The perfect path (?) - Part 1: Introduction -> 1st visit

[Goombah]

All -

I consider myself to be extremely lucky in that I truly believe I have found love and so far everything has gone "as its suppose to".  I thought I would post about my experience to date, and update the list every few months with status.

First, I started considering FSU women, Ukrainian's in particular, around August of 04 - a couple of months after filing for divorce and those same months being disappointed with local options.  I should state that I was 45 years old and wanting to start a second family, so was looking for a lady in her late 20s through mid 30s.  The local ladies that were interested were not interesting to me.

I've probably sent over 100 introduction letters out to various ladies at various sites - some free, some not (FYI: I had the best response rate from LuckyLovers.net).  I spent a couple of months reading the boards and websites for 3-6 hours a day before I sent my first letter in September 04.  I've exchange 6 or more letters with perhaps a dozen or so ladies and have spent hundreds of hours ICQing (mostly with one that didn't work out - but we remain friends).

In December 04 I visited Kiev, and enjoyed the company of a 25 year old for 5 evenings, never got more than a quick kiss, stayed in touch for 2 months, then she bailed.  Few red flags while I was there beyond enjoying good restraunts, and begging off 2 days while she studied for and took exams, lots of red flags after I left - mostly around not e-mail me, although she SMSed daily.  Ends up she got back together with an ex-boyfriend.

In February while I was planning for a return trip in April, I was introduced to Evia by a common friend. (Evia is now 33, I'm 46, and she has a 10 yo daughter.) This gentlemen dated Evia's sister 5 years ago and has remained a family friend.  When he heard I was looking in Ukraine, he recommended I contact Evia.  Evia lives in Omsk, Russia - a part of the planet I was NOT looking in at all...  Still, we hit if off and exchanged 165 e-mails by the end of our first month of acquaintence.  Few of those were trivial - many were over 6 pages long and we peaked at 11 page letters - it was not unusual for me to spend 3-4 hours a day writing letters to her, sometimes MUCH longer.  We opening and freely asked each other everything.  I don't think a day went by after my first letter to her when we didn't exchange at least one note.  During the first month we agreed to meet in Ukraine, since I had a 5-year multi-entry visa.  Evia requested a June->August meeting so that she could bring Nastya, her daughter.  I agreed.  After about a month of exchanging letters, I suggested that I would like to meet her sooner rather than later.  She agreed, saying that we both were seeking our life partner, there were steps we had to take, and meeting was one of those - I was welcome to come anytime, and Nastya would be happy to surrender her bed for me.  A month later, with the e-mail count up to 265 letters, at 5:30am in the morning, I arrived in Omsk.

Upon arrival, I followed the crowd to a metal gate behind which a lot of people were waiting.  I caught one glimpse of someone I thought might be her, the gates opened, I took about 5 steps, and received the best hug of my life.  Shortly thereafter, I got the best hug a 10 yo could provide, along with a squeel of delight when I picked Nastya up while hugging her back.  Evia took my hand and basically didn't let go while I was there.

Of course, I was exhausted - the trip took about 36 hours to make, but the adrealine was pumping pretty good.  A single red rose I brought from St. Louis made it in pretty good shape.  I had choosen a tight young bud, and it was just beginning to open by the time I arrived.  It made a good impression <smile>.

Evia's father provided transportation - I received a warm friendly handshake from him - a substantial man those hands dwarf'ed my own.  Per previous arrangement, we went to Evia's house where I cleaned up a bit, and we sorted and seperated the gifts I brought for her, Nastia, her mother, her father, her sister, and her niece (basically about half of what I brought to Omsk was gifts...).  Shortly thereafter, we were off to her mothers (a short walk) to meet everyone and have a feast.  They presented me with gifts as well, and more were exchanged during my stay.

During the week I was there (arrived Sunday morning, left Friday morning) we walked a lot.  Anything that took less than an hour to get to by foot was considered walking distance.  We went for a stroll Tuesday, and walked for 4 hours.  I earned brownie points for not being tired from that, although I admitted the dress shoes I had on were not idea and the front of my toes hurt (actually a few blood blistered).  Evia and I shared our first kiss on that walk, with Nastia documenting it with my camera.  Nastya is 100% cool the entire time I am there with the attention I am giving her mother - she simply requests that I hold her hand with my free one.  Evia is either holding my other one, or the arm, 98% of the time we are walking anywhere.

