Back from Lipetsk

[dgellis]

Hey All,

I'm back.  I have just had the best 10 days of my life.  My GF (Lydia) picked me up at SVO-2, we drove 8 hours (Uggh!) through traffic around Moscow to Lipetsk and the fun began.

All I can say is that if you haven't gotten on the plane yet, you are missing some amazing experiences.  And if you're from the U.S., and have grown up in my generation (I'm 44), visiting a Russian city and talking with Russian people will really open your eyes.

Thanks to all of you for the advice on dealing with customs, etc.  Everything went well.  Preparation is the key to success here.

Learning to speak Russian was also a very wise decision that I made.  Everything was better because I spent the time and effort to learn basic Russian.  Even when I made a hash of what I was saying, the people I was with appreciated my effort and helped me learn.

Russian TV is awful!  (I laughed so hard at the bad over-dubbing)

Lydia is better looking than her pictures.  I cannot describe how much I enjoyed my time with her. For the first hour in the car, I just looked at her.  She was so beautiful that I just stared with this dumb look on my face.  My time with her was like a dream come true.  This beautiful woman, smart, capable, and Oh So Feminine wanted to be with me.  (Huh?)  I shut up and enjoyed every minute I had with her.

Leaving yesterday morning was brutal.  I am very attached to her.  She was fortunate.  Her friends stayed with her all yesterday and last night.

Anyway, I'm exhausted and really wishing I was back in Lipetsk with her and our friends.

Ask away Gents.

-D

[Kuna]

dgellis,

Sounds like a great trip... and sounds like another WOVO success story!

I'd love to hear your impressions of Lipetsk...  What surprised you?  What was different?  What could you never had imagined?

How was your apartment?  did you arrange it yourself or did your gf arrange?

Sorry, I know these are all of the basic little details but I enjoy hearing others impressions after their first trip.

Photos from your trip would be fantastic too!   

Kuna

Oh,  congrats on a successful first trip!

[dgellis]

dgellis,

Sounds like a great trip... and sounds like another WOVO success story!

I'd love to hear your impressions of Lipetsk...  What surprised you?  What was different?  What could you never had imagined?

How was your apartment?  did you arrange it yourself or did your gf arrange?

Sorry, I know these are all of the basic little details but I enjoy hearing others impressions after their first trip.

Photos from your trip would be fantastic too!   

Kuna

Oh,  congrats on a successful first trip!

Thanks Kuna,

Everything surprised me.  Once I got over that, I started looking and thinking.  To me, Lipetsk is a mix of Old Russia, Soviet Russia, New Europe, and bits of Americana.  Metro, which is not the tramway, is nearly identical to Sam's Club.  There were lots of supermarkets.  We even visited a mall.  There were buses, trams, and lots of traffic.

I could look up at nearly any time of the day and see fighter jets, usually in formation, flying to and from the big Russian air force base outside Lipetsk.  Man I loved watching those jets. 

I was thirsty the entire time I was there.  Someone here warned me to keep hydrated, but I didn't understand.  Now I do.  It was very humid, and I was always sweating.  I lost 10 pounds, I think.  (YAY!)  Finally, I told Lydia that we need to go out so I can get something cold to drink.  I found a 2 liter bottle of cold green tea and drank it all down.  I began to feel better after that.  The only place I found to get cold soda is restaurants.  Lydia keeps all liquids except milk outside her refrigerator.  I was constantly saying the Russian word for cold, холодный.  Diet Pepsi was awful.  Cold Coca Cola was ambrosia.

I had never imagined how modern her life is.  She has a small apartment, but it is full.  She has a microwave, washing machine, karaoke machine, computer, cell phone, TV, Internet, lots of make up, personal care lotions, etc., and her own car.  My preconceptions did not match her reality.  I stayed with her in her apartment.   It would fit in my attic, but it was cozy.  She has made it into a home for her and her daughter.  I adapted immediately.

The combination bath tub, sink, shower was interesting, but not hard to adapt to.  Her washing machine drains into the tub also. 

One thing that made me think was the way we dressed.  While home, we wore "house clothes."  In my case, that was sweat pants and no shirt.  When we went out, we changed into what I began to think of as "town clothes."  She would not let me out of the apartment until she had inspected me and made sure that I was fit to be seen in public.  I nearly fell off the couch when she pulled a shirt out of my suitcase and ironed it.  When I tried to stop her she looked at me like I had grown a third eye.  At some point I realized that I was a reflection on her.  If I did not look my best, she wasn't doing her part.  I stopped resisting, and helped her.  She would put on nice clothes, make up, perfume, etc. and check herself in the mirror across from the apartment door.

She didn't seem to want my help, but I explained that I had to help her.  So, she let me carry the keys, anything heavy, dry the dishes, etc.  I even cooked dinner a couple times.  Chicken Parmesan was a huge hit with her and her friends, though she was incensed at the price of Parmesan and Mozzarella cheese.  I cooked salmon also, and that wasn't a big hit.  I wouldn't dream of putting salt, pepper and "fish seasoning" on salmon.  She, and her friends, found it to be very bland.  I thought it was delicious with just a little lemon juice to wake up the flavor.

