Different strokes for different folks

[apple47]

         My path to marrying a RW ,from what I've read,is a bit different than most. When I started haunting the internet ,I was still married.  The marriage had died about 3 years earlier but I didn"t know it for almost 2 years. Working 84 hours a week has a tendency to make you dull to things around you.  The wife had her "friend" during this time and had no desire to give him up so we could take another run at it. Also during this time ,I retired. The company offered an early out and I took it.  So,I had a lot of time on my hands and was looking forward to many long motorcycle trips during the warm weather. 

            But ,I don't like riding by myself ALL the time. So I hit the internet looking for a woman that would like to take an occasional trip with me.  Had to be "dutch treat" and on her own bike.  Platonic was fine with me,I just wanted the company and I preferred female company.   Got absolutely no where with that.    Took a couple of trips to NC [ my favorite riding area ] by myself ,but on the last one came home a week early as I just wasn't enjoying all the alone time.

              Still living with the wife in the same house as room mates. A convenience thing.  But,beginning to feel lonely for someone to call mine.  I don't hang out at bars,don't go to church,don't belong to any clubs.  Was with the wife for 34 years,married for 28 by the time we divorced in 2004. What do I know about dating anymore. Logical place for me seemed the internet.  Both my sisters met thier husbands online and one of my brothers met his live-in on the internet.  They are all still together. So,I hit the internet again ,this time looking for a girl friend.   Filled out some profiles,sent some pictures and did much searching.  All on free sites.   One site had a hot list you could save your best possibles to and it also noted how many put you on thier hot list.  At one time my profile was entered on 50 hot lists.  How many emails did I recieve?  ZERO.     I sent out about 20 emails myself. How many returns?  ZERO     I'm thinking there must be something wrong with me.   I took pains to be absolutely honest when doing the profiles,so there wasn't anything I could change without being 'possibly"dishonest.  Where to go from here?

               Been avoiding it,but,lets give E-Harmony a shot.   Paided my money,answered all the questions,posted a picture,waited for my results.  A couple days or so later,I got 5 perfect matches. By thier reconning. All within 50 miles of home. Began working on some emails to send out .  Before I could finish,2 of my perfect matches blocked me from emailing them,by the next morning the other 3 did. Well,ain't that special. Maybe,,,,,,,the problem isn't me. I'm sure these women know that we could sent a thousand emails each to each other and I could only know what she allowed me to know. And this was true even on the sites before E-Harmony. So,why was I blocked?   They said it was something in my profile they didn't like.  Maybe they misunderstood something.   But,didn't have enough of a sense of adventure to ask about it.  I was 50 yr and was looking for 45-53 yr women.  Maybe they were all menapausel [sp]. 
              Enough of this crap,I just need to get used to being alone. I need to find a place I can pay cash for and get by on half my pension after a divorce. I'll work during the winter and go from MC rally to MC rally during the warm months.  Just take some pleasure were I find it.


                       We're getting to the RW thing.  Don't know how long a post can be,so, will continue on another.

                                                          ...Larry

               

             

[TwoBitBandit]

Hey Larry,

It sounds like you've had a rough run of it.

To me, you sound very vulnerable.

My advice to you is this: chase women back home and build up some more confidence.  Figure out what you're doing wrong.  Once you've done that, if you're serious about going to the FSU, take it slow.  Don't be a "one-week-wonder" train wreck story.

There are lots of great women in the FSU, but there are also women that will pick up on your "hungry" vibe and take advantage of you for it.

[Ooooops]

My advice to you is this: chase women back home and build up some more confidence. 

I don't think Larry's wife will approve this - Status: Married 3-5 years     

[TwoBitBandit]

I don't think Larry's wife will approve this - Status: Married 3-5 years     

After re-reading Larry's original post, I'm still confused.  It sounds like Larry was married for 28 years, got divorced in 2004, and has been co-habitating with his ex-wife since.  So, the status of "married 3-5 years" doesn't really agree.

I've read a lot of serious literature in my life, including my share of Dostoevsky, and I still can't figure out Larry's story.  Perhaps I need to return to the third grade... 

[steviej]

I don't think Larry's wife will approve this - Status: Married 3-5 years     

I'm guessing that the second half, upcoming, of Larry's post will explain that after his rejections, disappointments, and so forth, that he was happily successful in his pursuit of an FSU wife, that he got married in 2005, and is still married to this lady. That's my "happy ending" prognosis.

[Ooooops]

  Perhaps I need to return to the third grade... 

