Funerals

[timothe]

My fiancee's grandfather on her mother's side died over the weekend.  I never met the man, but I'm wondering if it is appropriate to send flowers.  (I am thinking I shouldn't, because Olga didn't know her grandfather well.  It is her mother that is grieving and I don't want "the American man" to interfere.)

Has anyone gone through this before?

[Serebro]

I don't think that you must send flowers...
but I think that it will be pleasant for a family to receive this sign of attention.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Send Olga my prayers Timothe.  I just lost my grandfather yesterday.  Being in Ukraine I didn't get a chance to see him before he left this earth. 



Thomas

[timothe]

Send Olga my prayers Timothe.  I just lost my grandfather yesterday.  Being in Ukraine I didn't get a chance to see him before he left this earth. 



Thomas

I'm sorry, Thomas.  I will include you and your family in my prayers as well. 

[AnastassiaAsh]

Oh, i am so sorry for both of you, guys!  

I didn't get to see either my granddad or my dad. I was here, they were there. I saw my granddad two years before he died and my dad 3 years before he died. Or something like that. I used to talk to my dad once a month on the phone and it was his BD coming in September 2006, but nobody picked up, for a looooong time. I found out only in Jan 2007 that he died in December 2006....That's my story.

Timothe, ask your fiancee about it, i would talk to them on the phone, send them a nice letter or even propose some financial help with the funerals.

[WmGO]

Funerals - send *even* number of flowers; not sure on what
is the appropriate/non-appropriate colors/types........

[jb]

Carnations are the traditional funeral flower,,, in even numbers.  However, my wife says sending flowers from overseas to a funeral for someone you've never met would seem strange.  It would be better to offer the price of the flowers as a gift to the family to defray funeral costs.  It would probably cost $80.00-100.00 to send flowers, which would wilt within days, $100.00 towards a nice head stone would be a nice gift.

[WmGO]

$100.00 towards a nice head stone would be a nice gift.

Good idea.

[BillyB]

When my fiancee's grandmother died last year, her boss didn't give her any flowers but gave her $200 to help pay for the funeral. Cash over flowers is probably the better choice.

[Jumper]

timothe-
 I've been in that situation,my wifes (then girlfriend,not yet fiancee ) grandmother passed,
she lived with her so they were quite close, very tough times.
 In our case it was a bit tricky situation honestly,in that case flowers would be
traditioonal and expected..but funds were also needed and we hads dated quite awhile.. ,but also her mother might be a bit insulted at any monetary things offered....
just how she is in general.


its a delicate thing ,and each case is so very different ,
so just talk it over with her..before doing anything is my advise.

[timothe]

Thanks for the input, guys.  I sent Olga money for the funeral arrangements and told her to use it for flowers or whatever.  I'm not sure that Olga was very close to her grandfather, but I'm sure her mother was very close to him.