Bachelors

[Son of Clyde]

I am curious as to how many lifelong bachelors have undertook the task of meeting and marrying a woman from the FSU?

As I may have mentioned before, I knew it would be a challenge and I heeded the caution of several long-term RWG members (some now RWD members) but ultimately I did it my way.

Thank you for the advice and I can truly say, it is as tough or tougher than some of you had anticipated.

Some of the problems are being resolved over time and some have yet to be resolved. It is a force of a strong willed versus a passive individual. It is probably good for me because I am learning new behaviors.

Just wanted to post this to let you know it is not all smooth sailing but there are times I am extremely happy. It is a matter of learning to live with another person with a different personality, and dealing with it daily.

I think it will all work out in time. The first year is the hardest for her.

 

[catzenmouse]

I think the first year is hardest on both of you. It was for us at times. The upside is that as a couple you can use these difficulties to come together and become a single unit as opposed to two individuals under the same roof. It is a big plus if you can weather the storms while building a united front. And it is also a big test for you both as you come to see if your future is looking bright together or if it looks like you just made the biggest mistake in your life. Maybe you feel both at the same time. When we have had or problems I know that we have both had the "What the hell am I doing!" type of thoughts but we have continued to work through these moments and I feel more positive about our future every day.

Not only are you dealing with another person (or persons) in your life with different views/habits/beliefs, which for some of us who have been on their own for quite some time it is hard to break our patterns and behaviors,  you are also adding all the government processes and limitations, the cultural differences, the language differences/nuances/misunderstandings, the confusion over why we do it this way, how this was better in (put your country name here), etc. etc. etc. Make no mistake, it is work, a LOT of work. Any relationship is and any good relationship is well worth it.

Elena and I both wish you both the best of all possible futures SoC!

Ken

P. S. Not a lifelong bachelor here but one for many years before the first marriage and for many years after it too.

[KenC]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

I am curious as to how many lifelong bachelors have undertook the task of meeting and marrying a woman from the FSU?

As I may have mentioned before, I knew it would be a challenge and I heeded the caution of several long-term RWG members (some now RWD members) but ultimately I did it my way.

Thank you for the advice and I can truly say, it is as tough or tougher than some of you had anticipated.

Some of the problems are being resolved over time and some have yet to be resolved. It is a force of a strong willed versus a passive individual. It is probably good for me because I am learning new behaviors.

Just wanted to post this to let you know it is not all smooth sailing but there are times I am extremely happy. It is a matter of learning to live with another person with a different personality, and dealing with it daily.

I think it will all work out in time. The first year is the hardest for her.

 

Clyde,

You have had a lot on your plate this first year.  I have been married most of my adult life, but when I think back to the difficulty of the very first year of marriage and compound that with the difficulty of marriage to a RW, I got to give you kudos for making it this far.  With the added burden of "instant parenthood" of a teenager, no less, you truly deserve to feel a sense of accomplishment.

 

What you need to understand is that you may never reach a position of pure bliss in a marriage.  In fact that is almost never reached.  You need to step back occassionally and assess the good with the bad.  As long as the good far out weighs the bad, you're in good shape. 

Another thing to keep in mind is that a marriage is relationship that is constantly evolving.  If things are getting better and better, then you are headed in the right direction.  But if the relationship is trending toward worse, you need to make some adjustments.

Best of luck to you in the future.

KenC

[Son of Clyde]

Thanks guys. I know a lot of work is necessary on both sides. I am trying to be understanding but sometimes it is not smooth sailing. They have many adjustments to make to life in the US. That in itself is no easy task.

[GregfromGa]

It can be hard work man. Anyone that thinks otherwise is crazy. With these girls little things become major ordeals. I know because I'm happily married to a girl from Ukraine. She's the sweetest girl in the world most of the time.  Other times she has all the feminine qualities of a black mamba. Things are much much better. The first year is tough. Get her back home as quick as possible. That helped more than anything.

[KenC]

Get her back home as quick as possible. That helped more than anything

Good point, Greg,

My wife, Lena didn't really appreciate a lot of things here until she took a few trips back to Russia.  It was almost as if every trip back reinforced her appreciation of America. 

KenC