May be even earlier...    

We're getting to the RW thing.  Don't know how long a post can be,so, will continue on another.

[Ooooops]

That's my "happy ending" prognosis.

Ditto!   

[TwoBitBandit]

I'm guessing that the second half, upcoming, of Larry's post will explain that after his rejections, disappointments, and so forth, that he was happily successful in his pursuit of an FSU wife, that he got married in 2005, and is still married to this lady. That's my "happy ending" prognosis.

If the ending is going to be happy, then why am I so nervous???? 

[Ooooops]

If the ending is going to be happy, then why am I so nervous???? 

Because you know that Boris and Natasha are up to no good?   

[apple47]

     Actually found a mountain in the Ozarks.  4 flat acres on top, the other 34 acres was woods. 3 bd ,2 bath shack on a slab.  $34,500 ,taxes were $178.00 a year. I could do that. 
 
         But,I'll give this internet thing one more try.  Signed up on Friendfinder. Its a pay sight if you want to email ,but,you can put up a profile and pictures and read profiles ,but,you have to pay to see picture or to email.  You can look at very small thumbnails for free.   Again I post a picture and fill out the profile. The questions on thier profile weren't as long as E-Harmony,but,a good bit longer than others I had done. Surprisingly complete,IMO.  So,back to the hot lists and searches.  Found a good one. In town. A nurse,45 yr. Couldn't make out the thumbnail,even with a magnifying glass to the screen,all brown,no detail.  Time to start paying.    This woman listed herself as thin and athletic.  I don't have a problem with some extra weight,but this woman was as round as she was tall. WTF!!!    And her lie just peed me off that much more.  To hell with this I'm going to get on the bike and take a ride to the ozarks and check out that mountain.

             A couple of days later I got an email from a woman on Friendfinder,  She is from a city somewhere in Siberia.   Her letter was fairly long and very interesting. The way she expressed herself was so different from anything I had ever seen before. There was no way I was going to go to Siberia ,but, I did want to continue to correspondence with this woman.  Her name was Mila.She was 45 yr ,a bit chubby ,but quite solid looking.  I wrote her back.  We corresponded a few times,but,her aim was to get together .I had no such desire because of the distance. If she was in the States I would have been there as fast as my bike would get me there.  So,I gently put an end to the letters. I sincerely hope she has found someone,she deserves to be happy and I believe she would make the right guy happier than he imagined he could be.
               
              During this time I also received a letter from some 24 yr girl from Russia.  She sent pictures and said I was just the guy she was looking for.  I kept writing back that she was much too young and too far away for me to consider any type of relationship.Besides a woman that young is going to want kids,I've raised 2 of my own and I ain't making anymore babies either accidently or on purpose.  But,she kept writing and sending pictures anyway.  I quit answering and finally she stopped as well.   

                Mila got me curious,so I found some RW dating sites and began checking out profiles. Must have looked a thousands of them. Being retired I had lots of time for it.   Bought an e-book and read whatever I could find about Russian women online. Even bought a paperback book,I believe it was called "The Russians".   I even started to write a 46 yr woman from Riga,Latvia. Very pretty,but a bit aloof,though that could have been my fault.  Ended it after about a dozen e-mails. Still unconvinced about traveling half around the world for a woman.

                 It got to be time to figure out what I was going to do,what do I want,or maybe the better thing is to figure out what I need.  So,I spent about 6 weeks making lists of wants,needs,don't wants and very definately don't needs,and analyseing[sp] all this as it developed.  My conclusion was that I needed to be married to be happy. Kids were ok as long as they were beyond the toddler age and I could handle as many as 3 of them.  I then went to my profile at Friendfinder and removed all my preferences as they pretained to physical attributes.  I intended to concentrate on my needs and only invoke my wants if what I found was too terrible to consider. 

                    IIRC,Friendfinder has a chart that gives the number of people on the sight from the various areas of the world.Seems every little corner was covered. Finding this ,I also found that Friendfinder could do a reverse search.  It would take your profile and find those that are looking for you.

                        So now I have a mission,to find a wife.  But there are those needs.Still a bit abstract as far as the details are concerned.  While searching thru the RW dating sites there was one thing that seemed to be on very many of the profiles. These women were looking for someone to love and for someone to love them.  That for me,was all the needs rolled up into one .

