I'm Sunk Now Guys

[bruc]

Today I was having an enjoyable conversation with my fiance in the FSU,  as usual :-), and she got around to askiing me what I had been doing  most of the day.
I told her I had mopped the wood floors in the den, vacumned the carpet  in the bedrooms, dusted the furniture, washed the bedsheets and put  them back on the bed, washed and ironed some clothes, and was cooking  up some food for a few days to eat.
Then, here is where I "dug my hole" with her...I told her I sure would  be glad when she and the 10 year old that looks just like her, get here  so she could take care of some of these chores ....her reply...what  makes you think those things are going to change when we get  there....followed with "much laughter" from her.
Lesson here...don't ever "fess-up" ....I'm now a marked man...I have no words to say  LOL

Bruc

[Vlad]

Hey, you have got the point, right? She was TESTING you, seing how far you would give up and accept her. That's nothing wrong in sharing house work, yet you have to clearly demonstrate her that you are NOT DEPENDENT on any woman. Just let her know that if she really arrives at yours, she will have EQUAL duties, and will not be SERVED or BLESSED by you. Keep cool and self-sufficient. Women HATE men who kiss their ass! They seek challenge and love to play, so be ready to be tested all the time. Keep behaving like a MAN, and you will succeed.

Regards, Vlad  

[Maxx]

I would go one step further than Vlad (of course I am divorced from a RW but not for this reason )

I would tell her if you work during the day and she doesn't it is her and her daughter's job to clean the house. It doesn't take 8 hours a day for two people to clean a damn house. There is no reason that you to come home from work and put on an apron and share cooking meals. If she gets a full time job that is another matter. She doesn't like cooking a cleaning? Tough then go get a job and contribute to the family income. End of story.   

Good luck,

Maxx

 

[Aleksia]

Bruc, just tell that you think a marriage should be based on partnership and if you are working and taking care about a family, she has to invest something as well. In this case, by doing a housework. To make it a bit softer, you can tell, dear, if you will take care about housework, we will have more time for each other when I will come home.

In general, I do not think it can be a problem for a Russian woman to take care about a house. If she will not work for some time, she will have not much to do any way.

I can understand a bit her reaction. More and more often we can read articles in newspapers about Western men, who are just looking for a housekeeper and a person who will work 24 hours a day. So, maybe her reaction was just a reflection of this wrong, in most of the cases, opinion.

Such an article was again, just a couple of weeks ago, in one of the biggest Russian newspapers.

[Albert]

I think some missed the point here.  The gal in original post was not laughing because she intended to do no work.  She was laughing from scaring the guy a bit about possibility she would do no work.

But aside from her true intent . . . . my suggestions re these matters is to tell the gals, one and all, that you have never done any housework or cooking at all.  That way they are not starting out thinking you are going to be doing a lot of such work.  Then, after the two of you are together full time and IF you are so inclined, you can offer to let her teach you a few things to help around the house.

I have encountered all types of women in this regard.  Some have had no outside job, gladly accept living with me when I pay 100% of all expenses for every single thing, AND then they expect me to also do half of the household work.  These have always been short lived experiences for me and the gal, obviously.

Others work full-time at an outside job, pick up some food items etc. with their own money, and still refuse to let me lift a hand to do anything in the house.  Not even let me take my dishes to the sink.  My latest FSU woman is in this latter category . . . . and she is also the highest sex drive woman I have ever encountered.  These are just a couple of reasons she is a keeper for sure!!

[bruc]

I thank all you good guys for your ideas and suggestions. My fiance is  a "neat freak", and that is just fine with me. She and I have a lot of  jokes with each other and enjoy the humor between us.
She was only joking with me and that's all it was, but truthfully, I'll be more than happy to help her anyway I can.
They're leaving their homeland, their family, friends, and a total  different lifestyle compared to what we have here to relocate here with  me.
They'll both have a lot of adjustments , new kid in school from a  foreign country, new wife going to the local college taking ESL  classes, learning how to drive, learning how to shop in our grocery  stores, making new friends...the big thing is here, she's going to be a  full time wife, mother, stepmother, and grandmother, much bigger home  to adjust to...so much for her to get acustomed to that she's never had  in her life.
I'll not be going out with the boys, I'll not be watching every sports show on tv.
What I will be doing is committing to both of them to give them, me,us, a new start in life together.
I'll have to teach her how to use more and different appliances, how to  and how not to clean the house, when to turn left and not right...I  think a lot of you  understand what I'm saying....I was brought up  to help with the household chores, I see no reason to stop doing this  now and I'll make every effort to make sure they have a smooth  transition...even if I do have to "help out around the house".
I'm excited and look forward to doing my part to have a successful marriage.
You're a bunch of great guys and I've learned a lot from you...thanks for all your valuable info.

