Why do men want to marry?

[2tallbill]

Have seen this quote in a recent thread.

Could you guys please share your opinions on why do you still want to marry a good woman? Why not leave everything as is and not to potentially increase problems in your life?

Many RM do not want to marry and prefer meeting nice women, having girlfriends and change them from time to time. Some men want to get a wife when things go bad, and when they need support; but as their life improves to the better, some may want to alter their opinion on relations. There is a saying, 'when one is doing no good, he looks for a woman. When one is going great, he looks for another woman'.

Also, how do you decide between making a woman a wife or a girlfriend? For the sake of hypothetical, let's assume there is about a woman of high quality.

I think that RM don't want to marry because they don't have to.

The old adage applies to them, "Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?"

So what is different about US men? Nothing, I believe for the younger men 18-30.
But for older previously married men (who are now pursuing RW), who know the benefits of marriage along with the perils.
An older man (over 40) an RW seeker (RWS) who has seen what available here locally and decided that he wants something better.
A RWS will have to marry an RW to keep her. Otherwise she goes back to Russia in 90 days after the issue of her K-1
A RWS will have spent several trips to see her, went through a ton of trouble, expense, paperwork, emotions etc.

A RWS will have know much of this in advance before his first trip. If he isn't serious about marriage, family etc it's just
too difficult to go on this venture. The question is that an RW has to determine is whether see is exchanging letters with

a RWS or a
KBR (key board Romeo) who will write but never visit or a
Sex Tourist, which come for sex by misleading an RW about his intentions.

Most RW that I have met have pretty good BSD (Bull sh!t detectors) hopefully they will be able to weed out the KBR and the Sex tourists

Bill

PS. I made up the term RWS maybe there is a better term already out there?

[Lily]

Well, in my question I don't mean the RW seekers. Just WM who think that something is missing in their otherwise comfortable life, and would like to find a good woman to enrich their life, irrespectively of her nationality.

[Taz]

Lily's comment would pretty much sum it up for me. I have a pretty good life and just want a nice woman to share it with. I am much closer to the affluent side of life than the effluent.

In general I don't care what nation there are from but there are some I will avoid. No Latin ladies need apply (or at least those with the Latin tempers), Phillipines or Korea. If they speak either Russian, German, Spanish or English we'll be able to communicate pretty well to excellent.

Most important to me is they can't be stupid. I am flexible in many areas such as height, hair/eye color or age but when it comes to intelligence, I need an intelligent woman.

[2tallbill]

Well, in my question I don't mean the RW seekers. Just WM who think that something is missing in their otherwise comfortable life, and would like to find a good woman to enrich their life, irrespectively of her nationality.

Lily's comment would pretty much sum it up for me. I have a pretty good life and just want a nice woman to share it with. I am much closer to the affluent side of life than the effluent.

In general I don't care what nation there are from but there are some I will avoid. No Latin ladies need apply (or at least those with the Latin tempers), Phillipines or Korea. If they speak either Russian, German, Spanish or English we'll be able to communicate pretty well to excellent.

Most important to me is they can't be stupid. I am flexible in many areas such as height, hair/eye color or age but when it comes to intelligence, I need an intelligent woman.

IMHO it is too damn difficult unless you make a conscious decision to be a RWS. An average Joe is not going to do everything required to get an RW. I have three different friends who were interested in RW when I started two years ago. They wrote letters, even some phone calls, but NONE of them ever got on a plane. Once they realized how expensive / difficult it is they gave up and wasted a number of ladies time. They were very excited to hear about my trips but never put the effort in themselves.

Taz: I am with you on the "Must be intelligent" because eventually a woman's beauty will fade and if you don't have intelligence then what will you have then?

Take care,

 Bill

[Alyona]

I agree with Chernoble.  There is more to marriage than piece of paper.

Marriage to me will always be to have children and family.  Marriage provides the cohesive support and bond needed to take care of the children either brought in or produced from that union.  I know older couples marry for other reasons (have someone to talk with, play with, etc) but the compatible partner has to have a generous heart and be able to care for the offspring not just think of their own enjoyment.

In the end both sides got to sacrifice somethings in marriage not just for themselves but for the human beings they create and raise together.  Those men who sleep around are trying their hardest to enjoy the fun without the responsibility (basically acting like children themselves) but once they get someone pregnant and she wants to keep the baby they will have a whole new world to get used to and without being in a pre-existing stable institution of marriage to deal with it.

Here is the example.  My husband and I had two wedding ceremonies. One the state required.  One was by my Priest in Orthodox Church.  The state ceremony did not matter to us. 

Both of us are Christian, family focused people who wanted children (we have a daughter and son).  For us marriage and family go together and have a spiritual foundation.  I did not want to marry someone who looked at marriage different from me.

