Newbee test

[corncrowe]

Here is a letter I received from a forty year old woman in Russia.  She approached me from my profile on love.mail.ru.  It was her second letter to me.  I had asked the basic questions and this letter should represent some response to my inquiry.

Here's the test.  Try to pick out the five most important aspects of this letter where a potential scammer would connect with you.  What does this letter tell you about the woman?  What point is she trying to make?  How does she go about soliciting a respond from you? 

Good luck class,

Jon

----

Dear Jon
Ok,I'll try to give you a good  reply. I'm a very well educated woman, grown in a very intellectual family with high human values. So, I'm not here for any adventure or for simply finding a man. I'm here to claim my destiny, to find the man partner of my life, as they say to find my soul mate.
A soul mate is someone who has the unique ability to bring out the best in us. Soul mates are not perfect, but perfect for us. While they can bring out the best in us, without good communication skills they can also bring out the worst in us, and vice versa. We are not just physically turned on to them; our soul gets turned on as well. There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire and is short-lived. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four. Soul Mates Are Not Perfect Another important insight about soul mates is that they are never perfect. They will not have everything on your list of ideal qualities. They come with baggage. They, like you, have good days and bad days. They may not look the way you thought they would look, they may have flaws that you don't like very much. They are not perfect, but when your heart is open and you know them, they are somehow perfect for you. The love you spontaneously feel for a soul mate is the foundation for learning to share your life with someone who in many ways is very different from you. That love motivates you to cooperate, respect, appreciate, cherish and admire that person. In this process, which is not always easy or comfortable, you become a better person. Your soul has a chance to grow. ... we are not satisfied with dating just anyone attractive, nice or interesting to us. We want something more than just a good time or fun together. We want a deeper and richer opportunity to know someone and to be known...That's how I feel about soulmates and truly think it's heaven sent when you meet that person but you must work at the relationship to build it. Mind you when you truly love someone it's not work it's a pleasure, it's a matter of being positively passionate....... Could you be THE ONE reading this? I need to see your eyes
Yours,
Larisa
 

[PeeWee]

The letter is general in nature and could be sent to anyone or any number of men. It does not mention you by name. It reads like it came from a text book or from a magazine article. It may be too well written to be written by a Russian. It does not tell you anything specific about her nor does it ask you anything specific about you. And that soul mate stuff is a bunch of crap. What a worn out concept it has become.

 

PeeWee

[itstime]

That soulmate stuff is not a bunch of crap. I don't know if it is still widely believed by women in the states but it used to be before that disaster book about "The Rules" came out. In Russia, this soulmate stuff is very popular and in all the women's magazines. On dating sites when you see a woman who says she is looking for her "other half" or "second half" she is literally translating the Russian term for soulmate. The woman above is obviously much better at English and uses the correct translation.

There is nothing in that letter that is unusual. Scammers come in all shapes and sizes and use all kinds of different techniques trying to masquerade as sincere women. This woman seems to be totally sincere and she is laying it on the line for you. She is not looking for money, cars, big house, etc. She wants love pure and simple. And she doesn't need any keyboard romeos who won't hop over to Russia for a visit. Like she said she needs to see your eyes. Seems to me a scammer would not say that because scammers like to fall in love sight unseen.

 

[Bruno]

If you don't already know this, you should. Every lady's favorite subject is herself. Don't go on and on rambling about yourself. Ask questions. Even general questions at first will impress her with your attentiveness. However, don't forget to ask questions that are important for the selection process. It's never too soon to start weeding the field. The question might be as simple as, "I like to take walks in the rain because the whole world seems fresh. What do you like to do on a rainy day?" If I know women, they will most likely answer, "Sleep all day," but you can ask just the same. Maybe your passion is skydiving, and you are only interested in a woman with adventurous spirit. This one question could send a lot of candidates to the circular file. Maximize the effectiveness of your letters by asking the important questions.

