Disko club Bolero in Kharkov....

[Thor]

I just come home from club Bolero in Kharkov. I went there with my Canadian friend Douglas and my Australian friend Gary. We all agree that Bolero must be the best discko in the world. So many amazing girls...Yes I have my fiance Ren, but I can look but never tuch other girls of course:)). We saw so many girls and my friend Gary said if one of these 50 girls had been in Australia 50 men would have chased this girl. In Bolero tonigth 70% girls and 30% men..). Just woem paradise. My friends says that peoples back home never will belive them when they speak about this nigthclub. They have been at Bolero maybe 4 or 5 times now, and tonigth they brougth their cameras to take some photos. We approached several girls and we where quit succesfull tonigth:)). Bolero is just women paradise...).

[RK]

Hi Thor...I agree Bolero is a great club, and it too is my favorite, but I think the ratios you describe vary week to week. I was there two weeks ago tonight on a Saturday and the ratio was about 50/50. Sunday nights, which have traditionally been about 80% women/20% men have been about 50/50 also, although some nights it is in the range you describe, as it was for you tonight. I have always had good luck there, but it is usually a lot of girls just looking for a good time. And a good time I have had! However, on average, I don't know that one will have much success there if looking for a future partner. A good friend of mine that I met up with there, who has been coming to Kharkov twice a year for the past three years, has observed a noticeable shift in more local men coming to the club the past year, which is probably a result of them earning more money and slight changes in the economy and their outlook. As you said in an earlier post, the girls don't seem to be as serious about leaving there anymore. But getting back to your subject, I love that club! Say hi to Sergey, the administrator, for me...he always gives us VIP treatment!

[Thor]

Hi RK. I agree with everything you are writing. Bolereo is not a place to look for a future wife:)), but it is a super place to go and have fun. And you are also rigth about that sunday are the best evenings at Bolero. My friends told me that last sunday it was nearby 80% girls there.  Yesterday maybe I was wrong about 70% girls, maybe more like 55-60%. Yeah Sergey is great, always gives us VIP treatment. Give him some gryvnas and he is always there for you. But yes the economical situation is improving and I guess that gives younger and local men a opportunity to go to Bolero. When will you be in Kharkov again?

[Michelangelo]

Hey Thor,

You are right...Bolero is amazing!  I went there a couple of nights on my first trip to Kharkov (back in my single days).  I loved watching the hot girls dance with each other.

And lots of girls approached me, recognizing I was a foreign man.  Not professional prostitutes, either 

But I would not have picked any of those crazy girls to have a serious relationship with.

I'm glad those "searching" days are over for me :-) I think you would agree for yourself, too.

Congrats on your wedding!

[IAmZon]

Interesting nuance ...

Why would the girls at the club not be good candidates for marriage?

I presume these are girls that are 22 - 30?  Not on drugs, not hookers?  These are just girls having fun?

Why would such behavior take them out of the running?  I think most girls who can, do the same in the West (not ALL the time, but within reason).

Then, what do the REALLY eligible ladies, who are not in a relationship do on the week end?  If a woman is a 10, smart, not married .... I doubt she is just waiting on the sofa?

[IAmZon]

Also -

I presume from reading past posts, that in the past a foreigner received positive attention because he was a foreigner - and probably wealthy by Russian standards?  I see now that this seems to be less the case.

For today, when you are seen as a foreigner do you receive positive attention because  you  are a welcomed tourist?  Positive attention because you are fresh meat about to be fleeced out of your money?  Negative attention for any established stereotype? 

Is there ever just a normal playing field, as if a American man visits Switzerland?

[Michelangelo]

Riv:  Young girls at discos like to party.  If you like to party every night unitl 4 a.m. or so, then maybe such a girl is for you.  But not for me 

Although there has been a decline in parts of Europe the past 4 years, I still find a great reception for Americans in most countries of the world.

They smile and say "american!" and give me a thumbs up sign :-))

[Turboguy]

I think what they meant when they said it is not a good way to meet women for marriage is that probably 75% are not at a point in their life where they are looking for marriage and some may have boyfriends and be having a girls night out.   Of the ones that might want a husband perhaps 9 out of 10 would not want a foreign one.

