Cautionary Tale - American Women........

[Muj]

Lily,

You miss the point.  The advert says she is spectacularly beautiful,,, trust me, a girl who truly is that beautiful wouldn't still be single by the age of 25.  All the girls who meet that description are off the market by the time they are 21.

I was just having a little fun with you here. 

BTW, the most beautiful girls in the USA are all living in Dallas, Texas, not in NYC.

JB,

Single women outnumber single men by a huge factor in NYC, maybe 2:1.  So maybe not so unbelievable that an attractive one, by any standards, is single.  My cousin worked for a large modeling agency in NYC and appeared on the cover of Cosmo, on suntan lotion ads, etc.  She was single til about 30.  Didn't marry a millionaire either.

[wxman]

I agree it could very well be a hoax and not written by a woman looking for such a man. It could very well be a college student (male or female) doing some assignment or research on the male psyche and his reaction to such a letter. Seems like all the following posts on Craigslist after her letter are from men. The bait was applied and was quite effective in getting responses.

[USCFAN]

Wait a minute ... 500K is 'middle-class' ?


I want to be middle class !!!


 

[wxman]

Wait a minute ... 500K is 'middle-class' ?


I want to be middle class !!!


 

You are now as the dollar isn't worth much.    Of course you would still be poor in Canada with the higher value of the loonie. 

[Phil dAmore]

Lily,

Does the term "hoax" mean anything to you?  How about "urban myth"?

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

You decide.

[Lily]

Agree that we never know about veracity of the posters. However, I don't think this is an issue to think about it. If a question is asked, it probably deserves to be answered.
IMHO the form of the question makes it somehow trustworthy. If someone wants to know what she is doing wrong in her endeavour, that creates some credibility at least. When I came from the States with a diploma in hand, rented a flat in Moscow and despite all my networking efforts I could not land a job in the city for months, I started contacting my networkers asking primarily for an advice on what I am going wrong here.

[jb]

When I came from the States with a diploma in hand, rented a flat in Moscow and despite all my networking efforts I could not land a job in the city for months, I started contacting my networkers asking primarily for an advice on what I am going wrong here.

Either I missed a critical post somewhere or that begs a few questions.

[Gator]

JB,

Lily can speak for herself, but just believe me when I say there is much more to her than meets the eye.  Interesting background and well traveled.

[jb]

Of that I have no doubt.

[Phil dAmore]

When I came from the States with a diploma in hand, rented a flat in Moscow and despite all my networking efforts I could not land a job in the city for months,

Funny, I always thought the reasone one went to college in the first place was to make contacts.  Oh yeah, there's also that whole education thing....

The first rule of real life:  NOBODY cares what your GPA was.

Forgive me folks, I'm in a mood tonight....

[ScottinCrimea]

It's like the old saying, "What do they call the one who graduates last in his medical class?'...........Doctor

[Blues Fairy]

Funny, I always thought the reasone one went to college in the first place was to make contacts.  Oh yeah, there's also that whole education thing....

Some people go to school in foreign countries without any particular desire to stay there.  Some just go to "see the world", see how it works out, and then come back if they so decide.  What's so weird about it? 

P.S. A US diploma and work experience in a western company is a plus in many Moscow-based companies, especially offices of international vendors.

[Phil dAmore]

P.S. A US diploma and work experience in a western company is a plus in many Moscow-based companies, especially offices of international vendors.

As long as you are under 35 or so.  Get past 45 and nobody wants to know your name regardless of how many diplomas you hold or how much work experience you may have.

[Kuna]

Hoax or not... these women exist - and in certain communities they are more common than we might want to believe.

Before I decided to look to FSU I had an active dating life her in Oz...  the girls I dated were from all age ranges (under 30 -  ) and generally from professional fields (bar a few air hostesses, models, "unmentionables").

Only once in my home city did I date a girl where the conversation turned to money, my income, her expectations and her "vision for her future life".  It was a first date... and I terminated it after pre-dinner drinks.

In the 18 months before I went to Ukraine I commuted to Sydney.  I lived in a central city 5 star hotel (a suite - not a room) but ate out most nights.  I would regularly meet beautiful new women (girls) and was shocked one night when a girl said to me, "You're great, really funny, a great guy... but I don't want to waste anyone's time."  Then she opened my suit jacket to look at the label and said, "I just need to make sure you earn enough money for me".

I was shocked.  Her audacity was incredible - but I had no comeback...  The moment was lost. Any interest in this girl was gone in a matter of seconds.

Not one month later I met another beautiful young woman in the same restaurant/bar.  We were having a great time over drinks and the flirt-o-metre was going off the scale... suddenly she shamelessly asked my income explaining that many men that go to this bar pretend they have real money when they don't.  She coldly told me what sort of income she was seeking (she thought she'd set her standards high... I easily exceeded her expectations) and that if I was above her minimum limit she wanted to pursue more than just laughs in a bar.

This time I must have been subconsciously prepared...  I immediately responded by asking about specific sexual adventures I expected (in as foul of detail as I could muster)... and with that she said, "That's disgusting... You're treating me like a prostitute".

I told her, "She was being treated like one because she was one... whether she recognised it or not"... and then I walked off.

In our wonderful city of Sydney I met one other girl who really was the straw that broke the camels back.

I admit I shouldn't have expected much because I met her when she was out on a date with another guy.  I interjected into the date during the night and while he was in the toilet I got her phone number.  We went for dinner a few nights later and over dinner she told me what she was looking for and that she was starting to get worried because she was 28 and still hadn't found it.  She said if she hit 30 and was still single she would marry a "rich, old, ugly guy" and have kids with him - then divorce him to take all he had".

