Anatomy of a Scam

[IAmZon]

I was speaking with a few old friends yesterday. One of them successfully married a girl from Russia, two others visited Russia and Ukraine several times.  I too visited Ukraine and Eastern Europe for 90 days a few years ago.  In those days, I worked the interned - Russian Cupid, VKontact, Elanas Models.   I even used 3 or 4 marriage agencies.  God, the stories I can tell. 

I know I am not alone. 

I remember email conversations that seemed so damn real, and then they predictablly vanished into a cloud of POOF.  They seemed so real to me at the time- the women seemed well intentioned; the story had logic and emotional integrity.  I wonder how much these scams - or disappointments - were my fault for simply filling in the blanks wrong. 

Thought it would be interesting to share stories.  I bet there will be a pattern / a logic tree.  Anybody game?

[jone]

Well, now that you're an old married man, I guess we can let you in on the secrets.

01.  Get the gal's full name.  If she doesn't give it to you, or let you check out her family or give you details on who she is, she ain't real.  As silly as that is, I can't tell you how many guys are taken in by gals with a first name only.

02.  Skype 'em.  Hey, if they don't have access to a computer, throw 'em on the trash heap.  Anyone with a cell phone these days has access, at least, to Viber or Skype.  Even if you can't see 'em, you can talk to them. 

99.9% of women have a cell phone that is capable of direct communication with you.  If she says she can only talk to you on the computer, from work, she's working for an agency!  Is that too hard to understand?  For many guys it is.

03.  Get the gal's address.  If they're working for a pay-per-letter, pay-per-chat, they are programmed not to give it out.  If they don't give it out, they're playing you.  First thing I would do is get an address and send flowers.  It beats the hell out of paying for pay-per-chat.

04.  Zon, you were over there.  The scammers play the odds.  They know that only 5% of the guys actually get on planes.  So, be one of the 5%.  Fly to Eastern Europe and do all of the travel arrangements yourself.  Use this site to find honest interpreters.

Ultimately there are honest women who refuse to give any information.  But, the only way to really contact these women is through an intermediary you trust.   Those, too, you could find using this site.

05.  Last bit of advice.  Never fall in love with a picture.  Relationships are made up of real people.   She may be Helen of Troy, but for every beautiful women there's some guy who can tell you that she is not someone you'd want to wind up with.

[Shadow]

The word scam is overused. Women in the FSU are aware that in the Western world it is them who get to pick their husband, not the oth way around. This means they feel entitled to pick the best they can get, and will not commit until they sense this is their maximal target.
While they do not find what they look for, they play around just like men can play.
That is not scamming. It is a game both men and women engage in, and where the 'losing' side will complain of being treated bad.

If you are an elder man with more money as brains and looking for a 15-year old younger wife to relive your glory days, do not be surprised if you meet some predators.

[CDW]

 They know that only 5% of the guys actually get on planes.  So, be one of the 5%. 

I won't feel confidence flying there when I am not sure with the lady unless I have a very good plan B.

[Shadow]

I won't feel confidence flying there when I am not sure with the lady unless I have a very good plan B.

If you need a very good plan B,  both are doomed to fail.

[CDW]

If you need a very good plan B,  both are doomed to fail.

Plan B has nothing to do with finding women!   I don't travel only to find women!  There are more to life than getting stuck with woman

[Shadow]

Plan B has nothing to do with finding women!   I don't travel only to find women!  There are more to life than getting stuck with woman

Does not matter if it has to do with women or not. If you spend a lot of time to prepare a solid plan B, it leads away from the time you should have spent on plan A.

[CDW]

Does not matter if it has to do with women or not. If you spend a lot of time to prepare a solid plan B, it leads away from the time you should have spent on plan A.

Every travels I went, I always have Plan B - never a failure.    I am good at planning, unlike many of you.   I've seen many men have wasted the trips

[Shadow]

Every travels I went, I always have Plan B - never a failure.    I am good at planning, unlike many of you.   I've seen many men have wasted the trips

However your main purpose, meeting a life partner, has never been reached. Which seems to prove that you are too much looking at the side dishes and not anough at the main course.

[Isthmus]

A 'Plan B' can be organised on the run, whilst travelling irrespective of whether its dating or sightseeing,  as long as you have a smart phone and wi-fi access, it is all fairly straightforward   

[RoboCop]

I did a 3 month long trip of FSU 5 years ago. Ended up meeting 4 girls in total. The first girl I met, was obviously not interested in me, and only interested in getting me to buy her things. The other 3 were genuine--one of them now being my wife.

The first girl actually seemed the most promising initially, despite the letters back-and-forth though, we never skyped or talked on the phone. Some investigation and digging in the hotel room after a few days together, led me to discover she was a pro dater and had at least taken 2 other guys for a bit of a ride.

So my advice is, get as much information as you can about the girl, and then google and reverse image search her. Sending flowers as suggested by jone is a good excuse for retrieving some data.

I want to say though, don't let scammers/pro daters deter you. There are a lot of genuine girls out there. The trip to the FSU was the best decision I made.

[AC]

I did a 3 month long trip of FSU 5 years ago. Ended up meeting 4 girls in total. The first girl I met, was obviously not interested in me, and only interested in getting me to buy her things. The other 3 were genuine--one of them now being my wife.

The first girl actually seemed the most promising initially, despite the letters back-and-forth though, we never skyped or talked on the phone. Some investigation and digging in the hotel room after a few days together, led me to discover she was a pro dater and had at least taken 2 other guys for a bit of a ride.

So my advice is, get as much information as you can about the girl, and then google and reverse image search her. Sending flowers as suggested by jone is a good excuse for retrieving some data.

I want to say though, don't let scammers/pro daters deter you. There are a lot of genuine girls out there. The trip to the FSU was the best decision I made.

Very interesting post.  You are probably the first man on this forum to have a wife from that Azerbaijan.  What led you to go there?  Was she listed on an agency website, or?

[fathertime]

I remember email conversations that seemed so damn real, and then they predictablly vanished into a cloud of POOF.  They seemed so real to me at the time- the women seemed well intentioned; the story had logic and emotional integrity.  I wonder how much these scams - or disappointments - were my fault for simply filling in the blanks wrong. 

Thought it would be interesting to share stories.  I bet there will be a pattern / a logic tree.  Anybody game?

Well Zonny, I never took emailing too seriously myself.  When I was getting ready to travel I started webcamming with some prospects but it was brief and just wanted to see them, and let them see me.  In Ukraine, I could see that there were some in person scams (the old pay my unannounced translator a hefty fee so we can go out to dinner...and oh by the way it is a 3 hour minimum), and supper of course for everybody....Instead I immediately paid for their taxi back to where they came from.


In Colombia I'm sure I was 'scammed' out of a supper or two, or three, but I could live with that....all part of the process is the way I looked at it. 


Fathertime!