Coming to America and adjusting was a sacrifce for me, leaving family, friends and country.  It took two years from our first meeting for marriage and we are still adjusting to each other.

Alyona

[Lily]

I agree with Chernoble.  There is more to marriage than piece of paper.

Marriage to me will always be to have children and family.  Marriage provides the cohesive support and bond needed to take care of the children either brought in or produced from that union.  

In Russia, I noticed an interesting tendency. Many of young RW and RM married following pregnancy. Even the most attractive men and women. Not sure whether they would marry if not a sudden unplanned pregnancy of the girlfriend.

[myrddin]

In Russia, I noticed an interesting tendency. Many of young RW and RM married following pregnancy. Even the most attractive men and women. Not sure whether they would marry if not a sudden unplanned pregnancy of the girlfriend.

You know, I think that's been known to happen sometimes in America, too 
But I personally only know one couple who originally married because of a pregnancy that is still together (ten years now).

I can't answer your original question for anyone else, but I certainly "would like to find a good woman to enrich their life, irrespectively of her nationality." 

Like Daveman, I am not seeking marriage for the sake of marriage, I am seeking a soulmate to share my life with.  Marriage is a reflection of the commitment to always share and support each other, even if things get tough.  I incidentally think that my perfect match will inspire me to be a better man (I know, hard to believe that when I'm so perfect already!  ), but that she'll do it without me feeling nagged.  And she won't *expect* or require a change.

Even though my first wife and I were meant to be good friends and not a married couple, I have had a taste of something like that, and it is at best very difficult to attain in single life.

[TexasBoar]

As one who continues to circle the topic of RW and for that matter, marriage, somewhat cautiously and tentatively, the conclusion I have come to is this:

I have a good life.  Sufficient income, good health, good friends, interesting hobbies, favored pleasures, comfortable routines.  But unless I "take the plunge" and allow myself to fall in love, to bring a woman into my life, nothing will ever change.

The one thing I can't do for myself is surprise me.

~Boar

[possum]

In Russia, I noticed an interesting tendency. Many of young RW and RM married following pregnancy. Even the most attractive men and women. Not sure whether they would marry if not a sudden unplanned pregnancy of the girlfriend.

I have noticed the opposite trend lately.. Young RW and RM do NOT get married even after they've had a baby together.. Two of the girls I went to school with are now single moms because the losers that knocked them up wouldn't marry them for nothing..

[Shadow]

I have noticed the opposite trend lately.. Young RW and RM do NOT get married even after they've had a baby together.. Two of the girls I went to school with are now single moms because the losers that knocked them up wouldn't marry them for nothing..

If that trick will not work any more the only thing RW can do to get RM is fill them with Vodka and drag them to ZAGS 

[possum]

If that trick will not work any more the only thing RW can do to get RM is fill them with Vodka and drag them to ZAGS 

It wouldn't do much good since ZAGS is the best sobering agent known to Russian mankind..

[Mod5]

TOPIC SPLIT - If you are looking for the discussion on mortgages and income in Russia, it is now here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=6846.0

[MaxxumUSA]

Have seen this quote in a recent thread.

Could you guys please share your opinions on why do you still want to marry a good woman? Why not leave everything as is and not to potentially increase problems in your life?

Many RM do not want to marry and prefer meeting nice women, having girlfriends and change them from time to time. Some men want to get a wife when things go bad, and when they need support; but as their life improves to the better, some may want to alter their opinion on relations. There is a saying, 'when one is doing no good, he looks for a woman. When one is going great, he looks for another woman'.

Also, how do you decide between making a woman a wife or a girlfriend? For the sake of hypothetical, let's assume there is about a woman of high quality.

Lilia,

Sorry for the late response as I just today notice this thread...

In any case...  to answer your original question about why would we want to marry.   For me it is simple.   I have always wanted a long term, permanent relationship with ONE woman.  I have found that seeking a woman here in the USA is next to impossible to find the same desire in a woman.

I'm NOT saying that russia is the ONLY place in the world to find a woman that has the desire for a soul mate or things of that sort.  BUT...  once you start seeking Interationally for a partner I think both of you (us) at that point in time is realizing that you (we) are meeting for something very serious.  Certainly something more serious than a one night stand from a bar.

So... in conclusion I am trying to say that the whole thing for me comes from a desire for stability in a relationship with ONE woman.  that simple.

If by chance that stability could be achieved without marriage I don't know about such prospects.  In my mind the best way to have a partner in life is to share all with her.  In order to do that the best way in my mind is marriage.

- Maxxum


PS  - I am SO VERY happy I found my wonderful wife to share this life with.  Definitely the right choice!