I think the numbers are alot smaller ...

[IAmZon]

I have been advising men about this point as it relates to Colombia.  I am interested in hearing its application to Ukraine and Russia.

"The Numbers are alot smaller than they appear at a distance."  I have heard myself say this 100 times of the last two months.  I am referring to the REAL number of quality, attractive, well meaning, intelligent, youthful, and sincere women interested in marriage.  Sure on the surface it appears to be a "turkey shoot."  Yet appearances can be untrue. I can tell you this is the case in Colombia.

I would be surprised if the same where not true - in reality - of Ukraine and Russia.

Interestingly, the most eligible women are not 100% convinced that the good old USA is the PLACE to live ( Although I love the USA, I am not so sure it is the best place to raise a family either). I was surprised to learn that women were not waiting in line 100 deep like the "Green Card" Stories would suggest - far from it.  I found that quality women  ( I am not saying beautiful women ... there is a difference)  from any country are rare. 

I lived in Colombia for over 6 months. Want to hear my best guess?  Of 100 women that were attractive to me (I may be guilty of being a little picky) , I guess 10 - 15 passed a my quality filter.  It's not really a filter, just characteristcs that more accurately reflect the inner being of a person:
- Number of, and nature of, friendships
- nature of relationship to family;
- treatment of peers and subordinates;
- Children out of wedlock;
- education level;
- morals and ethics;
- worldly position / pressure to "compromise";
- sincerity; part of a "good family;"
- and did I mention HONESTY.

[Sculpto]

my uniniformed and innacurate opinion is you are correct about the FSU.  Probably the whole world.

[Kuna]

Your numbers are right... but 10-15% being "golden" is probably quite generous.

Of course, the formula that leads you to your results is different for every man/woman/couple - therefore the whole idea of marriage in the first place becomes riskier and more difficult anyway.

I wonder how powerful "compatibility" is when compared with the importance of things like respect, patience and understanding. 

If it's so difficult to find the one in the beginning, and we know people change through time, I think your original "formula" needs to consider things like flexibility and common goals to maintain a relationship.

[kievstar]

The more you have to offer to a woman the more quality women will be around you.  Not talking about money.  But just overall package.  

I have worked with many ex pats who have divorced their wife and married a woman in the new country or were single and married in new country.  Ex pats with good careers, communications skills, tend to be in better shape for their age, and have confidence.

I will have to personally disagree as I think there are more quality women out there than men.  I will agree that majority of women prefer to live in their native country.  

So for men who work on improving themselves and get rid of the habits most women hate than your chances of meeting a quality woman in your eyes increases.  

Most men do not work on improvement and have a smaller pool.

[IAmZon]

Oh, dear God!  Please don't think I would make a FORMULA.  I would like to think I have grown up a little in the last two years.

and, you are right, I was being generous.  3 - 7 is more like it.  Needle in a hay stack kinda stuff.    And that does not even take into consideration how lacking the male side of the equation is!  It is a miracle that any marriages lasts

Of course, "attraction" and "magic" counts for squat after the first 6 months.  It is far best to look for a supportive friendship and like goals and expectations.  Besides, we are human and men, which means we don't know what the hell we want in the first place.  Science is a bitch.  Anybody read BLINK.  Fascinating chapter on relationships.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/excerpts/2005-01-07-blink_x.htm

[Kuna]

Hey riv... when are you going to Russia or Ukraine?

Even if you've got a current interest closer to home I think you're depriving yourself of lifechanging expeiences if you don't get your a$$ on a plane.

I'm not even necessarily taking about dating...  just going there as a tourist will offer you a lot.

Now is a GREAT time to travel.  Book a ticket and GO!   

[GoodOlBoy]

I will have to personally disagree as I think there are more quality women out there than men.  I will agree that majority of women prefer to live in their native country.

I have to agree with Kievstar.

I don't know that much about the Ukraine, BUT...In Russia, there are TONS of well educated, street smart, beautiful RW who take care of themselves both physically and spiritually.

Sadly they know in the end that they have to leave their "Motherland" if they marry a foreigner.

In my wife's "close" circle of friends, 8 women have now left Omsk to marry foreigners.

I believe that the majority of the RW who immigrate to other countries with their foreign husbands have probably tried on several occasions to find a "descent" Russian Man, BUT......What can you say? 


GOB


OTH....I just thought about this. The age of the woman might make a BIG difference.

I am speaking about my experience's with Marina. I met my wife when she was 36 1/2.

I wasn't chasing 20 year old RW.

So as far as the "quality" of a 20 yo RW goes... I really can't say.

[IAmZon]

I don't date 20 year olds A N  Y M O R E.  Gotta be 26 - 27 ish for me. AND ... is it REALLY that hard to find a good Russian Man.

(By contrast, it IS THAT HARD to find a good Latino - but; the "very eligible" Latinas and the Latinos deserve each other.)

Which leads me to another point.  I shy away from perfect 10s nowadays. They all seem to be spoiled, mean, and / or crazy.  I do not allow "drama / trauma" in my life.

[I/O]

"The Numbers are alot smaller than they appear at a distance."  I have heard myself say this 100 times of the last two months.  I am referring to the REAL number of quality, attractive, well meaning, intelligent, youthful, and sincere women interested in marriage. 

Interested in marriage primarily to a foreigner? Interested in marriage and may include a foreigner? Accounting your criteria above, I centend the numbers are small in the former group and large in the latter.

I/O

[JR]

Good post, I especially like your attribute qualifications.

[IAmZon]

By the way ... I do not want to seem ungrateful:)

I was back in the states for a month. The benefits to broadening one's dating pool were quickly obvious. 

