Do the GOLDEN RULES really work?

[Ravens9273]

I am curious to see if anyone has been successful with the famous "GOLDEN RULES" (guidelines).

What I mean by this is many give advice to not write a lady unless they are prepared to make a trip to FSU within 3 months.

Write many ladies

Visit many ladies.

Back up plans etc...

Reason I am curious if these Golden RUles work is I know from myself (26 months writting. 1 women writting, I women visited for 1 month first trip).

I also have had others write me here with similar story to mine who are married and also wrote for long time periods to visit just the one lady.

Now I am not recommending others to follow my path. However I am curious as to how many successful marriages resulted in the "Rules" (guidlines).

I honestly do not think I would have had the success I did if I had followed them.
Our long corespondence showed we were both real. Our first meeting was much more meaningful because of the long time we spent getting to know each other.

But I would love to hear others input on it.

This is not a thread of me saying they do not work. Do not misunderstand what I am writting.
I started this thread in hopes to see if the guidelines have worked for others in the result of a successful marriage.
I only know from those who wrote to me with success that they also did not follow these paths.


Wish everyone the best.
Tomorrow I head off to Ukraine. When I return my wife will be with me.

[Simoni]

Reason I am curious if these Golden RUles work is I know from myself (26 months writting. 1 women writting, I women visited for 1 month first trip).

My heartfelt congrats to you, Raven.  Your story is beautiful.

Does it apply to all?  No, not all.

Personally, I did write one girl for six months before meeting her.   I won't say that hundreds of letters were wasted, but in our case, we were not the same together in person as we were in our letters.

So I tried again.  Another six months romancing one woman.  This time candy and roses and multiple emails each day.  When we met, the gulf was bigger than the pervious time.

I did one more EM write one visit one.   Only moderate chemistry.  But my standards were high.

WOVO worked for you.   It did not for me.

I did find the girl of my dreams on a WFVM trip.

Your way worked.  My way worked.

It's a beautiful world 

[Daveman]

Ravens, to which guidelines are you referring? Is this published somewhere on the site?  I see the ten commandments but not the Golden Rules.

I am curious to see if anyone has been successful with the famous "GOLDEN RULES" (guidelines).

What I mean by this is many give advice to not write a lady unless they are prepared to make a trip to FSU within 3 months.

Write many ladies

Visit many ladies.

Back up plans etc...

Wish everyone the best.
Tomorrow I head off to Ukraine. When I return my wife will be with me.

Congratulations!!! and best wishes for a safe journey to bring your lady home.
Dave

[Gator]

Congratulations Ravens!

There are no golden rules regarding when to write, how long to write, how many to visit...

You should do what makes you comfortable with yourself.  If you are more comfortable in meeting only one woman, then meet only one (and do as you did -correspond and talk for a long time before traveling).

So you wrote for 26 months and found your woman.  IIRC, Blues Fairy and her future husband corresponded for almost the same length of time, if not longer, before meeting.

[Simoni]

One more question, Raven's Fan...

If Ray Lewis, # 52 in your avatar, goes to the Cowboy's as rumored, will you change your name to Cowboys9273?   

New wife, new team? 

Cheers,

~Si

[GoodOlBoy]

Congratulations Ravens9273 !

IMO, the RWD Ten Commandments are the only "Golden Rules" to live by, when in pursuit of an FSU woman.  

The rest of the adventure is pretty much "catch-as-catch-can". 

IMHO, the most important part of this process is to get over there (FSU) and get your feet on the ground ASAP.


GOB

[groovlstk]

Contrary to what most here think, I believe most of us married guys broke a lot of rules. For me, it was flying to Moscow to meet one woman and one woman only - after years of coaching other guys to make the best of their time on the ground and meet many. I don't know why but it just felt right at the time, and I haven't looked back since.

I think "rules" is much too strong a word - the experiences of others are useful to guys who are just starting out in all of this, not so much as rules per se but as FYIs that xyz are the potential pitfalls along the way if you do things this way, abc if you do it another way. There's no way to do this without risk of disappointment or worse, but knowing the associated risks at least allows a guy to make informed decisions without being led by the nose by those who may not have his best interests at heart.

[GoodOlBoy]

Contrary to what most here think, I believe most of us married guys broke a lot of rules. For me, it was flying to Moscow to meet one woman and one woman only - after years of coaching other guys to make the best of their time on the ground and meet many. I don't know why but it just felt right at the time, and I haven't looked back since.

Amen Brother.

With my beautiful RW, I broke 1, 2 and 6.

I guess I am just lucky it turned out OK 5 years later!