Oh!  Nothing says home like a steel front door.  Actually, I thought the steel doors gave a prison like feeling to the buildings.  The outside of her building is timeworn, but her apartment is very nice inside.

Her friends were lots of fun.  I can't emphasize enough that speaking a little Russian changes your entire trip, and the Russian people that I met really responded well to my effort.

I'll see if I can post some pictures.  The trip to Yelyets to see the old church there was interesting, as was the cliff overlooking the River Don.  I have a picture of us that I like also.

-D

[Kuna]

WOW!  What a great description of the things you saw, felt and thought!

I love hearing of first trip impressions, and based on your observations and conclusions I'm confident you'll be successful in your search.

A lot of people say what you did was impossible but you've proved it's not.  It's a credit to you and your lady.

When you get a chance I'd love to see some pics...  After your description i"m off to Google Earth to look at some sat pics!

Thanks,

Kuna

[KenC]

dgellis,
Thanks for sharing with us.  As good as RWD is in providing information, sometimes I think one day in Russia is better than a lifetime of reading here!    Every man here that has been to the fsu can relate to your thoughts.  I remember the first visit to my In Laws' flat.  I thought "what a dump of a building" from the outside.  Then my expectations grew even worse as we walked up the cement steps in a dark dingy stairwell.  The metal door did bring thoughts of a prison to me too as you said.  I was shocked by how nice the flat was once I entered (and removed my shoes of course)  Nothing can replace "being there."

Thanks again for sharing.  How did your relationship go with Lydia?  Any plans for a return visit?
KenC

[groovlstk]

Lydia keeps all liquids except milk outside her refrigerator. 

-D

Get used to this if you go the whole nine yards and marry.

Sometimes I think one of my chief responsibilities as a husband is making sure all juice bottles that my wife opened are ferried to the fridge before they go bad.

[msmoby_ru]

Dear Dgellis

You really reminded me of my first trip to Russia.


Everyone should read this short story, if planning such a trip - even if it is to a different city. So many preconceptions were blown away for me..and, I note for you.

Good Luck

[FootballDad]

Thanks DGellis for the report,

As a "newbie" (first-timer) who is going to Kiev and St.Petersburg in early July and staying in apartments with a lady, the stories about the apartment living and what to expect in food/drink/clothing preparation seems valuable.  I am really looking forward to experiencing alot of what you have experienced and as a great cook that I figure myself to be, I am sure I will have the opportunity to bring some North American taste to my lady and show her my household manners as well ... I just worry that my pet-peeve of keeping kitchen items in proper order (American-wise) won't upset her apple cart!

Again, thanks and anything else "odd" (to we Americans) you can think of can only help us future travelers to prepare better!!!

 

[Pike]

. . . as a great cook that I figure myself to be, I am sure I will have the opportunity to bring some North American taste to my lady

Again, thanks and anything else "odd" (to we Americans) you can think of can only help us future travelers to prepare better!!!

- - - - - - -

As a multi time visitor to several FSU cities, I would caution you to try to take with you the spices and other such small items that are required for your recipes.  Some of the standard spices we use in USA can be found in larger supermarkets, but some cannot.  Mustard is even hard to find.  The dressings we put on green salads also cannot be found.  But they have mayonnaise coming out their ears, so look at the ingredients on your favorite dressings and take along those needed to convert mayonnaise to something like Ranch Dressing, etc.

And you won't find a drop of cooking wine in all of Kyiv or SPb.  Chardonnay substitutes OK for white cooking wine, but nothing substitutes for Marsala red cooking wine.  Can't make veal or chicken ala marsala without the real thing.

These are just examples.

[ScottinCrimea]

Pike makes a good point.  Until I learned the translations for the various cooking spices, etc. I used and knew where to find them, I had to bring many of them with me.  There are some items that I just couldn't find anywhere, but most items can be found.  I just wouldn't want to spend a large part of my vacation looking for them. One of the most interesting things was to learn that they sell vanilla extract in powdered form.  It was mostly a guess on my part how much to use.

[SANDRO43]

but nothing substitutes for Marsala red cooking wine.  Can't make veal or chicken al Marsala without the real thing.

Sherry (Fino or Amontillado), if available locally, could produce a similar result, since Marsala owes its popularity to the English trader John Woodhouse discovering its similarities to the more-widely known Spanish and Portuguese 'fortified' wines (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marsala_wine) .

[dgellis]

Hi All,

Regarding my experience with Lydia.  I was cautious about writing about this as I did not want to set off the latent conflict here.  Lydia and I did not do anything the way that RWD recommends.  In fact, I did not find RWD until well after my relationship with Lydia was serious. 

