red flags

[jone]

Perhaps I am wrong, but I was thinking that listing "Christian" simply means she believes in God and practices only a few times per year. Listing "Orthodox" however, seems to me that she is more convinced of her faith path and roots.

When our daughters were dating, it seemed that was the case. If a young man made it to the courtship stage where he was frequenting our home for dinner and we at some point (when appropriate) asked that question, it seemed that the not-very-actively practicing guys mentioned "Christian" or "I believe in God" as opposed to those who seemed comfortable answering "Orthodox."

The eldest married an American who converted to Orthodoxy prior to their marriage, the middle daughter is comfortable with a "Christian" partner, and the youngest married a boy who identified himself as Orthodox, but in reality struggles as to what he believes. Fortunately, he works with me and we have some interesting conversations about life and faith topics. He is extremely intelligent and I enjoy our interactions.

I'm just impressed as hell that you got them all with significant others that you appear to approved of.  Well done, Mendy!

[mendeleyev]

Thanks, Jone. We tried to raise them to fly on their own at some point. In reality, there is a danger of parents overly influencing such decisions, and especially in the Eastern part of the world. The overbearing approach rarely works well over the long term, so a parent must be careful not to overstep. That is most difficult, and we each make mistakes (well-meaning, but still mistakes) in the process.

Once the daughter or son has made up their mind, one must then work, within appropriate boundaries, to help the couple adjust and find their own success. That often includes the parents adjusting to the child's decision.

[jone]

Glad you didn't introduce them to any reprobates from this forum.  I would never allow my children to marry someone like me.

[Miquel Westano]

Paranoia will destroya.

I think I will use that one often.  I like it and it is a good thing to keep in mind.