afford a decent place to live otherwise, and as she grows older she would not have much of a future in the small town she has lived in for the past thirty years with no relatives close by. Her schoolteacher's retirement pension is far too small for her to manage comfortably otherwise. Thus, we have bought a second flat so there would be room for all of us; this one will be her home together with my stepson; later, he will receive it for his own start in life after he finishes his education.

David

[Gator]

Salt,

Each woman is different.  Discuss this with your woman.

When I first met my ex-wife she and her two children were inseparable.  After marriage, I was spending more time with them than she did.  She became upset when I thought it best to hold her son back one year at school (he was small for his age).  Her goal was to get him out of the house by age 17.

My Cossack lady and her 22-yo daughter are still close.  And Mama is strict, such as when a young man came over to meet the daughter, Mama insisted that they walk around the neighborhood and not get into his car.   She watched through a window to make sure they walked, and then turned to me and said, "I am old woman."

[Lily]

Short answers:

1. Never, to some degree most RW will always regard their children as children.
2. No just the opposite, the expectation is that parents should sacrifice to help their children
3. My opinion is that western children/teens are generally more mature
4. Again my opinion because there are more opportunities in the west than in Russia there are generally higher expectations on western children
5. In a few more years my wife will have lived in the west longer than she lived in Russia.  She's come to believe that Russian men should be far
    more involved in child rearing because of what she's observed in the west.

Agree with these answers.

[mies]

Perhaps, if you will explain why are you asking these questions, and what your concerns are, it will be easier for FSUW on this forum to answer you.