Cold War Rhetoric

[Darth Vader]

My wife and I were discussing the growing protests about the war in Iraq.   I was giving her my best Civics 101 lecture about how great it is in America that people are free to protest, even though you hate their dove feathers....when she  laughed and  gave me an example....

Reagan was talking to Brezhnev, and told him about demoracy in America.... "Thousands of demonstrators can stand outside of the White House and scream 'Go to Hell, Reagan'!"

Brezhnev laughed, and said "then we also have democracy in the Soviet Union.  Thousands of demonstrators can stand on Red Square and yell 'Go to Hell, Reagan'!"     LOL

I had not heard this one 

Does anyone else have funny stories to share, from behind the Iron Curtain?

[Shadow]

During the Vietnam war an American pilot was shot down.
He was brought to a Vietcong prison camp and sentenced to death as spy.
When they asked him his last wish he said "I would like to know why the pilot that shot me down was complimented 'great shot Sergey' in Russian.

[Mir]

Two people working on the Danube Channel (La Canal).
-How long are you in for?
-Fifteen years.
-What did you do?
-Me? Nothing.
-Eh, you are kidding, everybody knows that for nothing one gets only ten years.


A British soldier, an American solider and a Russian soldier found themselves sharing a tent while on a military exercise, and the conversation turned towards how well fed each of them was.

"In the Russian army we have 2000 calories of food a day," said the Russian.

"Well," said the Englishman, "In the British army we are given 4000 calories of food a day."

"That's nothing," said the American, "in the US army we have 8000 calories of food a day!"

At this, the Russian got very annoyed and exclaimed, "Nonsense! How could one man eat so much cabbage?!"


The KGB, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

[Mir]

Communist Party worker: If you had two houses, wouldn't you share one with your poor comrades?
Muscovite: Yes of course.
CPW: And if you had two cars, you would share one with the State?
M: Certainly.
CPW: Good! And if you had two shirts, wouldn't you share one with your neighbour?
M: Nyet.
CPW: No? Why not?
M: I don't have two shirts.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A CIA spy is on his first day scouting Moscow. Fluent in Russian, he is confident of blending into the crowd. First, he stops at a corner store to get an apple. The lady there gives him a big smile, "Morning Mr American, how can I help you?" Shocked, he quietly buys an apple. Next stop, an old lady on a park bench. "Morning ma'am, can I have the time please?" "Sure, Mr American, it's 9.15." He's really worried. Is his disguise that thin? He meets a cop and asks directions. Having received the usual "Certainly Mr American, it's the third block on your left," he asks, "Excuse me, how do you know I'm from the US?" "That's easy," replies the policeman, "you're black."

[LEGAL]

'Comrades!' - Brezhnev addressed the people by radio. 'I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that for the next seven years we shall eat only sh*t! The good news is that it will be plentiful!"

Olga.

[Darth Vader]

Great laughs! :-)) Keep them coming... 

[acrzybear]

The main difference between the old Russia and the United States;

In the United States you can always find a party
In Russia the party will always find you