She sent me an email message through http://russianbridesonly.com in February.  We had a couple polite exchanges through the web site and then she sent me her mail.ru address.  She speaks very little English and my Russian is, well, present tense only and hampered by lack of vocabulary.  In my favor are a natural ability with languages and 4 years of Latin in high school.

Very early on we decided that we were working towards building a family together.  I asked her "Is that we we are working towards?  We will determine if we compatible, and if so, build a family."  She replied "Yes."  At this point, I tried very hard to scare her away.  I told her everything about me, the good, the bad, the ugly and the rest.  I sent her current pictures.  I was scrupulously honest.  At this point, the only picture I had was the one from her profile.  It's not her best.  But I wasn't really interested in pictures.  I wanted to know who she was, and I wanted her to know who I was.  I'm 44 and not in great physical shape, so I did not feel like I could require her to be a model.  The net result is that we developed a level of trust very quickly.  I had the attitude, at this point, that she was great, but if she wasn't going to be able to live with me, then it's better to find out now.

Some pictures came.  Wow!  I'm thinking that she is pretty attractive.  Excellent.  This is better than I had hoped.  (Yes, I fell in love with the pictures)

A few days later, she told me that she loved me.  What?  Major red flags.  I immediately replied that I don't think we are in love yet, and I certainly am not there yet.  She was confused.  As it turned out, it was a translator garble.  She meant to say that she was growing very fond of me, and the translator (http://online-translator.com) decided that she loved me.  We got through that OK.

At this point I wanted more immediate communication.  I made a gmail account for her so we could use it's IM function.  It didn't work reliably as her computer was virused up.  I'm a professional geek, and I have some servers on the Internet, so I worked with her to install a chat client to work with my I.M. server.  This was a huge test for us.  But we did it.  We got some English only software installed on a PC in Russia running Russian Windows XP using only email and a few instant messages.  This indicated that we had sufficient patience and respect for each other to work through difficult things.

The chat client had a VOIP soft-phone built in.  I configured it to work with my PBX.  Now we had voice communication and reliable instant messages.

This is when the fun began.  We would spend between 1 and 5 hours a day on the phone talking and sending instant messages.  When we had nothing interesting to talk about, she would teach me Russian language.  She is trained as an art teacher even though she is the head chef at a restaurant.  She is a very patient woman, thankfully, and an excellent teacher. 

Still, I was wary of scams.  I contacted the folks at Russian Brides Only and they told me that she did not appear to be a scammer.  None of the usual warning signs were present.  This, combined with the amount of effort she invested in me, convinced me that she was sincere.

I asked for more pictures and she told me she did not have a camera.  I asked if I could send her my old digital camera as a gift.  She accepted.  I wrapped it in a Hooter's tee-shirt, boxed it up and mailed it to her.  She received it 10 days later, and I asked for a picture of her in my tee-shirt.  She did not want to give it to me.  At this point, i did not understand about "house clothes" and "town clothes."  I told her that I was not offended, but I was disappointed.  Well, she sent me the requested pictures.  To me, this was more indication of her sincerity.

Things progressed.  She wanted to meet.  I did not have a passport or the money for a trip as I had just taken my sons to Florida for two weeks.  So, I started raising the money and I got my passport.  I got my tax refund and my silly payment from the US government and off to Russia I went.

She is prettier in person than in her pictures.  I think I wrote that I just looked into her eyes for an hour while we drove from Moscow to Tula.  I could not speak in Russian.  I was too stunned.

We visited her friends, the city of Yelyets, had shashikli at a 300 year old farm outside Lipetsk where I met a Major of Infantry in the Russian army.  Everyone was great to me.  Of course, I was as polite as I could be.  I'm a firm believer of "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."  Lydia put it better:  "When running with wolves, howl like a wolf."  Well, I howled.  And every minute of the trip was worth it.

We decided to start the K-1 process while I was there.

-D

[KenC]

dgellis,
What a cool story.  I do question one thing:

I was cautious about writing about this as I did not want to set off the latent conflict here.  Lydia and I did not do anything the way that RWD recommends.

There is no official RWD way of doing things.  That is because there is so many ways to succeed in this that no one way can be held up as superior to others.

I also found it interesting about the backtracking on the "love" issue.  Maybe it was a misinterpretation and maybe it was her being a little premature, but so what?  Sometimes we hold these women to impossible standards without any regard to their language limitations.  I have always advised guys here to not hang on their every word, because sometimes things are lost in translation.

Lydia introducing you to her friends and family (?) was a very good sign too.  BTW, no scammer is going to spend hours a day teaching you Russian!

The only thing I personally would question is getting engaged so quickly.  I do hope you at least plan another trip before that is done? 
OK, I question two things. :noidea:  The Hooter shirt idea was a little tacky for my taste.  Seems like for her taste too. I only tell you this as a point from an outsider to consider.  Most of these ladies are classy women and a "Hooter shot" seems a bit beneath them.
Best of luck to you.
KenC