Gday All

[OzTraveler]

Gday all From Downunder

I have lurked around this board for a while and have decided to plunge in and join.  I had posted on that other board before under the same moniker and it seems most of the people that were around there have moved over here.

I started on this whole quest a few years ago and am one of those guys that went through one of those hellish experiences that ended up with her being taken out of my house by the police and being put on a plane back to Russia, after playing that fun game called 'duck the knives being thrown by the crazy Russian woman'.  I met her through an agency and to the agency's credit they spent about 18 months trying to get me away from her and avoid the train wreck that occurred.  I am generally a pretty intelligent person but well we can all be stupid at times.  I still don't know how much of a scam it was on her behalf or if I was just dealing with a very selfish, immature, whacked out women.  Anyway she is back on line with one of those sites that seems always to be reported for scamming and I will write a bit in the appropriate section about it all in case somebody else gets pulled into her world.

Anyway it is because of the trust I developed in the agency that I have gone back to them again to see if things can go better this time and make a better point of following their advice.   So I writting to some girls and enjoying the correspondence and will be getting on the plane in May to head back for a couple of weeks.

So all in all just here to say hello and look for the good advice that seems to lurk around the board as well.

Hope all is well with everybody.

Oz

[Kuna]

Maaaaaate,

Another Aussie!  Goodonya!   

Welcome to RWD.  You'll certainly find lots of good info here and direct responses to any questions you have.

You sound like you've had an "interesting experience" already so I'm sure you have some insights for us too!

All the best,

Kuna

[catzenmouse]

Oz,

 A little late to the dance but I'd like to add my Welcome! to you. Yes please, post your information regarding your ex. Always good for those searching to keep their eyes open.

 Where in Russia will you be going? Hope all works out well for you.

Ken

[Jazzyclassy]

Welcome Oz

have fun here and share your experience:)

am sure you will like it here


Jazzy shares her new box of korkunov choco sweets with newcomer Oz and pours him some great chineese handtwisted special green tea yammi yammi for him to feel at home:)

[I/O]

O/T  I caught sight or your intro a few days back but didn't ahve time to respond.  You'll find this a fairly informative board and quite a few here have been there done that successfully, so they are well worth listening too.

My only comment about your ex whacko is that you are bloody lucky with the way our laws are that it wasn't you the police tossed out of the house.  Sounds like you came through OK, some havn't.

There is no teacher like experience, but it is well worth your time to read through the FAQ section here. 

All the best.

I/O

[OzTraveler]

G'day Kuna

Nice to meet you.  Yep there does seem to be a lot of good information floating around here.  So trying to read again and get up to speed as much as possible before I head off on another adventure. 

As far as insights go i can probably give a good list of what not to do  .  I have been over to Russia to Tver three times, always to meet the same girl so my experiences are limited to that.  Nothing with her was ever easy and I spent two years making excuses for her behaviour and in the end it all blew up in my face in Oz when I realised she was just after holidays at my expense for her and her child.  But it is all one of life's experiences.

Anyway good to meet you.  If your from Sydney by any chance send me a PM.

Oz

Maaaaaate,

Another Aussie!  Goodonya!   

Welcome to RWD.  You'll certainly find lots of good info here and direct responses to any questions you have.

You sound like you've had an "interesting experience" already so I'm sure you have some insights for us too!

All the best,

Kuna

[OzTraveler]

Oz,

 A little late to the dance but I'd like to add my Welcome! to you. Yes please, post your information regarding your ex. Always good for those searching to keep their eyes open.

 Where in Russia will you be going? Hope all works out well for you.

Ken

Hi Ken

I remember you from RWG and remember you posted on a couple of my trip reports a couple of years ago.  But they are all gone now and it doesnt seem like the same place anymore.  Thanks for the welcome.

At the moment I am planning to head back to the scene of the crime so to speak, which is Tver and am working with LTP who tried to get me away from the train wreck when it happened last time.  They were always supportive but I must have driven every body there crazy when I kept charging down my own path even when they where trying to get me away from what was happening.

Oz

[OzTraveler]

Welcome Oz

have fun here and share your experience:)

am sure you will like it here


Jazzy shares her new box of korkunov choco sweets with newcomer Oz and pours him some great chineese handtwisted special green tea yammi yammi for him to feel at home:)

A Big Hello to Jazzy and thanks for the choccies and Green Tea.  I will start putting my story totegher for thos that want to read of my train wreck.  I dont know what lessons there are for people except dont be stupid and listen to people when they are trying to give you good advice  .  Of course being a male I can be pretty thick headed at times.

Again thanks for the welcome

Oz

[OzTraveler]

O/T  I caught sight or your intro a few days back but didn't ahve time to respond.  You'll find this a fairly informative board and quite a few here have been there done that successfully, so they are well worth listening too.

