Another vacation

[Pkeel1]

Item number one.  The biggest mistake I made was waiting too long for the second trip.  In April I went to meet her for the first time.  In the interim I nearly ruined the relationship.  To keep the flame burning, visiting is necessary.  So go to see her. See her as often as you can. 

Against advice I went for another vacation with her.  She had asked me to go back to the Crimea with her and her daughter in July, but I did not.  This caused her to question my actual interest in her.  I can't say that I blame her, I was also questioning her actual interest as well.  Looking backwards, had I gone it would have helped us both remember why we were interested in each other. 

She does not have any experience with traveling other than to Ukraine.  Because she could visit Montenegro without a visa, we agreed to go to Montenegro.  She gave me complete control over selecting where and how we would get there.  From searching online, I chose Petrovac.  In hindsight I was very lucky to pick this city.  It is small and it is more family oriented.   There were many families visiting while I was there.  Some young parents with children in strollers and also some grandparents, too.

She was convinced I would be in charge of all communication as she did not expect to find many Russian speakers.  From searches online I suspected it would be the other way around.  I was right, many people spoke Russian, but many also spoke English.

We worked out the flights in such a way that I met her in Moscow Domodedovo airport and would fly to Podgorica together.  What neither of us knew was that the airport is much too small for the number of people flying and that she would not be allowed into the international section until shortly before her flight.  And because I did not have a visa, I had to stay in the international section. (In a later post I will relate a short mention of the in transit section of the airport)  We both spent hours in the same airport but not together.

We did meet for a short time before the flight.  The flight from Moscow to Podgorica was uneventful.  Arriving in Podgorica at 10:pm tired and feeling terribly dirty, I was unsurprised to find my luggage did not make it with me.  Because of some wise advice I had an extra set of clothing in my carryon, but it would have been really nice to be able to shave and apply some aftershave.  What I did not know that night was that my luggage would arrive at the airport the day before I was leaving.

More later... For now one day at a time with a small attempt to head off some questions.

She lives in a small city in Russia.  She grew up in one of the stans, moved to Ukraine as a teenager, met her ex husband and moved about in Russia with him.  Her family, mother and brother, is still in Ukraine.  Her daughter is away at college.  Our next visit is a trip for me to meet her family in Ukraine.  I will get to experience some winter weather in dnepropetrovsk!  Probably for or right around New Years.

[lordtiberius]

Glad to see you are traveling

[Hammer2722]

Make sure you take some warm clothes and a good pair of waterproof winter shoes. The streets and sidewalks can be pretty bad with slush and snow in Winter. Good luck!

[Shadow]

Item number one.  The biggest mistake I made was waiting too long for the second trip.  In April I went to meet her for the first time.  In the interim I nearly ruined the relationship.  To keep the flame burning, visiting is necessary.  So go to see her. See her as often as you can. 

Very solid advice. Where and how you travel is your decision, but meet each other as often as possible if you wish a relationship and not a friendship with benefits.

[Pkeel1]

Mendeleyev do not read this part.

Day One: this morning we got up and I have to say I felt pretty miserable.  No toothpaste, no shaving, and I had to wear the underwear I slept in.   First order of business was to get some Euros and buy some supplies.

In Petrovacs there are no places to convert dollars into Euros and it was Sunday so the banks were not open either.  We were informed at the desk that there were no clothing stores in Petrovac either.  We left to see if we could find a shop that would take dollars.  We found a place that sold shorts and swim suits, but no "real" clothes.  None of the shops here took dollars.  I did not find a place in Domodedovo to get Euros and my layover in Frankfurt did not allow me enough time when I was there.  I learned my lesson, I will be sure to have the time next trip.  No underwear!  Walking around we did find a bank with an ATM and I was able to get some Euros. 

We returned to the shop that had some shorts aNd I purchased some of the worst shorts I have ever owned.  I also got a set of flip flop sandals.  Mendeleyev, I am sorry to tell you that I spent the entire trip drastically under dressed.  I have an excuse, I never did get my luggage, but at all times on this trip I felt badly underdressed.  She never once said a word about it.  In fact she dressed down to match me and mostly on our trip she was in jeans or denim skirt. 