Tuller

[bruc]

And by the way...I signed my old blue tick hounds name to my last post,  I was gong to add but I forgot...the only hunting he's ever done is  trying to find his food and water, the wood heater in the winter, and  an a/c vent in the summer.
I'm sure" he'll" go into culture shock about 5 minutes after they walk in the door for the first time.
He'll not understand a word they're saying, and they'll not understand  that gosh awful howl he has when he "ain't" happy or something has  scared him when he's having a bad dream.
He's never had a woman around the house, nor a 10 year old female to  tell him what to do . He's never had his teeth brushed before, but I've  been trying to warned him about these things and our days of being laid  back bacherlor's is coming to an end and he might want to consider  relocating to a neighbors home.
Just southern humor tonight boys !

Bruc

[jb]

Bruc,

I think you'll do fine when they arrive.  You have the right attitude towards the adjustments they will have to make.

BTW, I'm the lone male in this house, I am surrounded by females, and  all the girls have advanced degrees of one kind or another.  My  labrador bitch has her phd from Bird Dog U, (majored in quail and  minored in water fowl).  The toy poodle has a master's degree in  "Cute and Cuddly", and my wife has a MS in math and science with a phd  in shopping.

If you are bringing over a wife and daughter, get ready for some fun.

[bruc]

Hi jb and thaks for your suport and humor. I'm sorta like   you....I've got three grown daughters all with degrees.. I paid for,  don't understand their lingo, don't want to understand their  lingo,  have no clue ...they're just like my fiance and the 10  year old coming over  with her mom...they all speak a different language for my old worn out  mind...I do understand the three granson's language...grand dad...I  WANT!...and they GET! 

Bruc

[Maxx]

I say this tonge in cheak with a slight reserve for it being a good idea. You might want to show your ineptness in the kitchen and in household choirs. Your fiancee being a neat freak may decide that she needs to take over. Go rent the movie the "Odd Couple" and play the part of Oscar Madison (Walter Matthau) when she gets here. When you come in with a salami tucked under your arm she may get the idea to serve all the food. Thus releaving you of all kitchen duties.   



Maxx

 

[catzenmouse]

 <snip>learning how to drive, learning how to shop in our grocery stores</snip>
Tuller

Be sure to Bubble Wrap your car real good.... and be prepared to find out that our food does not taste right and is not as good as what they had at home...

It sounds like you've got the right attitude and plan for a good future.

Ken

P.S. Elena has no problem with my watching football and hockey at all and has said that if I want to go to a friends house by myself to hang out with the guys its okay too. Couldn't imagine hearing that from any AW I know!

[bruc]

Thanks catzenmouse for your input and suggestions.  Over the many  months of our correspondence, I had mailed them a lot of our foods ( in  the box type ) , such as the Success Rices, Bettery Crocker Mashed  Potaotes (all different flavors )...the rice being the favorite of the  ten year old. My fiance "craves the Maxwell House coffee I sent her,  not the instant kind.
They love the instant cornbread mixes, the instant cake mixes( chocolate ), cereals, etc,
The ten year old tells me when they recieve ther monthly food package, they ATTACK  anything that's chocolate in it  .
On all the trips I've been over to visit them, I always carry more food stuffs...some of it to "keep me going" ....
I'll try the salami thing for certain...I just can't give-up fishing for them so they can either go with me or stay at home

Bruc

[catzenmouse]

Brownie mix is a big hit in our house with both of them. Elena loves Kahlua and milk and Irish Cream and milk too. And the Green Apple Zima is quite popular as well. Of course for her being the big drinker that she is that means 1 or 2 a week.

The Adventure Continues...

Ken

[bruc]

Ok...I'm putting those two girls a new care package together...thanks  catzenmouse, I got the brownies today, hadn't ever noticed or consider  those chocolate goodies.
If I keep this up sending chocolates over there, and when I go to  fetch them and bring them home with me, they'll be gained so much  weight I'll have to buy five tickets...one for me and two each for them  

Bruc

[Albert]

Bruc, sounds like you have a lot of experience in shipping items over there.

So what has been the success rate of them actually getting (in decent shape) the items that you have sent?

And do the local postal workers or shipper representatives or customs officials over there try to 'shake down' your lady friend with respect to paying something for the items received?

What shipper or methods do you use for these items and what city, country are you shipping to and what is range of prices you are paying?

