Negative Impressions at Home

[Kuna]

A bit of an update on my "friend" who made the snide remarks over dinner...

She called last night to apologise and ended up crying for over an hour while we talked.

Basically she admitted it was jealousy.  Not jealousy over me but jealousy over how happy I seemed to be, and the way I spoke about my girl.

My friend and I have never been a couple and never will be.. she knows that.  She's very attractive BUT she is typical of girls at home I wouldn't settle down with.  Too many emotional scars after too many short term "errors of judgement".

I'm surprised  that she is so opposed to my decision to look to Ukraine for someone to share my life with, but I'm comfortable with some people fading out of my life and some people coming into my life.

It may be the first of several of these "events", but I can't help people with narrow minds!

[jb]

Kuna,

Get confortable with many more such events in your life with a RW at your side.

[catzenmouse]

Kuna,

Get confortable with many more such events in your life with a RW at your side.

But you know what? I wouldn't trade a minute of time with Elena for any of those "friends". The "reward" (there's that troublesome word again!  ) is worth more than anything else in this world!

Ken

[Vaughn]

I'm comfortable with some people fading out of my life and some people coming into my life.

 That attitude is one of the keys to success with this endeavor, as
changes are inevitable. Nothing quite so stirs, weakens nor strengthens relationships among those left behind as in death
and marriage.

  It was noble of her to apologize. I'm guessing here, of course,
but it seems to me the "Ukrainian bride" is less the issue as your
commitment to another, period. I wish you well as all of your
family and friend relationships sort themselves out.

[KenC]

Kuna,
I have written many a post on this subject. #1 You do not owe an explanation to anyone.  Sometimes being vague is a good tact.  No one needs to know just how the two of you met and if you do happen to mention an agency, then all will consider your girl a tainted MOB.  If pressed I will say, "we met on the Net, like I met many other women here at home."  Other times I will say, "we met in Russia" and leave it at that.. Sometimes less is more.  Some people will be offensive, rude and prying with their questions no matter how polite you try to be.  One woman, a complete stranger asked Lena (in a grocery store) if she was a mail order bride!  Lena's answer was classic. She said, "no, why do you ask?  Were you a one?"
Ken

[Vaughn]

A classic comeback. I would have loved to have seen the
reaction...

[Kuna]

jb, Ken, Ken, Vaughn,

Thanks for the comments.  My family are fine in fact my mother wants to know if I am visiting her this weekend and whether we can phone Ms D again.  Mother speaks a little German and Ms D is fluent so they drop in and out of German and English.

I don't know if I mentioned it in here or in an email to someone but Ms D wanted my mothers home address and when we were talking the other day she said she is knitting something for her...  but it'll take a month to complete.  Sheeesh... I feel bad her spending a month knitting something for my mother but I think it's very sweet that she's trying to bond with my family.

As for friends I think it was DKMM that said the men approve and want to know more... Some have suggested inappropriat ehtings but boys will be boys... it's nothing offensive.  I've only really discussed Ms D with one of my female friends and you saw the reaction.  Should be interesting as the news spreads especially when Ms D comes for her holiday.

Anyway... we'll see.

Kuna

Oh Ken...  Classic response by Lena...  I love her attitude!

[catzenmouse]

Kuna,

 That is not uncommon that she is preparing gifts for your family. Elena sent several things for my mom while we were waiting for the K1 and brought others with her when she came.

 This is very much a two way street. When you have a Russian (Ukrainian, etc.) wife you get the family with it. She get's yours. It's a package deal. And for us, aside from a couple of aunt's who are a bit, shall we say odd, it is a wonderful addition and gift to your life.

Ken

[Kuna]

Ken,

Interesting comment about family and gifts...

My girl is going to Moscow on March 16 to celebrate her mothers birthday with her, and obviously I want to send a gift from Oz...

Do you think I should send gifts for her sister, brother-in-law and their children as well, or would it diminish the importance of her mother's birthday???

Of course my girl is making gifts for my family but I think the only thing I could make "with my own hands" would be a high level business strategy document or a business process re-engineering plan... Not sure that would have the same impact as something knitted...  ???

Seriously though...  do you think I should be sending gifts for all of the family or just focus on "future MIL" for now?

Cheers,

Kuna

[jb]

If I can chime in here, it would be entirely appropriate for you to give a birthday gift to Ms. D's mom.  However you are running out of time to ship it, have it crawl through customs, and make it to Moscow in time for the party.  You might be better off sending cash to Ms. D and ask her to buy something for mom, and present it in your name.

Gifts for the other family members would not be necessary at this time. IMHO

[catzenmouse]

Exactly what jb said. If you are sending a big gift to Mama it does not hurt to send a trinket to the other family members but it is not necessary.

Ken

[SANDRO43]

but I think the only thing I could make "with my own hands" would be a high level business strategy document or a business process re-engineering plan... Not sure that would have the same impact as something knitted...

Don't be too modest now, I seem to remember some pictorial activity from you, involving hands and after shave, wasn'it ?

[Jumper]

jb said

If I can chime in here, it would be entirely appropriate for you to give a birthday gift to Ms. D's mom.  However you are running out of time to ship it, have it crawl through customs, and make it to Moscow in time for the party.  You might be better off sending cash to Ms. D and ask her to buy something for mom, and present it in your ...

Kuna,jb makes a good point..

and one thing culturally is that presents or celebrations should be on that VERY day

i'm not sure how it is down under,,
but stateside it hasbecome more lax and people celebrat their birtdays sometimes before or after depending on convenience and scedule.,, they also think little of presenting a gift several days after your birthday if that a convenirent time..
( nothing wromng with that, i'm as guilty as the next persion)
noone here thinks poorly of the habit really, and its become common place.
we have the saying "better late, than never"

in the FSU it is poor manners and is certainly thought more than a bit odd if a gift is even a day late.. or a celebration is not done on the actual day..
its almost superstitious in nature, but also based in good manners?


 i think that is lossening a bit with westernization? ,
but for the most part it is mucxh moree strictly abided by.

and they are more likey think  that
a man needed his drink of water, before he died of thirst.

they have a saying , that applies to late gifts and such,,
i just cant remember it!

maybe one of the RW will chim in.
 
sorry to many words to simply say.

any gift wil be valued and considered very thoughtful..

but get the gift on time, or it is often viewed as a bit odd .