Traveling to Kaluga end of March

[Chillidog]

about 2 years ago there was a topic on this forum (do not have time right now to find this thread) twhere it was discussed hat people would be better served to search for a women with good English abilities, and to avoid yjose with poor/limited English ability. I was a "small part of this discussion" mainly because my fiance's English ablilities were "limited" when we first met,

some felt that in my comments and me stating how well things were going for us, that I was "thumbing my nose" at them. This certainly was not my intent then and it certainly is not my intent now, with writing this update. My intent was two-fold, first t share with all of you my joy and happiness and finding what I felt then and certainly feel now as being with the most beautiful, most wonderful and tender woman, and second it was to show that "it can be done" (limited English relationship), I never said it was "easy" but if two people love and want it enough there are no obstacles that cannot be overcome

Certainly because of the language barrier we have had our "misunderstandings" and I am certain we will have the occasional misunderstanding but we have always worked thru them, During these past 2 years we have used all manner of communication, writting letters, talking on the phone (my Russian, is at best medicore) Instant Messaging (by using ICQ) and Skype. I will not say it has been easy but I really think it has not been any harder than if Olya spoke/understood English good. Plus just the nature that Olya is a woman and I am a man lends itself to misunderstandings. I did not specificly search for a woman with limited English it just so happened that this is who my heart fell in love with

Olya has worked very hard over the past 2 years at improving her English (she took German not English when she was in High school) and has made very good progress. As of 2 months ago Olya also quit her job, so she could devote more time to studying the English langauge. Because as a mother of a 10 year old boy, she does not have a lot of free time in the evenings, But her biggest obstacle right now is that she does not hear English spoken on an every day basis. Being in Iraq I do not have the opportunity to speak with her myself every day, we are able to talk (via skype) once a week and in these conversations I can tell the progess she has been able to make

Olya admits herself that she still has a lot to learn, and that she first arrives she will feel like a "fish out of water" because she loves to talk and communicate (even with strangers) and she right now does not yet have the confidence in her English.

My personal advice is I would (if I were searching now) not avoid contacting women who's English is limited certainly you will face some additional hurdles. My advice is to follow your heart, try not to be too analytical (I see/read too many posts where people are just plain "overthinking the situation") we are talking "love and marriage" here and nothing in love/marriage makes sense. Listen with your heart, but certainly keep your head about you

[Ade]

about 2 years ago there was a topic on this forum (do not have time right now to find this thread) twhere it was discussed hat people would be better served to search for a women with good English abilities, and to avoid yjose with poor/limited English ability. I was a "small part of this discussion" mainly because my fiance's English ablilities were "limited" when we first met,

some felt that in my comments and me stating how well things were going for us, that I was "thumbing my nose" at them. This certainly was not my intent then and it certainly is not my intent now, with writing this update. My intent was two-fold, first t share with all of you my joy and happiness and finding what I felt then and certainly feel now as being with the most beautiful, most wonderful and tender woman, and second it was to show that "it can be done" (limited English relationship), I never said it was "easy" but if two people love and want it enough there are no obstacles that cannot be overcome

Certainly because of the language barrier we have had our "misunderstandings" and I am certain we will have the occasional misunderstanding but we have always worked thru them, During these past 2 years we have used all manner of communication, writting letters, talking on the phone (my Russian, is at best medicore) Instant Messaging (by using ICQ) and Skype. I will not say it has been easy but I really think it has not been any harder than if Olya spoke/understood English good. Plus just the nature that Olya is a woman and I am a man lends itself to misunderstandings. I did not specificly search for a woman with limited English it just so happened that this is who my heart fell in love with

Olya has worked very hard over the past 2 years at improving her English (she took German not English when she was in High school) and has made very good progress. As of 2 months ago Olya also quit her job, so she could devote more time to studying the English langauge. Because as a mother of a 10 year old boy, she does not have a lot of free time in the evenings, But her biggest obstacle right now is that she does not hear English spoken on an every day basis. Being in Iraq I do not have the opportunity to speak with her myself every day, we are able to talk (via skype) once a week and in these conversations I can tell the progess she has been able to make

Olya admits herself that she still has a lot to learn, and that she first arrives she will feel like a "fish out of water" because she loves to talk and communicate (even with strangers) and she right now does not yet have the confidence in her English.

