One year in the can, major life changes

[roykirk]

About 1 year ago I married my wife, who some might recall I met on Elena's Models.  We first met in a neutral location in Thailand, and what followed were several trips to Novosibirsk to court her as well as a couple of trips for her to the United States on a B-2 tourist visa.  From the time we met until the time she had moved here on K-1 was 1 year and 4 months. 

Anyway, as I said we've been married for 1 year and living in an entirely too small of a town (for her) in the Midwest.  Despite that, it's been more wonderful than I could have imagined.  Within two months of being married, she was pregnant and our life forever changed as we bought a house and prepared for our daughter's arrival.  She's 1 month old now. 

Life married to a RW isn't really that different than I remember being married to an AW.  The difference is in the little cultural things that she's still trying to navigate.  She drives now and has her permanent residency card.  A job is out of the picture for a long time now that we have a little one at home.  Fortunately I make enough that we can afford that.  There have been very few arguments.  Mostly they're over silly things like some weird superstition she still has from Russia or from her mother.  When she lived in Russia she would do some stuff that drove me nuts like leaving chicken out on the counter all night and continuing to pick away at it the next day.  "That's crazy," I'd shout, "don't you know how sick you can get from that?"  She never did.  But now if I leave a bottle on the counter for more than 5 minutes, she's insisting to boil the nipple.  I point out the pedi said boiling nipples isn't necessary, but she doesn't care.  If the formula is out 1 minute past the 1 hour it says on the label, down the drain it goes.  If the baby isn't wrapped up like a mummy, the next time she sneezes she'll claim we've given her pneumonia.  When my mother was here after the birth her and my wife had some tense words when the baby spit up for the first time.  My wife insisted on taking her to the hospital but my mother said don't worry because it's normal.  My mother won that time.  These are the conflicts of my life now.   

She doesn't miss Russia like I thought she would, especially now with the baby.  She's had one two week trip home since she's been here, and she couldn't wait to get back.  She had forgotten how rude people could be and she missed how open and friendly people here are.  After a nasty spat with an Aeroflot rep, she also swore she'd never fly another Russian airline (fat chance of that trying to get to Novosibirsk).  She still can't get over how neighbors we'd never met brought us food when the baby arrived.  When we moved in to our new house strangers also showed up to introduce themselves.  Walmart and the self checkout lanes are still a continual amazement to her. 

One of the worries I had before we got married was that she did like to dress to the nines when she lived in Russia, like most Russian women do.  I was concerned that without a job for awhile, it could get expensive or lead to arguments.  This fear didn't materialize.  She's actually become a frugal shopper.  When we do go to the mall, she'll often seek out stuff on sale, even though I never tell her to do that.  For instance, I remember going to the mall one time and she asked if she could buy a pair of new shoes.  I gave her a couple hundred dollars figuring she could find a really nice pair.  4 hours later she's back with 4 pairs of shoes and a dress because she found a big sale.  Can't complain there!  Her frugality carries over to groceries too, which can drive me up the wall.  Roykirk doesn't do generic mayo or off brand beer.  Still some training to do there.   

In any case, I thought I'd provide an update after our first year since I don't get here much anymore.  Life is good!

[Vaughn]

Very nice update, roykirk....   and I have to giggle, as I still find covered leftover meat on the
counter or stove - and even some canned goods in the 'fridge. Some things never change.

It's understandable why you're around here so infrequently. Enjoy yourselves as the family grows.

[Rina_G]

Hi roykirk!
Be patiently with your wife
I don't see any reasons for worry
there is one good things - kids are growing and all will have their places
my congrats!

[Rutherford]

Very nice update, roykirk....   and I have to giggle, as I still find covered leftover meat on the
counter or stove - and even some canned goods in the 'fridge. Some things never change.

It's understandable why you're around here so infrequently. Enjoy yourselves as the family grows.

Ditto , lol , don't understand this but everything that's unopened  goes right in the fridge   and the cooked food   sits out  for a day or 2 ................

I let my wife read this and she says the reason  RW put  sealed up food into the fridge  is  because they will exploded  with pressure .
We recently bought a bottle of vinegar that went straight into the fridge , I explained that it did not say on the label , "refrigerate  after opening "   or before opening , but she didn't care  .                Sometimes I will remove it from the fridge  and see how long it takes her to realize it .

