Things Out of Hand - Tolerance - and Maturity . . .

[Admin]

Hey Folks,

Been quite a month or so here at RWD, hasn't it?

We have seen numerous topics generating enormous passion, and in some cases, animosity and anger.

I'd like to address some things - and it will likely be long, so be forewarned.

Multiple Identities

It has come to my attention over the past 6 weeks that we have a few members of RWD who registered multiple identities. Some have been 'found out', and others have not..... yet, anyway.

In all cases where this was raised to the attention of the person(s) involved, there was a reasonable answer provided - and steps taken to remove the multiple identities.

In all cases, the RWD member has been an active contributor and wishes to continue to participate at RWD - under a single ID.

I urge everyone to be considerate of others. The creation of an ID separate from the 'original' is dubious, at best. In many cases, other RWD members will feel betrayed or tricked, once they discover the charade. For this reason, our policy is that members do NOT register multiple ID's.

Having said that, I want to also make the request to ALL members to do your best to be tolerant, understanding and forgiving of others in our community who may have, for reasons altogether valid or not, chosen to register multiple ID's. I ask ALL members to refrain from engaging in witchhunts to 'out' the offending members in an attempt to disgrace or humiliate them. If at all possible, I request you ALL to 'let bygones be bygones' - and let's move forward.

We have a unique opportunity here at RWD. There is no other venue on the 'net quite like this - and we have the opportunity to grow that and keep our community strong and vibrant.

There are most certainly those out there who would love to see RWD fail - and we are NOT immune.

Board Wars

I have mentioned the fact that I am fallible (like THAT is some surprise - right  ??? ). Well, in the past few weeks I have certainly been fallible - and I have allowed myself to become embroiled in something I should have simply ignored. Many of you have seen the topics which address attacks on RWD from an anti-scam site. I have made the great mistake of providing them credibility by engaging in their ad hominem attacks and responding in kind. It is all-too-easy to get drawn into such a debate, and I acknowledge my part in contributing to the tensions. It was foolish and counter-productive. I 'took my eye off the ball' and am now paying for that with the comments being made elsewhere - some warranted, most not - but all of my doing for having allowed the provocation of animosities.

I honestly cannot tell you exactly what to expect from the recent hostilities - except that they are likely to persist for a while longer - maybe grow in tenor and pitch - and ultimately, it is ALL best ignored.

What the others want is two-fold. The most important thing they want is attention. If we allow ourselves to be distracted and embroiled in their allegations and agenda, they have succeeded in gaining attention. Best to just ignore them completely - no matter the provocation. Their other objective would be to distract us so that we slow our growth and momentum.

Let's try to remain focused on solidifying and building upon what we have here at RWD. We have knowledgeable and helpful members. We have thoughtful and interested newcomers. We have a HUGE range of diverse knowledge and talent all within reach of any member who has a need. There is a tremendous generosity amongst our ranks -and that sets us apart from any other venue.

Lost Members

We have lost something in the past few weeks. Sure, the traffic levels are literally indicating explosive growth - but we still managed to lose something.

We lost valued members of our community. In one case, we had a couple of members decide to walk away because they felt they had offended others. Actually, I can think of 3 instances of this in the past two weeks. We lost one member due to misunderstandings and his becoming confrontational to the point of abuse. We lost another who suffered a combination of embarrassment and personal issues. Every single one of them added something to the 'fabric' of RWD and it is sad we have lost them.

Moderation

You have probably all noticed the increased presence of the Moderators these past few weeks. In part, that was due to the sheer volume of topics and posts. In part, it was due to the rancor in many of the topics and posts. And it was also in part to my dedication of less time to the site for personal reasons.

The Moderators are a great help - and I am sure most of you appreciate the thankless job they do - but at the same time, it is important to recognize the need for our members to exercise self-moderation. For two years we have been a largely self-moderated site - and I hope that continues (so do the Mods, BTW). We appeal to you ALL to behave maturely and show respect for your fellow members. Please limit, or eliminate, the need for Moderator intervention, by refraining from attacking others.

Close

I am passionate about a few things. I am passionate about RWD, and Planet-Love, and CMA - and some other internet ventures. 'Community' is something I have been studying and developing for many, many years. We have something special here. I cannot put my finger on it exactly. I do not sense it every minute of every day - BUT - I *do* sense it often enough to know it is real and it is palpable to others of you.

Let's build on that. Let's ALL keep our 'eyes on the ball' (BIG note to self!). Let's all enjoy the venue we have created here and let's make it enjoyable for ourselves and valuable to others.