Once we had some spendable money we went to the local grocery store and I got tooth brush razor etc.  al the things I needed to start to feel a little human.  We returned to the hotel room and I got myself cleaned up.  At this point I felt a great deal better. 

This day we did not do very much.  We walked all over town, me in my shorts and flip flops.  Those things are the worst shoe I have ever worn.  At the end of the first day I had some serious blisters on my feet and by the end of the week I had very bad sores.  Luckily she had some band aids in her luggage and this made a big difference in my comfort.  (I had some too, in my shaving kit in my luggage).

We were on vacation and lost luggage was something I knew could happen, so I did not allow it to bother me.  It is one of the things that you list as a worse case and deal with when it happens.  Make up your mind before you go... Make the decision to enjoy all parts of the trip, sure it would have been better to have my luggage, but why let it stop you from enjoying yourself?  Roll with the punches, be flexible, and these things become fodder for great stories later.

We went around town and we took pictures of each other.  There were some really pretty spots there.  Montenegro is all mountains and ocean.  It is fabulously beautiful in the background of our pictures.  There are a couple of businesses that offer glass bottom night time boat rides.  We returned to the hotel for dinner, it was supposed to be included in the fee, but they said my room did not qualify.  I had to argue and show the clerk the email where they told me it was included.  Eventually they did agree that our dinners were included, but I was not pleased to have to argue for it over two days.  But if they never did agree, the pizza in town was very cheap, and the best pizza I have ever had in my life.  I may have to go back just for pizza, it is that good.

We returned to the boat for a ride.  It was fun but not as much as I had hoped.  If you go it is inexpensive enough to go, just don't expect great things.  That night we spent some time cuddling on the beach in the dark.  It was very romantic and something we did several nights.  This is why I say you have to go and visit, when your lady is warm and in your arms, this is the time that keeps you alive when all you can do is Skype. 

Another note... Even during the times we were both exasperated with each other, we continued daily with Skype and emails.  This is a part of why I am hopeful about our relationship, communication is important and if either of us had pulled away this would have ended, neither of us pulled away.  We continued to discuss and talk.  Another thing and I don't know if it is culture or my lady, but once an issue is over, it is over, not to be brought up again.  Not something I am accustomed to.

Back to the hotel room and our first good nights sleep.  Me with clean teeth, Hooray!

[SANDRO43]

Montenegro is all mountains and ocean.

Your being thoroughly upset by your luggage travelling by itself around Europe is evidenced by imagining the Adriatic Sea to be far larger than it actually is .

[mendeleyev]

Mendeleyev, I am sorry to tell you that I spent the entire trip drastically under dressed.  I have an excuse, I never did get my luggage

It is probably good that you didn't walk about naked under the circumstances. You improvised and did okay.   

[Pkeel1]

Winter in dnepropetrovsk won't be greatly different than what I experience here in the northeast.



Our plan for this day was set for a shopping trip to Podgorica.  There is a mall that she found online.  Delta City in Podgorica.  It was ok, I don't know what is available for her in Russia, but this is a small shopping mall.

Her birthday was a week after our trip, mine was a week before, we split the difference to be with each other. My plan was to buy for her a nice dress something special and pretty.  Instead she asked if would get her a new winter coat. 

The biggest question we had was how to get to Podgorica.  At the hotel the fee was 80 Euros, they asked a cab and the ride was 30 Euros each way plus 10 euros each hour for waiting.  I had noticed one of the excursion companies offered shopping trips.  We sought that out and they had nothing available but recommended taking a cab to a nearby town and taking a bus from there.  We found a guy offering car rentals and driving services.

He spoke no English, so she was in charge on this one.  She talked him down from 25 Euros to 20 Euros for the ride.  She also asked him about the cost to go to Podgorica.  That was 80 Euros for ride and wait.  She decided we would stick with the nearby town.  The driver continually tried to talk her into a drive to Podgorica.  He even stopped the car at one point to try to talk her into it.  On the way to Bhudva, we ran into some traffic, while sitting and waiting in traffic, she talked the driver into 60 Euros for the entire trip.

On the way we stopped in at the airport and no luggage.

