At a crossroads

[LoneWolf]

Hi everyone!  I'm new to this site and I want to ask a little advice.  I started out writing to three girls in the Ukraine.  One of them suddenly terminated her account with the agency and I lost contact (maybe she found someone... if so, I'm happy for her!)  Things were going well with the second one when she suddenly stopped writing, and I then got a generic "NOT COMPATIBLE" message.  I then got a message from the agency that she is also terminating her account.  Now I have one left.  From our correspondence, she seems to be a very sweet girl.

So what is the problem?  Well, I can't get a lot of information out of her.  I couldn't even get her to tell me her address when I wanted to send her a gift, so I sent some flowers and candy through the agency as a New Years/Christmas gift.  We have pleasant conversations and she sounds like someone that would be pleasant to be around, but I have yet to find much common ground.  I already told her a while back that it was my intention to visit the Ukraine early this year... but such a trip would be an expensive venture (coming from the United States) and would require the use of my very limited vacation days from work.  I know I could never be certain that I'll find what I'm looking for, but I don't feel comfortable enough to invest in such a trip on a girl I know so little about.

So my question is... should I start writing to a couple of other girls in the same area?  I don't want to hurt her, but at the same time I don't think a trip would be logical at this time.  However, I think that by not writing to a couple of other girls before my trip I would be hurting myself.  So what do you all think?  Do you think it's okay to start writing to a couple of other girls now?  Even though I've been in contact with this one for a while?

Thanks in advance for the advice!
LW

[BillyB]

So my question is... should I start writing to a couple of other girls in the same area?  I don't want to hurt her, but at the same time I don't think a trip would be logical at this time.  However, I think that by not writing to a couple of other girls before my trip I would be hurting myself.  So what do you all think?  Do you think it's okay to start writing to a couple of other girls now?  Even though I've been in contact with this one for a while?

You are not in a commited relationship with the woman so go ahead and contact other women from the same city, different city or different countries. Give yourself more options to make a better choice.

The woman is still a stranger to you and it's wise not to visit someone you're not comfortable with yet. There may be a reason she is not opening up to you and giving you little information about herself. She is not as interested in you as you are in her. Think about it. If you like a woman, you will find it a pleasure to talk to her, tell her about your life and want to know more about her life. If a woman likes you, she would be eager to discover you and let you discover her by opening up about her life and making it easier for you to contact and communicate with her too.

[myrddin]

You are not in a commited relationship with the woman so go ahead and contact other women from the same city, different city or different countries. Give yourself more options to make a better choice.

BillyB makes an excellent point here.  Some guys feel committed too way early.  All you've done is talk, nothing wrong with talking to others.

[JR]

So what is the problem?  Well, I can't get a lot of information out of her.  I couldn't even get her to tell me her address when I wanted to send her a gift, so I sent some flowers and candy through the agency as a New Years/Christmas gift.  

You're writing to a guy )))

Feel free to write other ladies until there is a mutual agreement that you are a couple.

Go when you are ready, BUT GO! Be there in three months.

[Ludmila]

I cannot agree more with Billy B.

LoneWolfe, what is preventing you from learning more about this lady ?

If she isn't inklined to give you her address ( which doesn't help to become convinced she is interested in the progress of the relationship, etc), why are you not getting more info about her persona: what she knows, what her interests and hobbies are, what problems she is facing, you are facing?

What prevents you from sharing with each other, (as any people would like to do, when they like each other), sharing some funny episodes, situations that occur to you/her, trying to look into her inner world? Even as we chat here, on the forum?

If she isn't showing any motivation, you are dealing with a demotivated partner. You have to understand that this will make this endeavor almost ,or completely, irrealistic to translate into life.

If this is the case, of course, go ahead and act.

[Shadow]

Requesting gifts to be sent through the agency means she is more interested in the cash vaue of them as in the gifts. You would do yourself a service to write to others, probably even in different agencies.

[GregfromGa]

What agency are you dealing with?

[XMan]

I was working with an agency in Kharkov. 
Supposedly any woman who wanted to give her contact information could do so. 
How many were willing to do so, after several months of correspondence? 
Zero. 
A bit unlikely, made more so by the fact that I got that information from 3 out of 3 women I wrote in another city / agency. 
I don't know which agency you are using, but it sounds fishy.