                                  Will continue

                                               ...Larry
           

[apple47]

  Sorry for some confusion.  We were divorced in Jan of 2004,I moved out Oct 2004. We lived as room mates from about sept 2001 til I moved out. She aquired her "friend" a bit before xmas 1999 as far as I can figure it. I found out"for sure" about march/april 2001.

             I have decided to just jump in with both feet and go were it takes me.  I've always liked Ireland and I have a hope that I can find someone there. Looking specifically for a RW wasn't my plan.Well, the reverse search gives me 450 matches,every age from 16 to 70.   Now for the process of elimination.  Of these 450 only 31 are USA.  First part was to eliminate by age.  I eliminated those more than 10 yr younger and more than 3 yr older. I also eliminated all those without a complete profile and without a picture.  next was those with more than 3 kids and those with kids younger than 6 yr old.  The USA has dropped to 7 in number.  With these eliminations there are still over 200. Way too many.

               Unfortunately I can't seem to figure out how to pare this number down without turning to physical attributes.   Although a six foot tall woman with spike heels and a tight dress with a side slit would make me drool, amongst other reactions,she probably wouldn't want a 5'9" guy at her side. So I eliminated all those over 5'7".  My preference for hair has always been dark,or red,so I eliminated all the blonds.   By this time there were no more from USA.  Still there are over 50 left.  I have read that a guy should write to many,but I'm not interested in that,at least not that many.

                 Ran out of ideas how to get the number down to something managable. Mulled it over a few days ,and though I didn't really want to go there,I decided I would use the Zodiac.  I'm Gemini and my matches are Aquarious and Libra.IIRC.   Still have about 20 left.  Still too many for me.   Next up ,the Chinese Zodiac.  Found out there are 2 of those. The original and the newer one. The newer one was adopted when the Chinese adopted our calender so it is a bit different than the original.   I went with the original.  I am Dragon and my matches are Rat and Monkey IIRC.   Plugged that in and my list is now down to just 1.    I can handle that just fine.

               She is a RW living in Almaty,Kazakhstan.  8 yr 8 months younger than me with 3 daughters,9,11,16 yr old.  Wrote my first letter in April 2003,visited for 30 days in Sept 2003,  proposed after about 25 days. Visited again for 30 days in August 2004.Visited again in Feb of 2005 ,got married in Almaty, did a DCF ,My wife and 2 daughters arrived june 2005,the third daughter was/is going to school to be an architect. 

              Never felt the connection to anyone that I feel to my wife,ever. How I came to marry a RW may seem strange  to you,but my wife has told me a number of times "you are a strange man", so it probably is strange.  But,she loves me and I know it and thats what matters above all else.

                                                           ...Larry

[Ooooops]

Wow!   Chinese horoscope, a?   

But,she loves me and I know it and thats what matters above all else.

I wish you and your family all the best in your Ozarks Mountain paradise!    (we went there for 4th of July party ones, beautiful place)

[apple47]

  Ooooops,,sorry for some more confusion.  The Ozarks was where I had considered moving to if I got to the point of not trying anymore.  We started out in the SE corner of WI where I was born and raised and lived my life . We have built a house in KY and my wife and daughters have been there since Aug of 2007,I am still splitting my time between WI at our still unsold house and the house in KY.

  TwoBitBandit,,don't know how you read vulnerable in there. Exasperated was more the way I was feeling. 

[Ooooops]

Kentucky is nice too.   Good bourbon   

[Makkin]

Hi,

 Congratulations.

Makkin

[Misha]

Working 84 hours a week has a tendency to make you dull to things around you.

Are you still working 84 hours a week? It may be hard for a RW to go live with a husband who will be away all the time working. She will be going through culture shock, and you will be working. She will be lonely and bored, and you will be working. She will start to consider that she is a bird in a gilded cage, and you will be working. The first year is the hardest, so working long hours will make it that much more difficult for her and you.

[apple47]

  Misha,,,I'm retired from an auto plant and now work as a steamfitter/pipefitter as jobs are available and as they fit my purpose.  Not to be rude,,but as to the rest that you posted,I have to ask,,How much did you actually read?  As it should be obvious ,we are well beyond those issues.


                                                               ...Larry

[Misha]

  Misha,,,I'm retired from an auto plant and now work as a steamfitter/pipefitter as jobs are available and as they fit my purpose.  Not to be rude,,but as to the rest that you posted,I have to ask,,How much did you actually read?  As it should be obvious ,we are well beyond those issues.


                                                               ...Larry

I read the entire thing, and to be honest it was confusing. Fine, I won't bother replying to your posts in the future.