Negatives breed negatives. I doubt if a single one of you would say you need MORE negativity in your lives. Let's opt for the OTHER choice.

Just my appeal - and my commitment. I hope you all will join me.

- Dan

[WmGO]

Dan,

We need some wars like we used to have on PL to liven things up!
I used to think they were extremely entertaining and constructive in a weird sort of way.

I also don't mind multiple identities. In the early days of PL I used an aler ego to ask silly questions on purpose to provoke interesting threads. This was a long time ago, but do you remember a character by the name of "Rambo" that asked about the smell of FSUW? Jack may remember. I was wondering if FSUW had a smell like Asian women have (which I don't like). It led to a very funny thread. In the end Jack said FSUW have a unique smell like honeysuckle to which Rambo happily responded:  "Mmmmmgood! I like honeysuckle!"

[Gator]

Dan, I appreciate your appeal, and I am glad you said “Note to Self”.

Upon returning from my long trip I open RWD and see much activity and several new members.  Threads were interesting with little twaddle and the momentary acrimony seemed no worse than expected.

With this positive development came some negative developments.   

I am unsure of your exact participation in the “Board war”.  Anyone who contributed to that ad hoc forum about a specific “blacklist” should feel embarrassment if they had to explain their posts to a third party.  If you did participate, I hope you follow your advice and turn your cheek, and that would mean refraining from further participation directly or indirectly.

Regarding lost members, the couple is indeed a loss.  Any offense was probably justified.  I hope they reconsider as both are solid citizens.  And I hope you attempt to bring them back.

Regarding multiple identities, that is indeed bad.  What I found particularly bad is to create a specious if not spurious story and then when discovered to feign innocence.  Be a man! Oh well, he must sleep in the bed he is making and that alone will be severe punishment, I predict.

I missed the abusive acrimony regarding one lost member and his posts have been deleted.  Was it that bad or did he attack the wrong person?  I assume both.

[Wayne B]

To all here!!!!  I am truthfully sorry if I have offended anyone?  I am very new to RWD, and I believe this site has alot to offer everyone!!!  weather a person whom has many years of FSU Women or you have just started your intrests in a possible search of 'FSU WOMAN'  The best to all whom are here for the 'Right Reasons'

[Son of Clyde]

I received a rather lengthy PM from jinx13. Has he been banned?
I realize he has made some strange posts and maybe thinks some are trying to persecute him but he seems to be a really decent guy.
You are always going to have these strong personality types on any board. Jinx is one who is always defending himself, but maybe he has a legitimate reason. I stay out of these little wars if at all possible. The PM took me by surprise.

[Mir]

Well certainly it looks that a member has been banned and few have left.
Also no clarification has been given about the multiple identity issue that regards the Mila thread.
Are posts being censored? If yes why?

[Admin]

Well certainly it looks that a member has been banned and few have left.
Also no clarification has been given about the multiple identity issue that regards the Mila thread.
Are posts being censored? If yes why?

No censorship, or any other moderation activity, unless there has been a ToS violation.

In all cases, there are 'breadcrumbs' of some sort left - or this message covers it.

- Dan

[CG]

No censorship, or any other moderation activity, unless there has been a ToS violation.

Not entirely true. Speaking of multiple identities, I remember posting irrefutable proof of Jack's long history of using phony screen names. It didn't last 5 minutes. But nobody ever objects to Bragg's numerous and long-winded tirades attacking his enemy of the month. Anyone who does object (like jinx13) quickly finds themselves branded a trouble-maker on moderated status and eventually declared persona non grata. To the poster who misses the Planet Love days, in regards to the Jack-attack and his merry band of sycophants, not much has changed!

Otherwise, Dan's admission of needlessly fueling the fire and attempting to tone down the rhetoric is admirable. My purpose is not to become a thorn in his side, but to help him realize what many are thinking so that RWD doesn't devolve into another "Lord of the Flies" WWF cesspool, similar to what happened to P/L.

~CG

[Admin]

Not entirely true. Speaking of multiple identities, I remember posting irrefutable proof of Jack's long history of using phony screen names. It didn't last 5 minutes. But nobody ever objects to Bragg's numerous and long-winded tirades attacking his enemy of the month. Anyone who does object (like jinx13) quickly finds themselves branded a trouble-maker on moderated status and eventually declared persona non grata. To the poster who misses the Planet Love days, in regards to the Jack-attack and his merry band of sycophants, not much has changed!