We also decided to try to buy some clothes for me.  We went to almost every shop with men's clothing.  I tried on quite a few pairs of pants.  It has been a long time since I have purchased a pair of pants that need the length hemmed.  A really long time!  Most of the pants did not fit right, mostly the calf or the thigh was too tight.  But there were a couple that did fit.  We bought the pair that was the least expensive.  She had a needle and kit to hem them with, but we never found the right color thread! 

It was now time to find a winter coat.  Once again we went into almost every woman's shop.  We were able to find three coats that were acceptable.  One of them was clearly the best, it was also a good deal more expensive than the others.  She asked me which I liked the best, it was obvious she was letting me decide.  So I did.

While at the mall we decided to eat at the food court.  I had read online that while in Montenegro we should try a pizza.  It is influenced by the cuisine of its neighbor over the Adriatic SEA .  We ordered a vegetarian pizza and it was exceptional.  Really and truly the best pizza I have ever had.  From this day on, every day for lunch we had pizza. One day even skipping two places because they did not have pizza!  If I ever do return to Montenegro, a big part of the reason will be the pizza!  It is light with a thin crust that is very crispy, there was no big edge to the crust.  The vegetables were shaved thin and fresh, the cheese was incredible and the sauce complimented it the best. 

I think it may have been the first day we were there that we went to the outdoor market in town.  There were all different types of things available, but the farmers produce was the most interesting to me.  We had one man give us two types of fresh cheese he had, awesome!  There was also one man there with locally pressed olive oil.  I wanted to get some, but had no way to get it home.  There was all sorts of fresh vegetables and fruit.  She had a fig for the first time and we bought some for later.  There were fresh tomatoes, watermelon, eggplants, potatoes onions, all sorts of really very good looking food.  In town we had noticed some pomegranates growing in trees and in another area there were some olive trees.

I am a beekeeper and of course I noticed the local honey, I would have bought some, but I had no way to get it home.  On the drive to Delta City I had noticed in a couple of places that people had bees in their fields.

After we went back to the car, we found out why the driver was pushing for a trip to Podgorica.  He went shopping for sneakers for his daughter.  We returned to the hotel and another day was done.  When we got back from Podgorica, we were dropped off right at the hotel and the driver thanked us for the day.

We went for a walk downtown and signed up to take a boat trip to four other towns for the next day.  A part of it was going to be the opportunity to swim in the Blue Caves.  But that is for tomorrow.

By the way, this trip was all about us connecting.  The entire time together we had fun, we held hands, we spoke and shared.  Neither of us knew much of the others language, I had a pocket translator and used an online program when at the hotel with wireless.  Much of our discussions were in broken Russian and broken English.  We were very able to get our thoughts expressed.  Much of it was in the simple and easy acts of things you do for somebody you care about.  The entire time I was with her, I was certain she had picked me as hers.  Even today I had a few minutes where I wondered.

For me this is the hardest part of dating a woman in Russia, the distance allows for too much to get in the way.  This is why I started with the admonition to travel.  Keep the flame alive go to visit.  Skype and email are good, but NOTHING is the same as time with the lady.  Before this trip report is done I will relate what I force myself to remember now when I start wondering.  It is something that can only happen in person and is not what you are thinking!

[Pkeel1]

Boat Trip:

We walked all over town every day of our trip.  We went to the grocery store every day.  One of the best parts of the trip was one day as we were leaving it began to rain.  There was a large group of customers that stood at the front of the store and waited for it to let up or stop.  It got difficult for people to get in or out as the amount of people continued to collect.  There was a lull in the rain and we left to get back to the hotel.  It is only a short walk, five minutes tops, but we were barely gone and it began to rain again.  So She decided to run.  We ran down the road holding hands.  I had to stop to take my flip flops off and she removed her sandals.

When we got back to the hotel we went in to the spa and scheduled some workouts and a massage for the next day.

On our walks through town there were people handing out flyers for trips, there were store fronts offering trip services and we stopped to talk to one of them.  The boat trip we saw advertised was a bus ride to one town and then a boat to three more and a bus ride back.  I don't remember all the names of the towns, but the first place and the town we left from was Budva.

The boat was full, there were a good deal of families on this trip.  Several moms and dads with young children.  Some Babushkas, Deds and their children and grandchildren.  One thing I think is true of the people I have seen is that parents are much younger.  It is possible that some of why I think it seems that Russians are thinner is that the women with little children are younger and maybe they have an easier time of losing the weight gained during pregnancy.  I am not sure, I just know my wife never returned to her pre-pregnancy weight.

