Excellent, but will they be offended?

[Gef]

Having resigned myself to staying with a Russian family rather than on my own, I sought and received a wealth of good advice and insight from a Russian acquaintance on how to be the perfect guest in a Russian home. Many of them I would never have thought of on my own, but one idea in particular struck me at first as being a rather elegant way of saying "thank you". She suggested that I bring from America a nice 'Thank you card' and put $100 in it and place it in my room so that they will find it later after I left. I would write on the card in Russian, a short message of appreciation and thanks.  But now I wonder if they may see it as arrogant and  misunderstand it as "for services rendered" and be offended with me? I only wonder about this because here where I live, such a gesture may be considered inappropriate if not rude. Any opinians please?
Gef - who is still learning.

[BC]

If it was a family I had arranged to rent a room from fine.

If it was my GF's family I was staying with I would look for another gift while I was there.  My MIL loved a good kitchen mixer/processor set that I bought for her.  Maglite set for 'PA'.

[Oosik]

If you sleep with someone there and leave money, it would be offensive. Avoid that, and you'll be OK!

$100 is a pretty good tip. I don't know where you are going, but keep in mind $300/month is probably average-good salary. If you are doing a Hofa homestay, the host family gets $15-$25 per day, depending on what level of stay you take.

I would say getting your own cell phone immediately would be a good way to be polite, like anywhere, they hate having someone run up the phone bill!

[Gef]

To clarify, I'm staying with my lady and her parents. They have a spare room that they have prepared for me. Hotels are not available to me in Severodvinsk but it seems important that they want me to stay there with them just the same. I suspect so that her parents can closely evaluate the sort of man that has taken an interest in their daughter, and who can blame them? They do have a very close relationship and so the arrangement is  making perfect sense to me now. On a certain level we are "dating" the parents too. I figure that once they understand my true nature while I live with them day & night, it will work to my definite advantage in the future, if we decide to continue. So, we shouldn't  forget the role the parents play in this whole thing of ours. Even so, I would hate to spoil everything by leaving what may be construed as a "tip". Maybe I should skip it rather than take the chance.

[Elen]

To my mind just to leave money would not be a good idea in this case because you should say "thank" directly I think. So some gift for parents would be better
Aslo I would sudgest to discuss money issue with your girl before you arive You are a guest of course but to feed you may cost them rather huge part of their salaries ( more than 100$ btw)

[dostogirl]

To me it doesn't seem offensive at all. I'd do that, leaving the envelope on the table. But before leaving I will thank them again.

[Goombah]

I'd suggest "making them a deal" - you will buy the food if they will prepare it!  Don't forget to slip in a bottle or two of champaign and a few other delicacies - but don't overdue it.  Perhaps suggest they make "shaslick" (I'm sure I slaughtered that - but basically its shisk-ka-bobs) - then buy the meat, and buy a lot of it.  You can eat off it all week, and is the major expense item for them.  You might be surprised how good cold BBQ is when ate as a side dish with borsch.

You can also help them out by buying useful gifts.  For instance, my future (VERY NEAR future - 10 days to go!) father-in-law really wanted a circular saw.  He has built three small greenhouses in his backyard using a hand saw.  A good one in Omsk cost as much as one here, and because of power and cord issues, was something I simply needed to buy there.  My fiancee, her father, and I went to the store one day and he picked out one he liked and I paid the bill (about $230 - well beyond his normal resources).  He was thrilled!  Since having the saw, he has built two more greenhouses!

In a similar fashion, you may find something they need but are doing without because of the expense.  Get it for them!  It may cost $100, or $250, or $500 - it doesn't matter, if they need it, get it. 

That said, your approach to determining this need is critical.  Pay attention, they may provide hints, but your financee's input is probably the best guide.  She will know what they want or truly need but have been hesitant to buy.

Good luck!

Kevin

[ronin308]

When I stay with my fiance and future MIL, I bought almost all of the food while I was there knowing that having me there would be a financial burden.  In addition I would always bring or buy her a gift to show my appreciation.

I'm not sure I would just leave the money.

[Goombah]

I did leave money as well, but it was targeted.  My future FIL had been saving up for a new car.  I gave my fiancee a "contribution" to that fund to be given after I left town.  It was greatly appreciated.

Kevin