RW extremely jealous .. very attention seeking

[camachinist]

OP, my sympathies. It must be a very stressful time for both of you.

One of the realities MC (marriage counseling) clarified for myself was that I (or you) can only control ourselves, how we act and react. We have no control over the feelings or actions of another. If the current dynamic feels toxic, what's your role? What can you change about your behaviors, without compromising who you are, to give this marriage everything it deserves?

TBH, and other members might disagree but, if I were to meet a RW/UW and do a K1, I'd engage a local (to me) counselor proficient in her native language/culture and employ PMC (pre-marital counseling) prior to marrying. My stbx and I covered a lot of ground in the first 4-6 sessions (a month) and, IMO, a counselor who understands the nuances of her perspective can 'interpret' it with more clarity than I perhaps could, facilitating better communication. This also would allow each of us to better understand if we are truly compatible and make a reasoned decision. Sure, it's expensive. I paid for over a year of it in my M. Worth every dollar, IMO, even getting a divorce. Health is something a price cannot be so easily attached to.

OP, lastly, I think you went over 'there' with some pre-conceived notions about RW/UW and your comments about appearance underscore those notions. As an attractive man, you have your choice of women anywhere, yet you chose FSU/CIS for a reason. Clarifying that reason and your own psychology regarding it will help you, whether in this M or a future one. There are reasons a man remains unmarried into his late 30's (I was such a man) and those reasons bear scrutiny for they are as relevant to the dynamic as the 'reasons' the RW/UW brings to the table from her side. I hope it works out for you

[innakrug]

It is sound like she just came to America. If this is correct, she is simply having culture shock and not quite sure in things. Imagine, if you would go to live in foreign country and the only person you would know would be your wife. How badly would you need her? Probably, more than when everything is familiar and you have family and friends around. Be patient, show to her as much love as possible, it is not easy, but make an effort. It wouldn't take forever for her to adjust, find new friends, get situated and relax You do not want to let go such a wonderful girl. Be patient