There are a few more issues about asking questions. Watch out for the Parrot response. Some women will answer with what they think you want to hear. If you lead, they will follow. Example: "I like suchansuch. Do you like suchansuch?" Of course, the answer will be, "Yes!" Even if they don't know what a suchansuch is. From time to time, throw in a question without explanation. Another great tip for finding out a person's attitudes and disposition is to ask questions in supposition. Example: "Suppose you are sailing in the ocean. Your boat sinks, and you swim to a small deserted island with nothing but the clothes you are wearing. What would you like to find on the island?" You can learn a lot about a lady's personality this way. If she answers, "Food and water," she's probably practical; "A cellular phone," she's a thinker; "A million dollars," greedy; "Ten studley Polynesian men," well, just run away.

Jon, what do you think she can reply... i hope for you not the "ten studley Polynesian men" :D:D

In any case, for analyse a reply to question, the question is needed... so, your post is not accurate enough to judge someone...

[Shadow]

What interests me is that the letter was written in good English. This is not the usual Promt language. Maybe Fat Yuri did spend the money a guy send for English lessons to take them. He might end up marrying soon.

Jon, Your basic questions were :

- why are you on the internet to find a husband

- what do you look for in a partner

Better be more original in your questions, and you will get better replies.

[corncrowe]

Here's just the opening letter to her, and you've already read her reply.  I did ask twice about her personal life, family, and work.  Both times I got stock "form" letters that could be written for anyone.

--

What a nice letter,  thank you!  I found it very interesting and I do want to learn more about you also.  I feel as though I know so much about you, but also so very little.  Like, do you have children?  If yes, how many and where are they today?  Do you like your work?  What is it you do?
--

I had asked for another photograph because the one in her profile was just a head shot.  She mentioned in both letters to me about "overlooking flaws" and "accepting the past mistakes".  Huh?  It was like she was prepping me for something.  Here's her picture.

She was the one who originated contact, so I just assumed she would give me more to go on than vague ideals of a relationship.  I hadn't written her back since that last letter because it was like she couldn't hear what I was saying and just kept talking.

Jon

[Shadow]

I'd better not touch the subject but who knows it might be your old 'girlfriend':P

[corncrowe]

I'd better not touch the subject but who knows it might be your old 'girlfriend':P

Wrong country...

  

[PeeWee]

Jon, you asked the class a question. You have received a few answers. So what do you think about it?

 

PeeWee

[corncrowe]

Jon, you asked the class a question. You have received a few answers. So what do you think about it?

 

PeeWee

PeeWee,

My personal feelings when I was solicited, great.  I had a nice introductory letter from her.  I sent a reply and asked a few questions.  She sent me a "boiler plate" response that "on the surface" seemed quite sincere.  So I sent a reply with some additional questions.  Again, another formist letter with no mention of my questions. 

I never replied after that because obviously she is trolling the love.mail.ru list of foreign men in my age group.  I believe she has this letter on file, or at the least will send it to several men.

I stopped believing most of what I read from these women.  I received two "winks" in the past few days from "girls".  Women under twenty five.  I don't even bother to respond.

Now I have a few women who wrote me that are 40ish.  I like the age difference to within 10 years or so. 

This woman makes the fifth one in less than a month who may or may not have good intentions.  But I learned to read more carefully, ask questions, and move on if I don't get a satisfactory answer within one or two letters.

Class is over!

Jon

[PeeWee]

Jon, you asked the class a question. You have received a few answers. So what do you think about it?

 

PeeWee

PeeWee,

My personal feelings when I was solicited, great.  I had a nice introductory letter from her.  I sent a reply and asked a few questions.  She sent me a "boiler plate" response that "on the surface" seemed quite sincere.  So I sent a reply with some additional questions.  Again, another formist letter with no mention of my questions. 

I never replied after that because obviously she is trolling the love.mail.ru list of foreign men in my age group.  I believe she has this letter on file, or at the least will send it to several men.

I stopped believing most of what I read from these women.  I received two "winks" in the past few days from "girls".  Women under twenty five.  I don't even bother to respond.

Now I have a few women who wrote me that are 40ish.  I like the age difference to within 10 years or so. 