[LoneWolf]

Thanks for the advice everyone!     I think I'll start writing to others as well.  And I think I'll take your advice BillyB and try other countries as well.

To answer Ludmila,  I am having trouble getting her to answer a lot of my questions.  She'll tell me some things that are going on in her life, but she is extremely brief.  I'm not one to write a novel for each letter, but I provide what I think is a good amount of information along with a few questions to get to know her better.  I'm lucky if I get a five sentence response, and that answers only a fraction of my questions.  She seems like a sweet girl, it's just difficult getting a good conversation out of her.  She'll volunteer some information like when it's her aunt's birthday or something, but she's just not giving me enough information to go on.

Don't get me wrong!  I am still very interested in her and will continue to write to her.  I just don't know enough about her to make a trip solely for her.  I thought things were going pretty well with the second girl I was writing to (through the same agency)... she would always give me a good amount of information per letter.  I also told her that I would be visiting Ukraine soon.  So to have it going so well with her and having it end so abruptly, I'm thinking I shouldn't be pinning my hopes on this girl when I feel even less confident.

To answer GregfromGa.  I am using A Foreign Affair as my agency.  I have been writing using the translated services, so I wouldn't think the language barrier is the cause of the brief letters.

Shadow, I think you are right... maybe I should also use different agencies.  Do you have any recommendations?

Thanks again, everyone! 

LW

[JR]

Like I said, you're writing to a guy...

If a woman is sincere she will not reject your request for contact information. After about six weeks of failed communications attempts I sent a flower to a lady and the only contact info I had was her phone number and email addy. A day after I sent the flower I recieved an email with her entire address in BIG BOLD letters.

[wildy]

You can visit her and get situation in your arms. Don't know, but if she is not ready for more serious relationship? Or she is not sure about you yet? Or another reason?
I have to agree about some reserve girls in this region. You are free yet

[Aloe]

Thanks for the advice everyone!     I think I'll start writing to others as well.  And I think I'll take your advice BillyB and try other countries as well.

To answer Ludmila,  I am having trouble getting her to answer a lot of my questions.  She'll tell me some things that are going on in her life, but she is extremely brief.  I'm not one to write a novel for each letter, but I provide what I think is a good amount of information along with a few questions to get to know her better.  I'm lucky if I get a five sentence response, and that answers only a fraction of my questions.  She seems like a sweet girl, it's just difficult getting a good conversation out of her.  She'll volunteer some information like when it's her aunt's birthday or something, but she's just not giving me enough information to go on.

Don't get me wrong!  I am still very interested in her and will continue to write to her.  I just don't know enough about her to make a trip solely for her.  I thought things were going pretty well with the second girl I was writing to (through the same agency)... she would always give me a good amount of information per letter.  I also told her that I would be visiting Ukraine soon.  So to have it going so well with her and having it end so abruptly, I'm thinking I shouldn't be pinning my hopes on this girl when I feel even less confident.

To answer GregfromGa.  I am using A Foreign Affair as my agency.  I have been writing using the translated services, so I wouldn't think the language barrier is the cause of the brief letters.

Shadow, I think you are right... maybe I should also use different agencies.  Do you have any recommendations?

Thanks again, everyone! 

LW

I have to agree with JollyRats, you are probably writing to a guy
You say its hard to get a response out of her, thats indication number 1 that you are writing not to a real person. What they do is send a bunch of the same letters to different people, try googling some phrases out of her letters to see if other people received the same letters.
Most agencies are not good, especially if you pay per letter (you said you pay for translation of every letter), so they will have you corresponding indefinitely with their employees, without any actual serious interested girls involved, just people milking you for money. Go to a website where agency doesnt interfere, for example elenasmodels.com or some would suggest mamba.ru (its a free russian dating website).
If a girl refuses to give her email address and insists you communicate thru an agency where you pay for every letter, its also a HUGE sign that she isnt in it for you, she(or he) is in it to make money for the agency.

[Rina_G]

You're writing to a guy )))

Feel free to write other ladies until there is a mutual agreement that you are a couple.

Go when you are ready, BUT GO! Be there in three months.

Totaly agree with JR