My only comment about your ex whacko is that you are bloody lucky with the way our laws are that it wasn't you the police tossed out of the house.  Sounds like you came through OK, some havn't.

There is no teacher like experience, but it is well worth your time to read through the FAQ section here. 

All the best.


I/O

GDay I/O

Thanks for the welcome.

mate with ex-wives and now this behind me I have had enough of experience and hope that things may work out better this year, but will wait and see.  I tend to say that every year and then find myself in some other mess to get myself out of  .

I was lucky in a number of ways.  firstly I could have ended up marrying her and having a miserable life that would have eventually ended worse then what it was.  She did try to pull the trick with the police saying that I had been keeping her prisoner and not letting her leave.  Fortunately the police (all four of them that were in my house) saw through it when they found my car keys (she couldn't drive but this didn't stop her from taking the car and using it and not returning the keys), the house keys (so often I was not even able to get into my own house), my bank and Key cards (which a quick called showed that she had been out on spending sprees and had access to whatever money she wanted).  She also admitted to them that she had full access to the phone and computer.  I had been asking her to go home for a couple of weeks when I realised it was going nowhere, but she wouldn't leave and I had made sure that a couple of close friends were aware of this and had also talked to her about it.

When the police first arrived (I was the one that called them as I was ducking flying knives, wine glasses, picture frames, etc) I was teated with the normal suspicion (one had his pepper spray out and the other had the batton out) as they came to talk to me as I was sitting on the balcony (she ran down the front playing her games when she saw they had arrived) so she had talked to them first.   But after the first round of talks they realised that she was talking rubbish.  They asked me what I wanted and I just said to get her and her child out of my house.  They talked to her and then made her pack her bags and they took her off.  The next day she was on a plane back to Tver and I haven't seen or heard from her since.

Anyway there is more to the whole story then this an this was the final chapter that brought two years of being lied to to a close.

Hope your well and if your in Sydney drop me a PM.

Oz

[I/O]

O/T Sounds like a bumpy ride.  I doubt we need to know all the gory details, but that's your call.  I don't get to Sydney that often now (2 or 3 times per year) but will indeed catch up if and when I'm there next. 

All the best.

I/O

[CaptB]

OzTraveler,

G'day and welcome. I think you and my brother should get together. His story will make you feel alot better about your negative experience. He met is (now ex) wife in Moldova. 41 y.o., never married, no children, attractive, educated.........and on good behavior until she landed in the states. Things were fine for a few months. The first red flag was that she showed little interest in attending ESL classes. She was a clothes designer/tailor.....and wanted her own business. My brother rented a small store front for her....sewing machine, equipment etc. But customers did not come flooding in......and of course......not wanting to learn English.......she could not communicate with them. She began to blame my brother for all of "her" troubles......and started to make his life.......a living hell. This is the "possitive" part of the story. The rest........I'll give the condensed version.........."all" details would take about fifty pages or so......of text.

After the "honeymoon" (described peviously).......things went downhill. Ultimately he left his house (17 years residence)......and moved into an appartment.......and proceeded with divorce actions. She sold all of his beautiful cabinets, home theater, stereo, tv's, furniture, books, cameras etc. etc. at a ...........garage sale..........for pennies on the dollar. My Brother figures for about 6% of actual value!!! He came back and put his antiques and few remaining possesions in the large garden shed in the back yard. She went to home depot explaining she lost the key (through a Russian girlfriend that spoke English) to the garden shed. The helpful store employee..........sold her bolt cutters. The rest of my brothers possesions.......sold at bargain basement prices. In particular......an antique collector was thrilled with buying a $5,000 antique chest..........for $25!!!!!!!!!!

To piss my Brother off......she turned on all lights, tvs, stereo etc. to run-up the electric bill...........to over $400 a month (normally about $60)........as my brother was still paying the utilities. He had her electric service.......disconected. She bought flashlights.....and oil lamps.
Being bored now.......and loving her "Home Depot".........she bought a 5 gallon bucket of spackling compound.......and proceeded to put it to good use. With her new "home" tool kit...........she proceeded to remove every cover to every electric outlet and light switch.......and pile in the spackling compound into every opening.....and re-affixing the covers. Whoops.........waste not.....want not...........what to do with half-bucket of spackling compound??????? There is no electricity.......so lets remove all of those "useless" light bulbs from all the light fixtures..........and fill in the sockets with........you guessed it.........spackling compound!!! Russian thrift.....at its best.

