Pull The Plug?

[XMan]

Been using an agency in Kharkov (UFMA -- Ukrainian Fiance Marriage Agency).  Service has been fine (one would hope so, since I'm paying for it).  Letters are in depth, detailed responses to my questions, interesting questions coming back to me, etc.  No reason to suspect the letters are written by anyone other than the ladies I am corresponding with.  One may ask the ladies to exchange contact information, which I have done.  None of the 3 seem comfortable in doing that.  One, in fact, seemed to think I was "testing her" somehow, said she was serious, and she would like to meet me, etc., etc.  The agency charges for first meeting, and of course wants you to use their interpreters.  It's business, I understand the motive.  I can book my own travel, apartment, etc., so no need for "tour" dollars. 

Given all of the above, if you can't get the ladies contact information, do you pull the plug or not? 

I've already done trips to Russia and Ukraine.  Met real women, varying levels of mutual interest.  Have not been scammed, just haven't been successful.  I just don't want to waste time/money/effort on a trip to Kharkov again if it's not the right path.  (Not so easily determined, thus this post.)

Have also used CindyAgency.  Not a great experience thus far.

Have used russianpersonals.ru.  Some correspondence (Russia rather than Ukraine), mixed feelings about that. 

Not that I'm entirely impatient, but I've been on this trail for 3 years.  I'd like to move forward, but only if it makes sense.

Thanks.

[XMan]

Hells bells, hit post instead of preview. 

One additional piece of info. 

Just started corresponding with a UW in NY.  Emigrated here a couple of years ago, divorced from her Ukrainian husband (also here in the USA, they came together).  Not far enough along there to know anything.  But another potential option on the table. 

Thanks.

[Vaughn]

Me? I would gently & firmly press the issue of contact information, especially the home phone number.

It could be they are discouraged (or forbidden) from divulging anything. More profit in an agency
controlled environment. Or - you're not writing to whom you believe you are.

If nothing gives, I'd walk away. There are too many ladies wanting and willing to hear your voice.

[myrddin]

Vaughn's right: press it (not rudely) and you'll learn what you need to know.  I always found it easy to get contact info from genuinely interested ladies, agency or no (though I did not use agency you mention; the ones I used were part of the angelika network).

[HiTech]

I assume the contact cost would be about 35 - 45? If so, pay it now (it will save a lot and also root out 2nd motives to make money on letters), get direct contact and go on.

HiTech

[Shadow]

3 strikes on the contact info.... unless you are having a serious problem I would say the agency is running some dark schemes.

[Gator]

What do you want to know and feel before you get on a plane?

I had my best results by talking over the phone with RW who spoke English.  Nevertheless, and contrary to the 10 Commandments, you do not need the contact information DEPENDENT UPON your pre-meeting objective. 

If you want to discuss serious subjects and get a deeper feeling about a woman's core values, you need to somehow obtain her phone number and converse with her for hours.  Then you go to her city and meet her (and maybe a couple others).  It is best to find such women via dating sites or large listing agencies such as Elena's models.

However, if you just want to meet someone who seems pretty and then decide if she interests you, you don't need to talk for hours.  Just a couple of letters will suffice to MANY pretty UW.  Then go to Kharkov and meet almost all of them and see how you feel after an hour of tea and cake together.  Local MOB agencies are superb for arranging and organizing such meetings.

If none of them interest you after tea and cake, go to another Kharkov agency, study the catalogue of UW and select a few more to meet.

Use a MOB agency just for face-to-face introductions.  Do not use an MOB agency to become infatuated with a UW before you meet her.  Even if the agency is not a scam,  letter writing and 3-way phone calls are a big waste of money vs. looking into her eyes and talking.

[Mars]

Stop dealing with marriage agencies at all.
Only use the web based dating sites where the administration has nothing to do with contact between the man and woman.
The women on the dating sites will readily give you all their relevant contact info after a few e-mails if the two of you seem remotely compatible.

[Misha]

None of the 3 seem comfortable in doing that. 

I met my wife on a free Russian dating site. We chatted and within 30 minutes gave me her ICQ account name and her cell phone number. This is pretty standard behavior.  The main reason: cell phone numbers are easy to get and a woman can have multiple phone numbers simply by popping in and out SIM cards. As such, she doesn't have much to lose as all she has to do to change phone numbers is getting a new SIM card. If she is smart, she will likely have a sim card and phone number solely to give out to men she might meet and she might want to date  :evil:

I am sorry, but IMHO if you have three women saying they are not comfortable in giving you a cell phone number, this reeks of agency BS 

[ECOCKS]

None of the 3 ladies seem comfortable giving you direct contact information?

Time to move on then. They aren't normal.

[XMan]

Thanks to all.

Appreciate the time and feedback.

Regrettably, I agree concerning agency / contact info. 
Would have preferred returning to a city where I was familiar with many things, but such is life. 
Think another approach will be required (the aforementioned free site).

[Vaughn]

Good luck, XMan

[Daveman]

Thanks to all.

Appreciate the time and feedback.

Regrettably, I agree concerning agency / contact info. 
Would have preferred returning to a city where I was familiar with many things, but such is life. 
Think another approach will be required (the aforementioned free site).

Yeah, that ole "I'm not comfortable" routine is usually the ruse of the agency.  I'm telling you the honest truth here, in all the years I've been driving myself crazy with this pursuit, not one single solitary RW has refused to give me her phone number after two to three emails, and many times after the first.  They WANT to speak to you, if they like your photos, etc., to rule your arse out as a potential partner.  They are screening you probably more than you are screening them and phone/skype chats are part of that. 

Now perhaps I really am god's special gift to women with a charisma and magnetism that is completely irresistible to FSUW (absolutely true in my warped fantasy, but the laws of physics would need to cease to exist in reality for that fantasy to be true...) so Occam's Razor would leave us with -- a serious woman seriously seeking and seriously attracted to you will want to communicate via phone/skype pretty quickly to decide for herself if continuing communication is worth her time and effort.

Yes, expand your search horizons in all the ways you can.  Good luck!

[flyer1]

I had very good luck with All Beautiful in Kharkov.  I met my wife through them.  Natalia was great to work with.

[XMan]

I met a couple of women through that agency last year. 
They were real.  Always a plus. 
Didn't hit it off, but might consider using them again. 
Still, the usual agency thing.  No contact information until you meet in person. 
Thanks.

[Gator]

I had very good luck with All Beautiful in Kharkov.  I met my wife through them.  Natalia was great to work with.

I also recommend All Beautiful. 

[JR]

Now perhaps I really am god's special gift to women with a charisma and magnetism that is completely irresistible to FSUW

OMG! I thought you were talking about me!

I have found that the vast majority of women will freely give contact info early on. It is not uncommon to recieve phone numbers with their initial emails. I'd say pull the plug, spend your time and money elsewhere. There are plenty of real, sincere ladies out there.