I do not even want to consider "my formula" on American soil.  That would be an ugly picture, indeed.

[GoodOlBoy]

... is it REALLY that hard to find a good Russian Man.

I stayed with my wife for 3 straight month's in Omsk and met a lot of her friends and colleagues.

It is almost impossible to find a Russian Man available without "Bad Habits".

"Their" words.........not mine.

"Bad Habits" being defined as: Smoking, Drinking (excessively), Abusive (physically or mentally) and Whoring around with other women.




GOB

[Sculpto]

dont american women say mostly the same thing?  I mean the bitter single ones...

[GoodOlBoy]

dont american women say mostly the same thing?  I mean the bitter single ones...

Maybe Sculpto, BUT........AW(cows) are NO WAY as HOT as these RW I am talking about!!


GOB

[kievstar]

The population of quality AM to AW is the same as UM to UW.  I have no clue about Russia. Men have it easier than women in finding the right one.

I will say once a women tends to have a child in Ukraine it seems to give the green light to the man to have an affair.  But you see more of this in USA right now to.   As parenting declines it seems children grow up worse.  Parenting is declining in Ukraine and USA.

[Sculpto]

The population of quality AM to AW is the same as UM to UW.  I have no clue about Russia. Men have it easier than women in finding the right one.

I will say once a women tends to have a child in Ukraine it seems to give the green light to the man to have an affair.  But you see more of this in USA right now to.   As parenting declines it seems children grow up worse.  Parenting is declining in Ukraine and USA.

I would tend to agree Ricardo.. but I think in the US it depends a lot on which part of the country.. around here i know lots of single moms.. and hardly any intact families.. they exist.. I just dont know of any within my social circles..

I would also say purely from a statistical perspective women are a lot better off here in terms of selection than are men.  I know one gal that put an ad on craigslist.. she is pretty hot and slightly above average intelligence.. but she wanted to get married.. she got over 500 responses in 4 hours.  I have to admit her husband is a pretty awesome guy.

[kievstar]

Scultpo,

With all the gay guys in SanFran it has to be easy to find a quality woman.  Or are the number of gay women just as high.  Not trying to be funny.  I do not know much about California.  I know there are a lot of Asians in Sanfran which should also help as Asian men generally struggle in the dating arena.

My mother said the following to me recently.  She was flying back from Kiev on Delta and all the guys around her were talking about their girlfirends.  Based on their discussions my mother felt sorry for the Ukraine women to have to date these guys.  But my mother did not care to much for the look of the Ukraine men as well.  She really felt all the pretty women in Ukraine do not have many good options on foreign men or local men.  My mothers expression of Moscow was the opposite.  She felt bad for the RM in Moscow. Felt the quality of RW in Moscow was not as good as Ukraine.  Father felt the same way on the women.   Weather was cold in both places when they visited. My parents think Australia have the best men and women.  Might be because the tour guides my parents had for almost 2 months there - one looked like Hugh Jackman and his wife looked like Miranda Kerr. 

[Sculpto]

Scultpo,

With all the gay guys in SanFran it has to be easy to find a quality woman.  Or are the number of gay women just as high.  Not trying to be funny.  I do not know much about California.  I know there are a lot of Asians in Sanfran which should also help as Asian men generally struggle in the dating arena.

My mother said the following to me recently.  She was flying back from Kiev on Delta and all the guys around her were talking about their girlfirends.  Based on their discussions my mother felt sorry for the Ukraine women to have to date these guys.  But my mother did not care to much for the look of the Ukraine men as well.  She really felt all the pretty women in Ukraine do not have many good options on foreign men or local men.  My mothers expression of Moscow was the opposite.  She felt bad for the RM in Moscow. Felt the quality of RW in Moscow was not as good as Ukraine.  Father felt the same way on the women.   Weather was cold in both places when they visited. My parents think Australia have the best men and women.  Might be because the tour guides my parents had for almost 2 months there - one looked like Hugh Jackman and his wife looked like Miranda Kerr. 

Kiev.. on the surface you would think that would be the case, but, unfortunately it is not.  here are the negative factors that make it difficult for straight men in SF.

Because of the size of the gay community, single women do not see SF as a good place to find a husband, so, they tend to avoid SF in favor of LA, Chicago, New York, Miami where the population is bigger to begin with and the percentage of gays to the rest of the population is smaller.

Because SF is exceptionally expensive to live, one discovers that many women who do come here for college at some point work in the sex industry.. strippers, escorts, porn starlets.. afterwards most of them have little or no interest in men.  some become lesbians out of anger/hatred of men.  I estimate that between the strip clubs, massage parlors, escort services and porn industry there are somewhere around 20,000 women currently employed in the sex industry.  There are no hard statistics on this, but, its not that hard to estimate.  15 major strip clubs that employ between 200-500 women each.. not all work full time.  75 massage parlors with 10-50 employees.. god knows how many escort services.. dozens of porn studios..

There are a lot of lesbians.

A lot of white guys end up with asian women.  The dynamics of those relationships are complex.  I tried it.. didn't like it.  My opinion is asian women tend to stop taking care of themselves once they think they have a man.  It was my personal experience and the experience of a lot of guys I know.  Its not a universal.. but I have heard asian guys complain about this also.

The net result is women have a lot of options here.. an average woman with a little bit of extra weight will usually get 2-300 replies to a personal ad on CL within 4 hours if she posts a photo.  Think about the power dynamic that creates.  Average looking not especially intelligent overweight girls are getting away with murder and men are lining up for the priveledge.  And of course the sex workers are really happy about the whole situation.

[IAmZon]

I have been a lesbian all my life