She says it has something to do with the way Russians package  the foods , not very good I guess   , she can't believe our  mayonnaise  sits on a aisle  with no refrigeration .
I have explained to her that our food supple is dead  , nothing living in it , may be clean  and nonthreatening but has little nutritional value , referring to the packaged foods .

[Shadow]

Seems good times are running.
As for off-brand mayo and beer, you should try it. Sometimes in cheap products they do not have the profit margin to put in chemical substitutes, resulting in cheaper products actually being better.
Make sure you have the regular product available to make your wife understand the difference in taste in case it is an experience you do not wish to repeat. 

[ECOCKS]

My wife is still excited about the pantry but is always concerned about how long the cans will last stored in there.

We don't have the problem with the meats pn counters but she gets easily irritated at keeping leftovers in the refrigerator more than a day or so.

It's funny but the most admired profession she has seen in America so far has been policeman. She just cannot get over how clean, helpful and polite they all are around here.

Congrats on your family situation and my hope is for a healthy, happy baby.

[55North]

Very nice report Roykirk.  Something I didn't do these 2.25 years.
 
My wife came to England stuffed full with our literary classics, Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie, the product of a Soviet education that pretended the US didn't exist.  She is beside herself visiting our ancient piles and gardens, and is attempting to refurbish my house as a Victorian country cottage a la Miss Marples, a 75 year spread!   There are fresh flowers or pot plants everywhere!
 
We are at one regarding playing fast and loose with 'use by' dates, etc.  I've always decided if something was off by smelling it. I was brought up without a fridge as a child, and learnt how to avoid food problems, and keep stuff.  Ditto my wife.  Maybe we just developed tolerance.  We rarely go out to eat.  Our favourite foods are those of each other.  (My English roast dinners are to die for, but won't kill you.)  We don't do junk food, and prefer to prepare nearly all meals from fresh produce.
 
Of course, as we will not be having children, we can play these games.
 
Congratulations upon your baby.

[kievstar]

roykirk, nice to see a good story.  Happy everything is working out.  You continue a happy trend here where you married and had children.  Seems that is way that works in this adventure almost every time.

I am glad my wife does not do the leave the chicken out for a day thing or the can food concern.  I wonder if that is more of a small city Russia or Ukraine thing.  My wife will let food cool before putting into the refrigerator but that is less than 2 hours. 

[FredC]

Roykirk,
Great story, it has given me some new things to consider when my Tatyana arrives here.

Congratulations on the birth of your little bundle of joy. I hope that you and your family live a long and love filled life.

[Gator]

Roykirk,

Good to see your name again.  CONGRATULATIONS!!!

A nice story.  I like reading these nice stories in the married forum.

I grew up in the country down South, and even there we would leave food out (covered) overnight.  And my folks were not Russian.  The spring house was too far away.

I gave her a couple hundred dollars figuring she could find a really nice pair.  4 hours later she's back with 4 pairs of shoes and a dress

Yes, a woman who will not hurt you financially, only help you.  I am still waiting for a married man to say, "I gave her $200 and she returned $100 of it."  On such shopping trips, RW spend it all, every time.

[groovlstk]

I'm sincerely glad to hear things are going well for you, roykirk.

She's had one two week trip home since she's been here, and she couldn't wait to get back.  She had forgotten how rude people could be and she missed how open and friendly people here are. 

My wife said the same thing after her last trip home. Now she misses her family but the thought of all the unfriendly, angry people in Moscow have her postponing her next trip for another year or two.

[Blues Fairy]

Roykirk,

Congratulations on the arrival of your sweet daughter!  Such a joy.

I'm sure you'll sort out the conflicts, since having a little one is a great incentive to do so, provided both parents are mature responsible people (which I'm sure you are!)  Be sure, however, to take your wife's side in any serious conflicts between her and your Mother, even if your think the Mom has more common sense in the matter.  A very important position, in the long run.  Besides, a new mother is ruled by hormones and requires all the support you can give!

[I/O]

Besides, a new mother is ruled by hormones and requires all the support you can give!

They're ruled by bloody hormones for a while before they become that "new mother" also.

Roy, good to hear the update, you two'll do OK.