If my estimated numbers are close then maybe 2 or 3 out of a hundred might be cantidates.  Not good odds.

[Thor]

I think that very few of the girls at Bolero are looking for a forreign man, but of course she can fell in love with a forreign man anyway. Some girls are afraid of speaking to forreign men at diskos because she is afraid that her friends will think that she is a slut..Some peoples here belive that girls that are with forreign men are just sluts (my girlfriend tells me this).

[IAmZon]

Some girls are afraid of speaking to forreign men at diskos because she is afraid that her friends will think that she is a slut..

I WOULD SAY THT IS PRETTY FCUKING NEGATIVE!

And so, out of 100 normal ladies between the ages of 22 - 30, on 3 are OPEN to the idea of becoming serious with a foreigner?  Or more specifically moving away from their home, friends, and family?

Can anyone else contribute thoughts as to the negative stereotypes that may exist?

[RK]

I would say their is validity in everyone's post to this thread.

"I presume from reading past posts, that in the past a foreigner received positive attention because he was a foreigner - and probably wealthy by Russian standards?  I see now that this seems to be less the case.

For today, when you are seen as a foreigner do you receive positive attention because  you  are a welcomed tourist?  Positive attention because you are fresh meat about to be fleeced out of your money?  Negative attention for any established stereotype?" 

Rivardco:  Yes to all of the above, IMO. Not so much negative attention based on a stereotype from my experience. I fully agree with what Mich says. As a full blooded, blonde hair, blue eyed poster board American having visited Eastern European countries a few times, I can say that 99.99999999% of the time my experience has been as Mich describes. I have interacted with students at an English language school in Kharkov and had extremely positive experiences talking about the US, Ukraine, and misperceptions. No matter where I have gone, I always show mutual respect and I get the same back. A popular question I always get is what I think of George Bush. He and our government are usually not talked about in a positive way, but as a country, people, and individual, I always find myself proud to be an American in Ukraine, and respectful and proud to be in their country as a visitor. I have met so many people in Bolero, male and female, that just wanted to talk or take a picture with me because I was from the US, as recent as three weeks ago. I was invited to drink vodka at birthday celebrations and a baby shower. I now have a few local acquaintances made with invitations to come to their homes for dinner and another for tea. Interestingly, I also have invitations for tea or coffee from people from Libya, Syria, and Iraq (those friendships I made at an internet cafe).

I think Turbo hits the nail on the head.

I will tell you that in Bolero, I have had conversations with jealous girls who were pointing out all of the girls there who have a reputation for using guys to buy them drinks, etc. And yes, I have met a couple who had serious potential, whereas a couple of years ago, my buddy who frequented Bolero always had good success. But as has been discussed, times are a bit different there now. I also share Thor's observations that many girls are looked at negatively by other girls because they do have a reputation for using foreigners. However, as we all know, there are some good ones there also. 

[Thor]

Hey Thor,

You are right...Bolero is amazing!  I went there a couple of nights on my first trip to Kharkov (back in my single days).  I loved watching the hot girls dance with each other.

And lots of girls approached me, recognizing I was a foreign man.  Not professional prostitutes, either 

But I would not have picked any of those crazy girls to have a serious relationship with.

I'm glad those "searching" days are over for me :-) I think you would agree for yourself, too.

Congrats on your wedding!

Hi Michelangelo,

I have often read your posts here at RWD, and your post are just great!! Thanks for your greeting regarding my wedding!!! Did you marry in Ukraine or in the US?

The girls at Bolero are not ready for serious relashionship, they are just party girls, and will be party girls for some years yet.. That is not to be negative it is just to be realistic. Like you Michelangelo have I been in Ukraine many times and now I really start to know what it is all about when it comes to Ukrainian girls. I have said before that many men believe that it is easy to find a girl here but it is not. To find a very beautiful girl is almost impossible, but to find a average girl is much more easy.

If you are lucky like you Michelangelo or like me, there is possible to find beautiful girls at the age of 30. This girls are not party girls anymore and are looking to settel down and have a family...I am very glad that I meet Rena. She is beautiful and have a good character. Girls in places like Bolero are mostly VERY young girls, family is not a option for them at this part in life. But you need to be there when this girls are close to 30. Then you must catch them. ...

