You know your spending to much time in Ukraine when........

[Jack]

My top 15 reasons when I know I am spending to much time in Ukraine, or Russia,.....



15.  When I return home I answer everyone with a  daa, or nyet.

14.  When I return home I think those young and beautiful American women actually have an interest in me.

13.  When going to bed at 2 or 3am is early.

12.  When you die you would rather go to Ukraine than heaven.

11.  When driving or parking on the sidewalk is ok.

10.  When you have to tell the clerk you want regular water or water with "gas"?

 9.   When you go weeks or months without driving and walk, walk, walk and you love it.

 8.   When you refer to gay's as Blue Boys.

 7.   When your passport has replaced your American Express in that you never leave your flat or hotel without it.

 6.   When you don't hear sirens, you don't hear gun shots, and you see beautiful women catching rides with total strangers all hours of the day or night.

 5.  You enjoy going out to night clubs, discos and dancing.

 4.  You check to make sure you have hot water before you shower.

 3.  Stunningly beautiful women no longer amaze you.

 2.  You begin to save plastic bags. No more throwing them away.

And the number one reason I know I am spending to much time in Ukraine is when I take my own plastic bags with me when I go to market.

[BC]

Thanks Jack..

I enjoyed that.. really!

 

Nr. 15 is a killer.. do it all the time, not even thinking..

[Nat]

2.  You begin to save plastic bags. No more throwing them away.

And the number one reason I know I am spending to much time in Ukraine is when I take my own plastic bags with me when I go to market.

Hehe, these two are cool Hey, don't you save plastic bags in the USA? Never? I can't believe it!!!

[philb]

I told you that you were spending to much time over there.

[Kuna]

 

Excellent work Jack!  Loved it!

[Air Dog]

Very funny Jack, and also true 

Air Dog

[ScottinCrimea]

I loved it!  I scored 15 out of 15.  I'll have to add a few more as I think of them.

How about:
When you find yourself actually ironing your clothes.

When even Australian English sounds good to you.  ( Sorry guys, I couldn't resist, but it's still true  )

When your doctor starts to become concerned about the level of mayonaisse in your blood.

When you start to think that those pointy shoes actually look good.

[Rvrwind]

Jack TFF...But oh, so true.
How about:
When you are entertaining a client & the service suks & you say "Its Russia" (My wifes favorite line!)

When mosquitos are abundant & window screens non existant!

When you have to drive to the river to wash your car!

When women without highheels no longer attract your attention.

When riding the bus the roof leaks.

When riding a train or bus in 100 degree weather, the windows don't open.

When you realize your apartment here is smaller than your living room back home.

When a passeger in a cab you are constantly pushing a none existant brake pedal & leave your fingerprints in the dashboard.

[Jeff Mowatt]

When your windowsill looks kinda empty without a row of festering half filled milk bottles. 

When your front door reminds you of a bank vault.

When you hesistate before consuming a drink straight from the fridge.

When your neighbour greeting you in his underpants no longer surprises you.

   

[Mir]

When you go wine tasting and see that children are takeing part with their parents

When you see teens standing around a hose refuleing a boat, smoking

When you find pavements and sidewalks become ice-rinks in winter

[MaxxumUSA]

I spent 6 weeks in russia this year so far - not Ukraine - BUT I have a few to add:

-  When your first inclination to communicate with a friend is SMS instead of calling.

-  When you need to conciously stay within the yellow lines on the roads.

-  When you are surprised to not see a broken down Lada with hood up on every block.

-  When you notice very few car accidents here in the USA.

-  When you're actually relaxed driving as a passenger in a car.

-  When you are surprised to see a woman dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

-  When you are happy to purchase all food items in one store.

-  When your neck hurts from whiplash - from noticing all those hot women.

-  When you can sleep through the night on an uncomfortable bed/couch.

[Rvrwind]

AND..

When your not surprised by the electricity going out on a weekly & sometimes daily basis.

When you get so used to hearing the neighbour three floors away drilling with a masonary bit that you no longer confuse the sound with low flying aircraft.

When your not being told to unpug & close the door on the microwave so you don't irridatated with microwaves.

When seeing a carpet hanging on the wall doesn't elicit the question. Why?

When walking the sidewalks does not require a slolom around chewing gum & spitte!!

When hearing loud bangs at night are now distiguishable between fireworks & gun fire.

Seeing an off duty cop carrying an Uzi no longer impresses you.

When you wake up to find the water has been turned off.

When you find out that is why we been collecting the empty Pepsi bottles & flling them with water for.

And the biggy & my fav!!!

Seeing a Cowboy Hat makes your day!!

[Kuna]

You eat salad with every meal

You're not surprised to see men in their early 20's walking down the street with an icecream from McDonalds in one hand and a beer in the other

You don't gag from the smell of body odour when you get on any form of public transport

You're relaxed as your bus swerves all over the road to miss potholes

You actually buy the meat that's sitting on the table in front of the local market

You no longer ask for an English language menu

You can cross the road at a zebra crossing and make it look like you weren't scared wittless.

You don't have to count the number of times you need to turn the key in the apartment door

You're no longer amazed that tickets to the opera are available from $4

You say "Ya ne ponimaju" and people actually understand you!

[Simoni]

When you can cross the street without praying first...and without being prepared to dart from danger.

[HiTech]

When you walk into a Mac & D's and are surprised to here "Can I take your order" in english.

HiTech

[MaxxumUSA]

Ahh....  a deep thought...

...  When you realize most of the comforts of home are truly luxuries that  you did not notice before spending too much time in ****** wherever.

[BC]

After your flight lands back home:

You pick up your bags and wonder where all the taxi drivers are..

You order a beer at McDonalds and they look at you real funny..

You forget that your car has seatbelts..

You feel uncomfortable driving..

You get a speeding ticket..

The locks and doors in your house seem so flimsy..

You forget that A/C exists..

You think your built in refrigerator is an elevator..

When turning on your stove you look for matches..

You notice that packaged/canned soup really does suck..