Thanks

[bruc]

Hi Albert, and Happy Holidays everyone.
I send, on the average, two packages a month to the girls. One is  usually food items  ( in the boxes or blisterpack ) only., and  another package with what I called their Personal things. Such as  clothes. etc.
I buy their shoes (sneakers) here, usually rebooks because that's what  they like, two pairs here for less that one pair of the same over  there.. shirts. sweaters, jeans...and  always four pairs of  pantyhose for each one of them (monthly).
If I"m in a store and I see a shirt, sweter, blouse, etc, that I think  would look great on them, then I will get those for them. Not an  abundance, just to keep smiles on their faces and an extra changing of  some things, especially the ten year old for school.
I always send the 10 year old pencils, pens and a few play things.
I "always" send their things US Parcel Service Express Mail and have  never once had a problem with them getting anything and they've  never  been harrassed over there in anyway from their postal  service.
The food items usual cost me anyhwere from $40.00 to about $100.00 and  sometimes the other package runs a little less or about the same.
When I fill out the customs form, and I get it full, I always write "see attached list in package".
I list everything that's in the box, "taped to the very top items" and  the actual price I paid for it, and most of the time I leave the price  tags on the items.
They tell me their packages are opened by customs in Moscow but not in  their city and everything is always in the box that I sent them.
I always send them an email to let them know it's been mailed and whats in the box.
I had no problems with these items either: hair dryer with attachments,  electric curling iron, electric hair rollers, walk-about cd and mp3  player, a Snow White watch, inexpensive digital camera, batteries,  music cd's the ten year old likes , black leather coat and boots,  tennis racket and tennis balls.
Some of those items were for birthdays and Christmas presents and I  "always" put a card in there wishing them for such with pictures of us  together in the cards.
It usually takes about 11 days for them to recieve their packages.
I hope this has helped.

Bruc

[eurosun]

Kitchen and home cleaning are women territory mainly for FSU girls, don't even talk with her about that things, just keep a blank space about that with her, she must fill it when she came to you. Also, they usualy don't like help from us (man) on kitchen or anything else except when they ask for help.

Regards,

[catzenmouse]

I don't agree with that. Elena and I share the cooking, cleaning,  laundry chores equally. She likes this arrangement and often prefers my  cooking. I think this, like all things is very individual to each woman  and to each couple.

Ken

[Nastya]

Kitchen  and home cleaning are women territory mainly for FSU girls, don't even  talk with her about that things, just keep a blank space about that  with her, she must fill it when she came to you. Also, they usualy  don't like help from us (man) on kitchen or anything else except when  they ask for help.

Yes and No. Usually ANY help in the kitchen and about the house is  welcomed and appreciated, especially if you don't have to ask for it.  Speaking for myself, my mom, and most of my female friends...

I like when my guy sticks around the kitchen and helps - this way its  not just ME cooking, for instance, but US cooking. Its less of a chore  and more like fun Thats just me, but I'm out of the ordinary

:brightidea: A  friend of mine married a guy who wouldn't help around but when she'd  set out to do the dishes and clean the kitchen - he would sit down with  his guitar and play just for her LOL

[jb]

I like when my guy sticks around the kitchen and helps - this way  its not just ME cooking, for instance, but US cooking. Its less of a  chore and more like fun Thats just me, but I'm out of the ordinary

I don't think you are out of the ordinary at all, my wife and I often  share cooking and cleaning chores around the house.  Some things  she is better at than me, and there are some dishes I do better than  her, and just about any idiot can load and unload a dish washer.

It's called,  "a marriage".

[Nastya]

Damn! I meant to say I am NOT out of the ordinary, which was the whole point of my post!! LOL

Sitting here, dwelling on my own stupidity!! :cool:

[BC]

Really off topic Nastya.. how in the world did you get all that mana with 8 posts?

Must be that feminine 'touch' LOL

BTW a good part of the time I was in RU I was cooking for wifey and the inlaws.. they love Italian fare.

[Nastya]

Really off topic Nastya.. how in the world did you get all that mana with 8 posts?

Must be that feminine 'touch' LOL

Actually no idea!!! I was just searching the board to find out what Mana is all about ) Found some stuff in Odds and Ends

I'm afraid it's a mistake though :dude: if not... its like WOW!!!!

[BC]

Nastya,

In this virtual world ruled by pure logic such blatant errors would have appeared long ago..

You obviously have quite a fan club!:D

enjoy!

[Nastya]

Nastya,

In this virtual world ruled by pure logic such blatant errors would have appeared long ago..

You obviously have quite a fan club!:D

enjoy!

THAT'S JUST TOTALLY COOOOL!!!