The entire family seems to be focused on my comfort, but little is needed to accomplish that.  Everyone is very friendly, with perhaps her sister being a little skeptical, but I believe I even won her over.  I feel completely at home - like I was over visiting an Uncle who lives in an older part of Chicago.

I only made one social mistake that I was aware of:  I placed my napkin on the chair after our first meal.  Not sure what that is about, but her sister gasped <laugh>.  Evia and her mother quickly dismissed it as "silly Russian superstition".  To this day I still don't know what you are suppose to do with your napkin after a meal - but DON'T put it in your chair!

Evia insisted on taking the week off of work, although I assured her I would be fine and could perhaps help her father around the house.  That wasn't accepted, she took the time off.  That said, she was cautious, and simply told her employer she needed the week off.  When asked why, she got away with  "I'll tell you when I come back".  Well, the secret didn't last long.  On our second day, in a town of 1.3 million, we crossed paths with her boss! <smile>

The week went VERY fast.  We did a lot of sightseeing, bought tickets to a childrens concert one day for a concert several days later, went through parks, etc.  I did want to buy her father a special present:  an electric circular saw.  Because of weight and power differences, I could not bring one with me.  We spent some time looking at a few stores Evia knew about, eventually punted, and took him with.  He new a better store, and picked one he liked.  This was a very big deal for him, and I was rewarded with let more gifts, including some very personal things (parts of his uniform from his career in the militia).

Apparently I passed scruntiny by the family, who arranged to have Nastya spend a night with her cousin at the grandparents.  Evia's mother indicated it would allow me to stretch out since I could swap beds with Evia (Evia and Nastia shared the larger bed while I slept in Nastia's smaller one) for that one night.  Evia just winked at me.

During our many letter exchanges, Evia and I agreed that we were logically compatible - the point of the trip was to see if the all important chemisty existed.  I knew I liked her, a lot, by the time we kissed.  She claims she fell in love at first sight <smile>.  I knew I was in love when I left with tears in my eyes.  Anyhow, during those letters I suggest we meet, and if things worked out, file the K-1 paperwork.  I suggested we then meet again during the summer, in the original June-August time frame, and confirm our feelings.  If things didn't work out, we could always cancel the K-1, if things did work out, we would be several months ahead of the game.  She agreed.  So, during my last full day there, we filled out the paperwork.  I took along several copies, and suggested we make a trial run, then fill out an official copy.  That ended up being a good idea.  The forms were not hard, but it allowed us to have consistant answers for things like "none" vs. "n/a".

Friday came in a flash.  Her father was suppose to come and fetch us at 5am.  At 4:15am we got a call from her mother saying he would be there in 10 minutes.  That put is in slight panic mode, even though I mostly packed the night before.  Ended up leaving the K-1 paperwork in a folder that got misplaced the night before, and not noticed until we were at the airport.  Her father even went back to her house to try and find it, but no luck.  They found it later that day and Express Mailed it to me...

Turns out that was a hidden blessing, during the week I waited for the Express Mail to arrive, I found a good website that outlined the order and format (2 hole punched) my application should be in.  My application turned out to be 54 pages in length, in large part because I opted to provide photocopies of my passport (about 10 pages) and a copy of my divorce decree (a bunch more), plus the other forms needed.

We have an application date of May 2nd.  Today is June 27th.  Other than my NOA-1, I haven't heard a thing.  I think that is a good thing - hopefully I won't get an RFE.

That pretty much brings us up to the present.  In early August, all three of us will spend 9 days in Jamaica.  We remain 100% romantically in love with no doubt in either of our minds.  She is in the process of selling her house and either giving away her possessions or moving them into her parents house.  She intends to sell prior to coming to Jamaica.  She continues to work her job, but has told her boss and is helping with the transition of her duties to a new person.  She will not work after returning from Jamaica.  Hopefully we will be about 2 months away from her having her interview.  

Oh, I did leave her with an ATM card when I left - making sure she knew how to use it.  She uses it to cover her cell phone bill, pay for things like her Intenational Passport (received last Friday!), airline tickets, occasionaly gifts for her parents (like the bottle of wine we gave her father for his introduction to the concept of Father's Day), etc.

We continue to write 1-5 letters a day, although I think we are both down to 1-2 hours a day of effort.  I call 2-3 times a day via a calling card (about $40/month).  She writes letters to my parents, my parents write her.  Her parents write my parents and visa-versa.  I probably exchange 3-4 letters a week with her mother, and talk to her mother a couple of times a week.

