How I got Where I am

[Flyfisheron]

Don't know if this belongs in 'experienced' or not....if not, Mods, please move it to where you deem appropriate.

I'm only writing this because I haven't seen a story along the same lines.

Started my 'search' about three years ago.  Not actually sure what first drew me towards FSU women other than the accent and a frustration with the number of experiences I'd had with NA women.

Joined a couple of 'pay as you go' sites, and quickly became disallusioned with the entire process.  Had some communication with a couple of girls who I quickly realised as scammers, and a number of girls who actually semed legit.  Al in all, I wouldn't say that it was an overly enlightening experience, although it did provide some insight to the FSU mentality.

Stumbled across LuckyLovers (for the life of me, I can't remember how), and was overwhelmed with the number of responses.  Trying to respond to 30-40 e-mails a day really stated taking up more time than I had to devote to this cause.  A couple of weeks into the whole process, I met Elena.

We were around the same age (although she did list herself as 5 years younger than she actually was - something that I still hold up to her as the lie that our entire relationship is based upon..lol), and seemed to 'click' right from the start.  Three months in, and I was booking my trip to Moscow - yes, she's a Moscovite (I still don't understand why I was warned away by so many from these women).  Lena had booked tickets to the theatre, the opera, the circus....going to get the full treatment.  The day before boarding, my vacation gets cancelled, and I'm sent to PEI for three weeks for work.  Call Lena and inform her of the situation.  She's disappointed, but "your work is your work".  We try to re-book a number of times that first year, and nothing ever seems to fit.

Fast forward through our first year since we 'met', and the opportunity arises to meet each other in Brussels.   I book a week off work, she pays for a Dr's note claiming how 'sick' she is (I'm still amazed at how this all works), and we finally manage to actually meet.  We have a wonderful week together - we just pick up from where our last phone call left off and carry on from there.

Six months later, I'm finally on the flight to Moscow.  Have a great 14 days with each other.  Get to do all of the things originally planned for the first visit.  As I'm getting ready to leave, there's a real sadness that comes between us.  I have never met a woman as dedicated to making something work.  We discuss where all of this could lead... how our lives could possibly manage to meld together.  She has a daughter going on 20, I've got two who I have full custody of under the age of 15.  She want's to live in Europe, and even though my profession allows me to work pretty well anywhere in the world, there is really no way that I can relocate out of North America without getting into another huge, expensive battle with the ex.  I don't push the issue, and decide to just continue on.

We stay in touch (daily e-mails, chatting, phone calls), and the relationship continues to grow.  Six months ago, I'm back on a plane to Russia.  This time, meet the family - my choice not to meet them on the first trip...not hers.  This one was a more relaxing trip.  A lot more time spent just being together than anything else.  Nice to not feel so much like a tourist, and just enjoy being there..

Just starting to plan the next trip back.  I figure that early January looks good now.  Might as well see just how cold it actually gets...lol.

I guess the whole purpose behind this is to dispell some of the misconceptions out there about how things 'have to be'.  It's not always as bad as some let on.  Lena is from a 'priveledged' family in Moscow (her father is a high level Politico)..yet she has never displayed any of the 'prima-donna' attributes assigned to this 'class'.  It took me almost a year to get over there the first time - even though 'there' ended up being a neutral place - it never changed the way we felt about each other, and it didn't force her to lose interest (as I had heard so often happens).  We share expenses 50/50 on everything (okay... I spend more on flowers, etc., but that's my own presonal choice).

Where we are going to go from here, who knows.....  I love this woman, and have no question that she loves me as well.  We've talked about marriage, and I finally got hit with the "You have never said 'come to me'" as a solution to the relocation issues.

I guess we'll see where things lead in January.......

Fly

[BillyB]

We've talked about marriage, and I finally got hit with the "You have never said 'come to me'" as a solution to the relocation issues.

Fly, Be the man and tell her to come to you and that's the way it's going to be. Hopefully she respects the fact you want to be near your kids since you will probably not be allowed to take them to Europe to live. Good luck.

[Flyfisheron]

Billy:

She fully understands the situation with my kids - I have them full time, and there is no way that they would go back to their mother....  She doesn't like it, but she understands it.  I sometimes think we take two steps forward, and and one step back when it comes to the whole relocation issuue.  I know that she has been 'sheltered' by her parents, and still feels that unbelievably strong bond with them.  I completely understand where she is coming from in reagrds to them.  We spent the other day discussing living in Canada, and the number of 'acceptable' trips back 'home'.  As it stands right now, it looks like once a year and every second X-Mas may actually work.

I always swore that my third marriage would be a 'business agreement'... I just never expected that those thoughts would actually come to fruition....lol.  I guess you have to be careful what you wish for.

Fly

[Mir]

Well she has already indicated that she is willing to follow you anywhere, may it be the cold and wilderness of Siberia or the cold and wilderness of Canada 

[USCFAN]

Thanks for sharing your story with us Fly ...

As a single guy, who has hit a few 'bumps' in this process ... it is encouraging to see someone who has found someone. I wish you success on the rest of your journey ...

Steve

[Flyfisheron]

Well she has already indicated that she is willing to follow you anywhere, may it be the cold and wilderness of Siberia or the cold and wilderness of Canada 

Yeah....not sure where the comparison between the two comes from...lol.