Note to Newbies (if you are reading this), do not do what I did.

There are waaaaay to many scammers today.  :evil:

GOB

[Daveman]

So this isn't a posted guideline anywhere, but rather the common advice?

[Ravens9273]

Thanks to all for congrats.

I know I used the term GOLDEN RULE. It was best term for me to use for the standard advice I have seen many give a newbie.

I am not saying it is wrong and hope no one takes it that way.

I have just personally seen more find success going against this and was wondering if it was wise to give newbies this advice. I wanted to hear if the method has worked for anyone.

One more question, Raven's Fan...

If Ray Lewis, # 52 in your avatar, goes to the Cowboy's as rumored, will you change your name to Cowboys9273?  

New wife, new team? 

Cheers,

~Si

Simoni.
Although I am hoping we do not lose Ray Lewis, I cannot change teams if he leaves. At that point my name will still remain Ravens9273 but my Avatar will have to change to ED REED. 

Well I have to go now. Heading to New York (JFK) in an hour.
I like the straight flights. Going by Aerosvit straight to Kiev. Once in Ukraine I will take bus to Odessa. Will not do the Kiev Odessa flight again. From experience when a plane tries to take off and fails to turn around and try again is not a flight I want to be on again. Oh did I forget to mention a portion of the ceiling fell down in the plane and the pilot came back with a screw driver to fix it?
Once in Ukraine I like to stick to the ground.
At least now I know why the tradition in Ukraine is to cheer when a plane lands. I soon learned that those on board are happy to still be alive.

[HiTech]

2 years ago on my first trip I tried writing only 1 woman, after one day with her I knew it was not going to happen. 

When I met my wife, I saw at least 10 women, and had only written my wife 3 letters, just covering the basics.

In my view it is not how many men succeed with one woman visits, but rather how many men end up in a big fireball crash when they already plan on the one woman before meeting.

HiTech

[Stepford_Wife]

If i had found out my hubby came to Ukraine to visit even one more girl besides me, I would have said bye-bye sooner than he could finish his sentence. We communicated for 2 months exclusively, talking on skype almost every day before he came to visit me. I can't even imagine that we went out on a date, and next day he called some other girl and took her out for lunch, and at night went to a night club with one more lady. I am not the one who just stands in line of 10 girls waiting to be chosen and approved, like a car you buy from a dealership. You either come to see me and spend time with me or just don't bother coming. Visit as many as you want, but I am not gonna be "the lunch date between breakfast with Irina and dinner with Natalia". Many girls don't mind that, well, that's their choice.

[HiTech]

Stepford_wife,
 I understand your view point, but you greatly miss state how some one like me choose to meet his woman. Just like you I also would be upset if a woman comunicated we me exclusively and then was seeing many guys. But that is not the case. You also state about the man taking someone out to a night club. This also is not the case. It is simply not putting any romance into letters and simply speaking of the baisics before you meet. Then the meeting as if you are meeting the person for the first time, and not DATING multiple woman at once. The meeting is simply to see if you have a possiblity of a relationship, both for the man and for the woman.

It also is not a woman standing in a line, any more than it is men standing in a line. It is simply meeting  many woman until you click with one. It is just as likly that she will not be interested in the man as the man not being interested in them. The key that you seem to miss is that emotions have not been invested in the relationship before meeting.

After I met Alyona I had no interest in continuing meeting other woman. This is when we start to invest emotions, just like you choose to invest emotions before meeting. If you think of things as if you were just responding to many men with letters until you clicked with one, I believe you will see meeting mutlitple women in a different light. I assume your husband was not the first man you responded to , or did you always only corrispond with one man at a time when writting?

Now consider that Alyona never had seen my letters. The agency had written them for her but the information in the letters was correct. When I asked Alyona recently about traveling to meet many women, her response was of course you would.

HiTech

[GoodOlBoy]

If i had found out my hubby came to Ukraine to visit even one more girl besides me, I would have said bye-bye sooner than he could finish his sentence. We communicated for 2 months exclusively, talking on skype almost every day before he came to visit me. I can't even imagine that we went out on a date, and next day he called some other girl and took her out for lunch, and at night went to a night club with one more lady. I am not the one who just stands in line of 10 girls waiting to be chosen and approved, like a car you buy from a dealership. You either come to see me and spend time with me or just don't bother coming. Visit as many as you want, but I am not gonna be "the lunch date between breakfast with Irina and dinner with Natalia". Many girls don't mind that, well, that's their choice.

Hello Stepford_Wife and welcome to RWD.

I am happily married to a very nice Russian lady from Siberia.

