First date in Ukraine

[docetae]

Hello,

I will have my first date with a girl I'm corresponding with since 2  months now next march. This will be my first date with a ukrainian  woman, she is 27, I'm 32, she is mother of one child, I'm father of 3 ,  both of us are divorced.

I will have a few questions ... I will spend around 5 days in her town  and after one week in Kyiv as tourist. She asks me to join me during my  time in the ukrainian capital.

So here are my questions :
- What will be the best present for her for a first date ? flowers ?
- If I meet her parents (they are already aware of our correspondance),  what will be the best present for them and are there special social  rules to follow ...
- A special dumb question : we have already planned to go to a  restaurant for the first evening... if everything goes well and finish  by a kiss, what is the next step based on social rules ... ask her if  she wants to stay with me or to call a taxi for her ... ?

Any suggestions, advises are welcome.

Thanks

Doc.

[Bruno]

If a russian woman wish more after some kiss, you will know it... only take care about the hint she give... never ask but follow your feeling... she can maybe follow you the first night but this don't always mean sex relation... she can wish learn more about you and sleep in sofa... again, you will know when she is ready for more

[jb]

Flowers are always a good idea, 1st date or 10th.

About gifts for parents, ask her.

A special dumb question : we have already planned to go to a  restaurant for the first evening... if everything goes well and finish  by a kiss, what is the next step based on social rules ... ask her if  she wants to stay with me or to call a taxi for her ... ?  

You should simply invite her up to the apartment for a drink and a  talk. If you are wondering about the when of sex, the best tip off will  be when she dissappears to take a shower.   In just about  every case in a new relationship, there will probably be a pre-intimacy  ritual shower so the woman presents herself to her new lover as fresh  and as sweet as possible.

[MandM]

[/quote]
For heaven's sake don't bring her father any 'mechanic tools' the first time you meet him!! I'd say a bottle of  whiskey or brandy is always a good present for a man. Well, it keeps my dad happy anyway.

Flowers for the lady, definitely. Most RW love roses, and don't forget it should be an odd number!

[Admin]

For heaven's sake don't bringÂher father any 'mechanic tools' the first time you meet him!! I'd say a bottle of whiskey or brandy is always a good present for a man. Well, it keeps my dad happy anyway.

Flowers for the lady, definitely. Most RW love roses, and don't forget it should be an odd number!

Yeah - I remember suggesting that I might bring a 'Leatherman' for Olya's father as a gift. She asked me what it was, and since I had recently purchased one for myself, I was telling her about all the neat options it has. When I mentioned that one of the 'main' options is a knife - she was aghast and told me "nelzhia"! Apparently, giving a knife as a gift is something you only do if you want to fight with the other person :zappedhim:

It seemed like a really great gift to me - but I guess I was looking at it from the practical standpoint of what it would do - and not the vastly more significant superstition significance it represented :noidea:

- Dan

[RacerX]

Hey Doc ~ how 'bout just giving her the K-1 visa papers to sign, as a present!

Only kidding, but you do seem to be rushing things a bit.  RW and most UW are rather conservative, much more so than the average AM - don't be put off if your first visit is just one of friendship. 

And, with all these great expectations, I almost hate to mention it, but do you have a backup plan?

Good luck, and let us know how everything turns out.

p.s. flowers for her (and the Mom if you meet her) and something from your State/City for the Dad.

[jb]

The gift of a knife superstition is not confined to the FSU.  All of my life I've known that to give someone a knife is to sever the friendship.  It is a symbolic message that you do not wish to continue a relationship or a friendship. 

[Admin]

The gift of a knife superstition is not confined to the FSU. All of my life I've known that to give someone a knife is to sever the friendship. It is a symbolic message that you do not wish to continue a relationship or a friendship.

I didn't know that. See how valuable these boards are - learn something new every day!

- Dan

[docetae]

Hey Doc ~ how 'bout just giving her the K-1 visa papers to sign, as a present!

Only kidding, but you do seem to be rushing things a bit.  RW and  most UW are rather conservative, much more so than the average AM -  don't be put off if your first visit is just one of friendship. 

And, with all these great expectations, I almost hate to mention it, but do you have a backup plan?

Good luck, and let us know how everything turns out.

p.s. flowers for her (and the Mom if you meet her) and something from your State/City for the Dad.

More details about my story.

It seems that the great expectations are shared righ now a six month  correspondance is not the exact definition of rushing for me by the way  ...and this will take almost one year from our first mail if she is  moving to Canada... so no rush.

