Hello from East Tennessee

[Okie71]

Hello all. I've lurked for a few days, decided to sign up. I figure it would be best to get advice from those who have been there and done that, even if that advice is contradicted by others on here who have been there and done that.

My wife passed away about 5 years ago, and I have finally gotten to a point where moving on doesn't feel like cheating. I've had the pleasure of meeting a few FSU ladies in my day, one being a dear friend of my late wife. They have all been such great people, so that's where I've decided to look. I've already met a few possibilities who wouldn't mind the small town country life here, so I'm looking to visit in August to meet one or two and celebrate my birthday someplace new.

[msmob]

Welcome and Good luck!

Just be mindful that small town life is not what every city 'gal seeks ..

Not that it should matter

[BillyB]

Welcome to the forum Okie! Lots of good advice here and if you can't find what you're looking for, feel free to ask.

[Gator]

Okie.   

You seem well adjusted, an important factor in having a happy life with a RW. 

When you say "small town country life" can you be more specific?  There is a huge difference between Knoxville and Sweetwater.   

I was born in Tennessee and both of my parents were raised on Tennessee farms.   I  lived in Sevier County a long time ago.  I know RW fairly well from marriage and having dated maybe 20 or so RW. 

So I should be able to give you some help.  But first I would like to know the size of your hometown.  Also, how long will you be away from home each day because of work?

Again, thanks for posting and I hope your time here helps you understand these darling creatures.   

[LAman]

Hello all. I've lurked for a few days, decided to sign up. I figure it would be best to get advice from those who have been there and done that, even if that advice is contradicted by others on here who have been there and done that.

My wife passed away about 5 years ago, and I have finally gotten to a point where moving on doesn't feel like cheating. I've had the pleasure of meeting a few FSU ladies in my day, one being a dear friend of my late wife. They have all been such great people, so that's where I've decided to look. I've already met a few possibilities who wouldn't mind the small town country life here, so I'm looking to visit in August to meet one or two and celebrate my birthday someplace new.

Okie-Dokie )))

[Larry1]

Welcome to the forum, Okie. You can find a lot of useful information on the FSUW search here.

As Gator and moby mentioned above, many FSUW will not be happy living in a small town. I had a friend from Ukraine who moved to Athens, Tennessee to marry a guy. She hated the lifestyle. She was used to being able to regularly attend classical music concerts and similar things. A twice a year visit to the Knoxville Symphony wouldn't have cut it with her, even if her husband had volunteered to arrange it.

I know of another FSUW who moved to the environs of a major city and considers almost all of the United States to be "a village" (her words). A village is a place relatively few FSUW want to live in.

So if you plan to live out your life in your present location this is something that you should plan on discussing with any prospective Mrs. Okie.

Good luck in your search.

[Gator]

There are some RW who like dacha living, not just as a week-long holiday but as a  way of life.  Most such RW are too busy planting potatoes and canning tomatoes to spend much time on the Internet
.
One  RWD member described how his wife strapped on a .357 magnum for protection from grizzlies. 

Some RW will not complain about using an outdoor toilet or having to pee in the weeds.   

Nevertheless, shopping is important.    And there is the question of her making friends.

[Okie71]

Okie.   

You seem well adjusted, an important factor in having a happy life with a RW. 

When you say "small town country life" can you be more specific?  There is a huge difference between Knoxville and Sweetwater.   

I was born in Tennessee and both of my parents were raised on Tennessee farms.   I  lived in Sevier County a long time ago.  I know RW fairly well from marriage and having dated maybe 20 or so RW. 

So I should be able to give you some help.  But first I would like to know the size of your hometown.  Also, how long will you be away from home each day because of work?

Again, thanks for posting and I hope your time here helps you understand these darling creatures.   

I'm up in the Anderson County area, not far from Norris Lake. It's small, maybe around 2,000 people, and you definitely need a car to get around. I've run into the issue of not wanting a small town life with some ladies already, one after we started to really get interested in each other- and she had grown up in a village. So now I am sure to make it clear in our first chats where I live, why I live there, and why I won't live in a city again.

However, I also find those who are not fans of city life. They hate the crowds, the pollution, and the crime. I've started to make more connections, and judging what you can from body language and facial expressions on video chat, these ladies seem very interested in the type of life I have. There are also those who don't really care where they live, just as long as it's with a good man who will make them laugh and smile.

I'm also up front with the fact I work 8-12 hours a day, sometimes 7 days a week. But that I also get great benefits and 4 weeks vacation time. The hours have been a turn off to some, but others understand. So far, there are a couple great possibilities, but I will know better when I visit in August.

