What if I don't wanna...

[Tag-n-bag]

...Get married that is?


I hope someone can help me with a question that has been buzzing around in my head for a while.

What if I don’t want to get married…again?

I always assumed that the term “bride” as used in “Russian mail order brides” was more of a euphemism than a statement of fact. Then I started reading all these very interesting profiles, “Looking for good man, strong man, good priorities, marriage and start big family then go to country for rest time.”  Wow, how romantic.

What if I don’t want to get married? Is it all or nothing with RW? Couldn’t we just take things slowly, travel a little, get to know each other, maybe even live together first? Some of these profiles have really started to get to me. The other night I had this terrible nightmare.  All I can remember is being awakened by some stunning, and impossibly strong RW wearing an animal skin bikini grabbing me by my hair and dragging me back to her cave.  Her cave was awful and didn’t even have a wireless network. The horror!

Almost every profile has the word marriage burned into it like a brand from a cattle ranch. 
Are there any RW who may want to have a “fling”, “an affair”, “a good time” or even be my partner on a great trip somewhere? Sure, all of the above could eventually lead to marriage, and if so, that’s fine, but for some reason I cannot help but feeling like a trout at the end of somebody’s fly rod who's getting ready to set the hook firmly in my mouth.

Premarital sex?

Where do RW who seem to be looking only for marriage and a family stand on this subject? I know where I stand and all I can say is that I would never buy a car without first test driving it, wink, wink, nod, nod. I know what you’re thinking and NO, I’m not thinking about going to Russia just to have some type of perverted sex spree of something, I can do that in Vegas.  I just want to be sure that the word ‘abstinence’ is either not in the Russian lexicon or that this type of behavior has not yet been introduced to Europe and those regions lying due east.

[I/O]

Are there any RW who may want to have a “fling”, “an affair”, “a good time” or even be my partner on a great trip somewhere?

Unless things have changed more than I think during the past few years, the answer is yes.

Premarital sex?

Where do RW who seem to be looking only for marriage and a family stand on this subject?

Some stand but most lie down.

I know what you’re thinking and NO, I’m not thinking about going to Russia just to have some type of perverted sex spree of something

Why not? It's worked for many before you.

[Turboguy]

I have a feeling you would have no shortage of nice looking women willing to join you on an all expense paid vacation the the Caribbean or Paris or the like.  It may not be the same women who are looking for a husband but many would be interested.

Heck if your not interested in getting married go ahead on your sex spree as long as you don't mislead anyone it is between the two of you or three of you or four of you.

I think many get married because unless you can work out living in the FSU there are not many other options to spend time with the one you love.  I am sure many a one week wonder would spend one or many years in engaged status if visas to the USA were passed out like candy.

[ECOCKS]

So, basically you're not interested in a monogamous, long term relationship?

You just want dates, sex and someone to hang with when you take a trip to Eastern Europe?

An escort service with all the service and none of the fee, right?

[Tag-n-bag]

Wow, that's a fairly strong condemnation.

I had a feeling that I may be misunderstood with this topic, so let me explain. Why would I even consider going all the way to eastern Europe to go out with  some FSU escorts? There are tons of them here in the states already. If that's  all I wanted, all i have to do is pick up the phone and yes, room service is definitely available. I don't want to take an 'escort' on a trip to Paris or Rome, I want someone who acutally wants to go with ME, and more importanly for no charge.

I am looking for a real and meaningful relationship with one woman, but not a relationship based entirely on the premise that a marriage proposal will be forthcoming. Sure, it's possible, but I can't make a commitment like that to someone i just met and I cannot move to the FSU to court her for an indeterminate period of time, so where does that leave me?


Should I just be honest in my profile and say right up front, "Not interested in marriage, for a good time please reply?" I don't want to mislead anyone, but discussing things like marriage and children are usually saved for later in a relationship, at least by western standards. Maybe I should rephrase my question; Are FSU women expecting marriage as the outcome of any relationship they have with someone they met through a service?  Frankly, marriage is an extremely overated ancient custom in my humble opinion. I thought it was great until I got a divorce, now, I'm just not too sure any longer.

[ECOCKS]

Just being sure I understand.

Normally, people here are looking for LTR's, not the "GF experience" as the term has been coined lately. However, maybe that's a developing trend.

Sure then be honest, but think what type of gal you'll attract if you are only going to expect her to be there for vacation trips to spots like Rome and Pairs when you won't take the time to live in and establish an understanding of her world. Is this the companion you are looking for in your life?

Maybe it is, I couldn't say.

FSUW are going to read what you say and pretty much decide you wish to sponsor them. A stipend, an apartment, shopping expeditions, nice restaurants, gifts of lingerie, maybe a car...but don't worry, no fee charged at the end of the trip.

What do you expect they will think?

BTW, a significant problem will be finding a gal that qualifies for travel visas to places like that so don't pick her until after her schengen approval abilities are well-established.