My personal advice is I would (if I were searching now) not avoid contacting women who's English is limited certainly you will face some additional hurdles. My advice is to follow your heart, try not to be too analytical (I see/read too many posts where people are just plain "overthinking the situation") we are talking "love and marriage" here and nothing in love/marriage makes sense. Listen with your heart, but certainly keep your head about you

Chilli,

I'm happy that your relationship is progressing so well; you've been one of the guys I've been quietly cheering on and hoping you'll find the right one.

However, I will say that I find it difficult to understand how people can be truly in love without being able to communicate effectively. I can understand the lust and infatuation but love, well, in my mind that requires a little deeper understanding of a partner that develops with communication and time and, for most, I think halting conversations with google translate just don't cut it. Of course, given enough time and halting conversations I guess anything is possible but it ain't going to be easy and it's going to take a lot of commitment. The question is then, without being able to talk to someone properly, how do you know it's even worth the commitment required to begin with... unless you fall in love with a picture...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to piss on your relationship in any way, and I'm glad you made it work but I have to wonder just how much luck is involved in these "language challenged" relationships over and above the amount of extra luck you need to have with international dating...

[dogspot]

Chili,

It's hard for me to believe that someone would think you were thumbing your nose at them. I think you're one of the nicest guys on these forums and from reading the content in your posts for the past few years, one of the genuinely good guys. I wish you and your new family all the best.

I am curious to see how their transition is to life here. I hope you will continue to keep us updated with their progress. I am curious to hear how Olya's 10 year old son adapts. Does he speak any English?

[GoodOlBoy]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to piss on your relationship in any way...

Me neither, BUT...I would never attempt or encourage anyone else to marry a stranger (a woman that can't speak and understand our language). Trust me when I say this, you are in for a lot of BIG and little misunderstandings, make no mistake about it!

...and I'm glad you made it work but I have to wonder just how much luck is involved in these "language challenged" relationships over and above the amount of extra luck you need to have with international dating...

I would hold off on popping open any bottles of champagnski until she actually gets here to the GoodOl' USA and sees and hears for herself what she is facing (with a 10 year old son in tow to boot).

GOB

[Chillidog]

SJ, GOB,

I understand your concerns, not saying things are always smooth and there have been misunderstandings already, but what realtionship does not have misunderstands? men and women not always think, or feel the same nor do we always communicate properly our thoughts, even when both parties native language is the same

what is important is that both parties are willing and show patience to listen and hear out the other, relationships are truly formed/based on when things are not "peachy" and how you work together as a team and partners to overcome the rough spots.

Dogspot,

Thanks, I'll do my best to keep things updated

[Chillidog]

Olya, Igor (and myself) arrive in the USA!!!!

Very early (2 am Moscow time) November 11, we all say our “goodbye’s” to Mama (Olya’s mom, Igor’s grandmother) and jump in the taxi for our 2+ hour ride to DME airport. To catch our 6:30 am BMI Airlines flight to London (Heathrow).

In London there is rain and bad weather which delays our final leg to Chicago (ORD) by 2 hours, so instead of departing London at 12:05 (London time) we depart at 2pm. On United Airlines

We arrive in Chicago at 4:30pm (Chicago time) and take the long walk to get to passport control. Olya hands over all of the K1/K2 Visa paperwork and within about 10 minutes we are good to go, with the reminder by the Immigration Officer that we need to be married by February 9

We grab two trolleys for our luggage and walk the short distance to collect our 2 large suitcases and 1 Army footlocker which are already circling and waiting for us to collect them. Shortly my older sister and mother arrive to transport us to Olya’s and Igor’s new home. Unfortunately it is dark out so Olya and Igor do not get a good look around while driving for their first taste of America

While traveling I think often if Olya and Igor could have managed all of this (transferring airplanes, and having to register again in London for our United flight). Olya has traveled a lot (Spain, Tunisia, Egypt, Thailand) but this is her first time in any English speaking country, and knowing her personality I know she would have been very nervous and worried during this travel and would have been very stressed out, so I am very happy that we did this travel together (I would have been a nervous wreck waiting on the other side for them if I had not decided that all of us should travel together).

One side note is it me or is Heathrow the only airport that seems to wait until the last moments before announcing the “Departure Gate” for the flights?

[Boethius]

Congratulations, Chilli!  I am very happy for you, Olya, and Igor. 

Keep us posted on Olya's progress in America.  I am certain Igor will have no problems.  It's been a long journey for you, and I wish you all happiness in the future.