[IAmZon]

Thor,

Sound like you have become a skilled hunter:)

So, to you the girls that are 28 - 29 are only at the beginning of eligibility?

I appreciate the fact that you have fresh experience and say it is almost impossible to find a VERY beautiful girl.  If I did not know anything more, this alone would grab my interest.  I am drawn to impossible situations- all the more so when a pretty lady is involved.

I commend you on your adventure.  Sorry, it is drawing to a close!  I would have liked to follow the story live, as it was happening.  But I do hope you enjoy the rewards of your effort ... the rewards of your investment ... the rewards of your risk.

[Zhena]

Sorry,guys,but you sound some funny...Is the girl at 28 too old to go to the disco? Personally I do and enjoy dancing. Which doesnt mean I am someone nonserious. Yes there are many teenagers there,so what? And yes I can stay late,though I am a homebody :)Dont be so boring

[Jet]

fiancee,
 You are certainly not too old to go to disco at 28, but I would guess that like most women over 26 years of age, disco is no longer the most important part of your daily life. This is the difference.

[Thor]

Thor,

Sound like you have become a skilled hunter:)

So, to you the girls that are 28 - 29 are only at the beginning of eligibility?

I appreciate the fact that you have fresh experience and say it is almost impossible to find a VERY beautiful girl.  If I did not know anything more, this alone would grab my interest.  I am drawn to impossible situations- all the more so when a pretty lady is involved.

I commend you on your adventure.  Sorry, it is drawing to a close!  I would have liked to follow the story live, as it was happening.  But I do hope you enjoy the rewards of your effort ... the rewards of your investment ... the rewards of your risk.

Yes I am happy for my effort. Dating in Ukraine is very exspenive of course, and I am lucky that I finaly found my princess. I have been many times in Ukraine and I have dated many girls here. But I early decided to wait for a very special girl and not settel down with a girl I did not realy like. It had to be a very special girl.

I am happy that you are drawn to very impossible situations. Then you will a chalange to meet and find a very beautiful girl, it is possible but it is hard work. You cant exspeckt to find your girl on your first trip. I meet my girl on my second trip but I have been speaken to many men that have been here 5,6 and more times. A good advise is to prepere well before you come here. Learn about the FSU culture, have a back plan, learn some basic Russian, plan what kind of girl you are looking for, never waist time with a girl you know is not your girl, this is hard work, but hard workers will be sucessfull in the end. I spend a lot of time to study Ukraine, the culture, Jack Bragg teached me about dating Ukr girl and so on. I was well prepered when I came here.

I meet a guy from Canada here in Kharkov. Very nice guy, but he had been told to not wear nice clothes, not to have a cell phone, bad shoes and so on. This because if he had nice clothes and peoples tougth he was a forreigner he could be robbed...Bull shit of course. A good advise to all men comming here in Ukraine to date Ukr girls is to always dress to impresse. Ukr girls are so into fashion, and they can tell if you wear bad clothes...

[Thor]

Sorry,guys,but you sound some funny...Is the girl at 28 too old to go to the disco? Personally I do and enjoy dancing. Which doesnt mean I am someone nonserious. Yes there are many teenagers there,so what? And yes I can stay late,though I am a homebody :)Dont be so boring

I am sorry but as far as I know so have no one said that a girl at 28 is to old to go to discko. I have just said that this teenage girls are not in a part in thir life where I think that marriage and children is what they want. For girls around 30 the situation is differendt..

[IAmZon]

Fiance - never to old to go dancing.

Thor - I will follow in your foot steps. 

I am comming to understand your comments regarding the impossibility of things.  I will continue to learn and prepare entirely.

... yet I AM WEARING a crocodile smile.  I intend to behave like an absolute gentleman, and be as persistent as required.  However, I do suspect this will be like shooting fish in a barrel:) 

The hard part will be to do as you have done:  know exactly what it is you are seeking, and to not waste time finding it.

Regards,

[Muj]

Thor, IMHO loud music and champagne interefere in any normal meetings at any disco anywhere.   So not a matter of quality people at the disco but rather not a good place for meeting.