[Jooky]

Are FSU women expecting marriage as the outcome of any relationship they have with someone they met through a service?

I hate to point out the obvious, but if a woman is on a marriage site (and is real) she's looking for... ummm... marriage. There are PLENTY of guys she can screw around with back home.

[Tag-n-bag]

Is it really all that difficult for a girl from Odessa or Kiev to get a tourist visa to travel to France or Italy for less then 90 days?  I've seen tons of photos of these women posing in front of gondolas in Venice. I'm not doubting what you say, I just don't know the facts surrounding the issuance of tourist visas to FSU women.

What requirements must they meet to get a tourist visa?

How long does it take?

[ECOCKS]

Just verify that they can successfully get a schengen on the front end is my advice.

Hope it's everything you are looking for in your life.

[Tag-n-bag]

Jooky, you're missing my point amigo.

Sure, there are plenty of guys for her screw around with back home and plenty more where they came from, but I am not looking to just screw around. All I am asking for is a chance to get to know a woman without having to marry her first. Have you ever heard the expression,  "putting the cart before the horse" before?  Which again begs me to ask the question, why are only women from the FSU entitled to know the answer to the "m" question while women throughout the rest of the world are not?  Not that I don't think women everywhere will always have the "m" word swimming around in their brain after they have been dating the same guy for a while. The key phrase here is "for a while".

I'm only asking an honest question based on some things I have read stating how pragmatic FSU women tend to be. If I had a nickel for each time the word 'serious' is used in the profile of an FSUW, I'd be almost as rich as Oprah.

 

[brad5959]

why not just get a lady from Czech or other country where they can travel?  why the interest in Russian/Ukrainian women??  from what I understand they must own property and have proof of long time employment.  you could take a lady to Turkey without any problems.  like ECocks said you may attract women who want "sponsorship", which means they expect some sort of financial compensation for being with you.  or you could just travel within Russia or within Ukraine.  there's lots of beautiful places to go.  apparently the most beautiful city of them all is St. Petersberg.  why not invite the lady to meet you there?  in Ukraine my favorite cities from architectural standpoint are Odessa and Lvov.  if you can afford it, why not take her to one of those cities?

[Jooky]

All I am asking for is a chance to get to know a woman without having to marry her first.

That's normal. These women aren't looking to marry before you get to know them, but the real ones do have marriage as a goal.

It sounds like you've been looking at marriage sites. What sites are you looking at / using?

[Misha]

What if I don’t want to get married…again?

Then don't.

Are there any RW who may want to have a “fling”, “an affair”, “a good time...

Yes, but the question is why they would want to do this with you? If a woman just wants sex, there are plenty of options available to her in her country.

...or even be my partner on a great trip somewhere?

I am sure there are. Some might require payment of course 

Where do RW who seem to be looking only for marriage and a family stand on this subject? I know where I stand and all I can say is that I would never buy a car without first test driving it, wink, wink, nod, nod.

The question is whether you will tell her that you are only taking her out for a test drive. As noted, women anywhere have many local options when it comes to sex, and most will be younger and more attractive than your average foreigner going to Russia  :evil:

If you are honest with her, tell her what you told us, and both of you are consenting adults, then that is your business and who are we to judge.

However, if you go to Russia letting women thing that you want marriage, while you only want sex (i.e. the "test drive"), then you risk being labeled a sex tourist.

[Gator]

Tag-n-Bag,

This plan does not make sense to me.

Your profile says that you are from the US, yet you fantasize about touring Europe for 90 days with a pretty RW.  That is a long time for a US tourist.   

Most RW have some obligation such as a child or job that would prevent any trip longer than 2 weeks.  So she would have to be committed to a LTR with you, i. e., marriage.  You would need to pay her missed salary and whatever it would take to to support her until she becomes gainfully employed again.

To spend 90 days together, you and your RW would need to be very compatible to make that work.  So I assume you will be spending much time with her before the 90-day extravaganza.

90 days in Europe is big $$$$ even if the RW charges nothing.  And she will expect you to buy her splendid European garments.

Long time, big $$$$.  Not many men can do this.  Care to elaborate without disclosing particulars about your age, financial situation, the age of your prey?

[Gator]

Some stand but most lie down.

 

....or one of a hundred other variants.

[Jooky]

Care to elaborate without disclosing particulars about your age, financial situation, the age of your prey?

Hey, that's what I just asked in the other thread. But you wrote it better ('age of your prey'). Damn you! 

So how about it, Tag-n-Bag? Tell us more about yourself.

[I/O]

....or one of a hundred other variants.

[Tag-n-bag]

Tag-n-Bag,

This plan does not make sense to me.

Your profile says that you are from the US, yet you fantasize about touring Europe for 90 days with a pretty RW.  That is a long time for a US tourist.   