The official goal of this travel for me in fact is business ...I have  started by working with people from Ukraine and I need to go there to  finalize the setup of the ukrainian branch of my company (software  development) and to establish partnership with other companies.

My first contact with Ukraine was work oriented , I decided to try one  agency (cc - I learn after this was not the most recommended) as I'm  divorced , I exchange letter with around 12 differents girls and  something special seems to happen with this one.

So I prefer to be optimistic and believe she is the one If this is  not the case this will be sad, but I will have a lot of others things  to do there ...

Doc.

[catzenmouse]

The gift of a knife superstition is not confined to the FSU.  All of my life I've known that to give someone a knife is to sever the friendship.  It is a symbolic message that you do not wish to continue a relationship or a friendship. 

I didn't know that. See how valuable these boards are - learn something new every day!

- Dan[/quote]
Is why you always get a coin in return from the "gift" receiver. It's a symbolic buying of the knife and removes the severing of the friendship.

[docetae]

The gift of a knife superstition is not confined to the FSU.  All of my life I've known that to give someone a knife is to sever the friendship.  It is a symbolic message that you do not wish to continue a relationship or a friendship. 

I didn't know that. See how valuable these boards are - learn something new every day!

- Dan[/quote]

If you want to offer a knife, the one receiving the knife should give  you a coin, so this is not a present but a purchase and frienship is  safe.  That was the tradition in Nederland .

[Albert]

Whatever you give her as present might not be what she wanted.  I have been on first dates with over 155 FSU women (on WMVM trips) and I never gave any of them a present on first date.  And I was never turned down for a second date.  As we passed some flower stands I asked a few of them if they wanted something, and all said no.

When I go just to meet one woman (and this is always after I have previously met her on a WMVM trip), I bring the mothers a small bottle of perfume and a fingernail travel kit.  I bring the fathers a small tool kit.  On my last visit, when I showed the gal the tool kit for her father, she said to me: "I will keep that for myself and get father something different."   On these second trips I give the gal a gold necklace, or set of pearls, etc.

As to what to do after restaurant, you should plan this beforehand.  It will make a difference whether you are in her hometown or in Kyiv.  It is unclear from your post where you will meet her first.    What I always do is tell all the gals that I am renting apt with two separate sleeping areas.  And I tell them they are welcome to sleep there anytime.  Most local gals will not make a commitment one way or the other, until after restaurant and after a visit to your apt.  But most out of town gals will let you know beforehand whether they plan to stay with you in your apt or not.  It is imperative that you tell them all there are two separate sleeping areas.  Often, this second sleeping area will never be used, but its availability is what allows the gals to convince themselves to stay with you.  Also, always carry some extra toothbrushes (new in original packaging) in your suitcase.  Then, when they say they can't stay because of no toothbrush, you hand the new one to them.  If they say they forgot to bring extra tampons . . . . well its probably not a good idea to have a supply in your suitcase!!  :-))

In any event, it is always a good idea to get the gal to your apt as soon as possible.  But not just for the purpose of sex.  Once she gets into your apt, you both can relax more, look at pictures you have brought, make tea, eat some cake that you have purchased at deli on way home from restaurant, listen to some music on CD player, play some cards or chess, etc.

There is a world of difference on second dates between gals who were not at your apt on first dates and those who have been.  On second dates with gals who have been to your apt on first dates, there is often the feeling that you have known each other for several months.  She will often suggest coming straight to your apt to pick you up, or bringing something to apt to cook for you, bringing a favorite CD or DVD to play, bringing her photo albums to show you, etc.

Yes, it has been mentioned that the shower thing is a sure tip off that they are wanting sex.  But not all of them will shower, yet they will still be ready or even be very very wanting to have sex.  I always just go through the standard motions of hugging, kissing here and there, and wait for the woman to make the first definitive move.   I play it pretty dumb up to a point.  But when they pull their blouse up out of their skirt or trousers (just to get more comfortable on the sofa), or take off their skirt (just so it won't get wrinkled), or unhook their bra (just to breathe a little easier), or touch any of my private parts . . . . then I smarten up quite a bit. 

There have been a few (that I didn't have sex with on first date) here and there who told me (on second or subsequent dates) they were disappointed I wasn't more aggressive on first date but I still like my method best.

 

[jb]

That's it exactly, but if someone decides to give me a knife I would  wonder if he or she really wants a coin in return, or,, were they  sending me a message.  I was always taught that knives were never  an appropiate gift to anyone.   If a person needs a knife,  they will go buy one on their own.