This area is delightfully beautiful.  On the boat you have a good chance to see the mountains and the small seaside towns.  The only part of Montenegro I saw was Mountains with slopes right down into the sea.  We took a few pictures on our way to the first town.  The first town we visited was Herceg Novi.  We had an hour to get out and explore.  There were many, many steps on our way up into this town.  It was fun to take each other's picture here.  There is a good deal of old buildings and interesting architecture to look at.  Some shops, some restaurants and what excited her the most... A banana tree with some blossoming bananas!

On our way about this town we posed near a lot of interesting things.  Churches, what seemed to be an ancient amphitheater but for all I know was built recently.  At one point there was a spot with a path over the street.  She went up and posed there for me to take some pictures of her and after I went up to have my picture taken.  She loves flowers and poses with almost every flower we find.  There was one rose on a plant and I was teasing her a little and posed with it.  After she took my picture I pinched it off the bush.  Her face and expression when I did this was priceless!  A touch of shock, surprise and delight!  Later that night I laughed as I told her I loved the way she looked when I stole the rose.  She told me she didn't think Americans knew how to do such a thing!

We were back early for the boat and stopped for an ice cream on a stick and sat at the bay watching and eating.

Our next stop on the boat ride was to the place where we could swim in the Blue Caves either that or an island with a church.  The church was interesting, but not too much going on there.  On our way there we found out the Blue Caves were off limits as the weather was too rough to get inside with a boat.  We would instead go for a swim at a nice little place with some of the cleanest clearest water I have ever seen.

She loves to swim, she goes almost every weekend during the winter to a pool and over the summer she swims in the local lake.  She also looks amazing in a bikini.

We went for a swim, the beach is small stones and they were very difficult to walk on.  Twisted ankles every step.  After the swim we went up to one of the restaurants for lunch.  She loves seafood and ordered a mixed seafood and tomato dish served with rice.  I ordered a shrimp and spaghetti dish.  Mine was awful, I have and will not ever understand why people will cook shrimp without taking the shell off?  Well my shrimp had the heads and shells still on.  It ruins the flavor of the shrimp if you don't remove them and the work to remove them ruins the peaceful nature of dining.  I misjudged the time on this one, badly.

I thought we had until a certain time to get back to the boat, and it was rapidly approaching.  I urged her to eat quickly and she would not be rushed.  Between the two of us, we managed to be leaving the restaurant and looked up to see the boat leaving the dock!  I was sure we were bound for an expensive taxi ride back either home or to the next town on the ride, but we ran to the dock and were more than just late.  Another boat was there and as we arrived the captain called and our boat stopped out in the bay.  We hopped up on the front of the boat.  I offered to pay, but was waved off by the helper. Instead I remembered that we had packed some chocolate bars for the day, a couple of Hershey's and some sort of peanut and chocolate bar from Russia.

We were taken out to the other boat and I gave the boat helper the Hershey bar as I jumped off.  At first he thought I was offering to pay, but when he saw it was a chocolate bar he seemed to be ok with it.

I am probably typical as I would much prefer to help somebody out and refuse to accept payment, than I am to accept help.  I was pleased by these men and their eagerness to give us a hand.  I read often about people not finding help or finding other people to be difficult or obstinate, but in my experience people have been very friendly and very helpful.  Even the hotel people with the difficulty in getting the meals included, they were never rude, never anything but polite and in the end everything worked out fine.

Like I said either the next stop or the one before this was a church built on an island.  It took the villagers some 200 years to build the island and the church and some day maybe I will find it online and read about it, but the visit there was short.  This church has had many donations to it of silver and other items.  We walked throughout the museum and it was interesting, but not much to write about.

The last stop was at the town of Kotor.  This place was very interesting, the old town section is the only place in Montenegro that is listed as a historical site by Unesco.  I can see why.  It was amazing.  Small narrow streets paved with cobblestones that are now polished until they shine.  We wandered about this town and took many pictures.  It is surrounded by a stone wall that goes up and over the very steep hill behind this city.