Her sentiments are EXACTLY the same as yours (No "shopping" for wives on her time).

And I also agree with you completely.

But be very aware that there are SEVERAL men on this forum that think it is OK to go shopping for 10, 15 or 20 girls on one trip to the FSU. No problem.

There is nothing you can say to try and make these men understand it is morally wrong to behave in such a manner.

Your words of wisdom, will fall on "deaf ears".

This particular group of men will never listen to your words of wisdom about this topic and in fact, they will argue with you and tell you that your thinking is "delusional" and "wrong".


GOB

[groovlstk]

Hello Stepford_Wife.

I am married to a very nice Russian lady.

Her sentiments are EXACTLY the same as yours (No "shopping" for wives on her time).

And I also agree with you completely.

Ditto for my wife. Years ago, one of the agency owners who used to post here advised guys to avoid such women as they were spoiled and unrealistic, implying that if you acted like a man and told her to take it or leave it, a "good one" would wait patiently for you. Glad I didn't take his advice to heart or I'd still be single.

But be very aware that there are SEVERAL men on this forum that think it is OK to go shopping for 10, 15 or 20 girls on one trip to the FSU. No problem.

There is nothing you can say to try and make these men understand it is morally wrong to behave in such a matter.

Your words of wisdom, will fall on "deaf ears".

This particular group of men will never listen to you about this particular topic and in fact, will argue with you that your thinking is "wrong".


GOB

I think it all comes down to expectations. I didn't meet my wife through a marriage agency but when I was using agencies most of the women I dated accepted the idea that men they were meeting were arranging multiple meetings. You may or may not agree w/this philosophy, but it was a two-way street: the prettier girls had multiple meetings w/Western guys every weekend, and the agency's top girls were so busy that booking an hour for coffee on a Fri. or Sat. night was impossible unless you arranged it weeks before arrival.

[HiTech]

Her sentiments are EXACTLY the same as yours (No "shopping" for wives on her time).

I would also agree with this, but meeting multiple woman is NOT on her time. And anyone who is still looking for a wife IS shopping.

[facetrock]

WOVO or WMVM. I think I read my first debate on that about 6 years ago. Which one is right? I dont know. But I do know this. If you tell a bunch of women you will be arriving on a certain date to their city but wont be able to see them until a few days after you have been there, you have 2 strikes against you already. They know what you have been doing in the mean time and they dont like it. I believe it makes you appear arrogant and not serious, just playing. Maybe 5 or 6 years ago that was not the case but I think it is more true now.
But if you WOVO and it doesnt work you need a good back up plan.
And after your WOVO crashes that you spent so much time on are you really in the right frame of mind to try to start a relationship out of thin air. I dont have the answer. Most men here have been married before. How many women did we meet before we got married the first time. In most cases it was many. Now try to find the right one with only a week or two to meet women and if you think you have meet the right one and take another trip and that crashes you are back to square one. No definite answer to any question or method here. Hope like hell you get lucky. Luck plays a large part in this.

[HiTech]

facetrock: To be clear I am not debating WOVO vs WMVM. There are advantages and disadvantages to each.  But I do take great exception to some one stating meeting many woman is in any way immoral.

HiTech

[facetrock]

I dont think WMVM is immoral in any way. It just generates its own set of problems as does WOVO.

[BC]

I dont think WMVM is immoral in any way. It just generates its own set of problems as does WOVO.

9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?pid=2

I can't recall ever doing a WMVM at home..

[groovlstk]

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?pid=2

I can't recall ever doing a WMVM at home..

Anyone using internet dating sites like Lavalife or Match.com to meet local women is essentially doing WMVM minus the long, expensive itinerary.

[HiTech]

BC: Then we must assume you never went to a party, or bar, or church, or school or any event where you met multiple single women at one time because if you did, you just did a VM trip.

HiTech

[Gator]

I can't recall ever doing a WMVM at home..

In the 70s, I dated 3-4 different women concurrently, and they dated different men.  My future wife was dating the following: a key pitcher for the Phillies (initials LC, not SC who was dating her friend even though he was married), a business owner, a real charmer who did not have a job, plus me.  I was her only date who had a good job and did not bore her.   

We slowly eliminated other people and became exclusive.

Never wrote them (well I did write her and one other when I went away for a long time).

I have been told that most RW do not date more than one RM at a time.  They date and if their interest is mutual, they stop seeing others.  This continues for a long time.

I do not know about AW today.  My sons when younger tended to date as a group of friends.  A lot of oral sex I understand. 

YMMV, particularly considering I am perhaps older than all of you.