Any advice another Vol can give would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

[LAman]

I'm up in the Anderson County area, not far from Norris Lake. It's small, maybe around 2,000 people, and you definitely need a car to get around. I've run into the issue of not wanting a small town life with some ladies already, one after we started to really get interested in each other- and she had grown up in a village. So now I am sure to make it clear in our first chats where I live, why I live there, and why I won't live in a city again.

However, I also find those who are not fans of city life. They hate the crowds, the pollution, and the crime. I've started to make more connections, and judging what you can from body language and facial expressions on video chat, these ladies seem very interested in the type of life I have. There are also those who don't really care where they live, just as long as it's with a good man who will make them laugh and smile.

I'm also up front with the fact I work 8-12 hours a day, sometimes 7 days a week. But that I also get great benefits and 4 weeks vacation time. The hours have been a turn off to some, but others understand. So far, there are a couple great possibilities, but I will know better when I visit in August.

Any advice another Vol can give would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Ok...I will VOLunteer ))

There is a huge difference between living life and going through life. Words are just words until you actually live the life. You may get lucky.... but more likely you go through one or two and just give up.

As long as you got the drive go for it.......just not sure how with 4 weeks per, you get to know someone very well. Good luck!!!

[Gator]

2000 people - that is small.  However, Knoxville is not far away.  Does Oak Ridge still have a semblance of a professional community?

The problem is you work most of the day, sometimes 7 days per week.  My wife knows one RW who tried that lifestyle here in America.  Her acquaintance grew weary of looking at squirrels and moved back to Russia. 

Your goal is not impossible.  You have a fighting chance if children were involved and she had hobbies that could be enjoyed in your village.   


I knew such small towns from my youth - Erin and Dover west of Nashville but those counties were smaller than Anderson.  I was a young lad but found life boring other than fishing, hunting, and looking for Civil War relics in the old trenches.   

[BillyB]

There are some RW who like dacha living, not just as a week-long holiday but as a  way of life. 

I live on a few acres of land surrounded by forest. My wife likes this kind of life. She doesn't want to live in a concrete and steel jungle.

 
Nevertheless, shopping is important.  And there is the question of her making friends.

My wife likes shopping and being close to Seattle helps. Lots of FSU people around the Seattle area for friends. At first she didn't want to make friends with FSU people. She had an American friend but later learned she does drugs and has an anger management problem. Her FSU friends she met at college are more mature and seem to have their act together.

Any advice another Vol can give would be appreciated.

My dad was born in Trinity, Tennessee. I'm not a 100% Vol but it's safe to say my advice is better than those who are not Vols. Write to women from small towns in the FSU. They are less likely to go through culture shock should they marry you. Be honest early about where you live and your lifestyle with the ladies you write so they can determine if there is a future with you. Failure to disclose things may lead to disaster and wasted time.

[Anotherkiwi]

I'm also up front with the fact I work 8-12 hours a day, sometimes 7 days a week. But that I also get great benefits and 4 weeks vacation time. The hours have been a turn off to some, but others understand. So far, there are a couple great possibilities, but I will know better when I visit in August.

 , Okie!  May you find what you seek, both on this forum and in life in general.

I can't comment on the specifics of country v city life - although I've done both, my country living was all before the age of 5.  However, I was wondering about the 4 weeks vacation time.  I understand that's more than most people get in the USA, but nearly everyone in Europe gets 5-6 weeks a year, plus umpteen public holidays (and Saints' days as well in the Catholic countries).  Most also work a heck of a lot less time - 35-38 hours per week in some countries.  Both of those scenarios are likely to seem preferable to an FSU woman looking westward for a possible husband, and wanting to spend as much time as possible with him while she finds her feet in her new country, rather than a guy who works an average of 50(?) hours a week.  Also, of course, Europe is far closer to her original home, so she can get back there much more easily (and more often) to see family and friends.

Is some of your vacation time a trade-off for working such long hours?  Also, without wishing to curb your enthusiasm, most people (on this forum at least) who have eventually returned with FSU wives/fiancées will recommend that you try to meet your prospective partners within three months of first contact.  Of course it's not a hard and fast rule, but one to bear in mind.  Although I obviously don't know what the outcome would have been, I lost out in two cases for that very reason.  If it's six months before you can travel, most women simply won't have the patience to wait - especially if they're receiving calls and emails from other potential suitors.

[ML]

There are also those who don't really care where they live . . .

I would advise to not believe this.

It sounds very honorable, and the women probably even believe it when they say it.

But over time, their mind-set will return to their preferred lifestyle and they will become unhappy.

It is similar to the younger, childless women who say they are OK with having no children.  That resolve wears off over time and they will resent and/or leave the man who does not agree to having children.