It was estimated to have been built sometime around 100 BC.  In the bay of this town was a large cruise ship.  There were a great deal of people shopping and looking around.  I liked this town a lot, it was interesting, and boy does it put the history around New England to shame for age!

After the trip to Kotor was the bus ride back to Petrovacs.

That night we ate again at the hotel, this is something I will have to think about.  I know it was included in the price of the room, but the meals were the same every night and I would not have minded going out and about and finding something different in town.  I love to experience the different cuisine and unpeeled shrimp or not, I am open to trying new stuff.  I think in her mind dinner was paid for, so we would naturally be eating there.  Why pay to eat somewhere else?

Any future trips we will have to be a little more adventurous in our dining.  Although, at the dinner there was a tray of cold cuts.  Things I could recognize as being ham (maybe a capicola) a salami and some cheeses.  The first times I noticed them they looked as though they had been left out for quite some time.  This meal, though I decided to give them a try.  I am glad I did, they were delicious.  The salami was much better than anything I have ever eaten that was called salami.

That night at dinner I asked her to marry me.

Next report and I apologize for the time between these, funny how life gets in the way sometimes, will be the day of spa treatment and then our final day in Petrovacs.

[Pkeel1]

Spa treatment:

She signed up for a body peel and massage.  The lady behind the counter convinced her to buy a package that included a workout with the personal trainer.  I signed up for a workout and a massage.

We went down together so I could watch her workout.  Her peel was immediately after the workout and then the massage.  We headed into the spa and went over to the exercise room.  Here the attractive and fit Olga put Her through a very hard workout.  For one hour I got to watch as two beautiful ladies worked and got all sweaty.  Olga was clearly not wearing a bra!  I was good, when she was bent over and her loose shirt exposed her, I looked away.  It was hard to do but I managed!

After the exercise my lady had me feel her back and she was wet and sweaty all over.  She told me later she was very tired from the exercise.  She headed off for her peel and I went back to the room.  I got online with a friend from Kaliningrad, a very nice lady, and I asked her some questions.  I was lucky as she was able to tell me what I needed to do.  I found out where the apoteka was and ran out to buy some supplies.  Not having my complete luggage with me was inconvenient.

Then I went down for my workout with Olga.  She began talking to me in Russian and I had to ask her if she spoke English.  She did, but not as well as she spoke Russian.  Let me tell you, she really put me through my paces.  I did a whole ton of weight lifting at a speed that puts aerobic exercise to shame.  At the end of it all, she told me I had done very well.  Ochen Khorosho!  And lucky for me my lady was there for the end of the workout and heard Olga say so.  Oh one other thing, Olga told me I tensed my neck too much when I was doing the exercises.  She said "You are very pretty, but when your neck goes like this (here she tensed her neck) I am afraid and think I should run away."

After my workout I went in for the massage.  It was the first I ever had, and really it did not seem all that wonderful to me.  I don't know, maybe I will try it again, but I was not impressed.

For what was left of the afternoon we spent most of our time in the room.  We did go to the Hotel dining room for dinner and for the first time I decided to try the salami's on a platter.  They looked like they had been left out for a long time so I had not tried them before, but this time I was bored with the other items.  It was incredible!  Truly delicious.  I was sorry I hadn't braved them before.

My lady is in the habit of going for a walk every day.  Most nights we did after dinner.  This night was no different.  This is a habit I could easily get used to.  Walking along holding a beautiful ladies hand is a wonderful way to end an evening.  We were leaving the next day, so when we returned we needed to pack.  At the hotel they informed me my luggage was at the airport.  Just in time for me to get it on the way home.

She did some serious packing... I was impressed with what she was able to secrete into her bags.  When she was completely packed there was not any room for anything extra for sure.

Early next morning we took some photos of the hotel and headed off for the airport.  I got my luggage and luckily I almost always bring some kind of carrying bag to give as a gift for my lady.  So all of my gifts wound up in the two bags I brought for her.  I had two jars of honey and some maple syrup in there.  I was afraid security was not going to allow them through, but she put them through the x-ray and nobody said anything.  The only problem we had was getting me through security.  I was flying in transit through Domodedovo and even here in the US they were not sure I wasn't going to simply be sent back.  But we made it through got on the plane and it was a short flight to Moscow.