Most RW have some obligation such as a child or job that would prevent any trip longer than 2 weeks.  So she would have to be committed to a LTR with you, i. e., marriage.  You would need to pay her missed salary and whatever it would take to to support her until she becomes gainfully employed again.

To spend 90 days together, you and your RW would need to be very compatible to make that work.  So I assume you will be spending much time with her before the 90-day extravaganza.

90 days in Europe is big $$$$ even if the RW charges nothing.  And she will expect you to buy her splendid European garments.

Long time, big $$$$.  Not many men can do this.  Care to elaborate without disclosing particulars about your age, financial situation, the age of your prey?

Gator-

Too funny!

I understood that this is how long they issue a tourist visa for, not how long I would actually be there.

[I/O]

I am looking for a real and meaningful relationship with one woman, but not a relationship based entirely on the premise that a marriage proposal will be forthcoming. Sure, it's possible, but I can't make a commitment like that to someone i just met and I cannot move to the FSU to court her for an indeterminate period of time, so where does that leave me?

Where it leaves you is where most people are when they start out, either you can or you can't make the time and effort available to wade through the seemingly unending process. Most can't and most can't cop it when they are told so.

Maybe I should rephrase my question; Are FSU women expecting marriage as the outcome of any relationship they have with someone they met through a service?

I would suggest that the more serious ones would be at least hoping (maybe not expecting) for that outcome.   

Frankly, marriage is an extremely overated ancient custom in my humble opinion. I thought it was great until I got a divorce, now, I'm just not too sure any longer.

The reality is if you want to bring an FSU woman stateside, marriage will be part of the deal. Get used to it or don't start.

[Aloe]

Just make sure you let the women know that marriage is not a part of your plans.
Look for a woman from inside Shengen area, they dont need visas even to come to the US (up to 90 days). With FSU women marriage is inevitable, if you want them to come over to the US. If you dont, then again, make sure they know of your plans.

[BC]

Craigslist might be a starting point.  Might find some FSU expat looking for fun without all the hassle.

[kievstar]

There are plenty of women on EM in Kiev who are not looking for marriage but you will take them to a 4 or 5 star resort and pay for gifts.  Just look in the profiles that do not mention family.  Sex may not happen either.  I say one profile on EM last night where the girl now lives in Florida and Kiev.  I know this girl.  She is all about the travel and gifts. 

Longterm cheaper to do an escort agency GFE. 

[daveyj]

Mamba has a "travel companions" section.  It includes many variations, such as those who want a same sex platonic friend with each paying their own way, and those wanting a man who will pay, and they are willing to "cut loose".

FSU citizens can visit Egypt, Turkey and Thailand very easily.  But these are considered somewhat ordinary destinations.  They can also visit the Dominican, Barbados, and Jamaica for short visits without visas (or automatic visa on landing), and these are considered very glamorous vacations.  If you look around, and then book 2-3 weeks before the trip date, you can arrange from round trip airfare from Kiev for $1500-$2000. (for the lady).  I don't know about Moscow.

Understand that you will be expected to pay for everything, including some reasonable gifts for the lady and her friends and family back home.  If you go to an all inclusive, you should also budget for some additional expenses for excursions, a spa visit, etc.

Non-FSU women will not place so much value on a vacation buddy, because they earn more money and can afford it themselves, and they can usually travel to these and other places more easily and don't need you to pay for it.

Ultimately, if you're just looking for casual dating, vacations, etc, you are much better off to just look around locally.  When you factor in the travel costs, time and effort, I don't see why someone would travel from NA to the FSU for just dating and fun.  Given what I know now, even if someone is looking for marriage, I question the practicality for most people of beginning this search (Personally, yes I've been very very fortunate to meet a special FSU lady, but I consider to be simply blind luck on my part)

[Shadow]

It seems you got the questions wrong, and that will not attract the women you want.

From your post I read that you would not object to a marriage, however you want to know the woman first. That in itself is a good thing. Unlike the BS you might have been reading elsewhere, there is no need to tie the knot after a single visit, that is if you can afford plenty of time and travel.
However I would postpone the Europe tours until you have met the woman in question in het home town, seen her friends and surroundings. That is where you will find the answer on if she is someone you could live with, or rather not live without.

If you want a woman who accompanies you on fancy trips but has no intention of marriage, you will find one. But by the time you will be fantasizing about marriage she will move on to a more independent provider.

Unless you plan to be married before being 50, there is no rush and you can take what time you want to find what you want. Just remember that as long as you do not have plans to be married or exclusive, whatever woman you contact has the same right and might lose her heart to another guy.

[Al_C]

Sure, there are lots of women who would be happy with a vacation partner, especially if the partner is the one with the credit card.  But if you want real lasting love, there needs to be an altar somewhere along the line.

Living together is not an option because she can't get a permanent residence visa for your country if you will not marry her (well, almost impossible, but not totally).