Otherwise, Dan's admission of needlessly fueling the fire and attempting to tone down the rhetoric is admirable. My purpose is not to become a thorn in his side, but to help him realize what many are thinking so that RWD doesn't devolve into another "Lord of the Flies" WWF cesspool, similar to what happened to P/L.

~CG

Marty,

Several comments:

I never said I was "needlessly fueling the fire." I wrote that I "allowed myself to become embroiled" - and I see those as quite different statements.

Next, the issue of allegations (or "proof") of incidents which pre-date RWD are both ancient history, and of no consequence. I can only address what happens at RWD. I would appreciate you restricting your criticisms, which seems your ONLY reason for membership here, to those issues which are relevant.

Regarding what is, or is not, done in the way of discipline or response to another RWD member is generally not something which I will publish on the open board. Reason is simple - I am not the least bit interested in seeing anyone humiliated, hence, there are quite a few things which occur in PM's or emails which are not appropriate to publish on the open forum. It is, admittedly, a bit of a tightrope. As a community of members, the RWD community has a vested interest in what occurs with, and to, its members. The call I make is that when something might be humiliating or embarrassing, I choose to handle those in private if possible. Sometimes, people do not allow it and it becomes public, but that is usually not my choice.

Finally, regarding PL.  I have seen your comments before. That "cesspool" has been helping guys find and marry foreign brides since 1998 - many thousands of guys have benefitted by that "cesspool" and continue so today. It was the first, and is the oldest, and by far the most referenced site of its kind on the internet. It has accomplished a great deal for being a "cesspool."

- Dan

[IAmZon]

All the items that become negatively charged are minor really ... assume the perspective that you had when you first found RWD ... what was the reason for comming back?

That reason was THE COMMON GOOD.  The Common Good is a product of dialogue - it does not EVEN matter what the topic is about. 

This is an exceptionally GOOD community, so personalities tend to take on a more important role because of the consistency of the audience - the participating members.

What is your COMMON GOOD?

Rarely do I visit RWD when I don't learn something about a topic that interests me greatly; and, indeed myself.

[Mod5]

Mir,
Regarding the Mila thread:
There was an inadvertent ToS violation that came to our attention. The OP was not even aware until it was pointed out. Clarifications have been made to the involved parties, and an understanding reached.


All,

Multiple Identities
I ask ALL members to refrain from engaging in witchhunts to 'out' the offending members in an attempt to disgrace or humiliate them. If at all possible, I request you ALL to 'let bygones be bygones' - and let's move forward.

If anyone suspects another member of suffering from multiple identity disorder, you are encouraged to bring it to our attention. Armchair detective work can be quite satisfying when you are ultimately correct, but there is always the risk of besmirching the reputation of innocent victims and damaging your own credibility if you are incorrect. The admin staff has an array of tools at their disposal to confirm or deny suspicions quickly and accurately rather than relying solely on hunches or speculation. We'd all like to move forward but that does not mean that the tolerance for this (or any) type of terms of use violation will be relaxed in any way. 

[CG]

Dan,

Is it possible that your determination of what constitutes "ancient history" is a bit subjective? Staying with the purpose of this thread, I found evidence posted by Bruno that your dispute with Jim was escalated when a certain unnamed agency owner accused him of lifting names from another blacklist SIX years ago (not sure if this is true or not.) Or is the mere mention of this a further violation?

Want to accuse me of "regurgitating" or bringing up "ancient history?" Fine, but shouldn't this request be consistent and impartial?

~CG 

[Admin]

Dan,

Is it possible that your determination of what constitutes "ancient history" is a bit subjective? Staying with the purpose of this thread, I found evidence posted by Bruno that your dispute with Jim was escalated when a certain unnamed agency owner accused him of lifting names from another blacklist SIX years ago (not sure if this is true or not.) Or is the mere mention of this a further violation?

Want to accuse me of "regurgitating" or bringing up "ancient history?" Fine, but shouldn't this request be consistent and impartial?

~CG 

Marty,

For someone with the wealth of information to share that you possess - it is a shame that you are so seemingly obsessed with Jack and your perceived (or real) allegations of wrongdoing. I sincerely hope you 'get over it' so that you are able to release what you have to offer constructively - whether here or elsewhere.

My issues with Jim are mine. I have divulged as much as I am going to divulge on the open forum. Sorry.

- Dan

[CG]

[Deleted out of fairness for deleting comments from my nemesis.]

No mas. I've said my peace.

~CG

[Rvrwind]

So what your saying is I have to give up my 1,347 alternate ID's!!!! Sheeesh, I was just trying to boost the membership stats!!!  Oh, well if you insist...