This woman makes the fifth one in less than a month who may or may not have good intentions.  But I learned to read more carefully, ask questions, and move on if I don't get a satisfactory answer within one or two letters.

Class is over!

Jon
[/quote]
Thanks, man. I was thinking the same as you. Did you catch my post about the Ukraine woman who sent me a photo of Heidi Klum and told me it was her? I played her along for three letters and then when she told me that her father needed an operation and she needed money I sent her 4K? Just kidding. I told her that I would give her the money but that I would fly to Ukraine to meet her and to give it to her in person. I did not here from her after that.

PeeWee

[PeeWee]

Jon, what are you doing? It sounds as if you are still looking for the one. I thought that you had found a lady in Moscow? Am I thinking of someone else? You want me to round one up for you when I visit Moscow next week? I'll find a good one for you, man.

 

Pee/wee

[Photo Guy]

Here is a letter I received from a forty year old woman in Russia.  She approached me from my profile on love.mail.ru.  It was her second letter to me.  I had asked the basic questions and this letter should represent some response to my inquiry.

Here's the test.  Try to pick out the five most important aspects of this letter where a potential scammer would connect with you.  What does this letter tell you about the woman?  What point is she trying to make?  How does she go about soliciting a respond from you?  

Good luck class,

Jon

Thanks Jon. This could be fun.

----

Dear Jon
Ok,I'll try to give you a good  reply. I'm a very well educated woman, grown in a very intellectual family with high human values. So, I'm not here for any adventure or for simply finding a man. I'm here to claim my destiny, to find the man partner of my life, as they say to find my soul mate.
The 'claim my destiny' remark is entertaining and too lofty for my tastes.
A soul mate is someone who has the unique ability to bring out the best in us. Soul mates are not perfect, but perfect for us. While they can bring out the best in us, without good communication skills they can also bring out the worst in us, and vice versa. We are not just physically turned on to them; our soul gets turned on as well. There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
I like this analytical approach to 'connecting'. I use it myself, but her writing style is very masculine, as though written by a man.
 Physical chemistry generates desire and is short-lived.
Too simple-generalization.
Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love.
No, love involves all four.
 A soul mate includes all four. Soul Mates Are Not Perfect Another important insight about soul mates is that they are never perfect. They will not have everything on your list of ideal qualities. They come with baggage. They, like you, have good days and bad days. They may not look the way you thought they would look, they may have flaws that you don't like very much. They are not perfect, but when your heart is open and you know them, they are somehow perfect for you. The love you spontaneously feel for a soul mate is the foundation for learning to share your life with someone who in many ways is very different from you. That love motivates you to cooperate, respect, appreciate, cherish and admire that person. In this process, which is not always easy or comfortable, you become a better person. Your soul has a chance to grow. ... we are not satisfied with dating just anyone attractive, nice or interesting to us. We want something more than just a good time or fun together. We want a deeper and richer opportunity to know someone and to be known...That's how I feel about soulmates and truly think it's heaven sent when you meet that person but you must work at the relationship to build it. Mind you when you truly love someone it's not work it's a pleasure, it's a matter of being positively passionate....... Could you be THE ONE reading this? I need to see your eyes
Yours,
Larisa     Hmmm. Very sexy name.
 

The letter is long-winded and only makes a few points: She wants to find her soulmate and will know when she looks into your eyes. We should not expect perfection. In all of those words, she does not say much. I would reply with a lot questions. She did not ask you any. Her style is a turn-off, as though written by a male, Gemini or Aquarian. I'd tell her I will gladly look into her eyes, after a few months of emails and phone calls. Time to get past her idealistic glossy veneer. I can't tell if she's a scammer, YET. By the way, her letter begins with a high appraisal of herself. Not modest enough for my tastes, but that could be just a surface imperfection.

[Photo Guy]

Jon,
I would just keep on sending her this:

'Do you like your work?  What is it you do?'

until she answers you specifically.

[corncrowe]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

Jon,
I would just keep on sending her this:

'Do you like your work? What is it you do?'

until she answers you specifically.

Photoguy,

Sorry, but that dialogue is over...

Jon