[catzenmouse]

That's it exactly, but if someone decides to give me a knife I would wonder if he or she really wants a coin in return, or,, were they sending me a message.  I was always taught that knives were never an appropiate gift to anyone.   If a person needs a knife, they will go buy one on their own.

jb,

 Do you piss off that many people that they feel the need to send messages? :P:D

 I agree that generally a knife is not an appropriate gift but with something like the leatherman it would be very useful. The only knife gift I've ever given was a commorative knife with an etched picture on the blade for a collector friend. I got a coin and we are still friends.

Ken

[docetae]

Albert, this is the difference . I'm not looking specially for a FSU  woman ... It just happen I try one agency with no specific goals in my  mind and she was there, trough our correspondance, things seems to be  fine ... So if it appears there is nothing between us in fact, I will  not meet someone else ...

I will meet her in her native town, this is where I have my company and I will stay at the hotel, not in an appartment.

[Admin]

jb,

ÂÂÂDo you piss off that many people that they feel the need to send messages? :P:D

ÂÂÂI agree that generally a knife is not an appropriate gift but with something like the leatherman it would be very useful. The only knife gift I've ever given was a commorative knife with an etched picture on the blade for a collector friend. I got a coin and we are still friends.

Ken

I am kind of partial to the locking blade style which are small and compact and yet, available for duty in a flash. In fact, SOG offers one called the "Flash" for its rapid deployment ability.



For those in Ukraine, there is a place to buy some VERY nice handmade German knives at great prices. It is near Maidan Nazalezhnosti (Independence Square) over towards the McDonalds - in the lobby of the Kazakhatsky Hotel.

- Dan

[RacerX]

Sorry Doc, I missed that you were from Canada.  IIRC, don't you have to wait a year after marrying her before she can immigrate?  If so, you're right, there will be a lot of time for you 'penpals' to get to know each better.  I just smiled a bit at the tone of your questions but seeing how this is a business trip, you've alredy taken care of your backup plan.

But, do you think it wise to mix business with pleasure??

[RacerX]

Dammit, where's the moderator for this board?  I need him to perform his censorship on these pesky off-topic posts. 

[catzenmouse]

Sorry Doc, I missed that you were from Canada.  IIRC, don't you have to wait a year after marrying her before she can immigrate?  If so, you're right, there will be a lot of time for you 'penpals' to get to know each better.  I just smiled a bit at the tone of your questions but seeing how this is a business trip, you've alredy taken care of your backup plan.

But, do you think it wise to mix business with pleasure??

Exactly!!! Forget about all that business crap. :DThese are FSUW!!!:D Where pleasure comes in many shapes, sizes, hair colors, and languages. Fill up the pool and dive in!

Ken

P.S. Doc, where in Canada are you? I've lived in Nova Scotia and Alberta.

[docetae]

she can emigrate before one year, but she will have to wait around 8  month with a visa tourist to get all paper work done before starting to  work ... the visa tourist is ok for 6 months, so she will have to leave  the country , like just crossing the us border and going back here ....  

[Wayne]

Flowers, wine, candy and cake are simple gifts.  A tee shirt or sweatshirt with English words might be good, depending upon the situation.

 

 

[Admin]

Dammit, where's the moderator for this board? I need him to perform his censorship on these pesky off-topic posts.Â

OK, OK - point taken.

I've added a new emoticon so that people, like yourself, can DECLARE a post Off-Topic, and in that way, we can (hopefully) avoid the frequent thread-drift.

Thanks,

- Dan

[anono]

too late.

well, maybe i can get away with the leatherman as a gift ( i think they are great too, dan. i own about five or six different kinds and have given away as many) to yuliya's dad because i gave it to her to give to him.

i meet her parents for the first time next week. i plan on asking yuliya what to get for her parents but suggestions like these are welcome.

you do learn somehing new..thank whoever otherwise it'd get pretty boring knowing everything:hairraising:

[antihack2005]

I agree: t shirts are good souvenirs, especially the humorous , like this one:
http://www.cafepress.com/tbomb.11945165
You can buy somethink like that in US in Spenser Gifts in US malls across the country... I sent some like that to my girl's brother. He liked it.
I also sent Golden Rose once. They are sell on the web in US i-net shops: http://www.romanceher.com/goldroses.htm
but there are some Russian local i-net shops that export them too, but sell them locally for a higher price:
http://www.flowers2moscow.com/cgi-bin/store/index.cgi?pid=17

Roger