I finished my dinner, paid the bill, and told her I was going downstairs to the bar and preferred her not to come with me.  She couldn't understand why I didn't want to continue the date and I told her she was just not the sort of person who I could respect.

We left, and a little later she came back saying she still didn't understand and wanted me to explain.  I did and she said that was ridiculous... and we should go back to my hotel to talk about it.  "No thanks, I'm looking for somethign that you can't be".

I KNOW these women are not typical of the women you will find in Australia or the west but in certain circles THEY DO EXIST.

The most vile aspect of them is that they don't realise how disgusting they are. I don't blame them, but I blame our society for creating them!

Eventually I realised I was not going to find the type of wife (and future mother) I was seeking inside my current circle.  Sure, I could have went bush and dated a good wholesome country girl but I felt it was unlikely I would find someone I was mentally and emotionally connected to. I could have dated a "city girl minus the career" but I couldn't see myself happy with the types I identified as "career-less city girls".

Instead I went to where my roots are... and I found the most marvelous and amazing personality wrapped in the most gorgeous and beautiful wrapping you could imagine.

We laugh, joke and play...  we also talk, and philosophise and plan.  What we do is together - mentally and physically.

She makes me want to be the best husband possible because that will be my contribution to the longevity of our love...  She does other things for me (and us) to solidify our current happiness.

I feel sad for the women I have dated in the past that are like those above, but at the same time I am repulsed by them. 

Sorry for the long rant...  my next post will be on our wedding.   

Kuna

[Nando]

I KNOW these women are not typical of the women you will find in Australia or the west but in certain circles THEY DO EXIST.

I disagree with you. These hot blondes of twenty something exist in every country (and in Russia and Ukraine) in huge number.
They check your wallet, the label of your jacket, the brand of your car and the market value of  your apartment.
They also have 150 guys trying to date them, 10 of which have money, are ugly, old and fat, 100 of them are young and good looking but flat broke while driving a luxury BMW, while 40 of them are just regular guys who think they can land a hottie.
That is why it is so easy to spot this "species" in the FSU, lots of experience in homeland

[Gator]

In America, the golddiggers are more subtle.  They first screen you simply by looking at your watch and shoes. 

If you pass that test, the next plateau is a dinner date where she will see your car, your sophistication, and your willingness to spend money. 

If you pass that test, it is a trip to your home to show your possessions.  After doing your thing there, you then tell them that they fail your test.

[KenC]

In America, the golddiggers are more subtle.  They first screen you simply by looking at your watch and shoes. 

If you pass that test, the next plateau is a dinner date where she will see your car, your sophistication, and your willingness to spend money. 

If you pass that test, it is a trip to your home to show your possessions.  After doing your thing there, you then tell them that they fail your test.

Gator,
Ahhh, you bring back my dating memories.   I don't know about you, but I sometimes felt like I was being measured for taxidermy to have my head hung on a wall somewhere.  Why, I even discovered one woman I dated for a few months had run a credit report on me! :zappedhim:

The sad thing about all this is that this type of behavior is borderline acceptable in our society.  In some twisted way, it is acceptable for a woman to take her measure of a man, but not the other way around.  For some reason it would be considered shallow and uncouth for us to take a similar tact.

I would be remiss not to say that my Lena is the most idealistic woman I have ever met.  Age, wealth and even physical appearance are all secondary to her ideals.  And her ideals "cut both ways" too.  As beautiful a woman as she is, she remains unspoiled and never plays on her beauty.  I remember once when she had just arrived here and I was gushing over her beauty.  She told me, "yes, OK, so I am beautiful, so what?  It doesn't make me a better person.  My beauty will fade over time and I will be left with the person I choose to be in spite of the beauty."  Some where in that statement tells the big difference between beautiful RW and beautiful AW. (Or at least one RW)

I have to also admit that Lena has changed the way I look at things too.  When we first met, I was so conditioned to playing the American dating game that I didn't know how to shut it off, to be honest.  This hot young woman has made me completely reevaluate many many things in a very good way. I will be forever grateful for her helping me become a better man.
KenC

[Christian]

Gator,
Ahhh, you bring back my dating memories.   I don't know about you, but I sometimes felt like I was being measured for taxidermy to have my head hung on a wall somewhere.  Why, I even discovered one woman I dated for a few months had run a credit report on me! :zappedhim:

The sad thing about all this is that this type of behavior is borderline acceptable in our society.  In some twisted way, it is acceptable for a woman to take her measure of a man, but not the other way around.  For some reason it would be considered shallow and uncouth for us to take a similar tact.

I would be remiss not to say that my Lena is the most idealistic woman I have ever met.  Age, wealth and even physical appearance are all secondary to her ideals.  And her ideals "cut both ways" too.  As beautiful a woman as she is, she remains unspoiled and never plays on her beauty.  I remember once when she had just arrived here and I was gushing over her beauty.  She told me, "yes, OK, so I am beautiful, so what?  It doesn't make me a better person.  My beauty will fade over time and I will be left with the person I choose to be in spite of the beauty."  Some where in that statement tells the big difference between beautiful RW and beautiful AW. (Or at least one RW)

I have to also admit that Lena has changed the way I look at things too.  When we first met, I was so conditioned to playing the American dating game that I didn't know how to shut it off, to be honest.  This hot young woman has made me completely reevaluate many many things in a very good way. I will be forever grateful for her helping me become a better man.
KenC

Lena - You go girl!

Christian