If there is any scam going, it involves at least seven people, including the friend that introduced us.  I refuse to believe that is worth considering as a concept.

I consider myself one VERY lucky man.

Kevin

Next installment:  Either when I get an RFE, NOA-2, or return from Jamaica.

[corp]

Goombah, good posting.
Do I think you two are moving fast? Yup... but I also sense something good between you two.

 I get a letter from a lady from Omsk about every ten days, she seems like a real nice girl, I have thought about going to see her in the past but thats a long way to go if it should bomb out on me or if she should turn out to be less than legit.
Wonder what the RT tick cost from moscow to omsk?
Well anyway, enjoy your posts.

[Goombah]

RT Moscow to Omsk is about $300.  Note that there are only overnight flights from Moscow.  The planes land in Omsk about 5:30am and return to Moscow at 6:30am.

PM the name of your gal in Omsk...

Kevin

[Turboguy]

That was a nice post Kevin.  It sounds like you have a great gal there and hopefully if it all works out a happy future together.

Long flight to Omsk, isn't if.   I did that one in 1999 or so.  When you look how much of Russia is past Omsk and make that flight it lets you realize how big Russia realy is.

 

[Goombah]

Amen!  Having an 11 hour layover in Moscow didn't help.  I killed two hours of that by taking the wrong bus between SVO terminals and getting a tour of downtown Moscow, but still.

Oh, two timeline corrections:  First kiss was on Monday (I found the photo), probably 30 hours after I landed, and I left Saturday morning early, not Friday.  For those who have hesitant woman I should note that Evia was COMPLETELY receptive to me kissing her.  I had to initiate it, but our first kiss was everything a first kiss should be - long, enjoyable, unhurried, with a slight exploratory nature - one to be remembered forever.  Very romantic.

After the first kiss, we partook of that pleasure very frequently.  Sometimes I heard what became my favorite English word from Evia:  "More?" <smile>

Kevin

[jb]

Yep,,, I once did the Moscow - Vladivostok flight, which covers about 10 time zones IIRC.  It was brutal, Aeroflot served three identical meals, and about one gallon of vodka per passenger.  Everyone was anesthetized by the time we finally got there.

[Albert]

Kevin, nice story.  Thanks for sharing.

I have one serious suggestion.  Strongly advise her NOT to sell her house or apartment or whatever it is.  Several reasons:

First, of course, is the possibility that things will not work out between you two before or after marriage.  Because of the touchiness of this issue, best not to word it quite like I did, or possibly leave out all together.

Second, property values are increasing quite a bit throughout the FSU.  True, most of the large increases are in the major cities, but it will spread over time to other areas as well.  Her property could well turn out to be one of the best performing assets in your family portfolio.

Third, right now, the money obtained from the sale of her property is probably not very significant.  It won't do much to solve any financial problems you and she might have.  But the upside potential of her property is very large.

Fourth, even if no rental proceeds are forthcoming from the property, it would be nice to have a place to go to when you and she return for visits.

[Goombah]

Albert -

All valid points.  

I mentioned her selling her place to highlight the level of committment she has.  Not selling has one major problem:  it would probably be vandalized.  She has a dog, which seems to do the trick when she is only gone a day or two, but people would notice, and talk, if she was gone longer.  For instance, she received 3 unsolicited house offers the week after I left.  Although she did not talk to any of her neighbors - the word was out that she had met an American (who stayed with her no less!).

As it turns out, the house next to her parents appears like it will be going on the market in about 6 months.  This will be perfect, since it will expand the available land my new in-laws will have to garden - perhaps allowing them to sell some excess crops and branch out into raising chickens and rabbits.  The values are similar, so the money she makes will be banked and used to purchase this neighbors home.  Unfortunatly, the new house requires a lot of work, but her father is handy and will do the work on the house while we work on our early marriage and associated travel paperwork.

So... we will have a place to stay when we visit, next door to her parents; she will be able to invest her money; and it helps her parents in the long run!

Regarding the "small town" nature of Omsk.  Nastya's biological father, whom hasn't been heard from in over 8 years, called the original family apartment where Evia's sister now lives.  He wanted to know Evia's phone number, and Nastya's birthday.  This happened a week after I left.  Tanya, Evia's sister, took his number and told him Evia would call if she wished.  I don't believe that call ever happened.  Evia has her International Passport (allowing Nastya to travel to the USA) and his name is not on ANY of the birth documents - we believe he is effectively a persona non-gratta (sp?).