Pretty boring in a dark house. She never liked that ugly tree in the front yard......so maybe some yardwork to keep busy. She did not like those noisy, scary "gas" powered chainsaws.
But look!.........a neigher is using a wonderfully quiet......."electric" chainsaw. But.....alas....."no electricity". But she notices the next-door neighbor has those very handy outdoor electric outlets.....just like she has........but his "have" electricity..........yay!!!! He won't mind if I borrow the use.............of "his" outlet for awhile. So off the the "HD".......to purchase an electric chainsaw........and 2 100' extension cords. Within 20 minutes.......the tree comes crashing down.......just missing the house (whew!).............but alas.......not missing the overhead electric wires.....and transformer. No big deal.....she has not had electricity in several weeks......a 20 block portion of the city can do without.....for only.....one and one-half days.

The neighbor.......who she borrowed electricity from........was none too pleased........and told her so.  So she "home improved" his front picture window.......with ventilation.........from a big rock. Yes.......he chewed her out again. Apparently the "pesky" neighbor did'nt learn his lesson the first time. Now she decided to learn a new skill........auto body work. She broke the front windshield of his Lincoln Town Car.........and took a screwdriver from her trusty "home tool kit".......thinking it was a.................................."paint scraper"...........writing
dozens of 4 (or is it 5 or 6) letter words in "Cyrillic" alphabet.......letting the shiney silver of the metal body show through. Ah......now that pesky neighbor has learned his lesson. She does not have play "teacher" any longer in the neighborhood...........all the neighbors are completely affraid of her. Such a clever girl

She never cared for that "pesky" ex-wife......who her husband has remained friends with for many years. Maybe that "ex".......is the cause of all this poor little Moldovan woman. But she has heard that some of these Amerikansky women can be tough. So before she decides to break into the "ex's" house......she must arm herself.......with a large kitchen knife.........before going on a scouting mission.......for more garage sale items. America.......such a funny place! People actually driving to my house.....and paying me for crap........like that old antiquated chest!!!!! "I think I like the Amercan garage-sale custom"...........she says. So......armed with a large kitchen knife......she is off to the "ex's" house. She breaks in......confronts my brother's ex......who ultimately flees the house.......with her two children........and calls the police at a neighbor's house. The poor Moldovan woman is taken to jail........where she still resides..........since February, 2006. My
Brothers divorce took almost two years for the courtto finally make the final decree. After many psychological evaluations......it is most likely the "MW"...........will be deported.

And my brother? Well........he was just too freaked-out to ever move back into his house. After extensive repair and some renovation........he kept it.......but it is now.........a "rental".

As I said.......all the details could make at least a "novella". Makes "Birthday Girl".....staring Nicole Kidman.............a "feel-good" movie.........................


Capt B

[Kuna]

HOLY HELL!!!

Is there any checklist to avoid women like this???

I'm very comfortable with "my girl" but I bet guys ending up in situations like this were comfortable in the beginning too...

 

[CaptB]

Kuna,

No worries mate. My Brother's ex Moldovan wife...........is one in a million I think you will be fine. This was my Brother's "fifth" marriage. In having talks with him before he brought her to the US.........I told him I detected at least a few "dark pink" flags (if not fully "red").
Don't be affraid to discuss any....and all.....subjects with your prospective RW (UW in your case). I think too many guys are affraid to broach certain subjects for discussion.....thinking she may get upset......or be scared away. The nice thing about relationships with RW is that the expected roles of men and women seem to be much more defined......than say......here in the US. Womens lib has "fuzzied" the lines here in the last 40 years. RW expect you to be "the man"................and hopefully you have figured out what that is.What it is'nt.......is walking on "egg shells".......when it comes to certain subjects. Discuss everything........before she relocates. If you think you detect a "possible" red/pink flag........discuss it with her. If she goes off the deep end........then you have your answer.....and have been saved alot of grief. If she is logical and emotionally stable......and knows you care about getting a relationship "right"........there should be no problem in discussing...........any subject.

My Brother chose to ignore.........."flags". If there are any perceived "flags"............address these issues directly. And don't take offense...........if she also has some..........questions.


Capt B

[CaptB]

P.S. - Kuna,

I don't believe an RW just mysteriously turns into a "nightmare"........when she appeared to be OK in her home country. If you spend enough time getting to know her, her family, friends.......especially in her home town........and don't explain away every "flag" that shows itself........but address every one of them........chances are greatly reduced for such a thing to happen. Most of the guys here.....and on the other boards....."eventually" realized.......in hindsight.......there "were" flags.......they chose to ignore. If something does'nt quite fit.......check-it out.................make sure.
Same advice for the gals.......also.

Capt B

[I/O]

If you spend enough time getting to know her, her family, friends.......especially in her home town........and don't explain away every "flag" that shows itself........

I think on the little I have experienced thus far, the most revealing time of all, has been observing interaction with family and friends.  I simply can't believe that some bypass this opportunity.  There is too much to gain adn NOTHING to lose.

I/O