In Moscow is where I had the first moment where I really understood what I mean to my lady.  She had to go straight through the local lines and I had to go to the Transit area.  We stopped to say good-bye.  This is one time that she seems to overcome the shyness about PDA.  We had a good long tight hug and kiss.  When I pulled away, her whole body was shaking, she threw her arms down and I looked at her and she broke down into some serious tears.  It truly broke my heart.  I was so sad to see her distraught.  I did what I could, but this airport is far too small for the number of people that fly through it and we were constantly being jumbled by other travelers.  I headed upstairs for the Transit area and she for local.

Now this is where I ran into some people that are probably what gives traveling Americans a bad name.  In the Transit area were two men complaining in English about how they had been treated by the counter clerks.  Granted the clerks were Russian and there was no happy chit chat about your trip, no well wishing, just the typical Russian method.  You know direct and on subject.  I thought the pretty blonde lady behind the counter was quite nice, but both of these men were convinced the clerks did not like them because they were American.  I told them I thought the clerks treated me very well.  I don't understand how you can think something like a clerk asking for your passport and ticket information is rude.  She is doing her job and the whole time I was at the counter she was smiling.

That is about it for this trip.  I had a 16 hour layover in Domodedovo.  Not something I would recommend to anyone.  It really is not a very large airport at least not in the international section.  I did get plenty of exercise as I walked all floors and stairs at least twice an hour.  It was good exercise.  Oh, my luggage made its way to the USA no problem.  My lady told me after that she told the baggage people in the pickup area which one was my bag and to make sure it got transferred for me.

Gifts my lady gave me were the following:  T-shirts with Sochi on them, One for me and both of my children,  A picture of Balaclava in a frame, and she had a 2014 Calendar made with her picture on it. 

We are preparing for filing the K1.  We had to cancel the trip to see her family in January.  Her mother is a nurse and was exposed to something and could not have visitors and that was the main reason for the trip.  We will do it in the spring instead.  I am going to insist on going to her home city and travel with her to see her mother this time.  She does live in a small city and I think she is worried about what it will be like when people find out a foreigner is there.  But if I am only there for one or two days it should not be too big a problem.  In her city she does not have any family, she is there because she was moved there with her ex husband.  There is very little of significance in the city, but I want to see her apartment and her city, so I will insist.

It may be much more difficult to plan this trip.  In the spring I have a daughter graduating from college and a son graduating from High School.  I will be plenty busy with that as well.

[Gator]

Pkel,

Good report.  Thanks for sharing.  You make some interesting observations about Eastern European life.  I don't recall anyone reporting a trip to the Balkans. 

You did this trip in the Fall when you became engaged to marry.  You stated that you were preparing a K1 petition.  You now report the last segment of the Fall trip and say the third trip in January was cancelled.  So what is the status of your K1?

[Pkeel1]

I am in the process of organizing the paperwork.  We were going to work on it together when we met, but now it is emailing questions back and forth.  It is making it slower to do, plus this is my busiest season for work and I have much less time to work on it.

What I need to do is figure out the list of documents she will need to get apostilled.  Then she will have to find someone to do so.  I don't think it will be that difficult and in the worst case she will have to mail it to me to have me get it done.

[Wayne]

Check the instructions carefully. For a K-1 visa, you don't need to have documents apostilled nor notarized. Also, check what is says about translations. You will pay a lot if you have all documents officially translated, notarized, certified and apostilled.

[Gator]

Pkeel1,

Wayne is correct based on my experience years ago.

Translation of documents is necessary, and the translation only need to be certified (not apostilled).  If your woman is competent in English, she can do the translations and certify them herself.


If you have not yet done so, please study  visajourney (the best free site for preparing immigration petitions):

 http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1guide

Age of child and custody documents are important!!!

[Drew]

Pkeel1,

Wayne is correct based on my experience years ago.

Translation of documents is necessary, and the translation only need to be certified (not apostilled).  If your woman is competent in English, she can do the translations and certify them herself.

An old thread here, but reminds me of odd situation which seems to exist, at least if I understood correctly the words of some foreign students at my university.

As I understand it,  USA citizen going to Russia or Ukraine to get married needs all his documents apostilled.

But citizens from Russia or Ukraine coming to USA to get married do not have to have their documents apostilled.

Seems a little strange.