UK guy, just starting to think about a foreign romance!

[dsbean]

Hi guys and gals,

I'm David, i'm 41 and live in the UK and i'm starting to get lonely!

I have been married before, I have a 6 year old son who lives with his mother and with me some of the time and I am a little jaded of local dating and losing interest. Now, I know i'm not becoming gay so maybe I need to look further afield!

Not sure where to start really, I have some understanding of the issues and I want to plan my approach first and take my time, i'm not looking at getting married this year but beyond that, well that's up for grabs. I want to avoid the obvious pitfalls and just start out on the right path so any and all advice is welcome. I don't really want to open myself up across the whole of the FSU, so thinking maybe starting in one area or country to start with and see where we go.

So, let the madness commence!

[Patagonie]

Hi, welcome on board.

Read the ten commandments,
go here : http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?board=3.0

you can also read http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=16100.msg336783#new (to be continued)

[ML]

Now, I know i'm not becoming gay so maybe I need to look further afield!

We have a ton of guys pass through here with similar beginning stories.

But no one has (to my knowledge) reported on their experiences of converting to the 'other team.'

So why don't you do us all a favor . . . convert, and report on what it is like to search for a guy, etc.  Kind of boring  here lately, and a report such as that could liven things up here a bit.   

Anyway, welcome aboard.

[dsbean]

Thanks for the welcome fellas. I have been reading the newbie stuff with interest.

OK, let's call the gay thing 'plan B' and give this a whirl first!

[Faux Pas]

Welcome dsbean!

Going gay might have some upside. You could double your wardrobe overnight 

[cc3]

Thanks for the welcome fellas. I have been reading the newbie stuff with interest.

OK, let's call the gay thing 'plan B' and give this a whirl first!

Welcome dsbean! As you can tell, some men on this forum are really bored, so you never know what sort of reply that you might receive.

I was in the search mode, after wife deserted, for five and a half years...eastern European, American, and FSU. The eastern European (Bulgaria) and FSU (Ukraine) yielded far, far better results than the American search. Bulgarian lady and I almost joined together, but relationship was sabotaged by her extremely Oedipally obsessed adult son. After two less than fully successful (but fun, nonetheless) Ukrainian relationships, I at last met my fiancee, virtually, two years ago, physically, one year ago. She is the best woman, in every regard, whom I have ever known, and, trust me, I have known very, very many women.

All of the above is a preamble to the statement that I did all of that searching, finally ending in success, without ever being a member of any forum. I only joined these fora, after becoming engaged, to mine any info that I might need relating to marrying in UA, and acquiring residency there.

If you are an average appearing man, with above average intelligence, and acceptable social skills with the fairer sex, trust your own instincts and find the woman with whom you can carry on an agreeable level of emotional and intellectual repartee. Cultivate this virtual relationship and visit her when you both need more than digital communication. You may need logistical advice; use the forum for that, but keep the personal elements of your burgeoning relationship private.

In this search, the most important thing to do is to separate your chosen one from the dating website as soon as feasibly possible. You cannot ever hope to develop a personal relationship while communicating via the dating website, not to say how expensive it is always connecting through the dating site. If you cannot get her personal data after one to three website sponsored email exchanges, you are on the wrong website.

Finally, ds, all this mentioning of personal communication means that you find an English speaker who needs no email translating. There are millions of ladies in eastern Europe and the FSU who speak English. Do not chase a non-speaker; you will regret it.

Go forth! Have fun! Trust yourself. Let us know about your success!

[Muzh]

  dsbean

My sincerest advice is to forget the agencies and go there by yourself. You'll find your better half rather quickly.

[lordtiberius]

Welcome dsbean! As you can tell, some men on this forum are really bored, so you never know what sort of reply that you might receive.
 . . .
Go forth! Have fun! Trust yourself. Let us know about your success!

What he said, and one more thing, don't listen to these so called experts.  Listen to your gut and the good guys who call you friend.  Best of luck!

[Anotherkiwi]

What he said, and one more thing, don't listen to these so called experts. 

That's a bit harsh.  Many of them have been far more successful at this venture than you have (and no, I don't mean me).
 

Listen to your gut and the good guys who call you friend.  Best of luck!

Your gut - maybe.  Your friends - very doubtful, unless they've already made this particular journey.

[dsbean]

Wow fellas, great responses, thanks. I know advice in many aspects of life can be contradictory but it is all useful nevertheless.

This actually started the other way around. After splitting last year, I started to think about the things I would like to do with the remaining breaths the Lord has allocated for me. One of them was travelling more and I made a list of places I would like to travel to, that included most of the world including parts of Eastern Europe and FSU countries.

That led me to the thought 'well, what if I met someone abroad?' And I found myself here!

This really is a great forum and thanks for the responses

[Chelseaboy]

cc3,
     I know you spend a lot of time in Ukraine now so, in your experience,what would be the percentage of women there who can speak passable English ?
 
Would the percentage be age-related ?
 
I never want to go back there and have the whole meeting controlled by the girls interpreter again,which is what happened to me last time...it just seems so unnatural and contrived.
 
 
 
 

[Patagonie]

Date the interpreter only 

[Anotherkiwi]

Date the interpreter only 

Been there, done that, although not quite in the way you think...
 
Emailed a few ladies in Kyiv when I was in St Petersburg (after my second WOVO failed), telling them that I would be there the following week.  One woman who said yes to a meeting turned out to be an interpreter - lovely person, even if there were enough differences to make this a fun time only.  She had to work each day, but we had three really nice evening dates.  It was such a relief being able to talk with a woman whose English was fluent rather than adequate, and I would certainly recommend her as a translator.
 
As far as I know she's still single, but at 45 or 46 she might be a bit old for most on here. 

[lordtiberius]

Date the interpreter only 

word to your mother!

[cc3]

cc3,
     I know you spend a lot of time in Ukraine now so, in your experience,what would be the percentage of women there who can speak passable English ?
 
Would the percentage be age-related ?
 
I never want to go back there and have the whole meeting controlled by the girls interpreter again,which is what happened to me last time...it just seems so unnatural and contrived.

Sorry, chelseaboy, for delayed response...been focused on my next departure for UA (on Saturday).

The percentage of English speakers is most definitely age-related, inversely, especially where I live, part-time, in extremely russified far eastern Ukraine. Those over about 45 years old are still pining away for the 'good old glory days' of the Soviet Union. While doing that, they haven't accepted the notion that learning English is a fairly valuable activity. The younger people, women more than men, it seems, conversely desire to be as proficient in English as they can be...probably the globalizing influence of the internet.

I and one other member of RWD, Brillynt, were both lucky and successful in meeting our English speaking ladies (in their late 30's, early 40's). In my search, I wasn't looking for women from a certain country. I was looking for an English speaker from any eastern bloc nation with whom I could have meaningful pre-visit communications to explore our possible compatibility. I didn't find my fiancee; she initiated contact...I'm forever grateful that she had the courage to do so, because she is normally a fairly reserved girl.

Her town of Luhansk is a university town, so there is a good number of women of university age and recent post-university (into their early 30's) experience who have some English. But, as I said, go for the woman, rather than the locality.

Good luck!